"So, how's it feel, five missions under your belt, heading out to number six? Getting into a rhythm?" Sam asked, collapsing into his seat on the quinjet. He grinned at Nika. "You're doin' good, Gummybear."
Nika blushed. She'd discovered gummy bears a few months ago and rapidly fallen into a semi-dangerous obsession with them; the bloom had faded off that rose however, Nika couldn't stand the sight of those little gelatin bastards anymore, but the nickname had already stuck.
"Getting better, Chickenhawk." Nika tossed back with a grin, knowing Sam hated that nickname as much as she hated Gummybear.
Sam smirked and flipped her a friendly bird, dropping his gaze to his wrist gauntlet and beginning to tap at it.
A bottle of water appeared, dangling in the air in front of Nika and she glanced up at the profferer with a smile. "Thanks Bucky." Accepting the gift she twisted off the lid and took a drink, swallowing the cool liquid with a barely muffled sigh. She'd yet to figure out how, suspected it had something to do with his metal arm, but Bucky always managed to chill her water to the exact right temperature.
Bucky fell back into his own seat with a groan, scrunching his eyes to disguise the happy grin threatening to explode on his face from Nika's beautiful smile before Sam saw and started teasing him. It had been months, eight long months, since their kiss on the Tower roof. Despite the fact that it caused him physical pain to be anywhere in Nika's proximity, his nerves on fire, hands itching, body screaming to pull her close and feel her kiss again, he'd held back; burying his desires to respect her request. But that hadn't meant he'd been idle, hadn't worked to become her friend and team-mate.
Nika had been diligent with therapy these last eight months, meeting the same doctor Bucky saw three times a week at first, now only weekly. Her fears of the dark and cold were gone, and her total aversion to silence was almost overcome, she'd even begun to dabble in meditation to conquer the last of the shadows in her mind. It was always entertaining to see Nika in the lotus position on a cushion somewhere in the Tower, eyes shut and shoulders relaxed while whoever she'd roped into joining her, usually Bucky but sometimes Steve, perched uncomfortably a few feet away. Steve would give it a real try, eyes squeezed shut, trying to force Nirvana through sheer will, while Bucky usually just waited until Nika's eyes were shut then spent the entire time gazing at her with hungry, worshipping eyes.
After a few anxious weeks where Nika wavered between options and Bucky had felt like he was rolling around on pins and needles waiting, she'd decided to take up the mantle of good; joining the Avengers, to Tony's near orgasmic delight, and adding her unique and powerful skill set to the group. Like Tony had described earlier, she was like a hybrid of Nat and Bucky, a serum enhanced, highly trained assassin; able to infiltrate targets with almost supernatural stealth, then attack with almost supernatural strength. She'd successfully completed five missions so far and, although Bucky had known deep in his bones that Nika was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, he'd worried each time anyway, making sure to keep his own wide-shouldered body between her and the worst dangers.
Today was no exception. This was supposed to be a quick in and out, but if Bucky had learned anything in his extended life, first as a Howlin' Commando, then an assassin and finally as an Avenger, it was that things rarely went as expected. Whether their intel had been flawed or simply incomplete the team now found themselves tying up way more loose ends and moping up a much larger mess than initially planned for.
There was potentially one target still loose as well and Steve had split the team, half to track the loose target, the other half to finish what they'd already started. Nika was one of the appointed trackers, and Steve knew if he kept Bucky back he'd be left with half an agent anyway, Bucky's attention forever tied to her, so he'd sent Bucky out tracking as well.
He shadowed Nika carefully, staying within comm range, eyes restlessly scanning for signs of one last target. This was a small, HYDRA-funded base, not obviously affiliated with the global terror, but tied indirectly to research and development and they'd already come across of few potentially nasty booby traps the agents had peppered the bunker with. This seemed to be the new normal for HYDRA, funding and supporting smaller labs scattered across the globe, hiding their footprint through third parties.
Bucky saw Nika turn a corner ahead of him and her voice ghosted over the comm. "Dead end, nothing here... wait-"
A sense of dread began to claw up Bucky's spine and he began to sprint soundlessly towards her. He turned the corner, mouth opened to call out for Nika when suddenly the world exploded and everything went black.
