Greetings, readers! ^^ I'm happy to see all of you again! I believe that we left off with Operation: Interrogate Haruhi about to begin. Before that, I'd like to ask all of you what you think of the story thus far and to thank those of you who did leave me your thoughts. :D I appreciate your feedback!

I apologize for my lateness.

Okay, I'll stop blathering now and get on with the story… I do not own any of the characters, the setting, or things associated with OHSHC. Please enjoy~!

"Do I even want to know what's about to happen?" Haruhi asked, glancing with slight suspicion at Hikaru and Kaoru from her rather comfortable chair. The light from the reading - rather, interrogation - lamp shone down upon her, causing her to squint.

Hikaru grinned widely.

Kaoru snickered.

"I'll take that as a 'no.'" Haruhi sighed, hugging her legs to her chest and sinking back into the chair.

"Haruhi," Hikaru began, a slightly alarming sweetness in his voice, "Kaoru and I were just thinking that we know very little about you."

"Therefore," Kaoru smiled, false innocence laced through his voice, "we were wondering if you'd answer a few of our questions."

"Define 'a few,' and I'll consider it," Haruhi stated, becoming more aware of the dangerous waters in which she swam.

"Oh, no more than two dozen," Hikaru beamed, showing his molars.

"Give or take four dozen," Kaoru added.

"I will answer no more than twenty," Haruhi stated flatly, allowing no room for argument; of course, she would much rather not answer any at all, but she realized that this was impossible in the Hitachiin household.

"Twenty questions it is!" Hikaru and Kaoru cheered; they were greatly pleased with this number, as they had been expecting her to flatly refuse.

"But," Haruhi hastily added, "I get to choose not to answer three of them."

"One," Hikaru countered.

"Three," Haruhi repeated.

"One," Hikaru replied.

"Two," Haruhi relented, "but I get to ask each of you three questions."

"Okay," the twins shrugged, unaware of the danger of the Haruhi they had corrupted.

"You may begin," Haruhi nodded, keeping her smirk in check - after all, she didn't want them getting suspicious.

"Question one!" Hikaru beamed, "Which host do you dream about most frequently, and how often is that?"

Skating over the fact that this was a combination of two questions, Haruhi replied, "I dream about all of you pretty equally. You all turn up maybe once a week, and then appear separately or in small groups one or two other nights. For some odd reason, though, you two never show up in a pair. I've never been able to figure out why that is."

Hikaru and Kaoru blinked at each other. They had not been expecting her to have dreamed about them any more than they had expected her to talk about fruit taking over the world. In fact, they had assumed that Haruhi was the type of person who didn't remember their dreams.

"Okay… on to question two," Kaoru nodded. "What do we usually do in those dreams?"

To their great surprise, a light blush dusted Haruhi's cheeks. Despite this, she remained calm. "You guys don't really do anything out of the ordinary, I suppose… it's usually just more of what you do to me during the day."

"Question three," Hikaru gulped, "do you like these dreams?"

"I suppose," Haruhi shrugged, causing both Hitachiins to flush deeply. "After all, I still like all of you well enough."

"I-is there anything unusual about these dreams?" Kaoru asked, using their fourth question and a stutter.

Haruhi thought for a moment before answering. "Well," she blinked, trying to remember, "Aside from you two almost never being together, obviously, there's the fact that Mori-sempai always wears a… hat and whispers a lot more than usual… and that Kyoya's eyes get exceptionally dark when he… when he's in the dreams."

Hikaru and Kaoru looked at each other and blinked, processing the information she had given them in her words and actions; her rewording her sentence had not escaped their notice.

"What exactly - exactly - did Kyoya-sempai do in the exceptionally dark-eyed dreams?" Hikaru asked, using their fifth question.

Haruhi blinked up at them, wondering simultaneously why they were wasting a question and how she could answer without it being incriminating. "Well, to be honest," she looked up at the two of them, their eyes boring into hers, "I suppose that he acts kind of like you two, only more so."

"What do you mean, 'more so'?" Hikaru asked, without giving a second thought to the fact that he was using their sixth question.

Haruhi blushed lightly. "He just gets closer to me that usual, and he touches me more… but he maintains his shadow lord aura throughout the dream. He's somewhat powerful, I'd guess you'd say." She gave an almost imperceptible gulp.

"Changing topics," Kaoru interjected, clamping a hand over Hikaru's mouth, "for your seventh question: We know who your first kiss ever was - but have you ever kissed a guy?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Not that I remember, but if you go by Mori-sempai's reaction to the whole fiasco on April Fool's Day, I think I kissed him. If you're really curious, I think you should ask him."

