Warning: Crack, OOC-ness is MANDATORY. Ichiru's alive and looks exactly like Zero. E-X-A-C-T-L-Y alike. Coz I love the twins.
Disclaimer: Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.
Beta: Her Little Doll
The Twincestic Twins Follies: The Birth of Venus
"Studies have proven when a person folds his arms, not only has he negative thoughts about the other person, he is also paying not much attention to what is being said," a female voice sliced his eardrums, her melodious timbre resounding off of his internal walls.
Zero exhaled, dragged his gaze away from a huge The Birth of Venus by Cabanel hanging from a wall to scrutinize the person who had broken his reverie. The painting, without a doubt was a reproduction, a prized possession of the light-haired woman in her late-twenties sitting behind a desk before him. Yes, he, the school prefect, Kiriyu Zero had been called to see the school-level equivalent of a shrink and so far, he had wasted twenty-seven precious minutes in her office.
He gave her a noncommittal shrug. "Should I be pinning my ears back?" He spoke in a low but neutral tone, careful not to let his irritation slip into his voice. His body language however, took on a harder edge because she was studying him with her sharp green eyes- like a predator.
"Ah, so you have not been listening after all," the woman smiled at him. "We will get to that once Ichiru-kun is here. The matter at hand requires the both of you present." Fujisaki Chigusa was pretty, petite and a rather cheerful woman admired by almost three thirds of the male school population- which came as not much of a surprise since Cross Academy was sort of short on female teachers. Her reputation however, was a whole different story.
Rumour had it that she specialized in straightening out the most crooked misfits with her off-beat, unconventional counseling methods. She reminded him of Cross Kaien, his adoptive father with that wide, overly-kind smile plastered on her face. There was something about her that made him feel uneasy so Zero pretended that he hadn't heard her and continued to stare at the copy of the well known piece of art.
He let his eyes trail over the figure of a nude, flame-haired woman- Venus- lying provocatively, basking on a bed of barely visible rocks under a divinely clear blue sky. She was surrounded by tastefully painted ocean waves while a group of five angelic cherubs hovered lovingly above her. The image was purely erotic but cleverly masked in mythology, enchantingly beautiful, yet blatantly bathed in sexuality. He was looking at a piece of older-than-your-great-grandfather pornographic material in the guise of a masterpiece. Well, they hadn't had magazines in those days.
Usually Zero kept an open mind but at that moment, he could not help but disapprove of its placement in an academic institution, specifically a room where consultations took place. There was no way students would pay attention to whatever things the counselor had to offer when they could ogle that naked female.
He frowned and finally looked away.
However, a sly, upturned curve of the counselor's lips was a tell-tale sign that she had gotten the wrong impression- that he was acting like a typical teenage boy who had just seen more than a glimpse of a girl's pink, strawberry-printed panties.
"Do you find it fascinating?" she asked.
"What?" Zero asked dryly.
"The painting. You've been staring at it for quite some time," she grinned knowingly.
"Yes, I was wondering if I should set it on fire or resize it with a box-cutter," he drawled, enjoying the alarmed gasp she emitted. He was serious though.
"You don't appreciate the female form?"
"What does that have to do with this meeting?" he evaded the question and decided that he didn't like her at all.
"Usually, boys would be drooling at it by now. You are not behaving like a typical teenager," the counselor stared creepily at him. "Aren't you curious?"
"Not at all," Zero replied, realizing there was no way she would let it go. There was nothing typical about him but he could not be bothered to explain. The counselor on the other hand had her psycho-motors up and running.
"Hmm... Alarming. How about I provide you with some reading materials?" The way she was smirking at him was terribly suspicious.
However, before she could open her mouth further, there was a sound knock on the door.
"Hah, I'm late." Ichiru stepped into the small office with a cheery smile plastered on his face. "Getting here was a bit tricky," he added. Judging from the latter's disheveled, wind-blown hair, the rumbling footsteps and the rising squeals of excitement coming towards that section of the school building, Ichiru had just outran a group of his fan girls.
Yes, Kiriyu Ichiru had a group of female admirers chasing after him all around the school compound nowadays which makes Zero's life as his brother, more specifically his twin brother, a living hell.
The counselor smiled, her gaze shifted from Zero to Ichiru and back to Zero again. Without a doubt, she was assessing them.
"It is fine, Ichiru-kun. Please sit down by Kiriyu while I get something," she said as rose from her chair, straightened skirt and moved towards a steel filing cabinet by the window.
She had referred Zero using his last name, Kiriyu and Ichiru as Ichiru-kun which means, between the two of them, he was in charge. Zero almost smirked in triumph but he chose not to since it was always unwise to let Ichiru know anything lest it be exploited and manipulated into blackmail material. Besides, Ichiru had never cared about the twin power-struggle as much as Zero did.
Ichiru cocked his head to one side and raised a questioning eyebrow at him which he returned with a disdainful snort.
"Are we in trouble?" Ichiru asked while he took a seat in a padded chair on Zero's left.
"You might want to rephrase that. Are you in trouble? I did nothing wrong," Zero uncrossed his arms so that he could massage his throbbing head.
Seeing Zero's exasperation, Ichiru smiled mischievously and leaned in, "Let me guess, you shot somebody."
"If that is the case, you would have been handed an execution list with my name on it by now," Zero sneered, shoving Ichiru away from him. Ichiru had been so close that Zero could smell peppermint chewing gum in the former's breath. Brother or not, it was breaching his personal space and Zero always guarded his space jealously.
"Whatever, if we are here, we are in trouble." Ichiru combed back his hair with his fingers and sighed.
"Trouble is not exactly the word that best describes your current situation, boys." The counselor had returned to her seat after handing them each a yellow manila folder. Apparently, she had overheard.
Zero stared at the pocket-styled folder, opened it and found pieces of colourful images printed on glossy paper. He realized that they were photographs. Zero's eyes grew wide as he sifted through them.
Seeing Zero's reaction, Ichiru opened his only to find sets of stapled printed material. He was about to read a page when Zero thrust a picture into his hands. So Ichiru closed his folder, placed it on his lap and looked at the 4R sized photo.
It was a picture of them in the cafeteria; Ichiru was caught nudging a sleeping Zero during lunch break. "Aww, Zero looks so cute; I actually like this one. Are you giving this to us, sensei?"
"Not exactly. I paid good money for that so it's mine," she dismissed darkly while eyeing Zero who was still looking at the stack photographs in quiet disbelief.
"Paid?" Ichiru perked but Zero nudged him roughly, giving him an annoyed look.
"Somebody should get a new hobby," Zero remarked dryly as he handed the stack to Ichiru.
There were at least three dozen shots of them in the classroom, guarding the students and even of them coming and leaving the school grounds.
