Chapter 4 – Runaway Bride

Just Family

Nolan 13, Ryder almost 9, Olivia 5

Annabelle 1, and Victoria, 50 weeks

January 12, Thursday.

Amelia approached the hospital and went inside without listening to Owen's message. Running into Derek in the Main Lobby as she headed to the Attendings' Lounge, Amelia tried to hide her look of disappointment.

"Amy? What are you doing here?" Derek asked with concern as he set his hand on her shoulder.

She smirked and offered with a sly and kidding tone, "Thought it'd be a great time to hide out and catch up on some charting. But, now…well, my boss has spotted me."

Derek stepped in front of his sister and stopped, causing her to almost walk directly into him. "What's going on?" he asked seriously as his eyes bore into hers.

Amelia moved her brows toward her nose and smiled a crooked smile, feigning confusion, "Nothing."

"Come here," Derek insisted as he gently grasped her arm and led her into a meeting room.

Perturbed and upset that her brother had spotted her, Amelia sighed, "Derek, I have a lot to do."

"It's your husband's first day home from a tour of duty and it's your baby's first birthday. Why the hell are you here?" Derek inquired as he folded his arms and stood a couple feet from the door.

"I told you…nothing. Owen and the kids are reconnecting and we're not celebrating Annabelle's birthday until the party. I wanted to sneak in and catch up on some charting while I had a chance. I'm backlogged," Amelia lied.

"No, you're not. I'm the head of your department. I get a report every day that tells me which physicians have charts backed up. What are you running from, Amelia?" Derek prodded.

Indignant, even though Derek's guess was spot on, Amelia tried to worm her way out of the conversation. Steadily she stated, "I appreciate your concern. I really do, but I need to check on a patient." She attempted to walk around her brother so she could open the door.

He leaned back on it and asked, "Which patient?"

"What?!" Amelia snapped.

"I'm your boss and I want to know which patient you're going to examine," Derek declared in a matter-of-fact manner.

Amelia huffed and looked up at her brother. "I need to step out. Please move," she said in a measured way before biting her bottom lip.

"No," Derek smirked. "Why…are…you... running, Amelia?" Derek asked slowly once again, knowing his sister well enough to know his hunch was correct.

Amelia reached for the door handle and grabbed it even though Derek was leaning on it. "We're not little kids anymore, Derek. You can't force me to stay somewhere just because you're bigger and stronger." Her tone was beginning to sound anxious.

Without moving, Derek mused aloud, "I was thinking of stopping by with some lunch for Owen later. What do you suppose he'd like to eat?"

Amelia stood to Derek's side, still holding the handle. She did not respond.

"Maybe I'll call him up," Derek suggested as he pulled out his phone and dialed Owen's cell.

"Do whatever you need to do, but let me through this damn door," Amelia hissed as she called his bluff.

"Hey! Owen. Welcome back. How are you?" Derek exclaimed as Amelia looked away with folded arms and deep breaths. The room was quiet as Owen responded with a teasing tone that was actually very serious, I'm good. Really good. Hey, what's the big idea calling my wife in on my first day back? Are you that desperate to fill the surgery board?

"Me? I didn't call her in?" Derek stated. "She is here though. In fact, she's right here beside me. You want to talk to her?" Owen said yes and Amelia grabbed the phone with the angriest look of contempt Derek had seen in ages. He sat down in a chair and grinned, providing an "I told you so" big brother visage.

"Hey, O. Callie still there? Did everything check out?" Amelia began as if there were no problems.

"Why are you there?" Owen asked flatly. "Derek just told me he didn't call you in."

"Yep," Amelia quipped in her familiar manner, "Saw your message on my phone. Funny – I was just about to return your call."

"What's going on, Amy?" Owen sighed.

"Hey, you know what? My brother is extremely cheap and I'll bet he has one of those so-many-minutes-a-month cell plans. I'll call you right back on my phone, Owen. I don't want to use up all Derek's minutes. Love you." Amelia hung up the phone and, not caring if she broke it, threw it down onto the conference table. "Thanks a lot, you ass."

As she grasped the door handle, Derek pointed out, "I only told the truth, Amy. What about you?"

She walked out of the room and stormed up to an on-call room. Once she locked the door, she broke down and began screaming and sobbing into a pillow.

Unbeknownst to Amelia, Karev was asleep when she entered the room. He woke up slightly when she slammed and locked the door, but tried to go back to sleep. When he heard her crying, he thought to himself, Well, crap. I can't stretch out and sleep while she's falling apart and I can't sneak out without her seeing me.

From a top bunk, he gently asked, "Hey, Shepherd, everything ok?" He sat up and then slid down onto the floor, approaching her and putting an arm around her awkwardly. She fell into his body and continued sobbing. Alex grimaced and held her, praying his pager would sound.

After she'd been sobbing for five full minutes, Alex whispered, "Hey, what could be that bad, huh? Your husband is home. He's safe. He survived. You've got great kids and a sweet house. And you're a freakin' neurosurgeon." He tried to tease her a little as he grasped her tightly and loosened his grip a few rounds.

