She wolf in the closet: Leah's imprint

by KamilleBlack

Leah Clearwater imprints on a girl. This causes several conflicts and drama... There are some A\N and stuff that really shouldn't be there. I tried to take them off but I couldn't find 'em all...

4. Chapter 20 to 29

Chapter 21

I went down the stairs to my laughing family. I chewed on my lip contemplating how to put this. I couldn't help feeling at tad bad, but if I listened carefully, I could hear Danielle crying two houses away. Did they really expect me to ignore that? I couldn't. If it was some random kid crying then I could easily ignore it. But I couldn't ignore Danielle. If she ever heard me crying, she would have come running.

Lindsey noticed my contemplating expression and her shoulders slouched, "What?" she grumbled.

"I...kind of have to head out for a second." I said in a rush.

Lindsey sighed in frustration.

"I'll just be a minute."

"What's wrong? Why do you have to go?" Lindsey questioned, seeming annoyed. She wasn't helping me to not feel crappy.

"It's Danielle."

"Are you—" She raised her voice in disbelief. She looked like she was about to get up but she quickly calmed herself down and took soothing breaths.

Next to her, Seth was shaking his head. It was a discrete movement, clearly meant for just me to see. If the situation wasn't borderline catastrophic, it would've been funny. Seth actually had more experience than me in something. He'd had a decent amount of girlfriends in the past couple of years. As for me, well, Lindz was my first girlfriend. Seth was trying to help me out; telling me to shut up and sit the hell down or Lindsey would gut me like a fish. But Danielle was crying.

"Lindsey, please don't be mad." I begged.

"I'm not mad." Lindsey continued eating her food. She glared at her plate violently stabbing her food before jamming it into her mouth. She reached over to my plate and took my pancake, "It'll taste like crap once it gets cold."

I opened my mouth to say something but snapped it shut. I knew that Lindsey was right to be just a little mad. I had invited her to meet my family. Now I was abandoning her for my more or less ex-girlfriend (kind of). I would've been much angrier in her place. So I decided to let her cool off and be thankful she wasn't fuming. I didn't take a jacket; I wasn't going to be outside for long. When I opened the door, I felt someone tap my shoulder.

Lindsey seemed even more annoyed from this close proximity, "Don't take forever!" she hissed in a low whisper, "And seriously, just...remember I'm here okay. Don't forget that I'm yours." Looking deep into Lindsey's eyes, I could see the vulnerability in them. Like any woman would be, she was nervous of me being with Danielle—a perfect specimen—instead of with her.

I lifted he chin, bringing her lips to mine. She kissed me back meekly, clearly not over her panic attack.

"Lindz, Danielle's my friend and she's hurt. She needs me."

"Yeah, I know, that wasn't what I wanted to hear though." She bit her lip and headed back to the dining room. "Anyone want seconds of something?"

I sighed and kicked on some shoes, then I ran through the sloppy rain to Danielle's house. Her parent's car wasn't in the driveway so I let myself in.

Her cries had gotten quieter, as if she was under control. I walked up the three steps in front of the door and turned into her room. She sat on her bed, holding a pink cushion to her chest and squeezing it tight. She looked up at me and her eyes red, her cheeks and nose were pink, white streaks of dried up tears stained her face. Danielle looked so ashamed of herself, it nearly sickened me.

I made my feet move me forward so I could sit next to her. I wanted to comfort her but she looked so pained that placing a hand on her seemed like it would cause her even more pain. I took a deep breath, and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. I half expected her to flinch or wince, but her expression didn't change.

"Danielle, what happened?" I asked her softly.

Her face went blank first, as if she was that psychic bloodsucker and was having a vision of some sort. She then shuttered frantically before heaving onto herself and reaching for her trash bin that to vomit violently into it.

I grimaced and shied away for her. I had just eaten and I wasn't sure if my stomach could handle the scent. Smelling it was inevitable—stupid super senses—all I could do was hope I wouldn't barf as well.

"It was so disgusting." She said, taking her face out of the trash, "It was really just awful. Letting Aaron do that to me," she trembled, "I'll never be able to look at myself in the mirror again."

She stared straight ahead. She really did look disgusted with herself. She cringed in her own skin as if she wished she could peel it off and burn it. I was having trouble understanding what she was referring to.

"Danielle, are you talking about the sex you had?" I asked unsure. She couldn't have been talking about that. I mean, I was one hundred percent lesbian and in love with my girlfriend but Aaron wasn't a bad looking guy. He was actually attractive to most women if not all. I recalled what Lindsey had said, something about it being much harder for Danielle than it was for her. Was this what she meant? Had she really seen this coming?

"Well there was a penis, and a vagina, but I could hardly call it...sex."

"Oh, God, Danielle! What did he do to you?" I grab her shoulders and forced her to look at me. This wasn't normal. Her thoughts and feelings about the sex she'd just had—the virginity she'd just lost—

I had completely forgotten that she was a virgin! That made everything more important—more urgent. Even the sensitivity and the flood of emotions that came after a girl's virginity was lost weren't this extensive. This just wasn't right unless it was more or less aggressive or even forced. I couldn't think straight. I shook Danielle slightly, "Danielle, what happened?" I demanded, not liking my own assumptions.

"I can't believe I still remember," She mumbled, "I had a lot to drink afterwards but once I sobered up and got over the hangover, it all came crashing down." She finally looked at me, "I'm breaking up with him. There's nothing else for me to do. If I stay with him, he'll find out..."

"Maybe that's best Danielle, maybe it's time to stop lying."

"No, it's him the problem, not me...right?" She asked hopefully.

My eyes narrowed a bit. She couldn't have been asking me this. There was nothing I wanted more than to make her feel better but she wasn't being fair. I couldn't tell her it was Aaron the problem. He wasn't necessarily the problem. There wasn't really a problem in the first place.

She misread my hesitation, "You're right. Aaron's hot. But I can't see it. He's gross-ish. I should be attracted to him. What's wrong with me?!" She plopped back onto her bad.

"Nothing's wrong with you. You're just not into—"

"I'm such a freak!" she shrieked into the cushion she had pressed against her face.

Her words hit me hard, nearly giving me a whiplash. Freak? That was far from what she was. Far from what I was. This was hard enough—accepting myself and my homosexuality—without her negative attitude and shame towards the subject. I took it more personally than she intended me too. What did she expect? She thought she could call me, Lindsey, Leslie and the whole gay society freaks? We were a strong people and it was people like her—the ashamed closeted homosexuals—the gay gay-bashers—that held us back. We weren't freaks. We were a strong and proud people.

I got up. I couldn't begin to describe how insulted I was, "Freak? Thanks Danielle."

Danielle grabbed my wrist and I jerked it away violently. She stared at me in shock, "Leah, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean? Please, I'm dying to know."

She was a little baffled and looked down. She seemed speechless. That was enough for me.

"Goodbye Danielle." I left her bedroom and was about to descend the stairs when she called me and, again, grabbed my wrist. It was easy for me to jerk away from her. I didn't love her like I loved Lindsey. That became clear to me at that moment.

"What the hell, Leah!" She yelled, "What do you want me to say?! That I'm proud? That I'm happy this happened to me? Because I'm not."

"Don't you get it." I turned around, "This didn't happen to you. You're not a victim. You were born this way."

"It sure doesn't feel like it." She said, "I never ever looked at a girl before. Until you came back screaming you gayness in everybody's face. You lit up my freaking light bulb!"

"So this is my fault?!" I shouted, absolutely appalled. She was acting ridiculous. I felt the heat rising inside of me but I didn't have to concentrate very hard to not phase.

"Yes! It is! You did this to me and then you left to be with her!" she jerked her finger in the direction my house was in, "If I were with you, I'd be great, but I'm not with you. I'm alone! That's not where it ends, that's not where you stop ruining my life!"

That was a slap in the face. I winced.

"You come here! With her! And I'm thinkingHey, maybe she's going to suck. I mean, I knew she'd be pretty, but I was hopping she'd be a b**ch or something. But no she's nice and gorgeous and smart and funny. Basically Miss Perfect. And the way you look at her...kill me dead already. I just wanted to get back at you." she started to become more sober—agony replacing her fury, "I wanted you to feel a fraction of what I was feeling...but I ended up losing." He shoulders slumped and tears began running down her face.

I didn't make any movements towards her. I couldn't remember the last time we fought like this. It was probably when I had just phased and had to stay away from her. She hadn't appreciated the silent treatment. I remembered how close I was to phasing that day. How close I was to hurting her and possibly scarring her, like Emily.

"And I'm so frustrated." She went on, "I wish I could make this whole thing disappear. I wish I could love someone other than you. I wish everything could be...good—not great, just good. I wish I could find a guy that I could find just a little cute and not throw up and get drunk every time he touches me. Is that too much to ask?" She hadn't meant for me to answer her question but I did anyways.

"No, it probably isn't but life isn't like that. Life isn't the Wizard of Oz. You can't just wish for something that you had all along." I made are-quotes at the all along part, "This dream you have—the all of a sudden I'm straight dream—is stupid. You have to stop treating this like it's a curse. You know Lindsey? It's hard on her too. Her parents are major douche-bags but you know what, she deals with it. She came here and she met everyone and dealt with it. It's hard for her too, but she's not like this." I looked at her up and down, feeling disgusted as well. I turned my back on her and opened the door.

"She's not alone." She whispered.

"You wouldn't be alone either."

"You could never be there for me like you are for her." Danielle grumbled.

"I'd do everything I can. Clearly, that's not good enough for Princess Danielle." I slammed the door behind me and found myself fighting back tears. I didn't like that I was crying for her. I hoped Lindsey would notice that I was crying. The rain should cover that perfectly. I dragged my feet all the way to my house and opened the door looking at the floor.

Lindsey was sitting on the sofa watching TV. She glanced in my direction and I guess my face wasn't as composed as I wanted it to be because Lindsey got to her feet immediately and ran to me.

"Leah! Are you okay?" She grabbed my face and turned it from side to side to observe me. She expected to find a bruise of some sort. She didn't sigh in relief when she found nothing; she just forced me to look at her.

I knew that my mom and Seth were watching from behind Lindsey but I only saw her.

"Baby, please tell me." She begged.

Her words made me start crying, "I never want to see her again." I sobbed.

Lindsey gasped and wrapped her arms around my waist and hushed me, "Shhh...it's okay, you don't have to do anything you don't want to." She soothed, "You never have to see her again." She promised and part of me hoped that she could really promise that.

Chapter 22.

"Please come back with Leah next time." My mother begged Lindsey after hugging her tightly.

Lindsey hugged Seth as well, "You'll see me again, I promise."

It was extremely heart warming to see Seth's reluctance to let Lindsey and I drive away back to our home in Seattle.