Ichiru looked at every each of them and chuckled good-naturedly. "The girls must have taken them as keepsakes, kawaii."
In the end, Zero huffed and showed him the final one showing them changing, shirtless and drenched in sweat. They must have had one of their occasional arguments because both of them were staring heatedly at one another. However, in a third-party point of view, those stares could be easily misperceived as something else.
Zero rolled his eyes and mumbled gravely to Ichiru, not loud enough for the counselor to hear, "A girl can't get into the boys'locker room, idiot. I can't believe there's a stalker tailing after us with a damn camera. This is your entire fault, being frivolous, attracting attention and all when I clearly told you to quit it."
He could tell that the counselor was straining hard to eavesdrop. Her behaviour was creepy; Zero disliked her even more.
"Ara, this was after gym class, you almost socked me for nicking your boxers," Ichiru evaded Zero's accusation by faking a fascinated smile and snatched the picture from Zero's hand. "Being twins is amazing; we should swap for a day and see if anybody can tell us apart, ne, Zero?"
"Tch, focus on the stalker problem," replied Zero through gritted teeth.
He grabbed the photos from Ichiru and stuffed them back into the folder. Then he folded his arms once more and glared at the counselor. Ichiru was right; they really looked alike. A crazy vampire bitch had been kind enough to turn them both into Level-Ds and not to mention, an oldhunter-master of his had been thoughtful enough to give Ichiru the exact same tattoo and piercings to make them look like carbon-copies of each other.
"I called the two of you today because of those pictures. However, there is more," she smiled and then pointed at the folder lying on Ichiru's lap. "Please take a look at those printouts too."
Ichiru took a three paged set of A4 sized print outs and read the contents out loud. "Double Debauchery by Kawai-Fifi4eva. The hand around Ichiru slipped into his linen shirt and circled his slim waist. 'No, wait Zero!' Ichiru pleaded. 'Don't make me wait anymore,' replied his mirror-image as he traced his lips against his twin's collarbone, his lips..." Ichiru stopped and beamed when he saw Zero's blank face. It was as pale as sheet, as if the elder twin's blood had been completely sucked dry.
"Somebody, shoot me," Ichiru heard Zero murmur under his breath.
"Eh, don't be such a prude Zero. This is interesting stuff- why don't I read you another one?" Ichiru cleared his throat, picked out another sheet of paper and read, "Disclaimer, I earn nothing from this fic. Silvery Chances by Stardust94. Zero felt like he was melting as Ichiru's deft fingers burned trails on his skin. 'Mmm.. You're really warm,' said Ichiru, forcing Zero to let his buttons be ripped asunder."
Zero snatched the printout from Ichiru and read the rest. Seconds later, he stopped abruptly, tore the paper in two and glared daggers at the counselor.
"Calm down, Kiriyu-kun. You can tear all of them up if you like but I can always reprint them. Those are not even half of the online archives." Fujisaki Chigusa let out a heavy breath and gestured towards her laptop computer.
"Online?" both Ichiru and Zero chorused, scrunched their eyebrows in irritation and sighed simultaneously. Then they realized their blunder, braced themselves for the inevitable. The counselor clasped her hands together, her eyes gleaming in excitement as if she had discovered a top-secret.
"Kawaii, I just witnessed a twin-harmonizing phenomenon. Do you do that often? How about dreams? Do you dream of the same thing? How about wet... Eeep!" She stopped babbling as soon as Zero kicked the table violently.
"Careful sensei, he bites if he's upset," Ichiru said mockingly to the surprised counselor and grinned meaningfully at Zero, carefully letting him catch a glimpse of his fangs- reminding him of what they were. Zero caught the meaning and scoffed.
The counselor, who was clueless of the private joke, cleared her throat as she turned the gadget towards the twins so they can look at a webpage. There was a glittery, frothy-pink, animated banner on top that goes 'Zero X Ichi Twincest Realm' and the background is strewn with chibi-versions of themselves.
Ichiru glanced at Zero only to find his brother gripping the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white. Just a little bit more and he would break the wood into splinters.
"What is in there?" Zero's voice was strained; it took every ounce of his faltering control not to blast the innocent laptop into smithereens.
"Ah, just images, fan-fictions, forums and you can buy some of the merchandise online," explained the oblivious counselor. "See, you could sign up as members and get updates too."
"Did you say merchandise? Somebody is making money out of this? I don't recall receiving any royalties," said Ichiru thoughtfully.
"Stop thinking about money! Look here and see this," Zero had seized the laptop and scanned through the contents. "What the hell are these so called fan-fictions? ZeroxIchiru one hundred and nineteen stories, Ichirux Zero eighty-six stories, ZeroxIchiruxKaito forty-five stories, ZeroxIchiruxAidou twenty-one stories?"
"Ara, really? That should be hot," Ichiru seized the laptop from Zero and began clicking.
"Hot? Move over," Zero pushed their heads together to get a better view of the screen while the counselor started to wall herself behind a pile of books stacked on her desk.
As predicted, Ichiru read the page aloud. "Love Lesson by ChibiKYPrincess. 'Ah, sensei, not there.' The silver-haired student pleaded, gripping his teacher's ash-blond locks roughly. 'Shhh... Ichiru-chan, I need to hear your voice,' said Kaito." Ichiru blinked and turned to check Zero's reaction. Seeing none, he continued, "'Nnnhh,' Ichiru moaned in ecstasy. Kaito's lips and tongue were electric against his sensitive skin, traveling downwards, worshipping the taut planes of his abdomen. 'Ah, Takamiya-sensei, no…'"
"..." Zero made an attempt to grab the laptop but Ichiru pushed him away.
The counselor began piling books on top of her desk, a futile shot at fortifying herself from the bickering twins' tumultuous auras. Chuckling secretively, she then observed the boys from a small opening in between of her towering book stacks. Zero was clearly losing his patience- Ichiru, on the other hand was having tremendous fun teasing his brother.
Grinning mischievously, Ichiru read on. "Kaito was about to devour Ichiru's hardness once more when the classroom door flew open only to reveal Zero, panting from exertion. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he had run all the way from the dorms, his eyes wide in disbelief seeing his double in a compromising position with their deliciously sexy homeroom teacher. 'How dare you start without me?' Zero growled, ripping his tie off and pounced- mmmffftt!" Ichiru protested, clawing at Zero's hand as it clamped over his mouth.
"Nice choice, Ichiru-kun. That threesome fic is one of my favourites. ChibiKYPrincess writes the best stories so far. I wonder who she is," sighed the counselor, pretending that she couldn't see the Kiriyu twins grappling for the laptop on her office floor. "Ah, careful not to damage my computer; it's brand new," she added.
