Prompt: the Wild West
AU
"Yes!" the brunette pumped her fist in the air, grinning. "We'll be rich at this rate!" A rather tired-looking guy next to her replied, rubbing the back of his head.
"Can't you keep it down? That's not something to yell in a public place, especially this kind of bar." The boy, Kyon, was ignored completely as the girl pulled another women, a redhead with a rather shapely figure, over to her side and started dancing.
"What am I gonna do with her..." he sighed, sitting back at their table with a thud. The bar around them bustled with noise, drinks and gambling, as well as a bevy of busy prostitutes in a corner by the stairs. Hopefully in all its rowdiness their small party of four would go unnoticed.
They seemed dressed correctly, at least... That was one of the things Kyon had been most worried about. Having only ridden into town a few nights ago, him and the girls didn't want to stand out as foreigners too badly. He was currently garbed in a brown poncho, riding boots, a cowboy hat, and itchy pants. To be honest he preferred it on the eastern coast, what he thought of as 'civilization', even if the towns were near-identical in living quality.
Of course, eyeing the girls, he had to admit it wasn't all bad. Unlike the farmer's wives back home, here Haruhi and Mikuru were wearing red and gold dresses respectively, as well as corsets and cowboy boots, the local fashion. The last member of their group, Yuki Nagato, was also rather eye-catching in a midnight-blue ruffled dress and low heels, something Kyon had never thought he'd live to see her wear. She was usually so practical with how she dressed; it looked great.
"Should I play another round?" asked the slim girl, noticing him looking at her.
"Oh, take your time. Haruhi's the best at rounding up the gamblers anyway," laughed Kyon.
Sure enough, at that exact moment Haruhi arrived, dragging a dishevelled man with a weak beard along with her.
"This girl has the best poker face in the whole 'west!" bragged the brunette, performing a drum roll with her hands on the table. "If you can beat Yuki here, I'll let you sleep with me or my partner Mikuru," she pointed at the suddenly blushing red-head, "free of charge! What do ya say, feel lucky punk?"
"I just have to beat a lil girl? Heh, and she's nearly A-ranked..." the man smiled the special smile only a pervert could. "Deal!"
"Wait, Haruhi, are you crazy?" Kyon pointed accusingly at the girl, sweat running down the back of his head.
"It's okay; I know what I'm doing. She's never lost yet!" whispered Haruhi conspiratorially back in his ear.
"You know you're loud enough for him to hear everything you're saying, right?" deadpanned the youth.
"Don't change the subject! Listen, we're here to make money, and Yuki is our best chance at easy money like this chump!"
"If you call him easy money, he might not even play... please, stop and think for once! And it's still not okay to risk Mikuru like that, which was the original subject!"
Kyon and Haruhi continued to bicker, not noticing the match was already underway. The man chose poker, a favourite in the area. Haruhi had not been exaggerating, it seemed- Yuki's facial expression never seemed to change, regardless of her hand, a rare poker face indeed. Mikuru watched in amazement as the perverted man took her lack of emotion to mean a terrible hand, and played his own- one pair of fives, the worst hand she'd seen all day.
"Aw man!" he cried in frustration at the results, pulling out more money. And so the matches continued, each time more and more money being risked, in return for hopes to sleep with one of the younger girls. Yuki's lack of emotion was consistently confused for a lack of confidence in a bad hand, a false attempt to conceal a great hand, or a way of psyching her opponent out, which prompted numerous bluffs. Bluffing and any manner of talk seemed to have no effect on her, and she did not respond to the usual tricks. Soon a crowd were watching their plays, drawn by the man's loud anguish and the strange sight of such a young girl playing poker in a bar like this.
"See Kyon? I told you it was okay," proclaimed Haruhi, proudly watching as yet another man lost to Yuki's near-perfect judgement and expression.
"She does have a way with numbers and odds..." admitted the boy.
"Kyon, look!" Kyon turned to see a green cactus staring at him less then an inch away from his face.
"Wha- what the hell!" he leaned backwards, flinching from the potted plant Mikuru was holding out like a trophy.
"A man gave it to me; he said I was pretty! Its name is Koizumi, he said," Mikuru explained. Kyon glared at the plant for a second, eyeing its bobbing branch and small spikes warily. For some reason... he didn't like it...
"It looks like it's mocking me," he muttered.
"It looks like it's smiling at you, doesn't it?" chirped Mikuru at the same time.
Meanwhile, Haruhi was happily pimping out the sensation of the bar, Yuki. Now the men gathered around their table numbered more then a dozen, and still the pale girl showed no sign of quitting her winning streak.
"What's your secret?" a short man named Kunikida asked, amazed at how calm she seemed during their recent games of blackjack.
"...I have no secrets. I simply play what appears best," she explained, confusing him more.