Hikaru quickly texted Mori and asked him; his cheeks grew red and his expression became one of frustration when the answer returned as an affirmative.

"Haruhi," Kaoru asked, while Hikaru was attempting to calm down, "you've kissed all the members of the host club at least once, right?"

"No," Haruhi answered the eighth question, after a moment of thought. "I haven't kissed Honey-sempai - or Renge, if you count her as a member."

Kaoru nodded, noting mentally that he had been present for all but one of said kisses - after all, most of the kisses had happened earlier that day. He sat down on the arm of her chair, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "While my brother is freaking out, I'm going to use our ninth question. What is one thing that really turns you on?"

Haruhi blinked at Kaoru, her cheeks darkening to a lovely shade of cerise. "Really dark chocolate, I suppose," she whispered.

"Dark chocolate," Kaoru grinned thoughtfully.

Haruhi nodded, feeling slightly wary and rather glad that she had not told him anything more unusual.

After recovering, clearing his throat, and sitting down on the other arm of her chair, Hikaru slung his arm over Haruhi's shoulders. "So, Haruhi," he smirked, "if you had the two of us as your servants for a day, what would you have us do?"

Haruhi's face worked furiously for a moment before she managed to hide her smirk. "You two as my servants for a day," Haruhi considered her options carefully, her eyes flickering back and forth between their faces. "Well, for starters, I'd probably make the two of you clean my apartment - correctly, mind you. After that, I'd have you make some breakfast for my father and me, and then clean up whatever huge mess you'd make. Then, I'd have you two do the laundry - even if I had to talk you, spoiled as you are, through it. Then -"

"Haruhi, skip the basics and skip to the good stuff!" Hikaru sighed.

"Yeah, we know that whoever was your servant for the day would have to do the chores," Kaoru agreed. "We just wanted to know what else you'd have us do."

Haruhi blinked at them. "What do you mean? Chores can take up almost an entire day. There wouldn't be time for much else."

"But there would be some time left," Hikaru pressed.

"Do tell us, Haruhi," Kaoru grinned.

Haruhi considered the two of them for a moment, her eyes flickering back and forth, forth and back between them. "I don't know," she said slowly, flicking through the many pages of options in her mind, "maybe I'd have you tell me about your past, or I'd have you be completely silent for a few minutes - you know, just to see how that would be - or I could even have you go to work with Dad." She laughed internally at this last one upon seeing their somewhat horrified expressions.

"Eleventh question," Kaoru said hurriedly. "When you were in middle school, did you ever hang out with a group of friends - if so, tell us about them, will you?"

"I'm not sure if you'd call it a group, but some of us did get together sometimes," Haruhi shrugged. "People floated in and out, depending on their schedule - I just sat down at lunch, and they kind of converged around me. We had fun during recess, and we occasionally played on the weekends. Dad refused to let me near any boys, though, so all of my friends were girls for a long while."

The twins nodded, inviting her to continue.

"There was Kasumi - she was the unofficial leader of the group; it was relatively deadly to give her pretzels; I guess that we were close. Then there was Tamami - she was the mother hen type, with a sweet tooth and a sense of humor. Akimi joined us a bit later on - around our second year of middle school - and her fiercest foe was her milk carton. Kaede had a passion for leaves and ferrets, and woe be to anyone who dared insult either of them within earshot of her. Hoshi was the actress of the group, but was very level-headed - except onstage, of course." Haruhi nodded, rolling her eyes before she continued her spiel. "Makimi had an almost alarming affinity with plants; her Venus fly trap, Spike, almost took Kasumi's finger off. Yaichi's got a long memory and is a bit of a tease."

The twins nodded, absorbed this information, and blinked quite a bit. After a long silence, Hikaru asked, as casually as possible, "Hey, Haruhi, what happened at the beach house - you know, in the time between we went off to interrogate Nekozawa and when we found milord blindfolding you?"

"Nothing special," Haruhi shrugged. "After I'd finished in the bathroom, I found out that I was in Kyoya-sempai's room; he was drying his hair from his shower. We had an odd little chat about merits when we were sitting on his bed. Then Kyoya-sempai stood up and Tamaki-sempai came into the room - he started imagining all this weird stuff, and questioned me furiously after Kyoya-sempai left the room, asking why Kyoya-sempai was shirtless, the lights were off, and the bed was messed up," at this point, she paused and glanced up at the two slack-jawed twins.

"Y-you and Kyoya-sempai had -!" Hikaru spluttered.