"Give me that!" Zero tried to reach for the laptop.
"Not in a million years," Ichiru wrenched himself away from Zero, flipped them over so that he could pin Zero down.
"This has got to stop. Aren't you worried about our reputation?" Zero grunted and took a swipe at Ichiru's face but missed.
"Heh, all those are just some wild imaginations- fictions, Zero-rin. I want to check out the merchandise," Ichiru grinned, clicking on. "We should get a share out of it."
"You are thinking about money again, aren't you?" Zero realized.
"Uwaaah, how did you know?" Ichiru pretended to be impressed and kicked Zero in the shins.
"Because you're my fucking twin, that's how," Zero threw Ichiru off him, wrapped his arms around Ichiru's slender torso, effectively capturing his brother.
"Mind the curse word or else she'll think you're fucking me for real," Ichiru warned gleefully, making Zero release him at once.
Hearing that, the counselor rose up from her desk, toppling her wall of books. "You mean that the both of you are not together?"
The room came into a standstill, the two vampire hunters staring at her numbly. "You look disappointed," said Zero as he pulled Ichiru to his feet.
"Who in the right mind has the nerves to sleep with him?" Ichiru pointed indignantly at Zero.
"Just you, but I know what you mean so I'll take that as a compliment." Zero finally got a hold of the laptop, snapped it shut and set it on the counselor's desk.
Ichiru opened his mouth before the counselor could launch herself into twincest-land. "Okay, I did sleep with you but only when we were younger."
"Oh, really?" Zero sneered.
"Let me get this straight- both of you are straight? No puns intended." Fujisaki Chigusa sat back onto her chair and sighed.
"You look disappointed," Ichiru repeated Zero's earlier remark with a grin plastered on his face.
"She's crushed," Zero stated, making the counselor blush in mortification.
Sensing Zero's apprehension, she explained carefully. "Just to be clear, I bear no prejudice against my students' sexual orientation. I'm a guidance counselor, not a prosecutor. I called the two of you to tell you to tone things down because lately, the Silverettes- your twincest fan base is growing at an alarming rate. I believe at least half of girls from both the Day and Night class have signed up as subscribers of the forum."
"Cool, awesome, we've bridged species. Should we do this on a bigger scale?" Zero mumbled under his breath again, crossed his arms and leaned against the window sill. Ichiru grinned but the counselor didn't catch Zero's sarcastic, philanthropic revelation.
"That website has been around some quite some time but about a month ago, the site had been revamped from a simple fan fiction web-forum into this. The members had literally quadrupled so the recent implosion worries me. Fanatical obsession usually leads to negative behaviour so I have to get to the root- the two of you. What if this mania turns into something destructive?" Fujisaki seemed earnest.
"We did not cause this and we can take care of ourselves," said Zero defiantly.
"Of course, but I am more worried about your Silverettes, your worshipping fan girls. I can't just sit here and wait for something bad to happen. The two of you must do something to rectify the problem," she explained.
Zero closed his eyes and sighed in irritation. "Worship, huh? How about harassment?"
Ichiru ignored his surly older brother and settled down opposite the counselor. "Fujisaki-sensei, I understand your plight and I admire your concern over your students. Moreover, I'm flattered that you have gone to such lengths to research those sensational literary exploitations. Reading those scandalous fantasies about your students and a fellow teacher must have been an utterly revolting experience." He stopped and smiled charmingly at Fujisaki who had blushed a shade darker. "I assure you that Zero and I will do everything in our ability to help you remedy the situation."
"Thank you, Ichiru-kun. Now we have to plan an intervention for the sake of the students." The counselor believed Ichiru but Zero was skeptical- he snorted in disdain.
"Sure, with that, this circus is going to disband..." said Zero incredulously. He was looking out of the window, estimating the number of girls that had swarmed outside the counseling room, undoubtedly trying to get a glimpse of them.
Bad move. The girls screamed as soon as they spotted him.
"Tch, killing them should be easier but manslaughter is out of the option. We will tell them that we are not in that kind of relationship." Zero did not bother to hide his disdain anymore. He glared at Ichiru who was sitting there, smiling slyly.
The counselor was skeptical. "That wouldn't be sufficient- they might think that you are trying to cover up the truth and stalk you even more intensely."
"She's right," Ichiru agreed immediately.
"But that is the truth. It is their fault that they have fried their brains in a pan of slimy ya-oil," said Zero coldly.
"Alright, Kiriyu-kun, I know you find this bothersome but first, you have to know why this phenomenon started. If your claim is true, that the both of you are not in that kind of liaison, surely you wonder what had contributed to the rumour." Her statement caught Ichiru's attention, his eyes gleamed as he beckoned her to go on. "I believe that neither one of you had ever gone out with girls before. Am I right?" asked the counselor.
Ichiru did a double take. Should he disclose the fact that he was still worshipping a dead pureblood vampire while Zero was still wallowing in his one-sided love affair with Kuran Yuuki, a girl from the Night Class? Both of them were fools pining for unrequited love and there was definitely no way that either of them would go on dates. Not to mention, their free-time had been solely utilized to go on Level-E hunts- they were vampire hunters for God's sake. He couldn't tell her that they were bloodsucking ex-humans too, could he?
Ichiru caught Zero staring blankly at him and he understood the meaning- he had been handed the baton to do whatever it took and get them out of there. "You are absolutely right, sensei. We haven't."
"I thought so. And perhaps the two of you had been turning down the girls' love confessions all along?"
"Yes, or at least I have been turning them down. He has been killing them off with his death glare and setting the letters on fire," Ichiru chuckled watching Zero cringe.
"So my theory is, since the two of you made yourselves unavailable and given the fact that you are very close to one another, untouchable by others, the girls derived the conclusion that the two of you are somehow involved with one another," said Fujisaki. "You should start dating like normal teenagers, you two. Surely there is at least one or two girls that have caught your eye."
"Heh... dating? I can do that but I'm not sure that he'd be too pleased to see me get close to other people, right Zero?" Ichiru teased. Zero could never trust Ichiru to mingle with humans, vampire-snacks, potential victims. They were Level-Ds, regardless of their hunter heritage and Level-Ds should never go anywhere near humans.
The counselor covered her mouth and stifled an excited squeal; Zero could have sworn that the damn woman was on the verge of having a nosebleed.
Ichiru took in a deep breath and exhales dramatically. "Since we are unique, Zero believes that we should grow old and die together, just the two of us."
Her facial expression changed radically after hearing Ichiru's proclamation. "Fu,fu, fu... I know that twins are close but you should not restrict your brother, Kiriyu-kun. Such possessiveness is unhealthy. You should let Ichiru-kun savour life, meet people, learn to love, make mistakes because time waits for no one. You should be ashamed of yourself, Kiriyu-kun. Learn to let go, Ichiru-kun will be forever be your brother so what are you afraid of?"