"Sorry for a second, the games will take a break while Yuki has a drink and freshens up," Kyon explained, hands outstretched, just as they went to deal once again. Haruhi began to argue in protest, but Yuki nodded her assent, giving him time to drag them both to a corner.
"Why stop now? We're raking it in!" the brunette hissed.
"Listen, Yuki's not some kind of fancy new vehicle. She gets tired too, and I'm sure she'd like to use the ladies room or get some fresh air," Kyon justified.
"You should ask me before deciding things like that!" Haruhi pouted away from him.
"I thought the only reason you dragged me out here was because in the west, women listen to their men, right? And you wanted some kind of cover, in case things looked suspicious. So I suggest you play along and do as I say for now, as the man-" Kyon's brilliant-yet-poorly-thought-out argument was ended when Haruhi hit him in a very male area, causing him to double over in pain.
"Don't take a girl's side against mine, jerk," huffed Haruhi, before taking Yuki over for a drink regardless.
Kyon sighed, returning to their table with a small flinch as he sat down. For once, one of Haruhi's schemes seemed to be working. After realizing how talented Yuki was at gambling they had decided to travel to the west- where gambling for money trumped the law- and their fortunes could be made. Of course, they had a problem if they continued to milk this place for any longer, he thought. Word about a group making so much money would cause trouble fast, so hopefully Haruhi could be persuaded to head to another town before they kept the games going.
"Hmph... maybe I should bet Kyon on the next match. You could throw it, couldn't you?" asked Haruhi innocently, sipping foul beer over at the bar. Yuki looked down at her water, nodding her head to indicate a no. Their musings were interrupted when the door to the bar slammed open dramatically.
Before swinging back shut, somewhat less-dramatically.
Stepping forward, holding the door open as he cursed stood the man with the weak beard from before.
"This here's a stick up!" he yelled, holding his gun in the air. Immediately the room went silent, the locals eyeing him cautiously.
"What was your name again? Tana-something, right?" Haruhi eyed him sceptically, wondering who would give that pervert a revolver.
"Tanaguchi! Remember it!" he yelled, voice quavering nervously. "I'll be taking all of your winnings, for humiliating me earlier!"
"I don't think so," Haruhi smirked as she answered, leaping onto the bar with a clack! of her boots. Pulling her own revolver out of the holster-less dress (Kyon noted this carefully) she quickly fired a warning shot, ducking behind the counter to reload as he responded. Kyon pulled Yuki and Mikuru behind the table next to them, overturning it quickly in his panic, just as things got wild.
The bar owner revealed his shotgun as no less then five men and one prostitute with green hair all revealed various arms, all ready to defend themselves. Naturally, this number of firing guns made the panic and chaos all the worse, as glasses smashed, bullets ricocheted and lights went out, women and Tanaguchi screaming as the first man hit the ground.
"Koizumi!" Mikuru cried out, hand outstretched towards the fallen cacti, before Kyon pulled her back.
"It's too late for him," he told her sternly, as Haruhi suddenly joined them behind their table-make-shield.
"Isn't this fun?" she exclaimed, eyes shining.
"We could die!"
"My point exactly!"
Tanaguchi fell backwards, shot in the leg, as the men grew out of control. Seizing opportunity when they saw it, several outlaws began to try to steal from the bar, even as others attempted to escape through broken windows and upstairs.
"Lets' get out of here already, before someone remembers we have the biggest stash of cash to take!" yelled Kyon, not waiting for a reply. Running towards the door he tackled through the wood, dragging Haruhi by the hand. His hat jumped into the air, blown upwards by a stray bullet, even as they ran as fast as they could through the dusty street, sounds of the brawl spilling out behind them. Yuki kept pace, running with a stoic expression on her face, closely followed by Mikuru, stumbling in her boots.
"This was a disaster!" yelled Kyon, face red.
"This was even better then I expected!" whooped Haruhi, spinning to fire random shots back towards the bar.
"Why the hell did I think this time would be any different," moaned Kyon, as they high-tailed it out of town.
"Hey, Yuki did make lots of money!" yelled Haruhi, gesturing towards the bag she was swinging. Unfortunately, only the crazy brunette and Yuki had remembered to take their money in the hurried escape, leaving half of the profits back in the bar. By the time they bought tickets for the coach to the next town over, they had hardly made a profit at all.
A/N: I consider this one a failure OTL
It's a western in setting, but the tone and themes aren't at all... Admittedly, a 'lone gunman fuelled by revenge' sort of story would be horribly out of character for Yuki, and she's not down-to-earth enough to pull off any kind of western character staple I know of, so it could be a good thing it worked out like this?
Anyway, here is the latest oneshot, please let me know what you thought and would like to see next. Later~