Following Blindly

Mercedes Lackey "Heralds of Valdemar" Fan Fiction

-Chapter 4-

Ashlen was breathless, speechless, and even in his mind he couldn't get a single solid thought to form. Foalalia's voice continued to ring in the empty shocked silence. 'I Chose you.' With her soft voice had come a wash of the warmest feeling, it was like suddenly becoming whole without ever knowing he was incomplete. Like fresh baked bread, whispers of the first summer winds, and mothers' warm hugs all at once. He choked and a few of involuntary tears trickled down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her elegant head and she waited patiently for him to collect himself.

Faintly in the back of his mind a similar feeling leaked in through some unknown hole in the wall of his mind. He knew subconsciously that this was Shelen. That his brother was also experiencing something similar to him but it didn't really matter all he cared about right now was holding on to Foalalia's elegant neck and burring his hands in her thick silky mane. He didn't ever want to let go, it felt too good. She however seemed to have other plans. Foalalia raised her head and pushed him to the wagon again, making sure he had a hold of it before she pulled away completely. "Now, my love, you had best see a healer. Your body and your soul could both use a healers touch." He frowned but he could not disagree with her, it was all too true.

Ashlen eased himself back into the wagon bed, knowing all the while that Foalalia's soft nose was just a twitch away should he need an extra push. He felt wonderful, and he knew nothing in the world could compare to this. Shelen and Aunt Hedda were talking, perhaps to him, but he didn't hear them. He let himself just daze until the wagon somehow arrived at whatever destination it had set, though he hadn't even realized it was moving again. He heard a deep voice in amongst those voices that were speaking and immediately felt a dark sinking feeling envelop him. "No, don't go!" He thought desperately as the warm feeling that Foalalia had brought with her receded.

"Come on son, let's get you inside." He felt the wagon shift beneath him as someone else climbed in and he felt his body begin to shake.

"No, I'm fine here." he choked out. Shaking his head and scooting back away from the deep voice.

"It's all right. I'm a healer. I'm here to help you. Okay?"

Ashlen shook his head again "No, just go away. Don't touch me."

"I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here. I promise, I will not hurt you."

Vaguely Ashlen believed him but only vaguely. He heard the man shift, the fabric of his cloths rustled as they slid across the skin they covered and Ashlen stiffened. His stomach dropped and felt cold as if someone had plopped a snowball in his lap. He felt the edges of the man's fingers touch his shoulder, gently, ever so carefully.

Hedda was talking to Healer Vaun, a woman who was very good a healing the mind though she was not a healing Adept. Shelen had been escorted to the Herald's College by Fyllis, his Companion, while she led the wagon to the Healers ward. She was explaining, in detail, what she knew about Ashlens condition when a sharp panicked whinny caused them all to jump and turn back toward the wagon. Foalalia was rearing on her hind legs, her eyes wide with panic. Kris stomped his feet and pawed at the grass. "Quickly, there's a man in there with Ashlen!"

"WHAT?" Hedda jerked forward but not in time. A short pained cry came through the opaque canvas cover of the wagon and a man in Healer greens can sailing out of the back of the wagon and hit the ground with a sickening wet crack. He bellowed and rolled onto his side, holding a limp arm protectively to his side.

"Good heavens!" Healer Vaun exclaimed and then she turned and called for help from inside while Hedda raced to the back of the wagon. Foalalia had her neck stretched out as far as she could in an attempt to reach Ashlen with her soft pink nose, whickering softly. The dark haired boy was curled up in a ball against the opposite end of the wagon, shaking. She sighed and shook her head; they had made it all the way to Haven without incident and now this.

There was murmuring behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see a pair of Healer trainees in pale green easing the Healer with the broken arm up onto his feet and guiding him back into the stone building. Healer Vaun was at her side now with two larger healers in toe.

"Hold it!" Hedda said, blocking their access to the wagon bed with her body. The cousin, who's name escaped her at the moment, had come around the wagon as well and was standing with a hand over her mouth staring after the injured Healer.

"Hedda, you told me he was delicate not dangerous."

"He's both, but you're not going to get anywhere by sending more men in there to scare him further. I told you that this should be delegated to your best FEMALE Healers for a reason." She glared at the two orderlies and they looked away from her, not wanting to meet her fierce gaze.

There was silence for a moment as Healer Vaun studied her and then it was the younger woman's turn to sigh then shoo away the orderlies. Hedda moved to the side and Healer Vaun climbed into the wagon bed and inched carefully toward the shivering Chosen. She tensely touched his shoulders and jerked in surprise when he all but threw himself at her. She cooed soothing words at him as she slowly moved him toward the tailgate. As soon as they were in range Foalalia thrust her nose into his chest and nuzzled him, her blue eyes awash with worry. A sturdy looking female trainee edged forward and helped Healer Vaun lower Ashlen out of the wagon and into chair with wheels instead of legs; it was one of the more recent inventions that Natoli Austreben has overseen in the recent years. They wheeled him into the building and Foalalia followed, easily fitting though the wide double doors. She snorted at a shocked Healer who was holding the door for Vaun and her ward. I was highly unusual that a Companion would venture into a building but no one attempted to stop her after the first time she laid her ears back and bared her teeth at an offending Healer seeking to separate her from her Chosen.

