Hey guys. It's been a while since I last updated so before we start the chapter , there will not be any more POV from Emmett for a while it's really hard to write him right now , but if you guys think differently then I'll change it , so let me know.

Can Time Heal All Wounds?

I walked downstairs to meet my father for dinner, shaking away the though that someone was watching me out of my window. As i reached the main floor of the house i could smell the aroma from the pasta surround me and the smell of the backing garlic bread sent my stomach rumbling, i totally forgot that i hadn't really eaten anything in the last twelve hours or so.

"Dinner smells great dad." I said as i walked into the warm kitchen and see my dad making my plate.

" I hope you hungry." He said with a smile running his hand through his hair.

" I'm starved." I told him as i curled up into one of the kitchen.

I waited until he was seated before i started to eat. I moaned out loud at the first bite, the food was as amazing as remembered it. My dad smirked at me as he heard me.

We ate in silence for the most part just enjoying each others company before I remembered that i wanted to ask him about the lock attic door.

" Hey dad, can I ask you something?" I asked him after i took a swig of water from my glass.

" Of course you can." He said as he put down his fork and gave me his full attention. " Is there something wrong with the food?"

" No the food is amazing." I told him with a small smile. " I was exploring a little and saw the stairs to the attic so i decided to check it out, but when i go there the door felt like it was bolted shut. Whats in the there?"

He frowned a little as i asked my question and sent me a small smile as he answered me.

"There's nothing up there really, just some old stuff of your grandmothers." He said to me. "I rather if you didn't go up there again please."

I was a little taken back at his answer. I mean what the hell was in there that could be so important.

"It's just that its structure is a little unstable up there and i don't want you to get hurt is all." He said after he saw my facial expression.

I nodded in understanding and decided to drop it for now, for the sake if not angering another parent. I finished my meal quickly and excused myself from the table to head to bed as i had school the next morning.

After a quick hug from my dad and a goodnight, i headed upstairs to my new room. As i passed the stairs to the attic, i couldn't help but feel a pull to go up there and check things out. But listening to my dad, i left it alone and headed to bed forgetting about the attic for now.

Waking up in the morning was the hardest thing that I ever had to do. I didn't have the strength to face all those people who would no doubt want to know all about the new kid at school. I'm not a big fan of people who like to gossip about other people , and I've have better things to do with my time then talk about other people's problems.

I have a shitload of my own.

Sighing I rolled out of bed relishing the warmth of the carpet underneath my feet before i slip on my tan moccasins. I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table to see it was about 7 o'clock in the morning and I briefly wondered if my dad was still home.

Still dressed in my night wear, which only consisted of a large sweater and tight black shorts, I make my down stairs, while sparing a glance up the attic stairs.

As I walked down the stairs I called out for my dad to see if he was home, without getting a answer I continued on into the kitchen to grab something to drink before I got ready to go to school. As I went to grab the orange juice from the fridge i noticed a note on the door.

Alec,

Had to run into the office earlier then I thought I would.

I'm going to be working late today so have a great day at school,

Love you,

Dad

That was nice of him, I thought to myself. The only notes I was used to getting from my mom were ones like clean the kitchen or clean her room. It was a nice change from the norm. I took the note from the fridge and place it on the counter as i grab the OJ and a glass from the cabinet.

After drinking my juice i cleaned everything up and proceed to make my way upstairs to get ready when I finally make it into the bathroom I make sure to turn the radio as I started my morning ritual. I grabbed my bathroom stuff and place it on the counter and i pulled out my body wash, which smelled like coconut and my shampoo. I also grabbed my razor and shaving cream, I hated having facial hair so I make sure to shave frequently.

After i make sure I have everything I quickly shed my clothes and stepped into the shower. Turning the shower to full blast, I immersed under the hot stream of water, I sighed as the water hit my body. Who would have thought the spray of hot water would be so relaxing to my senses, I could feel my muscles relaxing under the water pressure. It felt like all the emotions I had harbored were being lifted.

It was complete bliss

As I showered I thought about all that happened yesterday.

I was extremely glad to be living with my dad again, I forgot how much I missed him. It was a little weird how he acted when I asked him about the attic and what was up there. Then there was the fact that i could have sworn that I saw someone outside my window when I had woken up from my nap yesterday. It was there one minute and gone the next, but for someone reason I wasn't afraid. What ever it was didn't feel threatening at all.