Amelia kept her head resting on Alex's shoulder, but turned to wipe her tears. "I'm sorry…I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were in here. Alex, you're being incredibly kind."

"What else would I do?" he asked with shock. "You wanna talk about it? If you don't, that's fine. Or I could go find someone you do want to talk to…like, I dunno, your brother or someone."

"I don't want to talk to my brother," Amelia sputtered with a mixture of laughter and disgust. "He is among the last people I want to see."

"Umm…ok." Alex nodded, not sure what else to say or do. Alex and Amelia were colleagues but not necessarily close friends. He didn't know how to read her or what to say that would help. "Well, can I do anything to help?"

Amelia wrapped her arms around her knees and looked forward, "I'm expecting way too much. Every time he says anything, I over-analyze it. I've scrutinized his parenting like a Mama Bear…" her voice trailed off.

Alex, his arm still around her shoulders, nodded gently, "Hmmm…why?"

Looking up at Alex with surprise, Amelia echoed, "Why?"

"Yeah, why are you doing that to him and to yourself?" Alex wondered aloud.

Her lips began to quiver and she started to cry again. Alex squeezed her closer and offered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Really."

"It wasn't you," Amelia chuckled. "I know why…I just don't want to say it aloud."

"Oh, good," Alex nodded with relief. For once, he hadn't been the source of tears in his midst. Alex wanted to assure her she could trust him if she wanted to unload, but he didn't want to offer some mamby pamby platitude. Instead, he fumbled as he half-suggested, half-kidded, "I'm… uh… I'm a doctor. If you want, you can be my patient for a few minutes. Then anything you tell me is bound by confidentiality and all that."

With a deadly serious tone and little affect in her voice, Amelia disclosed, "I hate him for coming back hurt."

Alex thought to himself, Holy crap. Where's psych when you need them?! What do I say to that?! What would Mer say…?

Amelia continued with the same tone, "I love him. I will always love him. I used to love our life together. Now, my whole life is turned upside down. I'm pregnant, I'm running a home, raising five kids and now dealing with a husband who can't walk or care for himself. I'm furious, Alex. I'm absolutely furious and it scares the hell out of me."

After pausing about 15 seconds, Alex celebrated lightly, "Dude, you're pregnant? Congratulations."

Amelia looked down and without emotion confirmed, "Yeah. Wish I could be excited about it. Instead, it just feels like one more burden in an already overly-burdened life. Then, when I feel like that, I end up hating myself and feeling like the most selfish person and the worst mother in the world."

"Dude, that's a lot to carry around. Shepherd, I think you need a shrink," Alex named the need.

Amelia laughed and looked at Alex, "Yeah…yes, I do. A whole cadre of them."

"So where are you supposed to be? Seems strange you're here on his first day back," Alex declared.

"I guess I'm supposed to be at home, celebrating our daughter's birthday and hanging around my husband," Amelia admitted.

"But you're here…" Alex noted.

"I'm here…" Amelia echoed. "I'm here because when things get tough, I panic and I run. I'm here because I froze and panicked about not knowing what to do."

"If I were Owen, hearing that would probably be helpful," Alex mused.

Amelia hugged Alex, wiped her eyes again, and stood up. "Thanks, Alex."

"Yeah, sure. No problem," Karev shrugged. "Take care, ok? Be nice to yourself."

Amelia looked back and smiled, thinking that sometimes the best advice comes from those who also need to hear the same words.

~~~~~~~~~~'

When Amelia drove into the garage and walked into the house, she was happily shocked to see Owen sitting on one portion of the couch while the kids jumped on the other couch cushions that they'd strewn all over the floor. Even the twins were playing as they crawled around hitting the cushions.

Everyone was laughing so loudly that nobody heard Amelia come in. She walked to the kitchen and said hello to Lynne, who was making lunch. Amelia poured herself a glass of water as she watched the kids explode with joy. From her left, she heard Owen call out, "Hey, Aims."

She looked over and smiled, speaking in a regular voice that he couldn't hear, "Hi."

Owen patted the cushion next to him and moved his head to the side to beckon her over. She walked over and sat down on the edge of the cushion, focusing on the kids and their frenzy as she set her water on the coffee table. Enveloping her in his grasp, Owen pulled her back to him and kissed her cheek. He leaned his head against hers and offered, "I'm glad you're home."

She started to tear up and Owen looked at her with tender concern, "Aims…what's up?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"What do you mean? You don't have anything to be sorry about as far as I'm concerned." He reassured her.

She rested back on his arm, looking out at the water, as she continued, "I lied, Owen. I'm sorry. I didn't need to go in. I ran. I panicked and I froze and I ran."

"I know," Owen nodded confidently. Amelia leaned forward and looked at him with curiosity. Owen added, "Amelia, I know you. I've seen you tapped out before. We can talk about it later – we'll sort everything out. For now, let's just hold one another and watch this wayward brood of ragamuffins destroy our couch cushions."