Hedda cracked her knuckles in a nervous gesture. She hoped that Shelen was okay…

"Don't do that. It's bad for your hands."

"If I needed a nanny I'd hire one, you brat."

"Oh ho? I have contacted Fyllis, Shelen experienced a bout of dizziness but is otherwise fine. It seems distance lessen the effects of their shared link."

"Thank goodness for that. What happened? How did we miss a man in green getting into the wagon?" Hedda crossed her arms and let her head fall slightly to one side.

"He's very quick on his feet?" Kris offered knowing that his sarcasm wasn't helpful and received a raised eyebrow for his efforts. "I honestly don't know. I wouldn't have noticed till that poor healer was flying out of the wagon if Foalalia hadn't screamed."

"Which reminds me, she must have known that Ashlen was delicate around men, why did she let him in the wagon in the first place?"

"She says she thought she could help keep him calm but when the man got to close Ashlen dropped out of her mind completely. She says it was like he suddenly didn't exist."

"It's worse than I thought. I need to talk to the Dean, are you alright with letting a stable hand un-tack you?" She gave her Companion a tired look and his blue eyes just smiled.

"It's fine dear one; if you're not there I just might be able to sucker them into giving me some extra sweet grain." He pranced away throwing his head in a laugh.

"You scamp, I hope you colic!" Hedda shook her fist after him in mock anger and he kicked up his heals are her in return. A bell like whinny sounding as he trotted off towards Companion Field.

Dean Aaron Defior was a kind hearted man who walked with a heavy limp. He'd broken his leg out on circuit and had been a long way from help. By the time aid had come his leg had started to heal wrong. Even though the healers did what they could he would always have that limp to remind him why people found shelter during thunderstorms in the mountains. He had been a friend of Hedda for a long time and he listened to her story with patient awareness. When she finished he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting his arms fall comfortably into his lap, as he processed everything his friend had told him.

"I see, yes it will be difficult for him but a Herald doesn't get to chose who they help so at best we can warn his class mates and hope that with some help and time to adjust he'll get over his phobia, at least to the point where he'll be able to do his duty."

"I'm glad you understand Ashlens' circumstances, Aaron." She said, visibly relaxing as she spoke.

"Oh I know better than most that even a handicapped Herald has a job here in Valdemar. Lack of sight is not as much of a problem either; there is one here at this castle that may be of more assistance to young Ashlen than we know. I'll talk to him and see what he'd be willing to do."

"Him? I told you, men..."

"I think Ashlen may have to make an exception for this one."

"All right, I'll leave that to you then." Hedda said as she rose from her chair. She began navigating her way back to the door through the sea for books and scrolls that were pilled here and there when Dean Defior spoke again.

"Hedda, I might warn you, that if Ashlens gifts prove to be too strong for him... they may be forced to seal his channels."

She paused with a hand on the doorknob and sighed. "I know."

"Well how is he doing?" Shelen asked the Healer trainee he'd cornered on his way back from his Logic lesson. He had been introduced to his new training schedule almost as soon as he stepped into the Collegium. He been had been dragged from here to there for two weeks before he had time to himself, in all that time he hadn't heard anything about his brother and Aunt Hedda had all but vanished. He thought about asking one of this teachers if they knew where her room was, as he had never actually visited her for she always rode out to his father's barony instead, but he felt awkward asking and so he just let it slide.

"Your... your brother?" stammered the surprised trainee.

"Yes, my brother. How is Ashlen?" he forced.

"Ah well, I don't really know, you should ask Debbie or Claudette, they would know since they are Healer Vauns' apprentices."

"Where can I find them?"

"Uh... I think I saw Debbie in the library last."

"Thanks." Shelen said, with a curt nod, before he walked away. Leaving the speechless healer trainee where he stood with his back against the wall.

The library was on the other side of the Collegium and up a few levels, really is was in the castle building but they connected hallways here and there so Shelen broke into a run as soon as he rounded the corner. He was more anxious for news of his brother than he would like to admit. Fyllis could only tell him so much and what she knew is what she got from Foalalia. "He's fine." She'd say or "The Healers are good at their jobs let them work." was another of her favorite replies. It was all well and good to trust others but Shelen was more the hands on sort. He had to see it for himself before he would really trust something. So as he entered the Library he searched for anyone in trainee healer greens, there were only two and one of them was male, so he made his way over to the young woman and tapped her on the shoulder where she was hunched over a thick herbal encyclopedia.