"But sensei, you don't understand... He needs me." Ichiru had imitated a shoujo-manga heroine to perfection- the glazed eyes, trembling lips and clasped hands, he delivered the whole package.
Zero could not believe his ears, wishing that he could somehow tie and gag Ichiru who was thoroughly enjoying himself misleading the woman. He could not tell her that in their tainted eyes and vampire-hormone polluted bloodstream, people tasted better than those chalky blood tablets they survived on and it was rather hard to resist from chomping on a few now and then.
"Don't push it smart-ass, you can't go anywhere near other students unless necessary and you know why," Zero warned his brother.
Then Zero faced the counselor. "Are you by any chance, bipolar? You mood change is rather... extreme."
Immediately, something changed in the counselor's mannerism. She bowed her head, her hair shadowed her eyes and she broke into a lopsided smirk. "Kiriyu-kun..." the counselor said darkly.
"..." Zero had a bad feeling about the woman's behaviour and felt for his gun tucked in his holster. Ichiru too sensed her moody downturn, sat innocently in his chair and pretended to be hurt by Zero's words.
Suddenly, the counselor rose up from her chair, slamming her hands on the table, surprising them both. "What is wrong with you? Are you calling me crazy? I'm a certified, trained professional. You have earned yourself a spot amongst the hardcore delinquents in this academy so I'll pretend that you've never questioned my mental-health." She was hyperventilating, bewildered and bug-eyed.
Both boys looked at each other, Zero signaled that he was going to leave but before he could move, she pushed on. "How can you be so mean to your little brother? Look at him! He is the epitome of good-looks, his silky silver hair, that clear unblemished skin, that perfectly chiseled face, his perfect height, his drool-worthy body, that manly tattoo and badass piercings are every girl's wet-dream. He's a hottie, no, he is a God and he should be dating. The same goes to you, you are equally good-looking. Ah, how ignorant of me, you're twins so... duh! But your personality is awful, Kiriyu. Of course, there are always girls who would fall for the bad-boy types because I know I would."
Pin-drop silence enveloped the room as the twins stared at her in dismay.
Sensing the awkwardness, she cleared her throat and spoke quietly. "Ah, maybe you don't like girls but that is alright. I had been observing a few male students from the Night Class and they seem to like boys. I can tell you their names. It's okay to be gay but please don't drag your brother down with you. Oh my, Kiriyu-kun, I would never have guessed that you are... to Ichiru-kun... You have been doing it to your brother, haven't you? Poor Ichiru-kun, did Kiriyu-kun hurt you?"
Zero's internal bombs went off; it took all his might not to fire a bullet into her skull.
Stifling a bout of laughter, Ichiru said. "Zero is incapable of hurting me, sensei. You can be sure of that but just so that you know- he dislikes the guys from the Night Class as much as he likes watching yaoi-porn." He had fatally spun the situation out of proportion.
"Why? The Night Class boys are hot bishounens. Wait, wait, what? OMG, so I was right?" Fujisaki Chigusa gasped and covered her mouth in shock. The counselor had overstepped all the rules of her profession by acting like a typical yaoi fan-girl. "Do you like porn? I do have a stash of them in my drawer. I was about to lend them to you before."
Eyebrows twitching, temper simmering, Zero tried his best to sound indifferent, "You mean those girly magazines that I confiscated from the pupils? I could have kept them myself if I was that curious."
"Hey, why didn't you show them to me? We could've looked at them together," Ichiru pouted.
"As if..." Zero assessed the possibility of ironing out the misunderstanding. However, given Ichiru's hobby of seeing him cringe and suffer as well as the counselor's borderline-crazed state, he gave up.
"Tch, I don't care anymore. I'm leaving," Zero left his perch, turned on his heels and made his way towards the door but Ichiru grabbed one of his arms to stop him.
"Alright, alright, I get it. Stay a bit longer and hear what I'm about to suggest," said Ichiru, pulling Zero to sit down in the chair beside him.
"And hold back my murderous intent while you convince her that I'm blazing gay?" Zero growled under his breath.
The counselor gaped in disbelief, "Huh? Are you implying that you're not? I'm confused."
Ichiru patted Zero on the back and said, "Like I've said before, who in the right mind has the nerves to sleep with him?"
"You," Zero growled again but Ichiru pretended he had missed it.
Ichiru let out a sigh and spoke solemnly. "We are grateful that you brought this matter to light and we are going to follow your advice, sensei. I will personally put an end to the confusion once and for all. Tomorrow, one of us is going to meet up with a girl."
"Are you saying that the two of you will give a shot at dating like I said you should?" Fujisaki Chigusa was visibly touched.
"Yes," Ichiru agreed without thinking.
"What?" Zero could not believe his ears.
"So tomorrow, Zero, you will wait for me at the water-fountain by the edge of the wooded area at five so I can introduce her to you," Ichiru explained. "I think you'll like her. But I'm not sure which one of us she'll choose."
Fujisaki Chigusa broke into an eerie grin, "You can always share..."
"Get a grip, woman!" Zero snapped.
Ichiru laughed lightly, watching Zero unsuccessfully try in setting the cowering counselor aflame with his glare. "And I hope Fujisaki-sensei will be there with a camera ready so we can spread the news as fast as we can."
"You don't have to go that far, Ichiru-kun. People would eventually notice," she protested before Zero could speak.
"I'm against this ridiculously cheap tactic. You're planning to stage a date? Besides, five would be too close to the class-changeover. We have prefect duties, you dolt!" Zero let his voice take on a few decibels higher than his usual monotone.
Ichiru chuckled and patted Zero on the shoulder. "No, it is best we do it that way. You want the twincest circus to be over so you have to trust me, Zero. No matter what happens tomorrow, wait there, say nothing, be nice and go along with my plans."
Zero searched Ichiru's face for any signs of deceit but found none. He was planning to upstage Ichiru- his brother was not the easiest person to trust given his numerous track records and tendencies to trick him. However, the excited screams that erupted outside the window the moment he turned and looked down at the females below changed his mind.
"Will your plan solve everything?" Fujisaki Chigusa asked, her words the exact same thing that Zero had in mind.
Ichiru cocked his head to one side and smiled charmingly. "You will have to show up and see."
0000000000
"Hey, do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused?" Somebody had interrupted Zero's precious sleep.
He opened his eyes, sat up and aimed his gun in between a pair of clear blue eyes. Zero knew them too well- Aidou Hanabusa.