"That was so much fun." Lindsey said as I pulled out of the driveway, "I'm really glad I came."

"Yeah," I agreed with her, glad she was taking my mind off Danielle. She made me so angry! I didn't understand why she had to act like she was the only person who had ever gone through something like this. I went through it and millions of other people around the world had gone through it. Why did she always put herself on this pedestal? Her problems were more important than everyone else's. I was so angry that I couldn't help dragging it out. All the other nice and selfless things Danielle had done for me in my life were all just a blur. Now she was just a drama queen. "Meeting the parents can be fun." I added and hoped Lindsey caught the direction I was going in.

Her sighed showed that she did, "Leah...I know you're upset about what happened with Danielle but that's not going to change what I feel with my parents."

"I understand where you coming from but at the same time, 3 months from now, your parents don't know about me, how is that supposed to make me feel?"

Lindsey chewed her lips, "I guess I understand...I mean you do exist..." Lindsey's face was thoughtful and I didn't think to bother her. I tried not to let my mind drift off back to Danielle but it was hard if I wasn't looking directly at Lindsey. I decided to listen to Lindsey's steady heartbeat and the smell of her that surrounded me.

"Okay, how about this?" Lindsey started, "We go over to my parent's house Saturday after work."

"Oh, Lindsey that sounds great!" I was already excited that Lindsey was accepting me into her family but my excitement came to an abrupt halt when I saw Lindsey sheepish expression, "But...?"

"But let's not tell them just yet." She said in a rush.

"Lindz..." I groaned.

"Then after, when I decide to tell them I'm gay I'll be like 'Remember that nice girl Leah? She's my girlfriend!'"

"Will that make a difference?" I asked, my voice hopeful. That made sense. If by some miracle her parents liked me, they would be less angry that I was the girl who would be sticking around.

"No. It won't," Lindsey admitted, "But we could try!" She chirped.

"God! You're parents suck!" I said and before I could feel bad or take it back Lindsey giggled.

"My dad isn't that bad, he's just whipped. He should've stayed with Brenda, never should have gotten with my mother."

I had forgotten that Lindsey's mother was her father's second wife. His first wife was Brenda. Lindsey said that she wished Brenda was her mother instead of Debby. She never understood why her dad would have left Brenda for her mother. It was probably to make his own parents proud by dating a black woman. She'd never heard something so stupid.

"How are your parents going to react when we tell them?"

"There's no we in this, Leah. I don't want you there when it happens."

"Lindsey, don't be ridiculous—"

"It'll be hard enough without my mom yelling at you and blaming fou for all this, which is exactly what she'll say. Disgusting b**ch." She muttered the last part under her breath.

I glanced at Lindsey and caught sight of her wiping a tear off her cheek, "What did she do to you?"

Lindsey sniffled and laughed weakly, "Nothing I could summarise in an hour and a half so let's just..." She shook her head, "I won't tell her till it's the right time; like Christmas, New Years or, I don't know, her birthday." She tried to joke.

That was the saddest thing I had ever heard. It was also confusing. Lindsey didn't care what her mother thought of her but deep down she wanted to be accepted by her, at the same time, she knew that her being gay would upset her mother and wanted to tell her at the moment where it would ruin her entire day. She wanted to spite her mother so much that she was willing to go out of her way to do it. I was so disturbed that I laughed a few breaths too late.

Lindsey's phone rang and she answered it on its second ring. She seemed excited to speak to the caller, "Hi, James! Oh my God, I was just thinking of you."

Her brother laughed, "Yeah, I feel like we haven't spoken in a really long time. I miss my little sister."

"Ran out of people to annoy?"

"Actually, no. I've just been having these...feelings in my stomach that something was wrong so I dropped by your place and no one was home than Debby called and wanted to go shopping so I didn't call till now."

"Debby never brings me shopping." She murmured to herself in realisation. She took a deep and continued, "Don't be silly James, I'm fine. I was at Leah's family's house since Friday."

"Oh, so everything's fine with you?" He checked in protectively.

"Yeah, James really, I'll be home on Saturday and we'll eat together. I'm bringing Leah." She announced and I felt a weight being removed off my shoulders. She'd announced it which meant she couldn't weasel out, hopefully.

"I have a date on Saturday. Can't you come Friday?" he complained.

"I'm pulling out my braids after work. Can't you cancel?"

"No, it's with Linda." He said the name as if her identity made a difference.

She gasped, "The loose one with the big boobs?" Lindsey guessed.

"Exactly and it's date number three, if you know what I mean."

She laughed, "Okay, be late, I won't hold it against yah."

He laughed as well, "Thanks, Lindz, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, James,"

"Ever think of moving back in? I'm sure Deb won't mind giving up her gym—"

"Deb doesn't have to give up anything." She spat, her mood making a complete one-eighty. That seemed to be a horrible cliché. Your kid moves out for college and you turn his or her room into a personal gym. That seemed a little harsh. "Love you James, but I can't live with that woman anymore."

James sighed, "She's not that bad," he defended.

"You think that because you the favourite." She rebutted.

"I'm can't be the favourite, I'm not even her biological son."

"I think that's why she loves you more." She grumbled.

"I disagree,"

"Nobody cares James."

"Lindsey, Deb loves you and I'm sure she misses you too, even though she hasn't said it in words."

"That's comforting," she said sarcastically, "Did you call to defend her James? Because I wasn't mad at her till you reminded me how much she sucks."

"You're always mad at her," he mumbled, "Oh, she just came in, do you want to talk to her?"

"Is she standing right in front of you?"

"No,"

'Then bye, James, love you. See you Saturday." She hung up the phone and sighed. She played with her phone in her hands than clutch it to her chest, "She turned my room into a personal gym." She said each word slowly, "I hate her so much." Lindsey almost looked like she was going to cry and I watched her cautiously. She just took several deep breaths and she was herself again. "So, uh, do we have carrots at home? I'll make a carrot cake. It's Debby's favourite and, um, yeah."

Lindsey looked down at her lap and she looked so young. She was already young—19 wasn't necessarily a grownup—but as she ran her finger through her hair and fought back her tears, she looked like a little girl and it broke my heart. She didn't have to admit to wanting her mother's approval for me to know that she wanted it. Her I-don't-care attitude was all an act to protect herself from getting hurt. I almost wanted her to lie to everyone. If her family finding out about me was going to jeopardize her acceptance then I didn't want it but what life could we live if she didn't tell them? Lindsey was the one who wanted to get married and have kids. Did she want it all to be a secret life? That didn't sound as alluring.

"Lindsey," I said.

"Mm-hm?" she said not looking up.

"You're not alone in this. I'll be there for you every step of the way." I offered her my hand and she took it instantly, twining her fingers with mine.

"I can't wait to get home so I can make love to you." She whispered.

My heart stuttered and I felt my face heat up, "O-okay." I uttered, my throat had swollen shut completely and I prayed there wouldn't be too much traffic.

Chapter 23.

Friday, the day before we were supposed to go eat over Lindsey's parent's house, Lindsey told me not to pick her up from work. She had an appointment at the hair stylist to "remove her braids" whatever that meant. So instead of driving to Hooters, I just went home and caught up on some studying.

The week had been a bit stressful. I was trying to cut Danielle out of my life completely which was hard since she kept calling. I'd been dodging her phone calls for the past week. I didn't like Danielle anymore. I didn't want to have her be a part of my life. She was too much drama for me to handle. I had my own problems.

I was sitting on the sofa with my nose stuck in a big book when I heard Lindsey's familiar footsteps approaching the door. I got up and opened it for her. She had set several bags on the ground and started searching for her keys. She looked up at me and smiled breathtakingly.

I gasped at her new hair. Lindsey's hair was black and very shinny. Her hair was shorter without the extensions, just reaching her shoulder, but it was very full and she looked even more gorgeous if that was even possible. The new bang the hung from her forehead made her look like a runway model.

"Wow, Lindz, your hair!" I reached to touch it but then thought better of it. I didn't want to mess it up so soon.

Lindsey smiled and looked like she was going to blush, "Yeah, thanks." She giggled and turned around to pick up the several plastic bags by her side.

I frowned and helped her by taking them all from her. If she wanted to go grocery shopping she could've called. It must have sucked to lug around all those bags while riding in a public bus.

Lindsey and I had leftovers for dinner and we studied in silence for the rest of the night. We were both obsessed with having perfect grades. We were pretty much a tie in who was more motivated. I registered for this scholarship and wanted to prove myself worthy of it. I was pretty old for just starting in college. As for Lindsey, it wasn't common for cheerleaders to get scholarships in anyone's book. Football players, start athletes, but not cheerleaders. She ceased to amaze me.

The next day I went to my classes and work after school, driving Lindsey to Hooters before heading off to GAP. I got to work earlier than I expected so decided to buy some jeans for me and Lindz since I got an employee discount and all. I figured I'd wear them at Lindsey's parent's house tonight. I wasn't nervous yet though I was sure I would be later. Lindsey's parents seemed so complicated and hard to please. I mean if their scholarship daughter was the least favourite then these people must have had pretty high standards.

I was kind of nervous about the lying part though. We weren't going to be upfront about what we were to each other and that seemed wrong to me. I felt as though it would cause less confrontation if we just went out and tell them I was more than just a roommate. But Lindsey wanted us to take it slow with them.

Lindsey told me to get dressed before picking her up from work. Apparently her parent's house was near there which was one of the reasons she took the job. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to dress. I didn't like wearing dresses unless it was really necessary. I thought I'd just be myself as corny as it sounded. If Lindsey's parents were going to hate me I wanted them to hate the real me. I was used to that.

I threw on my new jeans from GAP and I white shirt that marked me as feminine. I thought this outfit was me. I drove to Hooters to pick up Lindsey.

She was already fully dressed to go out. Her outfit made me feel underdressed. She wore a navy blue dress, leggings and, of course, heals—that couldn't be good for her ankles. Her lips shone with lip gloss and she wore silver and blue eye shadow, making her look absolutely amazing. I felt insignificant next to her.

"Oh, crap! That's what you're wearing?" Lindsey said.

My shoulders slumped when she confirm my worries, "Should I change?" I asked reluctantly. I didn't understand how some girls could change their outfits five times a day. Two was more than enough for me and I really didn't feel like fishing for a third outfit for the day.

"No, no, it's fine," she sighed, "You could wear a garbage bag if you want, my mom'll like you more than she likes me." She grumbled under her breath and her head snapped up when she realized she said it out loud, "You're always pretty, Leah." She said to me.

I looked at her worriedly, "Lindsey...I'm sure that's not true," I said taking her hand.

