A/N: This chapter is based on a fanfic I was working on titled Five Years From Now. This is only a chunk of the NEW full story, but since it's an AU story I thought it would be a good fit. YOU WILL PROBABLY CRY, I did. Just please don't hate me for this rather tragic tale. If you haven't looked at the above mentioned fanfic here's a little bit of explanation: The idea is that the characters are here in our world, and the Roy Mustang has a terminal illness. This story explores a 'What If?' question I once asked myself.
Roy Mustang hurried. He couldn't stand the thought of being late for anything especially not somehing as important as this. Heart pounding in his chest painfully he raced across the parking lot. Someone honked a horn at him and he naturally responded by giving them a nice view of his perfectly manicured middle finger.
"Blasted Hughes." He whined. "Those meetings are longer than they need to be because of him. Doesn't he know how limited my time is?"
He got to his car and unlocked the door. The light blue Ford Thunderbird sputtered to life as he turned the key in the ignition and buckled up. He backed out quickly pressing a hand to his chest over his poor heart. "Just hold up a little longer." He whispered.
He careened through the streets of Reno Nevada passing the garish casinoes without so much as a glance at them. With a sigh he found himself trying to calm down. If the adrenaline in his blood got too high he'd have an attack and that was the last thing he needed.
It wasn't long before he was exiting the freeway and turning onto a quiet suburban street. He still wondered how she'd talked him into abandoning his penthouse suite for a house with a yard and a dog.
He parked on a driveway and as soon as he was parked there were excited shouts from the front porch of the yellow house he called home. Two people waved as he climbed out of the classic car. He smiled at the blond woman and the dark haired boy clinging to her.
"Hey hon," He greeted walking over the grass to kiss her. Riza smiled at him.
The little boy grabbed his attention. "Hey Daddy, guess what today is?"
"Hm." Roy replied. He knelt down so he was eye level with his son. "Is it Christmas?" He asked the boy that could be no more than four years old.
The child shook his head.
"How about Mother's day?" Roy asked nodding with mock certainty.
"Daddy," The child complained in a tone that was frighteningly identical to his father's own whine.
"Is it Aidan's birthday?" Roy asked taking the child in his arms and standing.
"YES!" Aidan cried happily.
"Roy, please don't strain yourself." Riza said following the two into the house.
"Oh nonsense Riza, I'm not that bad yet." He replied. Though in reality his chest was hurting something awful. He set the boy down on the kitchen counter and fished in his pockets. There was a pause and then he pulled out a small wrapped package.
Aidan took it his eyes wide with excitement. "What's this?" He asked.
"Open it." Roy suggested sounding just as clueless as the boy. "It's from Mr. Havoc."
"It better not be a lighter." Riza said sternly.
"Of course it isn't." Roy said smiling.
Aidan tore through the green paper and revealed a model plane in a plastic case. "Airplane!" He announced grinning. He lifted it up for his parents to see. Riza sighed in relief.
"See, not a lighter." Roy said before wincing. Riza's eyes flashed with concern.
"I told you to take it easy." She chided.
"I'm fine." He growled as he reached for a tin pillbox in his suit jacket pocket. He opened it up as Riza got him some water in a glass. He popped two pills and took a long swig of water.
Aidan watched silently. Still too young to fully understand what was wrong with his father's health he knew the pills helped Roy. The man smiled bravely, "Why don't we get ready for tonight?" He suggested.
Riza rolled her eyes. "You should probably rest first."
"I'll sleep when I'm dead." Roy waved a hand and then realized what he'd said. "Oops," he added turning an apologetic smile on his wife.
Riza's brown eyes flashed. "You know you should take care of yourself. Dr. Knox said if you take it easier you might keep pushing your luck further." She said this pleadingly, wishing that her husband would take care of himself instead of trying to fit as much as he could into his numbered days.
"I won't watch from the sidelines." Roy replied gently. "Please, I'll be fine tonight." He smiled and when she looked down trying to hold back tears he lifted her cheek so that he looked into her eyes. "Honey, I'm not going to live forever, we both know that. I don't want to miss something magical because I'm afraid of what I can't change."