"Ah, you're as dangerous as ever- that makes my blood sing," jeered the blonde vampire. Teasing Zero was one of his favourite pastimes and seeing Zero's barely there smirk told him that the vampire hunter didn't count him as a threat.
"Buzz off, senpai." Zero retracted his weapon, holstered it back underneath his jacket and stood up before the crouching Level-B.
Aidou sneered as he rose up to his feet and assessed the surroundings. "Buzz? You should tell that to that fly over there. What is so appealing about this stable that draws you in here? Is it that temperamental old horse? Can't Level-Ds smell dung?"
The blond vampire knew exactly how to annoy him but Zero refused to cave in. "Obviously you were drawn here too when you are clearly not supposed to be out here. The flaming, UV-ray emitting, ball of fire is still shining brightly out there. Ah, you are here; that means you are desperate to see me."
"Oooh, feisty. I have nothing against the sun and besides, I need a quick tan," Aidou rolled his eyes and exhaled noisily while reaching into his coat-pocket. "For the eternally surly Mister Hunter, here, you ought to see this," he handed Zero a piece of photocopied paper.
It was a copy of the fan fiction that Ichiru had read aloud the day before but at the bottom of the page, there was a line that goes "This is not fiction!" printed in bold.
With a defeated sigh, Zero let go of the paper, watching it drop onto the hay-covered floor.
However, to his consternation, Aidou snickered and picked it up and began reading a paragraph.
"How dare you start without me? Zero growled, ripping his tie off and pounced at the other two. He pushed Kaito off and pried apart Ichiru's lips with his fingers. 'Nii-san, I don't…' Ichiru's words were lost as soon as Zero sealed them with a bruising kiss-Heeeeey!" Aidou protested because Zero had snatched the paper, balled it up and fed it to the horse. The animal chewed but spat it back out.
"Where did you get that, pervert?" Zero was incensed but Aidou was unperturbed.
"What a prude. They are everywhere. This was distributed in the Moon Dorms and I saw a bunch of bawling Day Class girls holding the same piece of paper on my way here. You've broken so many hearts today, bad boy," said Aidou cheekily while he pulled out another copy from his pocket.
"So you are here to make fun me?" Zero wished he could burn the blasphemous piece of paper to cinders with his glare but he didn't have that 'talent'.
"No, I'm here to witness you being torn into shreds by a hoard of scorned females," Aidou's blue eyes sparkled like diamonds as he waved the copy in the air.
Zero picked up some voices growing louder and louder approaching the stables. "Ah, and naturally, you've led them here too."
"Hah, of course I did. You can stay, but I recommend you to make a run for it," suggested Aidou merrily.
At that moment, the stable door flew open, revealing at least thirty female students. They spotted the two vampires immediately and hell broke loose.
"There he is!"
"Is he Zero-sama of Ichiru-sama?"
"How should I know? Ah, that demonic horse is behaving and he's scowling- he's Zero-sama."
"Kyaaaa... Zero-sama, we need to know the truth."
"Hold on, there is no way the Kiriyu brothers are doing that with Takamiya-sensei!"
"Who the hell is this ChibiKYPrincess? I'll shave her head bald for writing this, this... atrocity!"
"Hey, calm down, we are here to get answers, not create trouble for Kiriyu-sama."
"Did the other group find Ichiru-sama?"
"Don't know- wait- I'll call them."
"Look, look, a Night Class student."
"Eeeeh, why is Idol-senpai here?"
"Oh, my God, he's holding the flyer. Could he be?"
"Oh, my God, there are fics about Zero-sama and Idol-senpai too you know."
"Oh, my fucking God, Aidou-sama is confronting Zero-sama!"
"Aidou-sama asked us if we have seen Zero-sama just now. Oh, my God, no!"
"They, they are... together?"
"Kyaaaaaaa...!" all of them screamed and rushed forward.
Zero glanced beside him to whack Aidou for making things worse but the blonde vampire had disappeared. Growling in irritation, Zero exited the stables through the back door with the group of bigoted females hot on his heels.
Dashing through the field, he checked his watch- ten minutes to five. Ichiru told him to be at the water fountain by five. He had thought of not showing up but looking back at the determined girls, he figured that he should lose them, show up at the designated place, grab Ichiru and go home.
Zero sprinted faster; he entered the school building, thinking that he could slow them down along the labyrinth-like hallways. It was going smoothly. Half of the girls had either slowed down or had exhausted themselves running after him. Seizing the chance, he made a detour into a vacant classroom, opened a window and jumped outside.
However, as soon as his feet touched the ground, the school intercom blared, "Attention students in pursuit of you-know-who, he has escaped to the courtyard. Do your best to round him up because TRUTH MUST BE SERVED!"
Zero could recognize the annoying voice anywhere.'Aidou Hanabusa,' thought Zero as he sprinted towards the wooded part of the academy. Unfortunately for him, several females had spotted him, whipped out their cells and started texting. Fifteen seconds later, he could hear a stampede closing into him from all directions.
"Saa... Minna-san, let's get Kiriyu. Text, text, text, my darlings. Utilize the frightening, yet prevailing power of networking," Aidou's voice echoed throughout the school compound.
Zero growled when he saw another group of females emerging from the corner of the building. He took off as soon as he heard them squeal his name.
Doubling his speed, he sprinted towards the water-fountain, determined to secure Ichiru, ditch the class-changeover and flee the school grounds.
He felt Ichiru's presence as he closed in the designated place but to his puzzlement, he could sense others too- Level-B vampires, at least two of them. Although there was no conflict or threat in the auras, he couldn't help but to worry about Ichiru. He didn't doubt Ichiru's ability to fend for himself but the cynical wit and razor tongue combo that he had were enough to set bombs off.
Zero could see the top of the fountain in the distance; he bounded up into a tree to get a better view.
Looking down, he saw three figures clad in the academy's white uniform, one male and two females; they were from the Night Class. Zero could recognize the red-haired male and the pigtailed, blond female anywhere- they were the dynamic-model-duo, Shiki Senri and Touya Rima. However, he had never seen the other, a tall female with long silver-ish hair. She was sitting down on the grass with her back to him- he could not see her face.
"Perfect. Now stand up, gaze straight at him and move to the next position," said Rima in her smooth voice.
"Stand, gaze, position...?" Zero mumbled to himself as he continued to assess the surroundings. There were several things scattered around- bags, some white plastic boards, and he even spotted a stuffed animal lying next to the silver-haired vampire. Shiki was holding a complicated looking digital-camera while Rima had one hand on her hip and was holding a black parasol with the other.
There was a slight rustle of fabric and then he heard the unidentified female complain. "You have enough frames to use for the damn site." Her voice sounded familiar but Zero could not place it anywhere.