"Oh, Leah, don't worry about me. It's my family, I'm not nervous at all!" She lied. It was obvious that she was a tad nervous. I didn't understand why though. We weren't telling them anything. It wouldn't be any different from when she brought some of her high school friend's home to study and they stumbled upon her parents. As far as her parents were concerned, I was just a friend. That bothered me a little but I had to give Lindsey credit for what she did do. We hadn't been to the bar in a few weeks but Leslie knew that we were together, Lindsey's friends at school sort of knew—they had to assume something was up—Lindsey was trying her best. I couldn't help but compare her to Danielle who was probably looking for another boyfriend so nobody would suspect her deep, dark, shameful secret. I used to feel bad for Danielle but now her actions irritated me.

"Okay..." I said and started the car and drove onto the highway, "How was your day?" I asked trying to distract Lindsey. It probably would've added to her stress if she sweated off her make-up.

"It's was good...I told the girls at work today."

I instantly knew what she was talking about and I felt so proud of her at that moment, "Lindsey! That's great! I'm really happy for you. How did they react?" I didn't hide my excitement for her to go on. Since she hadn't announced it more glumly, I figured it went pretty well.

"They were surprised but other than that; they didn't care." She giggled, "Elli said she already knew."

I laughed, "Really?" That sounded unlikely. This Elli must have been really observant if she knew Lindsey was gay before Lindsey knew it herself.

"No, Elli's a smartass." She giggled hard, like a little girl. I wasn't sure what was so funny but Lindsey laughed until her eyes were tearing and she was gasping for air. I perhaps should have worried if she was having an anxiety attack but she seemed so happy and bubbly that I didn't even ask her if she was okay. I couldn't help laughing at her. It wasn't a mocking laughter, she was just so cute and her laugh made me feel good.

Her laughter didn't come to a halt when I stopped at the cute brick house that was sandwiched between two other, identical houses. I had only been here once before but I remember the address still.

Lindsey stepped out onto the sidewalk and waited for me to follow her. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight, "It doesn't matter what happens in there, okay?" she assured and kissed me, "Oops, I forgot the cake!" she went back to my car and brought a plastic bag to the green front door. She had a key in her hand and unlocked the door. "Hello!" Lindsey called and I walked into the house behind her.

The place hadn't changed at all in the last several months. The walls were still painted the same dark red, the painting of the woman and her child still hung over a small decorative table. Of course the stairs hadn't moved from the front of the house.

I had an extreme case of déjà-vu when Lindsey's brother strode down the stairs. Unlike the last, he was fully clothed with a light blue button down shirt. Good looks ran in Lindsey's family because James was a very handsome man, closer to my age than Lindsey was. He jumped down the last three steps and pulled his little sister into an uncomfortable looking bear hug. Her face was perfectly situated under his armpit. Whether he did it on purpose or not, it was kind of funny.

Lindsey's arms flailed behind her brother as if she was suffocating. She shoved hard against his chest and he let her go.

"Ew, thanks for the armpit." Lindsey wiped her nose in disgust, "AXE, much." She commented and I smiled at how at ease she was around her brother. He did smell like AXE though. It wasn't bad, of course I preferred softer scents—women perfume. "Yo, I thought you had a date with Linda." She the name with a lot of suggestiveness in it and waggled her eyebrows.

James grinned, "I did. Ever heard of a quickie?"

Lindsey burst into laughter and shoved her brother's shoulder causing him to stumble a bit and laugh as well, "Dude! You're freaking awesome!"

Watching Lindsey with her brother was very entertaining. She never acted like this with me. When she was with her brother, she actually looked like a...a lesbian. I snickered to myself.

They both looked at me as though they'd forgotten I was here. Neither of them seemed embarrassed of their inappropriate display to have in front of a guest. They both had the same level of delight on their faces when they remembered my existence.

"James, you remember Leah." Lindsey gestured to me, slowly transitioning back to her lady-like self.

"Of course," James and I shook hands, "Good evening, Leah," James' smile was warm and welcoming. I returned it as well as I could.

"Hi James."

"You bastard!" Lindsey shouted, "You didn't even notice my new hair." Lindsey played with her hair flirtatiously causing James to roll his eye.

"I did notice; I didn't care." James replied.

Lindsey frowned and punched him hard in the shoulder.

"Lindsey, that's not at all lady like." A woman's voice noted. The voice was soft and sounded so classy, like the voice a queen or a president's wife might have. That's how I recognized the voice, the fact that it sounded a little better than everyone else.

We all turned simultaneously to the right face the opening to what I presumed was the dining room. The woman that stood there was beautiful for her age which was obviously in her fifties—she looked much younger than that. Her thick black hair was huge around her small round head. It appeared to have a silky texture, softer than Lindsey's. The woman didn't have wrinkles though she looked like she should have. She was obviously one of those people that used Botox. It didn't look bad though, she wasn't one of those people that used too much Botox and looked like they couldn't frown to save their life. Looking at her, she seemed like a nice woman. I, personally, couldn't hate her by only looking at her because she looked so much like Lindsey. Her eyes were just as dark as Lindsey's.

She wore a blood red dress that matched her blood red lips. She had on a pearl necklace and earring. Her smile was welcoming but not nearly as warm as her step son's smile was, "Lindsey, don't you say hi to your own mother."

Chapter 24.

Lindsey's lips twitched hesitantly before stretching into a huge grin, "Hey mom!" she walked over to her and stopped a yard away, taking both her hands in hers.

Lindsey's mom smiled and looked at her daughter. From where I stood, they looked like a perfectly normal mother and daughter. I thought it was weird that they hadn't hugged but who was I to judge their relationship. It was hard to believe that Lindsey loathed the woman she was smiling at. Lindsey's mother's smile wasn't as loving as I thought it would be since it had been weeks since she'd seen her daughter but it wasn't a sneer like Lindsey often described it.

"Mom, I want you to meet my roommate." Lindsey dropped her mother's hands and skipped over to me to take mine. She smiled reassuringly at me and I followed her to her mother, "Mother, this is Leah Clearwater."

I tried to make myself smile but my heart was pounding on the inside of my chest. Looking at this woman and the perfection she knew she was, I was positive that she was going to hate me.

"Hi Misses Craig," I smiled and kept my hands at my sides. She hadn't even hugged Lindsey so I assumed she wasn't one for physical affection. I wasn't going to complain about that. I didn't love hugging strangers either.

"Leah Clearwater." She repeated my name. I couldn't describe her tone but I guess I could say it was condescending. "I've heard absolutely nothing about you."

"That's funny because I've heard so much about you." I replied. I hadn't meant for that to slip and I bit my tongue instantly. I saw a twitch in Lindsey's mother's eyebrows but her face kept completely composed. Her poker face was better than Lindsey's; it was easy to see where she'd gotten the talent.

"Well, I guess that kills one half of our discussions."

Lindsey laughed at her mother's unfunny joke, "Okay, well, Lee, come meet daddy." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me past her mother. We entered a dining room, the walls were red here too and the ceiling was high. In the center on the ceiling was a big, expensive looking chandelier made out of crystals. The rainbow coloured shimmer made me squint my eyes. In the center of the dining room—just below the chandelier—was the large, oval dining table. The dark wood went beautifully with the red wall.

We kept walking straight ahead into the kitchen that was, shockingly, white. The island in the middle of the room was a cream colour. The delicious scent of well baked chicken filled the air in this room. I smelt the brochettes with various meats—chicken, steak, pork, shrimp—all mixed with grilled vegetables.

"Daddy!" Lindsey cried and let go of my hand.

The man that had his back turned to us spun away from the dishes he was doing and his face lit up when he saw Lindsey who ran to him and threw her arms around his waist. Lindsey's dad smiled but hesitated to hug her back with his wet, soapy hand.

"Linny, baby, I've missed you so much." The grin on his face was huge and Lindsey let him go. He turned around to pick up a towel and wiped his hands. His accent was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. It sounded a bit French, then I remembered that her father was the Haitian one, that explained his accent.

Lindsey waited impatiently for his attention to get back to her.

He said something enthusiastically in a language I didn't recognize. I was surprised when Lindsey replied in the same language, one I had no idea even existed.

"English in the house please," Lindsey's mother interrupted, entering the kitchen, "Especially when we have guests. It's rude."

Lindsey bit her lip and gave her dad a sad look before shaking her head clear, "Daddy, you haven't met Leah," she took her father's hand and pulled him towards me. She seemed more excited to introduce me to him than she was to her mother. It was visually obvious. "Daddy, Leah—Leah, daddy. I mean John."

I looked at Lindsey questioningly. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to call him John or Mister Craig. Lindsey's mother hadn't objected to me calling her Misses Craig...

Lindsey nodded eagerly and I smiled, bringing my eyes back to her father. "It's a pleasure to meet you John,"

"Leah, it is nice to meet you. James told me you were pretty but I am still surprised." He took my hand and lightly kissed it. It was a polite gesture and I couldn't help smiling at this nice man.

"I heard you were a pleasure to be around. You don't disappoint."

He laughed and squeezed my hand before releasing it, "Please, sit down, I'll serve you. Sit." He ordered.

"Oh, daddy," Lindsey rolled her eyes and pulled me towards the dining room. She passed her mother, ignoring her presence. "God, she sucks," she muttered and pulled out a chair for me.

I sat on the red cushioned chair—it was so comfortable.

Lindsey sat at my right and held my hand under the table, "Isn't daddy the greatest?" she said.

"Your father's really nice."

"And my mom is horrid." She mumbled.

"She doesn't seem so bad..."

Lindsey scoffed quietly, "The night is young." She promised.

James sat next to Lindsey, "Please be nice," he begged, "Debs hasn't even said anything mean yet." He defended.

"She told me and daddy to stop speaking Creole. She's just jealous."

"Well, yeah, she and dad have been married for 20 years and she still can't speak his mother tongue."

"That's no excuse."

"Lindsey, be nice," James and I both sighed at the same time.

Lindsey pouted causing James to laugh at her. I wanted kiss the wrinkle between her eyebrows so she'd relax her face and honour the whole room with her smile again but I knew that friends didn't do that to each other and to everyone here; Lindsey and I were friends. It kind of felt like I was taking a step back. I constantly had to remind myself that this was us moving forward. I was meeting her parents.

Lindsey's mom, Debby, took a seat at the head of the table while John came in with several plates in his hands. He held two in his hands and two were balancing on his forearms. He reminded me of a waiter at a restaurant. I wondered why Lindsey's mother was just watching him lugging all those plates and several saucers were on the counter destined to be brought onto the table.

I was about to offer my help when Lindsey got up and took two plates from him. She placed them in front of me and her brother. On the plate was the brochettes, chopped potatoes, baked chicken...my mouth watered.