Bucky coughed, waving ineffectively at the dust and debris clogging the air. His ears still rang, heart still raced. As he'd sprinted towards Nika he'd belated recognized a tell-tale ping of a breaking trip-wire, but his momentum and drive to reach Nika was overwhelming and he'd turned the corner, an explosion had ripped through the corridor behind them; the force of the blast throwing both Avengers into the dead end wall. For a long moment it had been absolute confusion for Bucky as he tried to regain his bearings. He saw that the only thing keeping him and Nika from being sticky red smears on the wall was the fact that the explosion had originated from around the corner, behind them and the main concentration of the blast had missed them. Whether this had been pure luck for them to both be around the corner or part of some new insidious plan, Bucky wasn't sure, but he could tell by the change in pressure and the way the sound echoed dully that just around the corner they would find their escape route blocked by debris, the corridor collapsed.
"Nika? Nika?!" He croaked, eyes desperately trying to see through the dust and find her; part of the corridor above them had fallen in as well, and large chunks littered the floor, Bucky stumbling gracelessly over them as he searched desperately. Nika still hadn't answered him and god knew where she'd landed after crashing into the wall, how far away from her Bucky was shambling, disoriented in the haze. He thumbed his comm.
"Anyone copy?"
Silence.
"Anyone copy?! Shit!"
His boot hit something, softer than stone, giving slightly under his unintentional kick and Bucky fell to his knees, reaching out half-blindly. The haze cleared enough for Bucky to see what he'd ran into and when he finally recognized it, his heart stopped.
Nika lay face down and unmoving, a pool of blood growing larger by the second under her head.
Fear like Bucky had never felt before squeezed around his heart, kicking him in the gut and completely wiping out his oxygen; half-gasping, half-praying he reached for Nika, hands shaking and fluttering with the beginnings of real terror. For a few heartbeats he actually lost control, giving into full-blown panic for a few rasping breaths, eyes rolling and fingers clenching spasmodically before some semblance of focus returned.
"Nika?" He tried again, hands gently brushing her shoulders, pressing carefully at the back of her neck, feeling for fractures. "Nika!"
"Uhh-" A muffled groan and Nika shifted slightly, dragging her hand up from her side to press into the floor beside her head. Still groaning she started to lift her head but Bucky gently pushed her back down,
"Lay still, baby. Let me check-"
"Uhhh, dammit." Ignoring Bucky Nika pushed herself to a seated position, arms shaking with effort and lifted her face, eyes squeezed shut and Bucky nearly sobbed with relief. Nika's nose was obviously broken, angled off to the side and gushing blood down her lip; that was the pool under her head that terrified Bucky, not some catastrophic head wound, some crushed and gaping hole in her skull.
Exhaling raggedly Bucky cupped Nika's cheek, so overwhelmed at the moment that he couldn't do anything more than gasp, repeat her name like a mantra. Finally Nika looked up at him, a bruise already darkening the delicate skin around her eyes. Her forehead furrowed as she pressed her sleeve to her nose to stem the flow.
"Bucky? What-" She squawked in surprise as Bucky yanked her towards him, crushed her to his chest, arms snaking around her and half-sobbed into her neck.
"Bucky?"
"I thought-, fuck baby, I saw the blood and-" he burrowed his head deeper, inhaling her scent and wincing as his muscles almost painfully loosened. Pulling back to look once more at her face he clamped down hard on his emotions, forcing himself to focus on her injury and not the horror of what might have been. He reached down to adjust her legs, to help her sit more upright but pulled back sharply when Nika hissed, jolting roughly in his arms.
"What the fuck?!" She spat, before inhaling sharply, hands hovering uncertainly above her thigh. Bucky followed her glare and swallowed hard.
Protruding slightly just above and beside her knee was a chunk of rebar. The faint lump visible under her combat pants showed that a large portion of it was buried deep in her thigh, running parallel to her femur. In the hazy darkness her pants were soaked, sticky with blood and Bucky reached for his belt, yanking it off and wrapping it tightly midway on her thigh, pulling it tight.