Haruhi sighed impatiently, "No, we did not. We were merely talking - funny, you had the same reaction as Tamaki-sempai. Anyway, after the interrogation, the storm started, and I retreated to the wardrobe. Tamaki-sempai seemed shocked at the fact that I always rode out storms that way, and warned me about the metal plates in the corners. After that, I jumped out, he spouted some weird, flowery line, and then he offered me the blindfold and earplugs so I couldn't see or hear the storm. Then you guys came in and the scene was mistaken yet again." She shrugged. "It was a relatively ordinary night."

The thirteenth question was Kaoru's to ask. "Which male host do you like the most, and why?"

Haruhi gave them her deadpan stare. "I am using one of my freebies on this question - as to why, if I said none of you, the two of you would make me pick one, and then pout if it wasn't you."

"Okay, then," Kaoru nodded. "That's fair enough."

Hikaru used the fourteenth question, rephrasing Kaoru's inquiry. "Which male host would you most like to know more about, and why?"

Haruhi considered her six options for a moment before answering, "I'd say either Mori-sempai or Kyoya-sempai. Mori-sempai is so quiet that you can never tell what he's thinking, and I'd like to see what goes on in that head of his and how his thought process operates. Kyoya-sempai, on the other hand, talks, but he only says what he wants us to hear - I'd like to see what's whirring away in his brain, and whether or not his heart is as black as many say."

The twins blinked at her; they had expected her to refuse to answer this question, as well, and that they could trap her by doing so. Instead, she had given them an answer that they themselves might have given, thereby telling them nothing useful.

"You may continue with your interrogation," Haruhi stated, leaning back in her chair.

"Right," Kaoru said, gathering himself more quickly than Hikaru, "for your fifteenth question: If you could be an animal, which would you be and why?"

Hikaru gaped at his twin, wondering why he asked such a pointless question.

Haruhi answered, "I'd probably be an owl. They're quite intelligent and have a rich history, in addition to being able to fly. Even though they're often associated with black magic, I get the feeing that they're on the side of justice; besides," she said with a slight shiver, "when they get cold, they can huddle together in their nests and fluff out their feathers to stay warm."

Kaoru, getting her hint, withdrew his arm from her shoulders and fetched a blanket. "Sorry, Haruhi," he apologized, tucking it around her - thereby dislodging his twin's arm, "I didn't realize how thin your Jasmine outfit is. You must've been cold."

Haruhi nodded once. "Thank you."

Hikaru watched this scene with some level of confusion before asking the sixteenth question, grinning in an eerily Kyoya-like manner. "If you had x-ray glasses and were trapped in a room with all of the hosts, where would you look?"

Kaoru blushed, recognizing the web page that his twin was paraphrasing. He shot his twin a warning look; they didn't want to scare Haruhi. Hikaru grinned guiltily, also blushing.

Haruhi, not blushing and obviously not grasping the point of the question, responded, "I'd probably look at the door, walls, ceiling, or floor to see if there was a way to get out."

Kaoru glowered at his twin and communicated, That was a waste of a question.

Like your animal one wasn't? Hikaru communicated back.

Hey! Kaoru protested telepathically, we found out that Haruhi respects owls and would like to be one - and that she was cold! You can't call that a waste of a question!

Hikaru growled and looked away in defeat. Fine, then.

"Seventeenth question!" Kaoru beamed, attempting to get the blush to vacate his cheeks. "If you had to eat chocolate," here he paused, and Haruhi blushed lightly, "out of one of our hands, who would you choose?"

"It depends on which type of chocolate each of you had," Haruhi whispered, well aware of what Kaoru was doing.

"Milk, always milk," Hikaru nodded.

"I have dark," Kaoru shrugged innocently, trying and failing to hide his smile.

"Then… Kaoru," Haruhi answered. "I prefer dark chocolate."

Hikaru looked away, displeased with this outcome. "Which of the two of us do you like more?"

Haruhi answered calmly, "I like you both the same amount; it's hard to compare you because you're so different."

The twins gaped at her, unable to form a coherent sentence.

Haruhi blinked up at them in apparent surprise. "You have no reason to look at me like that - it's not the first time I've commented on your differences."

"H-How do you tell us apart, anyway?" Hikaru asked weakly, using their nineteenth question.

"After I answer this question, I'm going to ask you two your three individual questions," Haruhi warned them. "I tell you apart by your ways of speech, the way you walk, and what hides in your eyes. I suppose that the last one is the tell-all; after all, they say that the eyes are the windows to the soul."

The twins blinked at each other, somewhat frightened. She sees our souls?