"Lindsey, you're sort of a guest here. You shouldn't be helping with the serving." He mother protested but didn't get up to help.

"Somebody has to help," Lindz muttered under her breath.

"Pardon?"

"I'm a waitress, mother. I don't mind."

"Oh, yeah, you work at that restaurant Hookers." Her mother recalled.

My jaw dropped.

"Hooters, mom," Lindsey corrected.

"Same thing."

I glared at Debby and understood that she most definitely wasn't nice. I clenched my hands into fist to stop them from quivering. The beast in me was building up. It was hard to stop being a werewolf. It felt against my nature to stay in human form for so long. Phasing would have been a relief. Not at that moment, but any moment. I wanted to find a forest where I could strip down and let the heat fill me then explode into the monster I once hated.

"Debs, no..." James whispered to her alone.

I looked at Lindsey who was frozen in shock for a nanosecond before blinking hard and picking up the saucer with the chicken. She sat between James and I, taking her napkin and spreading it on her lap. The sadness was evident to me in her face and I wanted so badly to take her hand again but James was watching her hands as well.

Lindsey's mom started eating her boneless chicken with a knife and fork. Again, I saw where Lindsey had learnt her proper etiquette from.

John took his seat at the other head of the table, closest to James, "Leah, eat, don't be shy. Eat like a pig if you must." He pushed.

Lindsey laughed, "Daddy, she hasn't even looked at her plate yet." She giggled.

I smiled, happy that Lindsey's dad picked her up before I had to, and ate my chicken breast. My eyes widened in surprise. It was clear where Lindsey learned her cooking from because it was definitely not from her mother. From where I was standing, Lindsey's mom was lazy. "John, this is really good." I worshipped.

John beamed and ate.

Dinner at Lindsey's house was nothing like a meal at mine, or even at our home. It was very quiet. No one spoke a word. The only sound was the utensils scratching against the plates. The silence wasn't the kind of silence that I'd had at my house—the food being so delicious that no one spoke in fear of losing the food—it was just a boring silence. Not awkward, just boring.

"Why did you cut your hair?" Lindsey's mom asked several minutes into the meal.

"I didn't really cut it, mother. Those were extensions before." Lindsey replied after swallowing.

"Huh. You shouldn't wear a href=.com/cgi/set?id=13414001that dress/a anymore, it makes you look pregnant."

"It's a style mom and I disagree with the pregnant thing."

Her mother huffed. This woman had a serious problem. Was she not loved enough as a child because she was being a royal b**ch.

"So, Leah," Lindsey's dad's thick accent caught my attention, making me pull my glare away from her mother, "What do you study at the university?" he seemed genuinely curious and it would've felt wrong to disrespect this man so I answered.

"I study biology and animal science."

"Leah's going to be a big animal doctor. Like doctor Dolittle." She chirped.

"That's hardly a profession." Her mother muttered.

"It is too!" Lindsey almost yelled.

James and I both stared at Lindsey in surprise. I'd only seen the couple of rude things her mother Lindsey but James had seen them for years. He seemed as surprised as I was to see Lindsey raise her voice to Debby. I guessed it was rarer than I thought. We found Lindsey's burning point. Debby could be nasty to Lindsey all she wanted but, for her own safety, she should stay the hell away from me.

In my chest, my heart squeezed.

Chapter 25.

That night ended better than I thought it would. Lindsey didn't kill any one, that was great. I didn't explode into a giant wolf and kill someone, that was always the cherry on top of a Friday night. Lindsey's mom had even given me a hug, which surprised me. She hadn't given Lindsey a hug, which really surprised me.

Lindsey squeezed both the men and refused to let them go till her mother said it was inappropriate.

We walked to our car and I felt huge accomplishment. Now I was a family friend and in a week or two—a month max—I'd be Lindsey's girlfriend and hated by all! It didn't sound bad at all. As long as they knew, I didn't care if they liked me or not. I doubted Lindsey's dad was capable of hatred and James seemed like more of a guy that would applaud a lesbian couple instead of shun them. Lindsey's mom on the other hand...she'd be harder to get to.

I opened Lindsey's door for her and she stepped in. I walked to the driver's side and started the car.

Lindsey pulled her hair over her shoulder, covering most of her face. I looked at her in confusion. She stared straight ahead, chewing a piece of gum she'd gotten from her brother. She chewed with her mouth snapping open, which was out of character for her; she never chewed with her mouth open. It was then that I noticed that she wasn't talking to me. Purposely.

I was shocked at first. I tried to think back at something I might have said or done to offend her but came up blank. So I tried thinking of things I hadn't said or done and came up blank. I sighed internally. This was definitely the down side of dating woman. They were so complicated. One second they were happy, the next second they were pissed. I knew that once I asked Lindsey what was bothering her she'd say Nothing/i . I asked her anyways.

"Lindsey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered. That was close enough.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"You should start driving or they're going to think something's wrongs."

I sighed and started to the car. My mind drifted to other things—normal things. Exams were coming up, and then it would be the holydays. Were we spending Christmas with my family or with hers? We would probably spend Christmas separately. I remembered that Lindsey might be the outcast of her family by then if she told them when she was supposed to. Just like that, I went from normal thoughts, to confusing, frustrating, lesbian life thoughts. I hoped that one day, I wouldn't have to worry about who did and didn't know, that I could just go through the day without fearing to embarrass someone. I sighed again.

"She's up to something Lee." Lindsey said once I was on the highway. "She can see that we're close and she just...She can't handle it." Her hand balled into fist at her side.

"What are you talking about?"

"She hugged you. She's trying to make me jealous."

I looked at her from the corner of my eye and she wore a hard mask. Her expression was almost angry.

"It's not going to work though." I said, "She can't tear us apart...Right?" I added when Lindsey didn't say anything.

"Yeah," Lindsey nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek, "I so don't care what she thinks." She flipped her hair and pulled down the mirror to fix her hair.

We were quiet for a while. We were both kind of tired. It was late and tomorrow we had work and studying to do. Sometimes I wished I could quit my job. I really hated working. Sometimes I just wanted to sit home.

"What do you want for Jesus' birthday?" Lindsey asked in hopes to lightening my mood.

"You first," I grinned. I didn't know what I wanted; maybe if I heard her idea I'd know what I wanted.

"Um...a guinea pig!" she said after a short hesitation.

A gust of laughter bursted through my lungs. She couldn't have been serious, "Pet's aren't even aloud in the building."

"It feels good to be bad." She giggled.

"No pets—ugh—especially not rodents."

"What do you want for Christmas?" she prodded.

I thought hard. What was the one thing I wanted most in this world? I had already gotten Lindsey, I couldn't imagine anything better. I didn't have to dig deep to find what I wanted, "We'd be together for around three months by then. I want them to know."

Lindsey heart stuttered uneasily and her voice was shaky when she finally spoke, "Anything."

"Really?" I said surprised. I was prepared for an argument that I was going to lose no matter how much I complained.

"Yeah, I promise that by Christmas...they'll know." She swallowed hard before finishing her sentence.

"Woh! Don't make promises you can't keep Lindz." I laughed and Lindsey took my hand, her face was serious.

"Leah, I promise." She said fiercely. "As long as I have you, I can make it through anything."

My heart squeezed at what she said even though I knew Lindsey too much to know that wasn't exactly true. Lindsey was so young and she couldn't honestly see our world that way. I didn't want her to know the doubt I felt for her last statement so I concentrated on not crashing the car.

Lindsey was dead tired when we got home. She rushed through getting herself clean and plopped onto her own bed. I couldn't help feeling a tiny sting from that. She usually slept with me in my bed. Debby was getting to her. That wasn't even fair! I didn't even like the hug! Women were impossible sometimes.

I just sat on the sofa and turned on the TV. I surfed through the channels five times before giving up and deciding there was nothing good on.

It was then that my phone vibrated in my pocket. I answered right away, not liking the tickling sensation it gave me in my hands, "Hey Seth,"

"Hey Leah..."

I frowned. Of course he couldn't just be calling to ask me how my day was. He had something urgent to tell me. Well, that was so nice of him. "What now?" I thought there might be some wolf duty that would have to be done. It couldn't have been that though. There were so many wolves in La Push these days.

Seth laughed nervously, "Hey, Leah, have you spoken to Danielle lately?"

"Ugh! God no. Finally, she stopped calling."

"Leah, things are getting really bad with her. Now she's—"

"Seth, I don't care. I'm done with her. She's not my problem anymore."

"But Leah, she's...she's an alcoholic now."

"Well—" I froze. I didn't want to let it bother me. I wanted to be rid of Danielle. But hearing that she was an alcoholic hit me hard and for a second I couldn't speak. "What am I supposed to do?" I asked harshly, fighting back tears. I hated that I still worried for her.

"I—I don't know...I just thought you should—" Seth stuttered nervously.

"This is just Danielle being her mellow dramatic self, Seth. Don't pay her any mind."

"It's kind of hard when she—"

"I don't care anymore, Seth! If it has anything to do with her; I don't care." I hissed and hung up the phone. Why couldn't Danielle just be a normal person and let everything go? She knew that she was doing this to me every time I heard of her but she kept doing all these things. She was so selfish! Why couldn't she just leave me alone?!

I couldn't breathe. My hands trembled and I tried to stifle my sobs with my shaking hands. I felt my heat rising to the point of discomfort. I tried to remember the last time I was this emotional. I couldn't stay human. I wasn't strong enough to do it.

I hadn't phased in months and it was hard to stay this way—to stay human. Harder than I'd thought it would be. It was so uncomfortable and painful. There was no way to describe this level of discomfort. It was like...not coughing when you desperately needed to because you'd just...chocked on hot sauce. That was a terrible analogy and my mind babble didn't help me regain control, it just made me more frustrated.

I curled up into a small ball and couldn't stop my body's quivering. The heat built up inside of me and I could almost feel myself giving in. Why was I putting myself through this? So what if I phased? I could just step outside and rip through my clothing. It would feel so good!

I knew that once I'd phase, I'd run home, to La Push. I would nurse Danielle back to health. Whatever was wrong with her, I'd fix it.

It angered me that that was the first place I'd go. Another shutter rippled through me.

"Leah!" Lindsey cried.

I hadn't noticed how hysterical my sobbing had gotten. Lindsey must have called me five times. I hadn't heard her because I was worrying about Danielle. She was complicating my life!

Another shutter.

"Leah!" Lindsey screamed and she dropped to her knees next to the sofa. I had my back turned towards her. That was probably best. She shouldn't see the agony that was etched onto my face. Both the physical and the emotional—they piled on top of each other.

"Leah! Oh God, Leah!" Lindsey sobbed and tried to straighten me out of my ball.

