Author's Note: Again, late update. XP Sorry guys. It's been a really tough month. I just moved overseas, and I had to leave the most important person in my life doing so. We're both going to be okay, but this Christmas was a bit difficult. XP I'll stop the RPM-angst and get back to the Kataang-angst now. .'' THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! Wow. This is only the 2nd chapter-fanfic I've finished out of…what? 76? XD
Disclaimer: -.- Yeah, yeah. I don't own 'im. This is the last chapter, anyway. You can relax…And you can take away those copyright-violated-thingy-ma-jiggers now. (glares at lawyers)
Chapter Four:
Air
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Aang POV
There was a smoldering, open sore on my heart. And whenever I looked at her, it was like pouring vinegar onto it.
It has been exactly twenty-four hours since the robbers came to our camp, and exactly twelve hours since we set out on Appa.
We decided to leave the cave as soon as light came in case the robbers chose to bring back a larger band of their brethren to bother us. Katara kept her distance from me. I didn't expect any more from her, but it hurt me still. I've seen her look at me with what looked like sympathy and understanding. Why? How can she possibly bare to look at me? She says that she doesn't hold me against what I've done. Why? How can she possibly forgive me so easily?
It has been exactly three hours since I decided to leave my friends, my family, and save the world on my own, and exactly three hours since we landed in a small clearing in the dense forest; the perfect time for me to do so.
…
…
…
Then why haven't I left?
…
…
…
Because of what happened exactly two hours ago.
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Katara's POV
I sat, my legs crossed, on Appa's back. Sokka had suggested a while ago that we start looking for a place to sleep. As expected, Aang had been silent for the entire flight. Sokka, oblivious to what exactly happened the night before, took it as his being angry that the robbers tried to capture Appa again. Toph and I were the only ones, other than Aang, of course, that knew. We girls agreed that it would be best if Sokka didn't hear the whole story.
I can't stand his silence. What if he decides to up and leave so that he won't be a danger to us? That sounds like something that he would think after an incident like that. I had dreaded that he would try it before we woke up in the morning; that's why I had to talk to him, explain to him that I didn't blame him for what happened. I hoped against all hope that he would believe me and stay. I cannot describe the relief I felt when I saw him quietly making the breakfast fire when I woke at dawn.
I twirled a piece of my hair that had wriggled loose from my braid around my finger. Why couldn't Aang accept that I have already accepted that there were risks involved with hanging around the Avatar?
I sighed. I already knew the answer to that question.
Of course, I hated when he was in the Avatar state. It both scared and disgusted me. It disgusted more than scared me, though, because when Aang goes into the Avatar state, he isn't himself. He isn't my funny, smart, wonderful friend anymore. He becomes something not human, something with no hopes, fears, emotion…Something that can't distinguish friend from foe. Something that didn't care if it hurt me. I can't stand him like that. It's like a looming dark cloud above his head; it is such a burden to him. His shoulders are strong, but that kind of weight is unfair to anyone to bear.
I know Aang will be able to save the world. He has the right heart for it. He is a good person; empathetic. He hates to harm anyone, but he has a strong sense of justice. But I've been wondering…does he really need his Avatar state to save us? He's a powerful Bender, already a master of water and air, and will soon be an extremely impressive Earthbender. Fire…well, he just needs to learn how to control that kind of Bending. Being so apt in all Bending is enough to influence most people, so what is the point of taking away his humanity in the process?
Gah, what am I thinking? I scolded to myself. There will always be a Waterbender, an Airbender, an Earthbender, and a Firebender that will be more powerful than he. And even if he was the best Bender in the world, he wouldn't be a match to an army. Only in the Avatar state does he have that kind of strength.
But…every time he goes into the Avatar state, I get this horrible feeling. A fear that makes me sick to my stomach:
What if he never comes out of it?
Finally we found a small clearing in the middle of the dense forest. The sun was just starting to go down. Appa was able to land easily among the lush trees. Grunting, he kneeled down to let everyone down. Aang quickly grabbed the bags and glided to the ground, still saying nothing. I swore underneath my breath as I jumped down. I'm fine! I wanted to scream at him. I was able to heal myself! No lasting damage, see? STOP BEING SO DEPRESSED!
But instead I ran up and grabbed two of the bags from Aang's hand, barely brushing his skin with my fingertips. When his head jerked up and his eyes met mine for the first time since last night, I let a gentle, warm smile soften my expression. I heard his breath catch, and he looked away. The moment was barely half a second long, but it was enough to nearly rip my heartstrings.
I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I tensed and looked over my shoulder to see Toph, staring just above my head.
"Just keep an eye on him," she said with a bleak smirk. "He'll come around eventually."
My shoulders slumped and I looked after Aang, who was already mechanically setting up camp with Sokka.
"I know his hates himself for hurting me, and I know I can't do anything about it," I said mournfully. "And I don't know if he can forgive himself. He's always been hard on himself. I just wish I could help him…" Toph said nothing else, only giving a half-hearted smile and sympathetically squeezing my shoulder before walking off to help set up camp. I opened one of the bags I was carrying and saw it as the one with Toph's old clothes from Ba Sing Se. A strange notion came in to my head. Closing it, I squared my shoulders and walked purposely into camp with a new strategy bubbling in mind.