"Excuse me, are you Debbie?" he asked quietly

The young woman looked up at him, her green eyes set in a cheery face framed by wavy brown hair. She turned in her seat and let one hand move automatically to place a dried herb stem in the fold of the books pages, marking her spot.

"Yes, can I help you?" she said

"I should hope. My name is Shelen Hethlight, your teacher is caring for my brother."

"Ashlen? Yes, he is a fine young man."

"He's well then?"

"Yes, he's doing much better. If he continues to improve at the rate he's going he should be ready to join the rest of the Collegium by sometime next week. You should drop by and see him." She said all smiles. She wasn't lying, Shelen could tell.

"Tha.. Thanks." He stuttered. Debbie just smiled at him and only returned to her book once he had asked her a few more questions and walked away. He had to know how to get to his brothers room if he was going to see him. He had tried connecting with Ashlen the same way they had connected on the way to Haven, with a mind magic that he now knew was called Mindspeaking, but had been unsuccessful. He left the Library feeling a little more confident and headed for the healers wing, he had mathematics next, and he didn't mind skipping that particular class in the slightest.

Ashlen was sitting on his bed; he could feel the warm sunlight though the window of his room but he hated being here. He wanted to be out in the real sunlight, so that he could bathe his whole body in its warmth. The muscles in his legs were strong again now, but Healer Vaun insisted that he take it easy and only allowed him short walks in the corridor. He'd been listening though and he knew now where the door was that lead outside. He was planning an escape. It felt childish but he was tiered of only feeling stone and wood beneath his shoes. In fact he didn't even like wearing shoes. He had always gone bare-foot before coming to Haven, it made it easier to tell where he was or where he was going when he could really feel what was beneath him.

He listened for noises in the hallway and when it was apparent that no one was directly in the hall he stood. Placing the shoes they had given him on the foot of the bed. He walked to the door with ease, he knew his own room well enough by now that he had no problem navigating it at all. He opened the door and waited, listening, then strode out. Absently letting the fingertips of his left hand run on the wall, feeling them pass over each door as he walked. He counted the doors until he was certain he had come to the right one and turned the knob. It opened with a slight squeak and he immediately felt the soft breeze and the warmth of the sun on his face.

He tested the next few steps with his foot and found there was a short stair down to the grass. He stepped down carefully, making sure that each step was solid and would not cause him to slip. He let the door close behind him with a quiet thud, and set off for where he heard the loudest congregation of birds, such noises usually meant trees and he so wanted the quiet place that trees usually provided. He walked carefully, noting the texture of the grass and dirt beneath his feet. He would have to be able to find his way back to the door if this escapade went un-noticed. He stepped over a low hedge and shifted around a few large rose bushes before he arrive at the tree.

He felt the rough bark beneath his hand and sighed. There was a stone bench near the trunk, he felt it out. Smooth and well worn, he found the edge and sat, facing the tree and close his useless eyes. The birds above him chirped and sang, the wind rustled the leaves of the garden around him and he began drawing himself an imaginary map of the place, for it was indeed a garden and a well tended one at that.

Ashlen sat for a long time, his mind felt very at ease here, and eventually he drifted into a trance.

"Hey!" said a voice to his left, jolting him out of his quiet wanderings. He jumped to his feet and turned to face the voice. He felt a callused had wrapped its fingers around his wrist and felt his mind falling away. It was the same feeling he always got when a man touched him, he tried to shake the hand off but instead of letting go another hand grasped his and began shaking it up and down vigorously.

"You must be new, I don't recognize you!" said a feminine voice and the falling feeling stopped, almost immediately, and it made him a little dizzy. With his composure returned he pulled his hand away and backed up a step, feeling the stone of the bench press into the back of his leg and the cool shaded grass sink beneath his bare feet.

"Well then? Whats you're name fella? Ain't you got one?" She was rough sounding but she was definitely female.

"My name…' he paused, his throat was a little soar. He hadn't done much talking in these last few weeks. He only mind spoke with Foalalia and the rest of his visitors didn't ask many questions that needed more than a head bob to answer. "..my name is Ashlen. Ashlen Hethlight."

"Ashlen? Then that fellow Shelen's your brother, make sense I guess since you have the same face and you're in trainee grays to boot. Guess I should have known that hu?" She sounded disappointed.

"What?" he said somehow disappointed by her disappointment, he must have made a face because she giggled then.

"Ah don't worry; I get along with just about everybody, your brothers just a bit of a snob that's all. Haha… oh, I prolly should have kept that to myself eh?"

Ashlen felt himself blink, twice. She was an odd one wasn't she. The corner of his mouth twitched, he lifted a hand to his face and felt with his fingers the slight smile that was developing there.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet ya!" the girl said, he heard fabric shuffling and realized she had offered him her hand this time, instead of just grabbing for his. He let his hand fall from his face to his side, and then stretched it out toward the source of her voice tentatively. She grasped his hand roughly and again shook it vigorously once again.

"Very nice to meet ya! My name is Tania!"

-End Chapter 4-