She was so close to me. I couldn't risk hurting her. The shaking stopped instantly, as if I'd hadn't been shaking in the first place.

I gasped through the pain and sat up. My face felt so hot, I was sure I was pink now.

Lindsey forced my chin up and held my face securely between her hands, examining me through the tears in her beautiful eyes. "Leah, are you well?" her voice cracked with worry.

She was so beautiful it took me a second to find coherent words, "I'm fine."

"What was that?" She asked horrified.

"It was—" I cut myself short. I didn't know how to respond. She wouldn't believe the wolf thing and I didn't want to talk about Danielle. I wanted to forget about her. "I'm fine...just come here please." I patted the sofa. My throat tightened and Lindsey saw that I was on the verge of crying.

Her expression was shocked when she obeyed and sat next to me.

I rested my head on her lap and began to sob. Lindsey patted my head without saying a word. I sobbed in my imprints lap for a long time. It made me feel horrible. I was crying about another woman and Lindsey's patients and understanding made me notice even more that I didn't deserve her.

"Leah?" Lindsey whispered when my hiccups stopped.

I cleared my throat, "Yeah,"

"If I ask you a question...will you be completely honest with me?" She asked unsure, "It's kind of stupid...but I have to ask."

I sat up to look at her. Her face was sad, "Of course," I answered automatically. I ignored the pounding in my chest and gave her my undivided attention. I was already trying to think of ways to pay her back. Maybe a brown guinea pig...

"You've said it a million times...but I always think you're joking..." she took both my hands, "Leah...Are you a werewolf? Wait!" she rushed when I opened my mouth, "Whatever you say, I'll believe you, so no jokes...Are you?" She squeezed her eyes shut as if she was a waiting for me to slap her.

I didn't answer right away. I couldn't believe that she was actually going to believeme if I confirmed it. Oddly, the possibility of lying crossed my mind. What if Lindsey didn't know? Our life would stay the same. The perfection wouldn't alter. Why would I want her to know that I was a monster?

I sighed, I had to tell her. I made the decision quicker than I wanted to because Lindsey wasn't breathing. "Yeah, I'm a werewolf."

Lindsey exhaled and nodded quickly, "Okay...I believe you." She looked at me and smiled sheepishly.

"You believe me?" I asked incredulously. I'd told her dozens of times that I was a wolf and now, all of a sudden, I say four words and she believed me? That didn't seem correct.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I should've believed you from the beginning. I'm sorry."

"Why? Why now?"

She laughed nervously, "Well, you were shaking like crazy, that's not exactly normal..." she trailed off and her smile faded at my curious glare, "I—I saw something...a long time ago." She swallowed hard, "I guess that was when I knew the world wasn't the way we thought it was." She whispered.

"W-what do you mean?"

She swallowed hard, "Vampires." She uttered.

Chapter 26.

I was speechless for several seconds. Had she just said vampires? That couldn't have been right. I refused to believe what she was telling me. I didn't know the rest of her story but my thoughts ran wild. Did she know vampires? Had she met vampires? There were so many options it made my head spin but the most important was that she knew vampires existed. At least she thought she did.

"Vampires?" I repeated.

Lindsey giggled and looked down as if she was blushing, "I know, it's silly. Forget I said anything."

"No!" I objected, panicked she wouldn't go on. I was too worried to be left in the dark—too curious not to know.

Lindsey chewed on her lip, "Did you read in the paper a few years ago; there was this gang that was going on this awful killing spree in Seattle? My friend actually lost her parents because of it..."

My heart stuttered at the memory. I remembered that. Death toll on the rise, police fear gang activity was printed in big bold letters followed by the story of the killings and a list of dead civilians. There was no specific age group that was being murdered, just random people in Seattle. I couldn't help realizing that Lindsey lived in Seattle and that she could've been killed as well because I knew very much that it wasn't no sticking Gang Activity that was causing all the hubbub.

"Yeah...I remember,"

"Well, Leah, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't a gang...I think it was vampires." She whispered.

"W-why would you think that?" I was feeling light headed, afraid to hear her story. I didn't want to know how close Lindsey had gotten to death. How close I had gotten to never meeting her. It made my chest hurt.

"I was walking down...I can't remember the street, sorry, I try to block it out as much as I can."

I nodded so she'd know it was fine and go on.

"I was alone; getting back home from cheerleading practice. It was fall time so it was already dark at the early time that it was. There was a man walking in front of me—yards away but I could see him—then out of nowhere someone—no, something fell from the sky. I froze where I was—I'd just seen someone fall from the sky, I was surprised. Anyways, the girl stopped right in front of the man so he stopped. Like I told you, it was dark but I was still able to see them—"

"See what?" I cut her off, unintentionally. I was sitting at the edge of my seat and she was killing me with her slow talking.

Her eyes were full of terror, "Her eyes." She said, "They were...glowing. They weren't bright but I could still see them. That caused me to take a step back. It all happened so fast. She was tiny—like a kid—pounds lighter than the guy but she pounced on him...and he screamed. Her teeth were sparkling white. I heard her hiss before she..." Lindsey swallowed hard, "Bit him."

"Oh my God."

"I ran away. I was too naive and young to try to save him. I thought I was dead, that she'd try to find me too. She didn't. I ran back to school and had someone pick me up."

"D-did you tell anyone?"

Lindsey didn't answer right away. Her expression was pained now, "I told my mother."

I grimaced, "That must have went well." I muttered.

"Yeah," Lindsey nodded and looked down. "I had to beg not to be sent to therapy, but I know what I saw." She said fiercely.

"I believe you!" I assured her, "Lindsey, I know you're telling the truth." I took her hand and kissed it.

Lindsey looked completely chocked. She blinked hard to clear her vision. She couldn't believe her ears. She'd perhaps never heard anyone tell her that. I couldn't imagine how she must have felt; telling everyone it was blood suckers killing the people instead of gang members.

"You..."

"I believe you." I repeated, "We took care of it. Me and my brothers, we fought the vampires, we killed them all. It was kind of fun, like a war with mythical creatures." I grinned back at the memory. All those blood thirsty vampires were taken by surprise by our bigger, better group. Thinking back at that scary but fun memory, I wondered why the hell I was giving up the wolf life.

"Are you f**king with me? That's not funny and so not true." Lindsey said.

"Lindsey, I'm not...f**king with you." I grimaced. I didn't like cursing in front of her. I felt like she deserved more respect than that, "All that really did happen. With me Lindz, you're safe from everything."

"You're really a werewolf aren't you? And you know about the vampires...you've met them." She summarized everything in a mutter. She swallowed hard before looking at me. She surprised me by jumping on me and kissing me urgently. She grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me closer. Both our hearts raced like we were running a marathon, "This is amazing. You're amazing!" she breathed against my lips.

I lay down and wrapped my arms around her. I'd forgotten everything we were talking about. I'd even forgotten we weren't on my bed. When I rolled over, we both fell right onto the floor.

"Ow!" Lindsey laughed and I rolled off of her laughing too, "Okay, it's late, we should go to sleep."

I gasped for air, "I'm not tired. If anything, I'm wide awake." I rolled over and grabbed her face, kissing her as passionately as I could while still breathless.

Lindsey giggled, "I really am tired. How about tomorrow?"

I groaned. I wanted her niw

"Sorry, I want to—I do!—I just can't." She apologized and got up. She offered me her hand.

"No, I'm good. I'm just...going to sulk for a bit."

Lindsey rolled her eyes and skipped to my room, I hadn't noticed how she looked in her tank and short shorts. I groaned again.

Lindsey popped her head out of my bedroom, "What was upsetting you before?" She asked curiously.

I sat up and sighed. I wasn't in the mood to lie to her, "My brother called; Danielle's an alcoholic now." I said in a bored voice, I didn't want Lindsey to hear how much the fact hurt me but I had a feeling she already knew.

"You don't want to talk about it?" She guessed.

"You read me like a book, baby."

Lindsey's smile was concerned and she went back into my room just to come back out five seconds later, "Seth's a werewolf, isn't he?" I just nodded, "And Jacob?"

"He's the alpha."

"Huh..." she nodded, "Rachael?"

"No."

She hesitated, "D-Danielle?" she stuttered.

"I'm the only girl."

Lindsey couldn't hide her relief from me, "That makes you the queen then."

I grinned, "I guess so."

"Goodnight babe, I love you."

"You're my reason to live Lindz."

"I'm your imprint." She recalled and went into my room, turning off the lights and crawling into my bed.

I couldn't possibly fight the smile that spread across my face. I was beyond happy. The whole Danielle thing was now the last thing on my mind because Lindsey knew. That felt so good. There were no secrets between Lindsey and I now and it felt nice. I wondered how much her knowing would change our lives.

The next morning, I watched Lindsey sleep. She was so peaceful and beautiful in every single way. I wasn't able to keep my hands to myself so I lightly brushed her cheek causing her eyes to flutter open.

She didn't say anything and she didn't have to. The love and adoration was clear in her eyes. I gazed into her dark brown eyes that always made my heart melt and thanked God that she was mine. Lindsey was the best thing that ever happened to me and I was so excited for us to start our life together. How would our life together begin though? I figured it would be after her parents knew. It seemed like every time we got one problem out of our way—Max—it would be replaced by another problem—Lindsey's folks.

"I have to pee." Lindsey grimaced, embarrassed to have ruined the moment.

I laughed. She was so cute. I couldn't ever be mad at her. I couldn't think of one thing she could do to make me angry. Lindsey was perfect.

Lindsey scampered to the bathroom and I started up on some breakfast. While the eggs fried in the pan, I started reading my bio text book. I held my book in one hand and scrambled the eggs with a spatula in my other hand.

"So a werewolf, huh?" Lindsey snuck up behind me and took my book out of my hands. "That's fascinating," She closed the book, "You can't just leave me in the dark with all this." She grinned.

"We'll talk about it over breakfast." I arranged kissing her soft lips and taking my book from her.

"The holidays are coming up." Lindsey said hopping onto the counter near the sink. "What are you going to do?"

"I haven't really thought of that yet. I thought we'd just, I don't know, spend it together..." I glanced at a tense looking Lindsey. She was chewing on her bottom lip and smiled sheepishly when she found me looking at her, "What are we doing for the holydays?" I asked. She'd clearly already made plans for the long break we'd be having.

"I want get a tree today—something small. We have a spear tree at my house; I forgot to pick it up. I was thinking we'd spend Christmas Eve together and then I'd spend Christmas morning with my family. You can go down to La Push for a few days. I'm going shopping on Boxing Day with Leslie, I'll ask daddy for shopping money."

I was kind of upset about the part that excluded us spending Christmas together, as a couple, but I didn't want to disagree with her. I put the eggs on a plate before they could burn.