"Where the hell is Ichiru?"he wondered.
Zero could feel him close by but he was nowhere in sight save for the three strange bloodsuckers. He reminded himself to strangle Ichiru when he saw him. There he was, perched up in a godforsaken tree like a perverted prowler stalking three individuals from the Night Class who were engaged in something that looked like an amateur photo shoot. Ichiru, who had told him to be there on time was nowhere in sight.
As Zero was conjuring all the possible methods of torture he was going to apply to Ichiru, Shiki said something out of character in that lazy drawl of his, "We agreed on a hundred shots. Now hike your skirt up a bit, think playful and look at my camera."
Zero's mind saw red. 'Shots, hike skirt, playful, camera... Hentai photoshoot?'
There is no way Zero would allow such a thing on school grounds but he was not going to do anything until he had solid proof. All he had to do was wait for Shiki to snap something X-rated with his camera and then he'd snatch it. Perfect. The almighty Kuran Kaname, the smarmy leader to the lowly leeches would have a ball having to clear everything. Zero could not help but smile smugly- he had forgotten about Ichiru for a second.
"Of all the expressions that exist in this world, you want me to give you playful?" the silver-haired unidentified model sneered while adjusting the length of her skirt. Her long silver hair curtained her face from Zero's view but Zero could tell that her lip-gloss slicked lips were curving up into a smile.
Zero had a feeling that he knew the silver-haired vampire girl from somewhere. He studied her again. She was unusually tall for a female, standing confidently with her long, well-toned legs spread a bit too widely for females. Her strong shoulders were enviably broad. Again, he told himself that he had seen her from somewhere before but he could not place a finger on it.
"Why can't I give you my usual expression?" complained the silver-haired vampire girl again. This time, Zero noticed that her voice was just a little too deep.
"Why scowl when you are way, way, way much cuter than Ruka?" asked Rima.
"Tch, Ruka? I'd rather die than to be compared to her," the mysterious female scoffed, tossing her hair out of her face.
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew. Rima yelped as she dropped her parasol to keep her skirt from lifting up. However, to Zero's puzzlement, the other female vampire did absolutely nothing- she let her short skirt flutter wildly so Zero discovered something else- that she was wearing boxers instead of panties. Those boxers looked familiar too- he himself owned an exact pair. Boxers and a female, vampire or not just didn't go together so he concluded the obvious; the mysterious silver-haired vampire was a cross-dressing male- and Zero himself would have to burn his own pair as soon as he got home. A sick, disgusted feeling pooled in his stomach; suppressing his urge to hurl, he lost his balance. He grabbed onto a dead branch above his head but it snapped.
The three vampires below heard and turned towards his direction. They had spotted him.
Zero jumped down to the ground, landed lightly on his heels and stood up to face the three.
Shiki, seeing Zero, sighed as he lowered his camera.
Rima unfolded a black, lacy fan and hid her smile.
Much to Zero's shock, the cross-dressing male stared coldly at him and sneered, "Finally, you're here. What took you so long?"
That was when Zero noticed the strange vampire's eye colour- the same shade of purple as his. There was only one person that had it other than him- Ichiru. He had stumbled upon a photo session with his brother as the main subject. He felt blood draining away from his brain.
Zero growled, marched over to Ichiru and grabbed him by the right wrist, "You've finally gone crazy; we're going home!"
Ichiru grinned.
Shiki rolled his eyes.
Rima clicked her tongue.
"Not so fast, you will still have to do as Shiki says or the deal is off," Rima warned. She turned her gaze towards the wide-eyed Zero, pointed a finger at him and continued, "I want pictures that can garner that kind of reaction."
Ichiru combed his fingers through his long silky tresses.
Shiki had his camera poised and ready.
Rima picked her parasol back up.
Zero was on the verge of a massive temper-meltdown.
Moments later, they heard the Night Dorm gates open and there was a rumble of frantic feet approaching their direction.
The intercom blared again. "Head on to the water-fountain, darlings!"
"Shit, I can't let them see you like this! Let's go." Zero tugged Ichiru by his arm, trying to lead him away.
"See who like what?" asked a voice Zero dreaded to hear.
"Ah, Yuuki-sama," greeted Rima flatly.
There she was, standing wide-eyed in the middle of the stone path looking at the four of them. Her big brown eyes were glazed and her lips were trembling. She stood beside her eternally insufferable older brother, Kuran Kaname. He too had a strange look on his face.
Ichiru chuckled under his breath and ran his fingers through his long silver hair, wrenched his arm away from Zero and clung onto him instead. Yuuki immediately paled. Zero squirmed but Ichiru held on to him even tighter. He had a feeling that Yuuki was getting the wrong idea and Ichiru was going to exploit it to the fullest.
Shiki groaned. "Let's wrap up Rima. We'll do this some other time."
"The two of them are here, that pose is nice. I like their expressions. It can't get more natural than this so, please start snapping, Shiki," said Rima.
Shiki sighed in defeat, "As you wish." He poised his camera and began taking pictures.
The bright flashes were hurting Zero's eyes. Growling menacingly, he tried to drag Ichiru away from the scene but he stopped as soon as he realized that they were surrounded. The Night Class students had arrived and a storm of whispers erupted.
"Who is that with Kiriyu?"
"Who? The girl with the long hair?"
"Transfer student?"
"I have never seen her before."
"She's wearing our school uniform; she must be new."
"What is she doing with the school prefect?"
"She's glued onto him. Is she crazy?"
"Hey, I think Kiriyu is pretty hot."
"Shut up, you're not supposed to admire a hunter."
"I don't care; love prevails all."
"You're nuts. You have nuts."
"If you get the hang of those fics, he's gay. It means the both of us like people with nuts hanging."
"Go get him, man. If you can get passed Kaname-sama."
"Shhh... you shouldn't say that so blatantly."
"Ara, don't you think that girl resembles Kiriyu?"
"They say love is stronger if one looks like her lover."
"That's so absurd. But she does look like him..."
"You think her silver hair is real?"
"Then, do you think Kiriyu is wearing a wig?"
"No."
"How is she still alive? Clinging onto him like that."
"They look close, ne?"
"Kyaaaa~ I'm jealous."
"Shhh, do you want to get punished by the dorm president?"
"How can I not be jealous? They look good together."
"How can be she so tall?"
"Yeah, I'll kill for those legs."
"Pervert."
"Jealous."
"Shut up!"
"Ne, ne... Why does Yuuki-sama look upset?"
"Shhhh... you're not supposed to bring that up!"
"Is it my imagination or does Kaname-sama look upset too?"
"Shhhh... do you want to die?"
"We have to make sure Shiki-san uploads those photos online."
"Ah, I can't wait."