Riza sniffed but held back the floods, she'd save that for in his arms tonight after the birthday party. "You go get changed while we finish decorating." She managed a smile.
Roy kissed her then and headed down the hall for their bedroom.
Aidan watched his father go and looked at his mother curiously. The entire conversation had gone over his head. "Let's get the party favors ready ok?"
"OK!"
Roy and Maes Hughes sat in the study talking. The party had long since died, and the two friends were enjoying the quiet. Roy's face was paler than usual as they sipped rootbeer. "Roy, I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but the office is getting fed up with your medical leaves." He said it as though every one else but himself was feeling this way.
"Are you saying I should be prepared for a pink-slip?"
"Yes." Maes gave him a shrug. "I guess they finally got tired of paying for sick days."
"I don't need the job." Roy said. "I'm only there three days a week anymore anyways."
The door to the study opened and two children raced in. "Uncle Maes it works!" Aidan shouted as he threw a paper airplane into the room. The folded paper floated on the aircurrents in the room and landed on the table between the two men.
"Hey no fair!" Elicia cried. The little girl in pigtails three years older than the boy said lifting her smashed airplane up for everyonr to see. "Mine crashed."
"Here." Roy offered and she handed it to him. With a few quick motions of his hands he had the nose of the makeshift aircraft straight. He gave it a test throw and it wavered but glided gracefully towards the floor.
"Yay Uncle Roy!" Elicia shouted scooping the plane up.
The two children looked at their fathers and as the two men picked their conversation up the two managed to perch on their Uncles' laps.
"I'm content to stay here and spend time with my family and friends." Roy said, "I was getting close to putting in my two weeks."
Hughes nodded. "That's good."
Roy absently played with Elicia's pigtails. "Did you have fun at the party he asked?"
"Yes, it was lots of fun, and Aidan shared his candy with me." The girl answered.
"That was nice of you." Maes said to the boy on his lap.
"I like to share. Mommy says it's a good quatity...qualty...I don't remember the word." He said pouting.
"Quality?" The man he was sitting on supplied.
"That's it." He replied distractedly.
"They get along so well." Maes observed.
"It's cause they know we're friends." Roy stated.
Riza and Gracia snuck into the room. Riza looked a little tired as she sat next to Roy. He took her right hand in his left lacing their fingers.
Gracia sat next to her husband his hand wrapping around her waist.
"It's getting late." Gracia commented. "We should get Elicia home to bed."
"Yeah." Maes agreed not really looking at his watch.
The four stood up. "It won't be easy separating those two." Riza said as the kids came back in carrying some of the toys Aidan had recieved for his birthday.
"Elicia it's time to go." Her father said gently. The girl pouted at him. He turned to his wife for strength.
"We have to go home, Daddy needs his rest." Gracia said pleasantly.
"Do you have to?" Aidan asked looking up at the adults. "I want to play with Elicia more."
"You'll see her later this week." Roy supplied resting his hand on the boy's head.
"Ok." The children said in unison.
Goodbyes were said and then Aidan was put to bed his new toys set up around the room so he could see them.
It wasn't long before he was asleep.
Roy and Riza went to their own bed. In the master-bath Roy stared down the group of pill bottles in the medcine cabinet. "Roy," Riza whispered coming up behind him. She'd already changed into a pair of silk pajamas. He felt her against his shirtless back and took a deep breath. "You can take those in a few minutes. If you promise not to forget."
Her voice was gentle and almost begging. Roy grinned thought it somehow looked more mischevious than excited with his shadowed eyes and thinning cheeks. At a quick glance the man looked relatively healthy, but shirtless it was apparent he was a little too thin despite him eating as heartily as he could.
He let her lead him to the big kingsize bed they shared. "Are you up to it?" Riza whispered in his ear. Her breath tickled and excited. There was a visceral reaction as he pulled her close to him.
He kissed her lovingly and she wrapped her arms around him. "That answer your question?"
She nodded not trusting her voice as he pressed himself against her.
Roy was feeling good even though he was heading back into the hospital. His eyes gleamed with hope. Dr. Knox was confident that a new medicine would help extend Roy's life by slowing his disease's progression.