"Oh, Lee, don't be like that." She begged, hopped off the counter and spun me around to kiss my pouting lip. "We'll have Christmas Eve, and it's just a few days..." Lindsey swallowed hard, "That's the imprint, isn't it? The fact that not seeing you for five days hurts so badly?"

"Five days?!" she caught me off guard with the length of her absence. Five days? There was no way I was going through with that. I doubted I was even able to go that long without seeing her. Five days. That was way too long.

Lindsey rubbed my cheek and hushed me soothingly, "It's okay, it's okay, and Christmas is far away. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." She kissed me again and I melted. She knew the exact things to say to me. It wasn't hard to remember that today was a happy day. We were getting a tree, Lindsey knew I was a wolf and Christmas was far away.

Chapter 27

I woke up with Lindsey parched on my chest. I was surprised to find her already awake and looking at me with a huge grin. A few seconds after looking at her face, I concluded that the smile was creepy.

"What?" I asked, feeling self-conscious.

Lindsey made a little squeaking sound, "It's Christmas!" She jumped over me and almost fell off that bed if I hadn't caught her. Her ankle was knotted up in the sheets. She giggled and slither out of bed.

She was only wearing an old t-shirt which she pulled over her head to reveal her perfect, naked body.

I sat up, liking the beginning of this Christmas Eve but instead of hopping back in bed, she picked up her real pyjamas from off the ground and put those on instead.

"Leah," she pouted when I didn't get up right away, "Presents." She whined like a baby.

I laughed. This was surprising. Last night Lindsey was a real woman and now she was a kid excited on Christmas—well, Christmas Eve—morning. "Okay, okay, presents." I picked up some sweatpants from off the floor. Lindsey ran out of the room and I got dress. Her gift from me was in my closet. I bought it last night, I thought the later I bought it the better.

I took the small, holed, cubical, brown box that had a handle and placed it into a bigger red box that already had a box on it. I tried not to move to suddenly or quickly with the box in my hands.

Lindsey was bouncing next to our decorated tree that was all red and gold. She had a rectangular wrapped gift in her hand and she plopped onto the floor with her legs crossed. She smiled sweetly. She was so gorgeous that it took every muscle in my body to not run to her. I walked slowly and sat on the ground next to her.

"Here." She offered me the golden wrapped gift.

"You first." I said offering my own present. I was getting anxious, I wanted her gift out of the box fast, "Be careful, it's fragile." I warned her.

"Okay..." Her smile grew even wider as she reached for the box in my hands. She set it on the ground between us and my heart stuttered at how roughly she'd put it there. It probably wasn't that hard but I still worried. She removed the lid and raised an eyebrow, "A box within a box? Seriously?"

I laughed.

She lifted the brown box out by the handle—her eyes narrowed at the several large hole at the side—and pushed down on it, it opened like a box of Munchkins at Dunkin Donuts. She gasped and her heart sped up, "A guinea pig!!" She squealed taking out the fairly large guinea pig and examining it with a smile, "Oh my God! Leah! I love it." She hugged me with the hand that wasn't holding the rodent to her chest, "I didn't think you'd actually buy one! I'm freaking surprised."

"I'm glad you like it. I was afraid you'd be a little mad."

"Oh! Gosh! Is it a boy or a girl?" She moved the black guinea pig with white spots around in search of some confirmation.

"Boy."

"Oh! Cute! What should we name him?"

"He's yours." I reminded her.

"No, he's ours. Like our little baby." She smiled warmly, "It'll be like practice. Names...Well he's black and white...we could name him Dalmatian or Oreo...I don't know, I suck at this..." she sighed.

"Okay, for now, we'll call him guinea pig."

"Hi, Guinea-Pig!" She hugged him to her chest before putting him in the large red box. She picked up my gift and pushed it towards me. She didn't seem as excited to give it to me anymore, "Compared to Guinea-Pig; this gift is crap." She pouted.

"I'm sure I'll love it." I assured her.

"There are two parts." She informed me, "You'll get the other half on New Year's." She winked.

I chuckled and started unwrapping my gift. To my surprise, it was a book. "Huh," I said before turning it over to see the cover. I felt my heart swell inside my chest because this gift was absolutely indescribable. Sure, I'd gotten cell phones and mp3 players, walkmans and gift cards on previous Christmas's but this was really the most thoughtful gift I'd ever gotten. It was titled First Timers edited by Rachel Kramer Basel. True Stories of Lesbian Awakenings was also printed on the hardcover book. I felt my throat tighten but swallowed the big lump in my throat. I'd cried enough for one month.

"I know," Lindsey sighed, "It's a cheesy gift. I was going to get you something cool like a Nintendo Wii or something but then, well, I saw this and...I thought we could read it together and...You don't like it."

"You're right Lindz, I don't like it."

Her face fell.

"This is the best gift I've ever gotten. I'm in love with this present and I love you for getting it for me."

"Really?" Lindsey beamed.

I grabbed her face and kissed her softly, "I am so serious. I love you, more than anything in this world."

"Leah." She breathed and leaned forward to kiss me. She tangled her fingers in my hair and climbed on me, "Oh, Leah," she pulled me into a deep and passionate embrace. My mind swirled and all I felt and saw was Lindsey and I. It was a beautiful image—one I could look at forever—I would look at it forever.

"I think I know what the second part is." I whispered, placing my hands at her hip and pulled her closer to me. She gasped at the speed my hands had gotten from her face to her sides. She still wasn't used to me having nothing to hide including my strength and speed.

She giggled, "Oh, you do?" she asked teasingly.

"Yes and I love it. Telling your parents Lindz, that would be the greatest second half to anything."

Her heart stuttered than returned to its fast beating pattern, "Oh, yeah, that too." She said. I felt a little bad for Lindsey. She would be the perfect liar—she hadn't froze or stuttered at all—if I didn't have the super hearing of a wolf and could hear every thrum of her beating heart that tended to stutter or quicken when she lied. She was so close.

"Lindz..."

"Nothing, Leah, jeez," she got up, "Don't you trust me? I'll tell them." She was annoyed and started picking up the wrapping paper. She was so distracted that she even picked up the box with Guinea-Pig as she headed for the garbage.

"Lindsey, Guinea-Pig." I reminded her.

"Oh," she gasped, "Sorry, baby, mommy almost forgot you." She threw the papers in the garbage and turned to face me, "Does he have a cage or does he sleep in the bed with us?" she teased.

"He has a cage." I got up and took Guinea-Pig from her. I grimaced, I wasn't crazy for the smell of any house pet. I cradled him in one arm and got my cage out of my closet. I'd already assembled the thing a week before buying the actual rodent. I brought it into Lindsey room and set it on her armoire. Over the chipped wood, I put Guinea-Pig in his cage and cracked a window open so he wouldn't stink up the place, "Have fun buddy." I mumbled before shutting the door close and finding Lindsey frozen in front of the garbage. Where I'd left her. "That was the second half, right? Coming out about us? Lindsey, it won't ruin the surprise, I'll be happy with it."

"No, Leah, it's not that. I just...forgot, is all. Then you reminded me and I remembered."

"You...forgot." I repeat the fact. I wanted this day to be perfect but my shoulders slumped anyways. "How could you forget?"

Her laugh was dry and humourless. It wasn't as hard as a scoff but it was close to that, "Haven't you noticed, I tend to block out scary and traumatic things."

"So your parents knowing about us is scary andtraumatic." I said.

Lindsey finally looked up from the trash bin with a surprised expression. Shock by how sensitive I was getting. I wasn't sensitive, that was just a touchy subject for me. I knew that Lindsey loved me—I wasn't blind or stupid—but how was I supposed to know whether she was ashamed of me or not? I wasn't nearly as sweet, amazing and perfect as she was.

"Leah," she sighed, "That's not what I mean...you just have to understand how hard this is on me." She came towards me and for a quick second, she reminded me of Danielle.

"I've been through it too." I repeated the same thing I had said to Danielle—Queen of the Drama Queens.

"Well, Leah, unlike you; I don't have an amazing mother and a loving little brother—a family who will love me no matter what. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it was easier on you?"

"Easier?" I said incredulously, "It was not easier on me. I was just as scared and confused as you are, maybe more so. It's hard on everyone Lindz and unlike you, I was alone."

Lindsey sighed, "Are we fighting?"

"Yes, Lindsey, this is more or less of a argument."

"Okay, then. You think I'm not telling my parents I'm gay. I am. Tomorrow morning while helping my mom with breakfast—she cook 3 times a year—I'm telling her, she'll be the hardest but I can take her. Once she's nice and pissed, I'll tell my loving"—she made air quotes—"brother and father who may or may not be on my side. If things don't work out—which I'm hoping it will—I have a few gay friends that have my back and can buy me alcohol."

"Which won't solve your problems." I said bitterly, not liking when Lindsey said things that I'd heard come out of Danielle's mouth. Her being a drunk really put a damper on enjoying a nice mojito.

"It's a joke, Leah." She skipped over to me, "Better than sex with Max." She giggled and tried to toughen me up with a shove to the shoulder.

I grimaced, not thinking the joke was funny in the least.

"Well, not better..." she pondered.

"Okay, enough." I stopped her and shuddered. I knew all too well that Max was good in bed. "I trust you Lindz. I trust you're going to do the right thing. You're a good person."

"I'll tell them. Now are we good?" She smiled up at me, so sweet that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, we're good,"

"Don't be upset about anything, okay? I'm going to miss you so much. Five days." She shuddered.

"You won't have to miss me." I took her hands and pulled her closer to me, then entwined our fingers, "Don't send me away and I'll stay."

She seemed tempted but shook her head, "Leah, you should spend time with your family and I should spend time with mine. You'll come on New Year's Eve and we'll be together with my entire family." She promised.

I still didn't like it. It still felt too long. From tonight to the New Year's Eve party. That was way too long for my taste but I had to realise that this was clinginess. Even though I would feel like I was dying, I had to remember that it was all in my head.

"It's all in our heads." Lindsey said what I was thinking, "We're both smart and very sexy, we can do this." She hugged me, "I need you to believe that we can do this."

I kissed her hair.

She looked up at me and enveloped my lips with hers. All of my worries bursted into flames for the time being. I pushed the torturous thought of being away from Lindsey and concentrated on the now, the today, the fact that Lindsey was here, beautiful and mine.

Chapter 28.

Lindsey's POV.

I kept my million dollar smile on the whole drive from home to my parent's house. I didn't want to go; I didn't want to do this. I knew it was the right thing to do; to spend the holidays with my family. My brother missed me and dad was getting lonely. As much as I enjoyed thinking of nothing but myself, Leah and school, it was time that I faced the world, also known as my mother.