"I'll start the fire tonight, guys," I said, dropping off the bag of iron pots and pans right in front of Aang with a resounding clash. I saw him jump and look at me with confusion. "Toph, can you help me get some wood?" I then flashed Aang a sadistic smirk and walked off into the forest with Toph, the other bag in my hand.
No more Miss Sympathy Girl.
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Aang's POV
I had it all planned in my head. Sokka was taking last guard-shift tonight, and he always slept on duty. I would pack up enough to get along on my own, but not enough in inconvenience my friends. I could survive a hundred years alone. I could do it again if I had to.
I kept my distance from Katara and the rest of the group. I didn't even pet Momo when he dropped a fruit into my lap this morning. He looked very put-out, but I couldn't help it. It was like my soul was somewhere else, disappeared. I had to get out of there. I couldn't bear to hurt another friend. So I decided, as we flew of the trees, that I would leave. Tonight.
There was only one problem.
Katara seemed to be reading my thoughts. Maybe I was being too paranoid, but I have this feeling that she knows I'm going to run away. I just hope she doesn't guess it'll be tonight. I don't think I could handle her trying to stop me in the middle of the night. She keeps giving me these heartbreakingly sweet and sympathetic looks, even from the distance she kept. I can't stand it. Why did she have to be so…so…forgiving?
I swore underneath my breath when I jumped down off of Appa once we landed, taking nearly all the bags with me without thinking. The next thing I knew, a soft hand was taking two of the bags out of mine. I instinctively looked up into Katara's eyes. Have I ever told you about Katara's eyes? They changed color, from bright sky blue, to the smokiest grey, to a deep, passionate sapphire. Right now they were a dull azure, and filled with compassion, and the slightest bit of heartache. It felt like two iron hands had taken hold of my throat and heart, constricting both simultaneously. I looked away, not able to face her with tears forming in my eyes. Both her touch and her look was enough to convince me that this was for the best. I had to leave.
I love Katara too much.
As I miserably helped Sokka pitch the tents, I forced my mind into a meditative blank. At least then I could concentrate on what I was doing and not Katara. Sokka, unfortunately, caught the gloom in my face and decided to give a few comforting words.
"You know, Appa is a great flying bison. Best I've ever met, in fact," he said solemnly. "You're lucky you have him. He cares a lot about you, and of course you care a lot about him. It's not your fault that he was hurt. There were a lot of robbers; you had no control over it."
"You're right," I said, trying to keep my expression neutral. "I had no control."
"I knew you would understand," Sokka said cheerfully. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you know?" I shrugged, continuing the process of nailing in stakes into the ground for the tents.
I looked over my shoulder, just to see where Katara was. She was talking with Toph. I gritted my teeth. I knew that Toph knew what happened. What were they talking about? Me, no doubt.
What is so secret between them that they decide not to share it with me? I wondered. What opinion of theirs is too much for me to hear?
"Girls," Sokka unknowingly sympathized. "They think the company of men os below them." I didn't bother to correct him.
Curse the stars, the sun, and the moon. Why won't this sour feeling in my stomach go AWAY? I want to rip my hair out, I'm so frustrated!!!
…
Oh. Right.
But as I grumbled to myself, I didn't notice Katara walking up to me. I did notice, however, when she dropped the bag of metal cooking supplies right in front of me with a deafening CRASH. Startled, and a little scared, I looked up at her.
"What---?"
"I'll start the fire tonight, guys," she said briskly, a strange fire in her eyes, which had turned a bright blue-green. She turned sharply towards Toph, who was feeding Appa and Momo. "Toph, can you help me get some wood?" She turned back to me and gave me what looked like an evil grin.
Toph looked almost as confused as I probably was as she followed Katara into the woods. Sokka and I exchanged a look.
"What's gotten into her?" Sokka asked, one eyebrow rising as he continued setting up his tent; with difficulty. I just shrugged and kept setting up camp.
After about twenty minutes, the two of us were beginning to get worried.
"How long does it take to gather firewood?" I muttered anxiously, a thousand frightening scenarios passing through my mind's eye. Sokka assured me that they were probably fooling around, or they had gotten into an argument of epic proportions about twigs. I sighed in reluctant agreement, standing to attend Appa, who wasn't fed completely by Toph.
Nevertheless, I was concerned. It didn't take 20 minutes to gather firewood! I mean, 10 minutes, maybe, if you can't find good, dry specimens, but nearly half an hour of—
…
(Is mentally choking)
…
(Finally gains control)
…
If my eyes buggered out any further, they would have fallen out.
Katara, my friend, my crush, essentially the girl I loved, just froze my entire body and set it on fire in about the same time. Walking out of the woods with Toph, she turned to face me.
She was…gorgeous. Her body was draped in a fire-red silk (somewhere in my mind I remembered the market in Omashu), each curve emphasized by the way the cloth clung to her form. Her dark, lean legs were exposed to mid-thigh by slits along the sides of the dress. The sleeves drooped to expose her shoulders. The heart-shaped neckline delicately dropped to…
…
WHEN THE HELL DID SHE GROW THOSE?