Riza and Aidan walked in with him. The boy now six was nervous. Riza had tried to explain to him that the hospital would be a safe place for his father. Aidan on the other hand was convinced it wasn't, not after hearing another child talk about their grandmother dying in a hospital.
The trio sat down and waited. Roy patted his lap and Aidan climbed up. "Are you scared?" He asked. Roy shook his head.
"I've been here before. Dr. Knox is going to help me." He explained.
"Help you get better?"
"As much as I can."
Aidan didn't understand.
"Daddy can't be healed for good, but the doctors will make the sickness go away for a little while." Riza said softly. She was tense, she always hated these new treatments and prolonged stays.
Every night that he was away from the house she prayed for to whoever would listen to her pleas for her husband to return home.
"What will they do?"
"I'm going to get medicine." Roy replied. He didn't mention that it required a minor surgery and a series of injections.
Roy was called in and his family tensed up. Aidan's hands clawed into his shirt tightly. "I don't want you to go." He said softly tears threatening.
"It's ok." He whispered to his son. "I'll see you when it's over. I'll just be a little sleepy like last time." Aidan burried his head in Roy's chest.
"NO." He said defiantly.
"We'll stay here and wait." Riza promised. "They have a cafeteria we can eat at and we'll play games on my phone."
Aidan looked at his mother and contemplated his options. "Ok." He said reluctantly.
He hugged his father again and Roy kissed him on the cheek before letting Riza take him.
She looked into his eyes as she set Aidan in her now empty seat. "You come back to me." She whispered in his ear. "I mean it."
"I will hon, I promise." He said kissing her.
When they parted he murmured. "I love you."
"I love you." Riza gasped as she turned away so he wouldn't see her tears.
Roy followed the nurse waving at them bravely.
Aidan watched his father disappear down the hall before exclaiming loudly that he wanted his Daddy and burst into tears. Riza sat with him erasing her own tears to try and ease her son's.
"Shh Aidan, why don't you color Daddy a picture he can put in his room when he wakes up?"
Roy awoke to pain in his chest. So he was alive. He took a deep breath of disinfectant and made a face. A nurse noticed him open his eyes. She had brown hair in a bun and her scrubs were pink. "Well how is our patient?"
"Feeling like I should." Roy replied. He worked his hands as the aneasthetic wore off. "Can you send my family in?"
"Of course they're waiting down the hall." She vanished and Roy stared at the blank room.
He felt the tender sting of an incision healing on his chest. He'd been here before.
When he'd first gotten sick he was a young promising CIA Agent with a pregnant wife. But when the doctors had noticed that his blood had begun to take a toxic quality they'd scrambled to find a cure. At first transfusions and surgeries on his heart had helped prolong the degeneration of his blood. Luckily heredity was ruled out early on and there was no worry that Aidan would contract it.
Now five years later he was taking a hail-mary treatment. A last chance at giving him time with his family. If it worked as they hoped he might be able to make it to Aidan's fifteenth birthday. "Ten years." He murmured hopefully. It would be a miracle, but that's what he was hoping for.
Riza and Aidan came in. The little boy tried to rush his father but femenine hands tightened on him gently. "Remember what I said earlier?" She asked.
The boy nodded but tugged at her to hurry up. Riza picked him up and they sat together on the chair next to Roy's bed.
"Hey," He greeted forcing a smile through pain and grogginess.
"How do you feel?" Riza asked.
"Don't know yet. What's that?" Roy asked Aidan. He was clutching a piece of paper tightly.
"For you." The boy said offering it. His father took it and smiled at the crudely drawn humanoids meant to represent the Mustang family. He could tell by the two tufts of black and one of yellow on the oblong 'heads'.
"Thank you." He said. "Can you put it up somewhere?"
The boy jumped down reclaiming the artwork and rushing to the memo board.
"Have you talked to Dr. Knox yet?" Roy asked.
"He said that if your blood toxicity levels drop to the desired percentage and it stays that way for the next six months then you'll only need the injection once every six months for the foreseeable future." Her voice hopeful. "This is supposed to boost your white blood cell count and keep it strong enough to fight the toxicity for a decent amount of time."