"You sure you don't mind keeping Guinea-Pig?" I asked Leah. She was bringing Guinea-Pig—my new baby boy—to her house for the next five days since I couldn't take him. My mom would flip over a couch, a table and a love seat if she knew I was keeping a rodent in the house.

"I don't mind at all. Seth's going to love him."

"Okay," I nodded. I stared at her profile as she drove on the highway. I wanted to drink in as much of her features as possible before we'd be separated. My stomach lurched. I felt a premonition of what was to come. Being away from Lee was going to be torture. I could only think of one thing more petrifying; tomorrow I was telling mother. My head made up all these crazy assumption that would happen when I told her. I wondered if she would cry from the shame...

I hated that all my ideas were negative. Why couldn't I be positive about this one thing? Maybe my mother would surprise me. Maybe she'd be mixing the dough to make the dumplings and I'd be helping her like we always did on Christmas. She might do something that would make me laugh—I tried to remember the last time mother had made me laugh—then the tension would dissolve like things always did with mothers and daughters. I might feel comfortable knowing that we were alone—that the boys were busy watching action movies on the flat screen. Then I'd just spit it out. "Mom?" my heart would be pounding in my chest but I'd keep thinking of Leah and how much I loved her.

She might even hear the strain in my voice. A good mother can hear when her child needs her, "Yes, Lindsey, what's wrong?" She could care. Actually want to know what was upsetting me. Her hand might stop pressing the flour and she'd look up at me. Concerned.

I would chew on my lip and stutter the word "well" half a dozen time but instead of snapping at me like she usually did and tell me to spit it out and that ladies know how to articulate she'd wait patiently, her face full of the understanding that I always saw in Leah's eyes. Then, when I'd finally just say it, "I'm a lesbian." Her eyes would widen at first and it would be quiet for a few countless seconds. I had just told her something unbelievable and shocking but in the end, I was her daughter and the fact that I was gay wouldn't change that.

"Oh, well, you know that doesn't change anything right? Pass the salt." She could smile warmly and change the subject in a nice way that wouldn't hurt my feelings. She might not care at all.

My throat tightened. I wished so hard—harder for that than I'd ever hoped and prayed and wished for anything—that that was possible.

"You okay Lindz?" Leah asked , seeming a little freaked out. She moved her head from side to side to see if I was staring at her.

I blinked quickly, "I'm fine, I just spaced out."

Leah laughed, "'Cause you were just staring at me blankly. Border line freaky, Lindz."

I laughed. I hoped it didn't sound as fake to her as it did to me.

Leah parked her car in front of my house. The porch light was on and so was the upstairs light. I didn't want to go. I tried to find comfort in five days not being really long. That was false though, five days was very long. When I was bored, time seemed to drag.

I turned to face Leah and smiled apologetically. I knew she didn't like being away from me—I didn't like it either—but at least she'd be with her awesome family. "Help me with my bags?" I asked. "I can use some of your strength."

Leah had a sad smile but agreed anyways. She helped me bring in the gifts I had bought for my family.

"I'm home!" I announced when I opened the door. I set my small suit case next to the front door and escorted Leah to the living room. Like most of the rooms in this house, the walls were red. I liked red too but mother over did it when she decorated this house. The tree was 7 feet tall and beautiful as usual. We never decorated our trees ourselves, we had it professionally done. As a child though, James and I would take turns putting the star at the top of the tree. Like every year, the green tree was uniformed in gold ornaments. I had to admit that it looked great with the living room.

My father and James were sitting on the white leather couch watching TV on the plasma screen. My dad got up when he saw us enter the room and helped us set the gifts under the tree. He'd even gotten Leah a gift. My dad was so sweet. My throat tightened but I didn't cry—I rarely did. My mom had taught me that crying wasn't lady like and one should only do that in private. I was studying psychology so I knew that was ridiculous but I was so used to holding back tears that I just couldn't do it in public. I couldn't even remember if Leah had seen me cry...

"Leah, let me show you my room." I grabbed her wrist and recuperated my suitcase for the door. I pulled her up the stairs and the first door in front of us was my childhood room. I opened the door and felt my heart drop into my stomach. I nearly collapsed and grabbed Leah's arm for support.

I had completely forgotten that mother had turned my room into a gym. My once violet coloured walls were now painted indigo. Indigo! Bright blue. She could have just left it violet! There wasn't much of a contrast in colour. She did this to spite me. All my furniture was gone. Now, there was a treadmill, a fitness ball, a plasma screen TV next to the door facing the treadmill...It was a gym!

I clenched my fist. There was a small twin sized bed in a new white bed frame. How thoughtful of her. The thought was sarcastic.

"Oh, now I remember." Leah mumbled.

We were both quiet. I felt so abandoned. Had anyone even fought to keep my room the way it was? I was sure that it was a hell of a happy day when I announced I was moving out. I was so angry, so betrayed and hurt. I bit my lip to keep from screaming.

"Lindz..." Leah started to apologize.

"I don't care," I flipped my hair as I stepped into the room and shut the door behind us, "I moved out. It's not my room anymore." I had to clear my throat, the lump in it was getting bigger and bigger.

"Lindsey, I'm so sorry."

I had my back turned to her. My hands on the door knob—staring at it. Something was off about this knob. Then I remembered that the door knob I had grown up with—a spherical gold coloured knob—was replaced by a diamond shaped, crystal knob. Was this even my room? It looked nothing like it.

Tear spilled from my eyes and I wiped them up before turning around with a reassuring smile, "Don't be Lee. I just forgot that my room had been...redecorated." That was an understatement, my room had been destroyed and rebuilt but I didn't want to worry Leah. "Just....come here." I asked and wrapped arms around her waist, hugging her. She was so warm. She was so comforting to me, I almost bursted into tears. I didn't want her to leave. I also didn't want Leah to be there when I came out. If I was sure what would happen, I would have her there, but I didn't know what was going to happen. What if mother erupted and blamed it all on me? Leah would be furious. What if she phased? Or worst, what if mother blamed this on Leah? If I hadn't met her, I'd still be having meaningless sex with Max. My mother would probably think that was better than having a dike as a daughter. It stung to think how many time Max had called me that.

It was probably hard for people to believe it, but Max was my friend at one point. I did regret hurting him. I regretted all the fights we got in and all the times I'd cheated on him. In my defence, he cheated first. I had used him more than he deserved though and he shouldn't have seen me with Leah. That must have been hard for him. I guess it's in moments like that when you learn who your real friends are.

Like Leslie, she was a real friend, and the girls at Hooters, they were real friends too. How could I forget Leah, she was the truest friend of them all. I looked up at her and stretched up to kiss her. When we kissed, I felt myself melt and meld into her body. I kept in mind that she'd be gone for five days. I brought one hand to the back of her neck and pulled her closer. I was going to miss her so much.

"I love you." I whispered against her lips.

"I don't want to leave." She didn't stop kissing me. It seemed like she had no intention to ever stop.

"I don't want you to leave either." I admitted, "I never want you to go."

"Let's not do this. Let's just stay together. I don't care where."

That sounded amazing. Not being apart, just being together, "Leah, I—" my sentence was cut off by my own gasp. I heard the front door open and Leah and I were both too shock to even move. Both our heads whipped in the direction of the door and I was having a wicked case of déjà-vu.

"Oh my God." Said James. His expression was one of utter shock. His hand was frozen on the new door knob.

I backed away from Leah and took a step towards the door, "James don't—"

"I—I'm sorry for, um," he just left the room.

I was frozen too. I couldn't move, or speak, or anything. I had to move, there wasn't time for me to stand here with my mouth hanging open like an idiot. "S**t!" I hissed, "Holly s**t!" I walked towards the door then away from it. What was I supposed to do? I started passing, "Leah, why didn't you say something?"

"What? I didn't hear him."

"What do you mean you didn't hear him? What happen to super hearing?"

"I get distracted when we're..."

"Distracted? We don't have time for this. You have to go. Now." We ran down the stairs and I watched Leah hurry toward the car, "Don't forget to turn the heat on! Guinea-Pig needs heat!" I blew her a kiss.

She waved goodbye and then she was gone.

I stood at the door and watched the snow coated road. Snowflakes had started falling from the sky and everything looked so beautiful. It really did look like we were Christmas Eve.

I closed the door and, with a sigh, went into the living room. James was sitting on the floor looking at the TV and my dad was still parched on the sofa. When James saw me, he looked like he was going to get up but then he just went back to the TV.

My heart was racing the whole time I walk to the sofa. I petted James' bald head before curling up on the sofa next to my father. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. Daddy wrapped his arm around me and I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell of his cologne. It was funny how he had dozens of perfumes but to me it always smelled the same. He always smelled like daddy.

I wasn't sure if he was able to feel the rapidity of my heart but he rubbed my arm and started humming Silent Night. I had to fight back tears. Even though James wasn't talking to me right now, I was sort of happy. At that moment, I knew that daddy loved me. Yes, he was religious and traditional but he loved me. Since it was almost Christmas—it was only hours away—I relied on faith. I had faith in my father. Maybe his love was unconditional, maybe there was absolutely nothing that I could do for him to hate me.

I fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning, I was surprised to find that I was wrapped in covers on the sofa. My face felt filthy, I had fallen asleep with my make-up. I could hear that everyone else had already woken up. I wondered if Leah had woken up yet.

I sat up and took my iPhone out of my pocket. I wasn't surprised to see 3 missed calls from Leah. With a yawn, I got up and went up the stairs. I dialled Leah's number and put it on speaker phone. I closed the bathroom door behind me and washed my face.

"Oh, Lindz, there you are!"

"Merry Christmas, baby." I smiled. She sounded so happy to hear my voice. I wondered if it were possible for her to be happier than I was.

"Merry Christmas. Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah, I'm brushing my teeth." I said while putting tooth paste on my toothbrush and started scrubbing.

"Oh, then I guess I'll talk." She compromised, "Seth absolutely loves the guinea pig. He's been thinking of names since yesterday."

I spat into the sink, "Did he think of anything nice?" I asked, suddenly intrigued. I had forgotten about my little boy Guinea-Pig.

"Yeah, he thought of Pip Squeak, Spider Pig, Kimo, Midnight, Moon, Smokey..."

I laughed at some of the suggestions. Seth was so cute. I wished he was my little brother. I couldn't wait to see him again.

"...Spotty, Jojo, Gizmo, Remy, Shadow—"

I gasped, "I like that one."

"Shadow?" Leah guessed.

"No, Remy. Rem-ie. I like it. It's like a weird Hollywood name."

"Seth!" Leah called, "Lindsey likes the name Remy!"

"Awesome!" Seth crowed.

I smiled and jumped when someone knocked at the door.

"Sweet heart, don't you want to open you gifts?"