What the hell was it.

When the water started to grow cold, I shut off the water and I jumped out of the shower. I grabbed my towel off the bathroom sink and proceed to dry off. I started to grab my razor to shave when i saw my reflection staring back at me in the mirror.

I still couldn't look at myself with cringing, I couldn't stand to look at myself sometime, all i saw was a weak person, who didn't deserve to live. I was hard to not to think about all the things my mother used to say to me, it was hard to not to take everything that said to heart.

"I can't stand to look at you, disgusting piece of filth"

"You don't deserve to live"

"How can you stand there and think what you are is normal"

"Who would love a FREAK like you?"

I came out of my trance to realize that I was sobbing on the bathroom floor. I felt disgusting, worthless and so alone. How could someone not look at me and see how broken I was.

Sometimes I wondered what people see when they look at me , how can you not look at me and see how much I'm hurting. I tried to hide it the best I could but even I can't be that strong all the time.

The phrase time heals all wounds is a lie. Not even time can erase the pains of the heart or the mind. I'm living proof that time makes things harder not easier. After all this time how can the pain feel as fresh as the day it happened? It still feels like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest and threw it away.

It's not worth going through life knowing the scars on your skin and heart will eventually drive away everyone from your life? Is it really worth fighting for?

Is it worth putting up with the abuse, ridicule and shame that is place on me day after day?

Moving to Forks was supposed to take me away from my pain. But yet all I feel is ….

That's the thing I don't feel anything, I feel like there's nothing there. It was like i was just going through the motions of being human.

I would give anything to feel something, anything would be better than walking around like the undead. They say our emotions are what make us human, I guess I'm lacking in that department.

I grabbed my razor off the bathroom sink and brought it down to where i was on the floor.

As I turned the razor over in my mind, i thought about how easy it would be to end it all and take away all the pain that I held in my heart and in my mind.

If i did it right i could make it look like an accident and no one would have to be burden with me anymore. My dad could move on with his life and mother would finally be happy.

I dropped the razor on the floor and moved away from it. I wouldn't be weak; I couldn't let this break me.

It won't break me

I threw the razor in to toilet and flushed it.

I almost started crying knowing I just threw away my only way out of this cruel world. I thought about how this would affect my stay in Forks. I couldn't be this person, I needed to be stronger.

Getting up from the bathroom floor, I made my way to my room to get dressed for school.

I walked in my closet and tried to figure out what I wanted to wear on my first day of school. Since I and just decided to become a different and stronger, I thought i would at least try to make a goof first impression on the students of Forks High. I chose my favorite pair of black skinny levi jeans. They weren't to tight but they also had these rips in the knees that give them a kind of rocker look. I grabbed one of my baggy white v-neck t shirts, I also picked out a long black cardigan and a pair of black Steve Madden boots.I picked out a pair black trunks and proceed to get dressed.

After I finished getting dressed I had to figure what to do with with my hair. My hair was a little past my shoulders and had really thick curls. After a few minutes of internal debate i just threw it up in a messy bun on in the back of head.

I glanced at the clock on my night stand and saw that it was already almost 8 o'clock. I was running so late, I grabbed my phone and wallet and hurried out my room. I happened to glance in the mirror on my way out of my room.

"Damn I look good" I thought out loud.

Making my way downstairs I stopped in the kitchen to grab an apple from the kitchen counter. I would need to go food shopping as I saw that the fridge was poorly stocked. As I made my way out the door I stopped to grab my raincoat as it was drizzling outside.

I turned to start walking in the direction of the school when I noticed a car in the driveway.

Since I knew David wasn't home, I walked up to the black Ford Explorer and noticed that not only was the doors unlocked but there was a letter on the driver's seat.

I opened the car door and grabbed the letter and opened it.

Dear Alec,

I thought you could use this, if only not to get your hair wet.

-Dad

I couldn't hold it in. I started jumping up and down screaming my head off. I couldn't believe he got me car this was the best thing anyone could have gave me.

Getting into MY car, I backed out of the drive way I started towards my new school. The school wasn't hard to find, as it was off the only main road in Forks, I pulled into a spot in front of the school. I couldn't help but noticed that this school looked a lot friendlier then my old school, but seeing all the students that were milling around staring at my car was a little bit unnerving.

I really hoped I would like it here.

A/N edited on 02/28/15