"Any more time is better than what was the original estimate." Roy murmured. He didn't want Aidan to hear him talk about his impending death. "Remember when we were just starting out? Knox said five to seven years. And here it's been five. If this gives me another ten I'm happy." He smiled at her.
Aidan said walked up to the bed. "Are you gonna come home tomorrow?"
"Not tomorrow." Roy apologized. "Maybe in a few days, "The doctors have to make sure I'm healed enough to go home first."
"They won't keep you here for themselves?" Aidan asked seriously.
Roy chuckled, "No, they know I have to come home to you and Mommy."
The boy seemed content and nodded.
Roy leaned back exhausted. "You sleep." Riza whispered taking his hand in hers.
Aidan sat on the grass miserable. He held his knees up to his chest the tears burning down his cheeks. He'd been like that for the past three hours in the back yard under the tree. Riza watched her son from the kitchen window. She was making his favorite, lasagna in hopes that it would brighten his spirit.
The front door opened and she heard footsteps enter the kitchen. "I got your text."
"He's just been crying, and I can't seem to reach him." Riza said not turning her gaze away.
"Why don't you try talking to him?" She suggested.
Roy paled. "I don't think it's a good subject for the two of us..."
"It's a perfect subject Roy. Your son's dog just died today, and he doesn't know how to handle it, how's he going to deal with it when you go?" She'd accidentally started crying and she hurried out of the kitchen in frustration.
Roy took a deep breath and looked at Aidan. Sure enough the boy looked awful, and Roy could see in his eyes that he wasn't just thinking about Hayate. He walked into the back yard and came up beside the boy.
"Mind if I join you?"
Aidain shrugged. Roy sat down next to him. He put a hand on his son's shoulder and rubbed it. "I'm sorry." Roy began. Aidan glanced at him briefly.
"Is that what you'll say when you D-" He choked on a sob unable to say the word.
"It's one of the things I'll say." Roy supplied, "Among a lot of other important stuff."
"Why do we have death?" The twelve year old asked.
"It's a natural cycle," Roy began.
"But WHY?" Aidan turned to look at his father. "Why do animals and people die?"
Roy looked out across the yard for a minute, "I guess so that we have a reason to use our time wisely."
"Can't everyone just live forever?" Aidan asked.
"The world doesn't work that way, if it did we'd have no reason to start families."
"I don't like death." Aidan said sounding very small and scared.
"Neither do I." Roy said, "But you know it doesn't make it any less real." Roy sighed.
Aidan looked at him. "Are you afraid to die?"
Roy worried his bottom lip in thought. "I wouldn't say I'm afraid of dying, I am afraid of leaving you and Mom behind. I don't know what will happen after I'm gone. And that scares the hell out of me."
"It's not fair."
"It certainly doesn't feel that way."
"How come Elicia gets to know her father will always be alive?" Aidan asked.
"She doesn't, her father could die for any number of reasons at any time. He just doesn't have a condition that reveals the timespan."
"Does death hurt?" Aidan asked.
"Uncle Maes seems to think it's the opposite, like a weight lifting off of us." Roy said shrugging.
"Is that what you think?"
"I guess so." Roy replied. "I hope it's like that."
"When will you die?" Aidan knew the general time frame, his mother had very calmly told him that his father only had till he was fifteen a few years ago.
"I honestly don't know." Roy said frowning. "According to Dr. Knox I have three years left."
"Do you think that's when you'll die?" Aidan asked wanting a sure answer.
Roy sighed heavily knowing that what his son wanted was a day he could prepare for on a calendar. "I hope not. I hope that I'll live longer than that, but my disease isn't forgiving. And my heart is getting weaker with every attack. The toxicity levels in my blood started rising again, like they predicted, but that means the treatments are no longer working."
Roy looked at his feet feeling just as lost and confused as his son. "Does anyone know when they will die?"
"Afraid not, if we did we wouldn't have regrets because we'd make sure to do what was right."
"But you do." Aidan said.
"I have a timespan, but it could be inaccurate. I could live shorter or longer than the estimate. That's why I've always tried to do so much with you and Mom, because unfortnately we don't have a watch that says when we die, and we aren't garunteed a long life."