"Coming Daddy!" I called. "Lee, I have to go. But I love you and I miss you."

"I love you too. Oh! You didn't tell me about your brother..."

"You'll know soon enough. Bye." I hung up and sighed. I went into the gym a.k.a my old room and put on Leah's tank top and some jeans. I wore the shirt because it smelled like her. I jogged down the stairs and crossed paths with James. We both froze in the stair case.

"Merry Christmas." He nodded. I couldn't recognize if he looked angry or not.

"Merry Christmas." I duplicated his tone.

He headed upstairs and I continued my way down the stairs.

"You have to help Deb in the kitchen. You know it's tradition."

"Mm-hm." I mumbled. Not because I was sour, but because I couldn't speak past that stupid lump in my throat. It was time to tell my mom that I was into girls. I grimaced. I didn't want to tell her! Why couldn't she just guess? Did she not care about me so much that she couldn't even see how much I loved Leah? It wasn't normal how we looked at each other. Not for two friends anyways. We were so obviously in love. Why couldn't she see that?

The anger seemed to make me stronger. Her knowing would surely ruin her day. If there was one thing I wanted more than her accepting me was her day being completely ruined because of me.

I held my head up high as I stomped to the kitchen. Like in my little fantasy, flour was sprinkled all over the counter from her messy cooking. I mess I would have to clean up. When I thought back at my day dream with my mother being understanding and loving, I almost didn't want to ruin her day. She was so nice...

But that was your imagination, I reminded myself. I had to remember that she wasn't nice. Maybe she was, a long time ago, before I was born, but now she was a...a b**ch. It was hard for me to think it to myself but it was true. She was a b**ch. She turned my room into a gym! She painted my walls indigo! Oh, yeah, I wanted to ruin her day.

"Merry Christmas, mom!" I used my fakest, happiest tone possible. I learned that tone from my one and only mother.

I want to thank y'all for all the guinea pig names. My fave was Remy so that's the one I chose. I like the way it rings. So thanks Claire Mary Hausfeld :D

Chapter 29.

Lindsey's POV

"Yes, yes, Merry Christmas!" My mother replied sounding annoyed already, "Come here and help with the food. If a break a nail while turning this dough..." she started threaten.

I nodded obediently, my bravery flying out the window. I scampered to my mother and took the dough out of her hands. I began turning it and she left to wash her hands.

"This is a stupid tradition." She muttered, "I didn't go to University to cook meals..."

I rolled my eyes. She was in a bad mood. I couldn't stand being around her when she was like this. My mother automatically plunged into gossip; talking about her so-called friends, co-workers and other family member's personal life. She was such a hateful shrew. She laughed at unfortunate things that happened to her co-workers and claimed her life was doing much better. She bragged about how fit she was getting with her new gym.

"You can use it sometimes." She suggested, "You might be thin now but that won't last forever." She added then muttered something unintelligible.

We were almost finished breakfast and I couldn't believe how long I just stood there listening to her yammer. Lord knows I didn't want to tell my mother but I had made a promise to Leah. It was Christmas and my mother was going to know.

"Mom?" I said. I reminded myself to breathe. This was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do—harder than learning the jump-split in high school cheerleading.

"Yes?" she seemed annoyed that the conversation had now hovered away from her, "What is it?" She didn't seem the least bit interested. I looked at her and her expression was rushing me through this. My mouth felt dry and I looked away. It was her fault I had this stupid social phobia. She judged me, She thought nasty things when she looked at me. When I looked directly into her eyes I couldn't feel her burning me with her evil thoughts. She broke me.

"Mom...I'm sort of—no, I am a...a lesbian." I announced it! It was out! It was kind of a relief; having it out there. I was sure Leah was going to be so proud. I peaked up at my mother.

She was surprised, but that expression lasted half a second, then she was laughing. I felt my stomach clench. I couldn't understand why she was laughing. Nothing funny had happened. Maybe I had something on my face...

"Good one, Lindsey. Very funny." She laughed, shaking her head. She started putting our breakfasts on platters.

"What? No, mom, I'm serious. I'm not joking." I walked towards her.

She turned around to face me. Her face had gone completely serious. She placed both her hands on my shoulder. I had shied away but she got her grip on me. I tried to remember the last times she'd held me so firmly...

"Yes, you are." She said sternly. She articulated every word as if what she was saying was very important. My mother released me and turned back to the finished meal, "Breakfast!" she announced in a jolly voice, grabbing a tray of food and heading for the dining room.

I heard James crow in delight.

I stood frozen where I was. Had that really happened? I questioned if I had even said anything. Had I imagined the whole 'coming out' thing? No. I had said it. Out loud. Well, wasn't that just...Ugh! No words could describe my frustration. I wanted to scream and throw a tantrum like an angry toddler at a toy store. I wanted to break everything in site and throw myself off a bridge.

I had tried though. That had to count for something, right? I was going to tell her again tomorrow. Give her some time to take it in. I might tell her the 27th. I didn't want her ruining my black Friday. I wasn't procrastinating; I was just trying to make this easier on myself. Surely Leah would understand that much.

With a sigh, I picked up a platter full of scrambled eggs and helped my mother set the table. As we ate, my father was the only one really talking. He was so happy all the time he hardly noticed the glum mood everyone was in. I didn't want to mope but I felt so crummy. It wasn't because my mom had overruled my outing—a part of me was relieved about that—it was because my dad was out of a bubble. Daddy was the nicest guy in the world and he didn't deserve secrets being kept from him. James knew, mother knew, but Daddy was completely oblivious. I felt really bad about that.

James would glance at me every now and again but he didn't say what was on his mind. Usually I would've have called him out on it but I knew very well what he was looking at.

We put our plates in sink and we later all sat around the Christmas tree. It was time to open the gifts. I wasn't nearly as excited to open these gifts as I was to open Leah's gift and have her open mine.

I had gotten pretty awesome gifts though. Daddy got me new Louboutin shoes! That was freaking amazing! James got me all five Harajuku Lovers perfumes by Gwen Stefani since he knew how much I wanted them. I had momentarily forgotten that he saw me making out with Leah and gave him a huge hug. I was grateful for his gift.

Mom, dad and James all opened their gifts from me and all loved it.

We were practically finished opening all the gifts when I noticed my mother hadn't gotten me anything. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to give me a wrapped gift.

She rolled her eyes and reached behind her and handed me a white envelop. It was very thick. I ripped it open to find that the envelop was full of paper money—allot of money. I frowned and looked up at my mother.

"What's this?" I demanded.

"I didn't have time to go shopping so there's about 3000 dollars in there, maybe more, I lost count." She answered nonchalantly.

My heart racing in my chest from pure fury. Lies. She was telling me lies. She had time to buy James that art set, a real gift from a caring parent. She had time to buy dad that gold watch, a real gift from a caring wife. But she didn't have time to buy a real gift for me? Her daughter? I was so angry!

"You got to be kidding me." I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Mom, this is...what am I supposed to do with this?" I asked, trying to keep my hysterics under of control.

"Buy yourself something pretty." She rolled her eyes. To her, I was probably the dumbest person on earth.

"Then what? Then it's gone, and I have nothing."

"Your gift costs more than your father's gift and your brother's gift combined." She informed me smugly.

I glared at her. She was absolutely impeccable. I got up and stormed out of the room. I couldn't stand her!

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?" she followed behind me and it almost sounded like she was yelling. She never yelled though. Ladies didn't raise their voices in conflicts they just put their point across. She grabbed my wrist when I when up the first step of the stairs and yanked me down so I was looking at her. "You know what this is about? This is about you being an ungrateful brat ever since you got that scholarship!"

I clenched my fist my fist, "No, mother, this is about you being too lazy to do anything for me! You don't care about me! I don't want your money; I want you to care about the things that go on in my life!" I spat.

"I have taken care of you. I fed you and put a roof over your head!"

"Yeah, only because the law obliges you to."

"Not anymore, your 19, I'm still here aren't I? Doesn't that count for something?"

"Ugh!" I shrieked, "I'm out!" I ran up the stairs and grabbed my purse and jacket. I went down the stairs three steps at a time. I had to get out. I hated this place! Why I kept coming back was a mystery.

"Lindsey Clarisse Jean-Paul Craig, you are not walking out on Christmas day."

"I have to do something." I said. That wasn't a lie at all. I was supposed to go out in a few hours but I couldn't stick around now. Not after this.

"You know what Lindsey? Go. I don't even care."

"I'll be back for dinner!" I stepped out into the cold and slammed the door behind me. I walked on the snow coated streets in attempt to blow off steam. I couldn't think straight. I was so angry. She made me so angry! I refused to cry in this cold weather. I wasn't going to suffer because of my mother. I couldn't even think about how my dad and brother hadn't defended me. Every time I thought my dad was the most amazing man in the world he always reminded me that he was a coward.

I didn't call Leah even though I desperately wanted to. I was sure that she was having an amazing Christmas with all her friends and family. I didn't want her Christmas to be ruined like mine had been.

I had planned to go out today. My appointment wasn't for a few hours but I hoped that they would be open and hopefully have me. Time just flew by as I walk the 10 blocks to my destination.

I entered the building and I was surprised by how...clean this place was. I always imagined a tattoo artist's place to be all gross with a fat man with a tattoo of his mother on his shoulders. The walls were bright gold and a pretty blond was behind a counter.

I walked toward her and tried to suck up all my stress and anger. I didn't want to take it out on her, "Hi, um, I'm Lindsey Craig; I made an appointment to get a tattoo. My appointment isn't for another 3 hours but I was wondering if it were possible for me to see the artist right now..."

The woman smiled and nodded. She opened a folder and scanned through it. I pointed at my name that was below several empty spaces, "Well, looky here, I'm positive that Tessy can see you now. It is the holydays. We're all in a giving mood." The woman's smile was ridiculously wide and sparkly. It seemed out of place on this crappy day.

She got out her seat and led me to a blue room with something that looked like a dentist chair and hundreds of tiny pictures on the walls. It was surely designs for tattoos. There was a black haired woman with her backed turned to us. She was washing her hands or something. The blond woman gestured for me to take a seat in the room.

"Miss Craig is early for her appointment. Can you take care of her?" The blond woman asked.

"Mh hm." The dark haired woman nodded as she cleaned needles.

"Well, you have fun." The blond woman winked at me and left the room.

"Hello, I'm Tessy, I'll be tatting you up today." Tessy turned around and smiled at me. She was just as pretty and happy as the blond. She had black hair had a bright orange bang. It was kind of odd if you asked me. Her style reminded me of Leslie. She did have allot of tattoos on both her arms. "Did you have anything in specific planned for your tattoo?"

I nodded, "I want you to tattoo my girlfriends name on my waist."