A/n: I'm kinda snowed in my house. NO SCHOOL! AND NO SCHOOL YESTERDAY EITHER! OH YA! But… I hate the cold with a passion! This kinda sucks considering the fact that it's literally freezing and snowing outside! There's no way I'm going outside!! There's like three to four inches of snow on my rails outside! No joke! I love you guys so much that I've been working on chapter 4 all day… well, I don't have anything else to do… so here you go! I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… Or any of the characters… but if I did I would be soooo rich! Like Sephanie Meyer! But I don't… which kinda sucks… but I'll get over it! DON'T SUE ME!
Lots of love to my completely awesome and totally amazing beta Bite Me 23! I'm horrible at grammar and spelling! She's always got my back!
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Previous: I frowned. "I'm never going to get over him am I?" I whispered to myself holding back tears.
I turned towards my dresser. I grabbed a t-shirt and jeans and threw them on.
Next thing I knew, I found myself at school. What happened during breakfast? I'm not hungry. That's weird.
I walked to my first class. Everything was a blur up to lunch. My brain was on auto-Bella. I didn't remember anything except getting dressed this morning and walking to my first class. Oh well, I made it through alive… I guess.
I walked into the cafeteria. The first thing I noticed was the Cullen's empty table. I sighed.
"Bella! You're here" someone yelled from behind me. I turned around.
"Hi, Mike" I said in a bland tone. Mike looked like an exited puppy getting ready to go for a walk. I hated his stupid cheesy smile that was plastered on his face. Could he not see that I wasn't happy?
"Come sit with us!" He said excitedly. I sat down across from him. He obviously wasn't fazed by my bad mood. Jessica turned towards him.
"Shut up stupid. She's obviously not feeling happy as you are today."She gave him a dirty look and turned and smiled at me. "How are you feeling today, Bella?" She asked me.
"Fine" I mumbled. I looked down at my food. I wasn't hungry at all.
"If you say so…" Jessica said. And immediately after, she was caught up in all the rest of the little drama going on at the school.
I sighed. I zoned out for the rest of lunch. I avoided human contact for the rest of the day, afraid of breaking down in tears right in the middle of school.
I walked out to my truck. It was old but that's why I loved it. I sat in the driver's seat and put my keys in the ignition. That's when I heard it. There was a voice, in my head. It said "Oh Bella" then I realized it was Alice's voice. She sounded distressed and upset. Okay, I am going insane.
I turned the keys in the ignition and the engine rumbled to life. I drove home as fast as possible. I didn't want to have a nervous breakdown or anything on my way home that would probably send me to the hospital. That wouldn't be good.
I got home and that's when I realized I hadn't remembered my homework. I had zoned during all of my classes. Ugh. I decided to fix Charlie lasagna for dinner. After I finished, I sat down at the table and cracked open my abused copy of Wuthering Heights. Pages kept on falling out so I got up, taped them back in, and walked into the living room and turned on the TV. I watched some tasteless show until Charlie got home.
I walked up to my room and grabbed my pajamas. I got into the shower. I wished that the hot water would wash away all the hurt caused by him leaving. But it wouldn't. It just helped soothe my senses to a point where they were bearable. Then I remembered that Rosalie would probably be in my room when I got back. Great! I would have to suffer about the fact that her eyes looked almost exactly like his.
I sighed. I was done with my shower. I grabbed the faucet to turn it off and it happened again. A voice spoke in my head again. Only this time it wasn't Alice's voice, it was Edward's. "How is she?" it said. His voice sent chills through my body. The pain struck my heart again with. Then there was another voice. It was Carlisle's voice"She's stable," It responded.
I'm seriously going insane! Maybe I need to go see a counselor or something. I thought. I threw on my pajamas and went to my room, closing the door behind me. A pair of perfect yellow eyes watched me as I turned on the light. There, once again, was Rosalie, sitting on my bed.
"Hello, Bella" she said sweetly as she smiled. "How are you tonight?"
I Sat across from her. "I'm fine." I frowned. "I still miss him. That's never going to change is it?" I looked down.
"I guess not" she replied in her version of the perfect velvety voice Edward had. It wasn't that she was copying his voice, it just resembled it voice. I'm pathetic. "So, when do you want me to change you?"
I looked up at her golden eyes. "I don't know. It doesn't really matter to me as long as it doesn't worry Charlie. I really don't want there to be a search party for me."
"Understandable." She agreed. "How about you tell Charlie you're moving out? I don't know. I've never tried to handle this kind of stuff before."
"That's okay. That's a good idea too. I can tell him that this house reminds me too much of him and that I'm going to move into an apartment." I paused. "I'll tell him not to ask questions. It's not like me but I have to do something instead of just disappearing."
"Okay, you can tell him you're moving in this weekend. That'll be fine for me. I'll just have to keep Emmet occupied for a couple days."She paused."Sorry I'm thinking out loud. I can tell him and everyone else I'm hunting by myself… and I want to go by myself. I've done that before. Oh and I probably want to be as full as possible before I… you know… I change you."
"Okay" I looked down. "That's fine by me."
"I've got to go." She whispered. "See you this weekend. Oh and I'll meet you here Saturday morning. Okay?"
"Okay" I whispered and she was gone. I got my wish, to become a vampire. But was this the thing I really wanted? No, of course it's not. What I really wanted was to have Edward back. It wouldn't be fair to make him come back against his free will. This was the second best thing. I needed to distract myself again.
I walked over to my computer and turned it on. I waited out the turning on process of my dinosaur computer. I clicked email. I had one new message. I clicked it.
Bella,
Aww… honey that's rough. Break-ups always are tough…
I stopped reading the message at that. This was pretty much sucking as a distraction. It was much longer than that but I didn't bother to read it. It would remind me too much of him.
I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked in the mirror. I looked horrible. There were dark circles under my eyes and my face was very pale, almost vampire pale. Well
I could have mistaken myself for a vampire if my eyes weren't brown.
"I need him" I whispered to myself. "I'm a mess without him"
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I was blaring my iPod into my head while writing this chapter. Mostly "Leavin'" by Jessie McCartney, "Accidentally in Love" by Counting Crows, "Be Without You" by Mary J. Blige, and "Always Something There To Remind Me" by the Naked Eyes, a little ironic don't you think?
Soo… I'm hoping for at least 5 reviews before I update again… do you think you can do that? I know you can! You guys are amazing!
Luv u, Luv me!
-Esmeralda