Jerking my eyes away from her…er…chest, I looked at her face. I could feel my whole body burning. Her hair was loose, pinned a little so that wisps of it framed her face invitingly. Her eyes were darkly outlined with kohl and her lips painted a vibrant red. Her eyes were sparking.
"Katara…?" Sokka started, standing up abruptly. Toph, who had been smirking mysteriously behind Katara, ran to Sokka and pulled him towards the woods.
"I'll explain," she muttered into his ear as she dragged him out of sight.
We were alone.
My mind exploded in panic as Katara moved toward me in a frighteningly un-Katara-like way. Her hips swayed hypnotically, gracefully, as if she were a jungle cat stalking its prey. She stopped right in front of me, leaning dangerously close. I was only an inch or two shorter than her, but it felt like she was equal to my eyes.
To my lips.
My collar was becoming uncomfortably constricting…as were my pants.
"Katara, what are you doing?" I finally choked out.
She said nothing, only placing a soft hand on my lips to silence me. It then moved to my cheek, gently caressing it. She had frozen me with her eyes, which had turned a deep, dark blue. A strange emotion was hidden deep in those eyes. My breath was coming short and fast, but I could move away from her smoldering presence. Both her hands were moving from my neck down to my chest, then to my arms. Taking my hand, she brought it to her lips, and kissed it. It burned into my skin.
She obviously knew what she was doing, even though I didn't.
Was this my Katara?
For some reason, although this whole thing; the way she was dressed, the way she moved, the way she touched my face, was so unfamiliar, and more than a tad frightening, it seemed that it was just another part of her. She wasn't another person, and yet she was.
Suddenly, she backed away, her eyes indescribably hard. Cold fear washed over me. What did I do?
"I'm done with this," she hissed, her eyes never leaving mine. "I'm done with acting like I pity you. Because I don't. Not anymore. You're not leaving. I love you, Aang. And Avatar or not, there's nothing you can do about it."
And with that, she grabbed me by the shoulders, and with a strength that took me off-guard, she pressed me into her, lips first. A startled 'oomph' was all I could say as she caught my mouth in hers.
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Katara's POV
A triumphant noise resounded in my mind when I felt Aang beginning to kiss back. I had one motive in my mind, and it wasn't going to be soft. As soon as I felt Aang responding to my lips, I dove deeper, more passionately. He willingly acquiesced. Strange, I remembered him being shorter when we kissed in that cave in Omashu. Of course, he had gained a good foot of height from that time, not to mention this time it was a LOT more involved.
One hand vehemently pulling his neck down, the other found the small of his back. I pressed closer to Aang. A need, both physical and mental, rang throughout my being. I clung to him like a drowning person to a log.
I felt like I could cry with unspoken emotion when Aang wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me even more into him. His lips felt soft on mine at first, gentle, as if he was afraid to break me. But as I encouraged him to let out his feelings, his passion matched mine. I felt my soul soaring with his as we kissed.
He won't leave me.
Finally we parted. My hands moved down from his neck, so that they lightly held onto his upper arms. I saw him swallow uneasily, the conflicting emotions obvious in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Katara," he said in a whisper cracked with emotion. Abruptly his eyes filled with tears. "I…I can't believe I hurt you. I can't believe I'd leave you, either." His jaw clenched; he was obviously holding back tears. My chest tight with compassion, I took him into my arms again and held him as he sobbed, his tears cleansing all the hurt, the grief, the anger in his spirit.
Aang was a fragile person. He was never naïve, only innocent. The cruel, twisted world made him like this, Destiny sending him in the middle of it, expecting him to fix things. It was unfair, it was cruel. I knew he had the strength to save the world, but I can't let him do it without me.
In that moment, I could feel Aang. Just him. Not the connections with the world, spirit or mortal; just a boy who had stolen my heart and had given his in return. It was both strange and comforting.
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Aang's POV
In the place where time didn't exist, I could feel Katara. I didn't just feel her holding my body, but I felt her holding my heart, protecting it. Somewhere, at some point, I felt the Avatar, all my past lives, silently and respectfully leave me. I knew they would be back, but now it was just me. Me and Katara. Now I was myself, not the Avatar, or even a mixture of both. It was then that I found my identity.
Aang was a separate person from the Avatar. He was a thirteen-year-old with hopes and dreams, and love. Aang was no one, however, without his Katara.
In that span of time, I wondered if any other of my past lives realized that.
And, for some reason, I knew the answer was no.
The moment slowly drifted away, leading us both gently back to reality. I let out a breath and carefully pulled away from Katara. Looking into her eyes, the strange emotion suddenly became identifiable. I found myself, my heart, reflected in Katara's beautiful, clear eyes.
And my soul soared.
I won't leave her.
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Author's Note: I'm DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!! (does happy dance) Finally!!!!!!! Wow. I'm done. I'm so happy! XD
I want to thank all ye faithful reviewers, but there is that one person I want to specifically thank. That one person who inspired me, who allowed me to understand what love was; who made my heart soar and allowed me to finally find my identity.
Dylan, this one was for you.