Aidan leaned in closer. Roy wrapped his arms around him. "I'll miss Hayate."
"I will too." Aidan said quietly.
"Hey Dad,"
"Yes?"
"Promise you won't die without saying goodbye?"
Roy blinked back tears, "I promise Aidan, I wouldn't dream of missing that oppotunity."
Riza paced the hall her hands knotting against each other. The fourteen year old Aidan watched her quietly. The hospital sounds mocked them as they waited for Dr. Knox.
Finlly a door down the hall opened and the familiar physician walked toards them. Knox removed his glasses and cleaned them absently, a habit to keep from looking in their questioning eyes.
"Riza, Aidan, I have long seen this day coming, but it still makes it no easier to say. Roy's heart is giving up, slowly, but I predict he maybe has a year left if he takes it easy." Riza didn't cry, instead she looked at him mournfully.
"What do you suggest we do?"
"Give him what he wants. There's no other medicines I can try, make him as comfortable and happy as you can until..." His gruff voice died away.
Aidan stood up and silently hugged his mother.
Mother and son stood, Riza didn't realize how strong he was until now because she had lost the strength to stand minutes ago but in his arms she was still on her feet.
"I want to do online school." Aidan said suddenly. "I don't want to be gone all the time."
"Ok, I'll do it as soon as we get home." Riza promised. Though she knew it would be hard on her son she wouldn't deny him his father's last days.
The pair slowly entered Roy's room. He was awake and smiled at them. "Don't say a word." Roy whispered. "I know." He said gently.
Riza thought she could handle this, but she slid to her knees at his bed. "Roy, I don't know," She felt his hand on her head drawing her near. He gave her that winsome smile she'd fallen in love with.
"It's part of the adventure." He said as he kissed her.
Months passed and Roy seemed to do ok. He and Aidan spent long hours in conversation. The boy hardly slept because when his father was awake he was wth him trying to learn everything he could. Aidan had begun writing it all down word for word.
Riza tried not to cry sometimes. Other days she just rested her head on his shoulder and let it all out. One morning Aidan found the two on the couch leaning against each other, he smiled.
It wasn't so bad until Roy was unable to stand. The pain in his chest was too much for even a simple task. So they brought his bed into the living room so he wouldn't miss anything. Riza cooked whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and sometimes she'd look up to see him writing.
Riza knew what it was, he already had a will. These were letters. He had been trying to hide a stack of them, but she'd seen them once. Some were adressed to her, some to Aidan, one to Elicia, and a few to Maes.
Friends visited often. Hughes was over once a week to play cards or just talk about the office.
Roy smiled no matter how bad he felt. He laughed, he whistled, and annoyed the hell out of his wife by not letting her see him cry.
On a quiet night when no visitors had showed up the family sat around his bed talking pleasantly.
"I think it's time for desert." Riza rose to get something from the kitchen.
Roy watched her and smiled at the huge chocolate cake she brought into the living room. "My favorite." He said grinnng.
"I thought you weren't fond of chocolate." Aidan said wondering if his medication was getting to him.
"No, but there's no greater slice of heaven than your mother's chocolate cake." Roy said rubbing his hands in anticipation.
Riza passed around rather large slices, once she might have been worried about it, but recently she found that she didn't care, not even when all three of them ate ice cream for dinner.
Roy dug in fervently. Riza sighed, "You'll choke." She warned.
"Nuh-uh" Roy said around a mouthful of chocolate divinity.
"I don't know how you can eat that all" Aidan said watching his father clean the plate.
Roy held his plate out for more. His eyes darkened with the words he was thinking as he said, "I don't like to waste something so perfect."
Aidan knew what his father really meant: 'this could be the last time I eat this' . Riza put a small slice on the plate and shook her head.
"I always knew your father was a man of extravagance. He was wearing a tuxedo the first time we met." She reminded.
Roy Mustang gave his wife and son a brave smile as he looked them in the eyes. "It's been fun." He said breathily. Riza was crying gently and Aidan was fighting to keep his tears in check. "I wouldn't change a minute of it." He added.