"Hold it, why is he taking pictures?"
"Beats me. As long as I get to see them, who cares?"
"Where is Aidou?"
"I think it was him on the intercoms."
"Oh, he's so dead."
"That means the humans will be here soon."
"Yeay, this means I get to see Emi-chan, Amane-chan and the rest."
"Did you just reveal that you know a bunch of people?"
"I'm an active Silverette, of course I get to make friends with people. Ne, look, I can smell them approaching."
It was Ruka who had ended the scandalous whispers. She stepped up beside Yuuki and asked the portentous question, "What is going on here?"
Shiki and Rima each let out a weary sigh.
The whispers erupted again. Scrunching her eyebrows together, Ruka brandished an accusing finger and pointed it at Ichiru who was busy keeping the squirming Zero still. "Who are you?"
"She doesn't look too happy to see me, ne?" Ichiru pouted mockingly.
"Don't make that disgusting face!" Zero hissed.
"Ara, ara... possessive as always," Ichiru pouted more, he freed Zero's arm but to his surprise, Zero caught his hand and tried to lead him away.
"Stop!" Yuuki had spoken. "You can't take her away. If you do, I would have to punish her severely for skipping class."
All eyes were trained on her. It made sense. Ichiru was wearing a Night Class uniform so Yuuki must have mistaken Ichiru as a new student. Kaname remained indifferent. As Zero and Ichiru turned to face Yuuki, the whispers erupted again.
"Neither my brother nor I have been informed of her enrollment so until this situation has been clarified by someone of authority, she will have to remain with us." Yuuki sounded convincing enough.
Zero and Ichiru glanced at each other. They were surprised that none of the vampires had figured out that Ichiru was only cross-dressing. Ichiru's lips curved into an amused smile. Zero sensed an impending shockwave of chaos about to be unleashed by Ichiru upon the school population.
The Day Class students arrived and Zero could see Fujisaki Chigusa at the back of the crowd, an approving smile plastered on her flushed face- she must have run all the way together with the mob. Like the Night Class before, the humans too were outraged seeing a Night Class girl standing close to Zero.
Zero assessed the surroundings for an escape route and found one- they could make a run past Yuuki and Kaname because being royalty, nobody was standing near them. He was about to haul Ichiru away when an annoying blond appeared out of nowhere and stopped him.
"How rude! Aren't you going to introduce her?" Aidou's smile was downright lecherous. Pin drop silence shrouded the area. Zero could literally feel the curiosity emitting from the onlookers.
Just count on Ichiru to make things worse. Clinging tighter onto Zero, Ichiru emitted a feminine gasp and said something that almost gave Zero a seizure. "Please, Ichiru, let's haste. I'm frightened."
Yuuki, convinced that the Kiriyu standing before them was Ichiru, let out a relieved sigh.
Kaname was not convinced because the one called Ichiru smelled like Zero but he couldn't say anything about it.
Aidou grinned knowingly and decided to play along in making Zero squirm.
Shiki couldn't care less and continued taking pictures.
Rima opened a box of pocky.
Ruka imagined herself being surrounded by a jealous crowd, hanging on to Kaname.
Kain would kill to have Ruka cling to him like that.
Ichiru, realizing Zero was about to have a fit buried his face in Zero's chest to muffle his snicker.
Zero wanted to tear Ichiru's wig off and reveal everything but refrained to do so in case the bird-brained onlookers ended up mistaking the cross-dressing Ichiru as him instead.
The rest of the onlookers didn't really care which Kiriyu twin was standing before them anymore because the new Night Class girl was acting scandalous at the moment.
"My, my... You're dating somebody behind his back eh, Ichiru?" Aidou leered at Zero.
"Spewing nonsense now are you, blondie?" growled Zero warningly. He realized that Aidou was going to play along with Ichiru.
"What is he talking about? Do you have somebody other than me?" Ichiru used a feminine tone again.
Aidou whipped out the photocopied fanfic out and handed it over. The crowd gasped as Ichiru pretended to read.
"It's all in there, my love. Whoever this ChibiKYPrincess person, she had perfectly captured the truth about Ichiru and his twin brother's real relationship. Now will you ditch this Ichiru of yours and come away with me?" Aidou spoke consolingly and reached out his hand.
The whispers erupted again.
"Kya~ Idol-senpai is going to steal Ichiru's girl!"
"Riiiight, something feels off."
"Ne, I thought we were running after Zero-sama before. Why is Ichiru-sama suddenly here all of the sudden?"
"Yeah, where did Zero go?"
"I'm confused."
"Seriously, I'm dying to know who that Night Class newbie is."
"Seriously, she resembles Ichiru-sama."
"Idiot; only Zero-sama does."
"Is she Zero?"
"Idiot; there is no way Zero-sama could grow his hair out that long."
"Maybe the Kiriyus are actually triplets?"
"Idiot!"
"Oh no, I think the girl is crying."
"OMG, how could Idol-senpai give that to her? Her shoulders are shaking, poor girl."
"Did Aidou just confirm that the fic is actually true?"
"No way..."
"You mean Ichiru-sama has been dating a girl behind Zero-sama's back?"
"Are you saying that the Kiriyu twins are gay?"
"Of course they are gay."
"Then why does Ichiru have a girlfriend?"
"..."
It was Ruka who interrupted the storm of whispers, "That's it. Aidou, step aside!" She walked pass Aidou and stood before Zero. "You, Kiriyu Ichiru, where is Kiriyu Zero? I demand for this nonsense to be cleared once and for all. Just who is she?"
Before Zero could speak, Ichiru had stepped up to Ruka, "Ne, Ichiru, is she the Chibi Princess person?"
"Quit it!" Zero snapped and yanked Ichiru back.
"Are you defending her?" Ichiru was doing a very commendable job impersonating a scorned female.
Gritting his teeth, Zero struggled to keep his temper down, "No, stop and let's leave." He hadn't a clue why Ichiru was misleading everyone but he was not going to linger and find out.
"Then prove to everybody that you have me and the disgusting story is not true!" Ichiru pounded Zero's chest with his fists a bit too hard.
Winded, Zero glared at Ichiru and croaked, "How?"
"Kiss her," a rich, velvety voice chuckled out of the sudden. It was Kuran Kaname, cool and composed- yet his eyes regarded Zero's challengingly.
Shell shocked with the Night Class President's unexpected quip, silence enveloped the crowd.
"Kissing is prohibited on school grounds, Ichiru-kun, but I promise all you will get for it is my blessing- oops…fair warning," Fujisaki Chigusa uttered something crazy from the back. Zero could see her camera held readily in her hand. Disgusted, he turned to Ichiru and signaled to get ready to bolt.
