Sorry that this has taken a while to update, I had it written out but I was too lazy to type. Thank you so much to the people who have reviewed, I like to know what people think!

Warning: may contain some adult themes 0.0

All right, enjoy my randomness!

"So just who is your cousin Colonel? I've never heard you speak of her before." Riza asked Roy when they were alone.

"Cousin? I have…a cousin?" Roy asked. "Oh, yeah. Hehe, long story!"

"We have time." Riza replied serenely.

Oh, crap! What will I say! "Ummm…right. I've never talked about her before because my Aunt was kidnapped many years ago while she was pregnant. So she had Edesina while imprisoned and the two have only just been released." Roy said, warming to his tall tale. "Yeah, you see they struggled valiantly to survive…"

"Ok, I get it now." Riza lied to shut him up. What an idiot! Does he really think that I would believe him? Humph, men! Fine, just to show him, I'll do some investigating. And with that, Riza turned and walked away. Suddenly she stopped and turned around. "Stop undressing me with your eyes or imagining me in one of your miniskirts!"

Looking like he'd been slapped, Roy stood there stupidly as Riza walked away with a smug look on her face. Eventually, he turned and walked back to his office but didn't quite make it.

"Why do you have a suitcase Havoc?" Roy asked at the sight of a depressed looking Havoc.

"I have a suitcase because… I'm running away to New York to become a man-whore, because THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT I'LL EVER GET A GIRL!" Havoc yelled and ran off.

"New York? Where the hell is that?" Roy wondered as he watched Havoc run off.

Now, since New York doesn't exist in Amestris…Havoc ended up stuck living in the desert until he finally returned to Central claiming that God had spoken to him. Of course, that delusion lasted about an hour and ended when Roy slapped him in the face and he was partially (Note: I said partially not completely) returned to his senses. (A/N: Havoc's return transpires precisely 5 years after this story and, as such, can't fully be elaborated on at this time, thank you and have a nice day! P)

Random Café

"So, what's it like to be Colonel Mustang's cousin?" Falman asked, drooling into his tea.

"Sheer hell! He's ooh so temperamental. At family gatherings, he would always manage to light someone on fire! He was such a little arsonist, still is! Oh, and he's had that miniskirt fetish-"and here Ed paused and lowered his voice"-since he was three!"

"Wow!" Falman gasped, shocked. How pathetic! He thought, amused. "You poor dear to be related to such a troublemaker!" Falman sympathized.

How can Falman buy this crap? Well. I am talking about Roy here and it is believable that he's been obsessed with miniskirts from a young age. Ed thought, amused.

"Hmmm…I wonder what happened to Fullmetal? He hasn't shown up yet this week."Falman wondered idly, "maybe the shrimp got stuck in a mouse hole! Oh, is something wrong?" He asked as he noticed that Edesina's face had turned bright red with anger.

Grr…they call me short behind my back! KILL! Oh, wait…damn! I can't kill him now, not until the week is over! Argh, I WILL have my revenge! Mwuhaha! Ed thought furiously while trying to keep his hands from strangling the unsuspecting fool in front of him.

"Oh, I'm fine! I just don't know who Fullmetal is." Ed said, struggling to calm down.

"It doesn't matter, the shrimp is annoying," Falman said flippantly. Why'd she look so angry when I called Ed a shrimp?...Wait a second! Ed…Edesina, what kind of a coincidence is that? But, Fullmetal would never dress like a girl! Or would he, maybe he is weird enough to do that! Hmm..All right then, time to investigate! With this thought, Falman knocked a fork off the table 'accidentally'. He then quickly dived under the table and peeked up Edesina's skirt. His face red, he quickly looked away.

"What are you doing?" An enraged female voice asked him.

"I'm sorry! I was just getting this fork from under the table and I glanced…" Falman's voice trailed off. I can't believe I suspected her of being Ed! From my, ahem, observation, she can only be classified as a girl!

Did he just look under my skirt! Does he know I'm not a girl now? Ed wondered, worried. Quickly, he flounced out of his chair and walked away, pretending to be furious at such an indignation.

"Wait! Edesina, I'm sorry! I thought, wrongly, that you might be a guy I know dressed like a girl, but you quite obviously aren't! You're quite obviously a girl!" Falman said, running after Edesina, hoping to make amends.

Quite obviously a GIRL! Argh…I'm not that small! Ed thought, extremely insulted.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that this is going to work! I'm going back to headquarters, sorry!" Ed said and ran off, leaving a very depressed Falman behind.

That's all for now! But if you want more: Message me with any ideas for where Ed and Fuery can go! I need your help! Thanks for reading!