His face was stark white under the mop of black hair. The shadows under his eyes made him look desperatley tired. And the pleasant smirk on his lips contrasted with the swirling emotions in his jet black eyes.
"I wouldn't either." Riza replied squeezing his hand.
"I only regret not getting to see where you go Aidan. I'm terribly sorry I have to leave you now."
"It's ok Dad," Aidan said shakily, "You've given me a lot." Aiden gestured to the rubberbanded stack of envelopes. Each letter had a label for a specific time in his son's life.
"But it's not fair to you two." Roy's voice was weak.
"Who said life is fair?" Riza asked gently. "We were fortunate to get these fifteen years with you. A blessing is a blessing no matter how short lived."
"Come here." Roy whispered. He hugged them both as tightly as he could. He wiped a few tears of his own away. "Just don't forget me ok?" He asked.
"Never." Aidan promised.
"My heart belongs to Roy Mustang, it won't easily forget you." Riza said her voice cracking.
Roy smiled, "I've been a handful I know, and I'm sorry it has to end this way." He coughed not even attempting to hide the blood on his lips. Riza wiped it away with a tissue gently. "Thank you Love."
"Sh." Riza kissed him then. It was a goodbye kiss and she could feel it even as she willed it to be something less tragic.
Roy smiled at her, "Not yet. Aidan," Roy raised his hand and the teen took it taking Riza's spot as she backed away.
"Yes Dad?" Aidan looked at his father and took a shuddering beath.
"I promised I would say goodbye."
"You did." Aidan choked. For all of the inevitableness of his father's passing he was desperatley wishing this wasn't happening right now.
"I want you to know I will always be proud of you. No matter what. Don't be afraid of anything. Keep an eye on your mother for me ok? She's going to need you now more than ever. I'm counting on you Aidan." Roy said gently. The boy pressed his forehead to his father's.
"I will I promise," He said. Roy leaned up and kissed his son for the last time.
"Goodbye Son, I love you so much."
"Goodbye Dad, I love you too. Thanks for everything."
Aidan embraced his father one more time before letting his mother have her spot back. Aidan turned to see Dr. Knox quietly watching a faraway look in his eyes.
"Riza Hawkeye," Roy murmured.
"That's not my last name anymore." She chided through tears.
"It's such a prettier name than mine. Anyways, I hate to cut and run like this." Roy started.
"It's ok." Riza assured she was hovering just above him their eyes locked together. "I always knew we'd say goodbye."
"But I really don't want to." Roy whined. Riza chuckled through a sob. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"I love you, of course I forgive you!" She said.
"Good, because I feel it coming." He whispered gently. "One more kiss?" He begged.
Riza obliged and for a moment she felt a little of his old fire burning deep within. Just a touch of the strong, heroic man she'd fallen in love with seventeen years ago. He'd been saving that little bit of passion for now.
"Goodbye Love, stay strong, and please don't cry too much, you now how I hate it when it rains. Maes and Gracia are a phone call away ok? You tell him if you need anything. He promised yesterday to look after you two. You're a wonderful mother, never doubt that." He took a shaky breath as her tears fell on his cheeks mixing with his own.
"I am so proud and grateful to have been your wife." Riza whispered. "Thank you for showing me true love exists. And thank you for a wonderful sixteen years."
"You're welcome, I can't stay any longer Riza. I Love you so so much. Never forget that. Thank you for sticking it out with me. I'm sure it's been hard on you both."
"Please don't go," She murmured.
"If only." He sighed.
"Goodbye Roy Mustang, I Love You."
"Goodbye Riza, I Love You."
With that he closed his dark eyes and forced a smile through the pain. Aidan rested his hand on his mother's shoulders. "He's not even scared." he whispered.
"Your father's- not scared -of anything." Riza said haltingly.
"Farewell." Roy whispered still smiling. His breath hissed out and then his chest went still. Dr. Knox approached the other side and felt for a pulse. Riza turned into Aidan's arms as her sobs shook her.
"I'm calling it." Knox said gently.
Aidan nodded at the doctor trying not to choke on a sob. "It's like a weight is lifted off of us." he whispered. His mother didn't answer, too busy mourning her husband.