Haruhi laughed lightly before ordering Kaoru out of the room. "I'm doing Hikaru's questions first."

Kaoru walked quietly to the door and exited; he partially closed the door behind him and stood, listening.

"So, Hikaru," Haruhi smiled, "what's one thing that you and Kaoru will never, ever agree on?"

Hikaru gaped at her for a moment, some small portion of his brain thinking that he had done an awful lot of gaping today. He then answered, "I guess that we won't agree on whether milk chocolate is better than dark. I like milk; Kaoru likes dark."

"Second question," Haruhi nodded, "what is something that you want to happen, but you don't think ever will?"

Hikaru blinked at her, absorbing the many connotations of this question. "I don't know… maybe being independent from Kaoru and still being close to him…."

Haruhi gave a small, dangerous smile as she dropped the last question upon him. "Why do you like to touch me so much?"

"Um," Hikaru stalled, going rather red.

A slightly dangerous laugh escaped Haruhi's throat as she observed Hikaru's red-faced discomfort, amused at how splendidly he and his twin had corrupted her. She raised her eyebrows expectantly at Hikaru.

Hikaru, his entire face a lovely vermillion hue, stuttered, "I-it's because you're my - our - toy. Y-you have to touch your toys to - to play with them."

Haruhi nodded. "Alright. Tell Kaoru that he can come in, and you go out."

Hikaru beat a hasty retreat; Haruhi snuggled a little deeper into the blanket.

The twins exchanged a pleasantly - in Haruhi's mind, at least - horrified glance as they switched positions, Kaoru having heard every word of the interrogation.

"Hello, Haruhi," Kaoru said cautiously, reclaiming the seat on the arm of her chair.

Haruhi greeted him with an alarmingly cheerful smile. "Hello, Kaoru. Let's begin."

"If you insist," Kaoru gulped, noting how the roles had switched from the beginning of Haruhi's visit.

"I do," Haruhi smiled pleasantly. "So, Kaoru, what is one thing aside from chocolate that you and Hikaru disagree upon?"

"Well," Kaoru answered slowly, "if we both were ever to fall in love with the same person, I suppose that we'd argue over who got to court her."

Haruhi shook her head. "But then, you'd decide that Hikaru could have her, because you want him to be happy. But, Kaoru, answer me this - what if the girl was meant for you, and that she merely enjoyed Hikaru's presence - what then?"

Kaoru gaped at her. "I-I guess that I'd never know, because she'd be with Hikaru, and that it would all end well enough. I'd go on, support them, and find someone or something else."

"What if she told you that she preferred you, Kaoru - and the same night, Hikaru told you that he liked her - what would you do?"

"I don't know," Kaoru whispered, cheeks red. "I really don't know. Either way, someone would get hurt - if I protected Hikaru, she would get hurt, and if I accepted her, then Hikaru would get hurt. It'd be a no-win situation -"

"- that would work out in the end," Haruhi smiled softly. "Kaoru, I'm no expert on love, but if you really loved her, and she really loved you back, then I'm sure that Hikaru would step aside for you. Remember that - and go call him back inside the room. You guys have one more question to ask me."

Kaoru went to the door and found his twin staring at him blankly. After snapping his fingers in Hikaru's face, Kaoru began the discussion of what the last question should be. Eventually, after much arguing, the two of them came to an agreement and walked back to Haruhi, eager to hear her answer.

She smiled innocently at them from beneath her blanket, and nodded to show that she was ready for the final question.

"Haruhi," the twins said in unison, "if you could go back and do it over again, would you still open the door to music room three?"

Haruhi stood up, the blanket wrapped around her like a cape. Smiling slightly, she replied, "I am using my second freebie, so I do not have to answer that question."

The twins stared at her, disappointment flooding through them.

Haruhi, ignoring them and shifting back to her ordinary self, glanced at the clock on the mantle. "It's getting late - we should change into our pajamas." She began walking to the door; something occurred to her, and she turned around again. "By the way, I brought my own pajamas. I refuse to sleep in a princess outfit."

The twins numbly agreed and escorted her up to their bedroom, where they had had a maid take Haruhi's bag. Upon gathering her pajamas, Haruhi entered the twins' bathroom and locked the door behind her, so that she could change in peace and privacy.

And, although she would never admit it, her answer to their last question was 'yes.'

Well, there's the end of the long-awaited 4th chapter of PCLttU! I hope you enjoyed it and think it worth the wait.

I implore you to leave a review in that nice little review box. *bows deeply* Kindly make this poor excuse of a writer happy.