To Zero's consternation, Ichiru smiled innocently at him, let his hands drop gracefully by his sides and closed his eyes. There were some "oohs" and squeals of excitement coming from the onlookers.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Zero snarled under his breath.
Ichiru opened his eyes, leaned closer to Zero and whispered back, "I'm imitating a typical shoujo-manga heroine who is about to have her first kiss taken away by the stubborn male lead."
"You're crazy," accused Zero.
"Of course. Who in their right mind has the nerves to conspire with the modeling-duo, dress like a girl and call you 'Ichiru' on front of everybody just to clear up some stupid rumours that you can't personally handle." Ichiru made sure he spoke low enough, only audible to Zero.
"I can't kiss you just because he said so," Zero remained defiant.
"In case you've forgotten, you are currently me, Ichiru, not Zero. Are you afraid that Kuran might get the wrong idea?" Ichiru ignored the excited crowd and smiled suggestively at Zero.
"I don't care what Kuran Kaname thinks."
"Ara, I was referring to Kuran Yuuki."
"Damn you."
"Do you want the girls dispersed?"
"Close your eyes," Zero settled his hands on top of Ichiru's shoulders and tilted his head to one side.
"Make it convincing," said Ichiru as he felt Zero's breath on his lips.
They could hear Aidou leading the crowd chanting, "Kiss, Kiss, kiss..."
As he was about to touch his lips to Ichiru's, a small body knocked Ichiru away from him. Snapping his eyes open, he saw Yuuki glaring fiercely at him while hugging a bewildered Ichiru. "Enough with your tricks, Ichiru, how could you do this to Zero?" she yelled, wrapping her arms protectively around his skirt-wearing brother.
"Yuuki-sama?" Ruka was as flabbergasted as the rest of the onlookers.
Zero saw Ichiru's well hidden smirk and paled. Then he saw Kaname standing a few feet away from Yuuki and Ichiru, doing absolutely nothing- obviously enjoying himself watching the inevitable chaos unfold.
"Minna, I am ChibiKYPrincess and it was I who started writing the Kiriyu twincest fan fictions." Yuuki was on the verge of tears. The fan girls gasped in disbelief.
"No way, those smutty yaoi stories? How can someone of your standing come out with that kind of porn writing? It can't be you," Ruka added oil to the fire.
"I did. I'm so sorry, Zero. I didn't know it will spin out of control like this. It was fun at first, getting good reviews and all but I got addicted so bad that I couldn't stop writing all of those lemony scenes between you and Ichiru even though Kaname told me to stop. I'm so sorry." Yuuki had started crying.
"Then why are you fessing up now?" asked Aidou.
"Can't you see what Zero is wearing Aidou-senpai? I've turned Zero into a transvestite!" Yuuki cried and hugged Ichiru even harder.
"No that is not Zero, Yuuki. I'm Zero," Zero stepped forward towards her.
However, Yuuki shook her head in dismay and bawled anew, "No, Ichiru. You don't have to sacrifice yourself, pretending to be Zero when it is all too late. It's too late; Zero has developed a weird habit and it is entirely my fault."
Ichiru hid his smile underneath his long silvery wig while patting Yuuki's back in a brotherly way.
It had never occurred to Aidou that he might have so much fun seeing something being blown out of proportion like this.
Rima was busy estimating the amount of money she could make by selling the pictures.
Shiki was still busy taking pictures.
Ruka could not believe that Zero's complexion was better than hers.
Kain thought 'Zero' was cuter than a girl and wondered why he hadn't said anything the entire time.
Yuuki had permanently sealed Zero's fate as Cross Academy's first transvestite.
0000000000
"Go away." Zero didn't bother to open his eyes; the person approaching him was someone he knew too well. Dawn was approaching and he was trying to catch some sleep in the stables before class started.
"You should be thankful that I have graced you with my presence," the rich, velvety voice broke Zero's peace.
"Sure, just in time to see me wrestle with my conscience- should I or should I not try to kill you?" quipped Zero as he rose to his feet. There standing before him was Kuran Kaname an inconspicuous looking box tucked in his arms.
"I'm glad you have deemed me worthy to deserve your murderous thoughts and in place of your brother. After all, it was he who had provided the window of opportunity to tarnish your reputation- all I did was give Yuuki a little push."
"Manipulative bastard."
"I'll consider that as a compliment," said Kaname haughtily. He produced an envelope and extended it to Zero.
"Anthrax?" Zero could not resist irritating the pureblood.
"Better to kill you with worldly riches- a reparation for some of my charges' transgressions. It was Aidou who ran that contemptible webpage and Shiki's Zero-ko pictures are bringing in serious profit. It is impossible to take that down without initiating a school wide, estrogenically charged strike so I made him come up with a reimbursement."
"Use that to buy him a new server; I'm going to shoot holes in it tonight."
"Please do, but about this, just take it or leave it," smiled Kaname as he dropped the envelope containing money onto the floor.
"The horses will love it. Now, leave," glared Zero.
"Aren't you curious about this box?" Kaname gestured to the rectangle cardboard box he brought along with him.
"Can't say that I'm not- C4? Poison gas canisters?" replied Zero sarcastically.
"It is better to off you with good humour."
"Then humour me."
"I had the chance to pay our resident counselor a visit," said Kaname.
"Ah, that must be the stash of porn she wanted to lend me."
"Not exactly, I was inspired by her artsy choice of decor and decided to pick you a gift." The pureblood was smiling at him.
"Ah, you must have seen that eye-scorching rendition of Venus."
"Indeed. It is an inspiring art piece, a beauty arising from the depths of a tumultuous sea. She suggested that I should get you a present, to get your spirits up after all that ruckus. As a fellow student of course," said Kaname. He handed the box to Zero and left.
In the box was a neatly folded, girl's Night Class uniform and a note saying, "-Because I thought it would suit your new hobby."
A/N- Love? Hate? Tell me.. Review, review, review~ I wouldn't have posted this chapter if it wasn't for my beta. Thank you, luv you Doll! Below are the prompts that she gave me. How can I not share something awesomatic-fantanstically-LMAO-worthy ? ^^
What if...Ichiru is determined to humiliate Zero and circulates the print outs through the school?
What if...the school intercom gets involved somehow?
What if...Zero and Ichiru find out that one of the fics was written by Yuuki?
What if...someone locks Zero and Ichiru in a closet on camera, expecting them to make out?
What if...Ichiru dresses up as Zero-ko again? (please, please do this- it was my favorite part of the manga! ^^)
What if...Ichiru mentions to Zero that someone might poison him with an aphrodisiac and Zero becomes too paranoid to eat anything he doesn't make himself?
What if...the counselor has a stash of porn which she confiscates from students but keeps for herself?