"Sorry baby," he murmured as Nika hissed in response, hands clamping on his.
"S'ok," She breathed deeply and raised her head. "My nose is broken, right?"
Bucky nodded.
"And you'll have to pull this rebar out?"
"Yeah, sorry baby."
"We're trapped here?
"Think so, either there was an EM pulse or the collapse is blocking our comms, we're stuck until the team finds us."
Nika sighed then nodded. "Are you hurt?"
Bucky fell silent, quickly evaluating his own body before shaking his head. "Nothing big."
Nika inhaled deeply, squaring her shoulders. "Nose first."
Nodding, Bucky reached up, cradled the back of Nika's head with his metal hand, carefully pinched just below the bridge of her nose between his flesh thumb and index finger.
"Okay, on the count-"
"Just do it, Buck. Don't let me get all- Fuck!" Rearing back Nika clasped at her face, a colourful litany of Russian curses spouting from her lips, surprising Bucky with their fervour and creativity; after a few moments she relaxed, breathing hard before dropping her hands, grinning weakly at Bucky's hang-dog look.
"Let me see," Bucky murmured and Nika tilted her head slightly, grin widening at the serious look on Bucky's face as he scrutinized her nose carefully before nodding, pulling a clean rag from Nika's pack to gently dab at the blood on her face. "It's back in place," he exhaled ruefully. "Now your leg, baby."
Nika nodded in resignation, pulling the rag from Bucky to twist in her hands. "Same thing, just do it."
Bucky loosened the belt, relieved to see the bleeding seemed to have stopped and pulled the first aid kit from Nika's pack. Rooting through it he found what he wanted, laying the gauze and bandages within reach and twisting the lid off the bottle of alcohol. Soaking a wad of gauze he carefully wrapped it around the end of the rebar. "If you weren't serum enhanced like me I'd just leave it in and let Bruce remove it, but your body will start to heal around it and I don't know what that'll do to your leg."
"I understand Bucky, just do it fast, no countdown."
"Alright baby." He focussed on the bar, preparing to yank it out.
Nika's finger came up, gently flicking his chin and breaking his concentration. "You keep calling me that."
"What?"
"Baby. You keep calling me baby."
Bucky flushed bright red, not even realizing he'd been calling Nika by his private pet name, the name he'd given her in his mind and dreams and thoughts for months now. "I, uh..."
Nika smiled warmly and rubbed her thumb gently across his bottom lip, sparking a flash of warmth through Bucky before pulling away. For a moment they were both silent, gazing at each other before Nika broke the trance, sighing deeply.
"Okay, pull that bitch out." Bucky jolted at her words, crashing back to the present.
"Right, okay. No countdown."
"Right, no- motherfucker!" Nika hissed, hands grabbing Bucky's almost painfully but Bucky pulled away, grabbing the gauze and alcohol, soaking a wad and pressing it to the wound. Nika's colourful Russian continued, again surprising Bucky with her originality and he took the opportunity of her furious distraction to pour the rest of the alcohol into the wound before wrapping it tightly. As he tied the last knot he gripped Nika's hands with his, letting her squeeze them painfully as she took deep breaths, trying to regain her equilibrium.
"I'm such a pussy," she huffed, jerking her chin to flick a hank of hair off her forehead.
"No, you're not." Bucky replied, eyes glowing with pride. "You're a fucking warrior," he reached up and tucked the loose hair behind her ear then traced his finger gently along her jaw-line to her chin before dropping it back down to their clasped hands. "I just reset your nose and pulled a chunk of metal out of your leg, you're definitely allowed to swear."
Grinning faintly Nika lifted her head and eyed Bucky, a teasing light in her gaze. "Looks okay? Or am I going to rock a boxer's schnoz forever?"
"It looks good, you always look good." The last part fell out before Bucky realized he'd actually said and he flushed, swallowing awkwardly.
Nika tilted her head, studying him a moment before murmuring quietly. "Thank you, Bucky."
"For what, baby?"
"Giving me space; time to work my shit out. I didn't mean to, but I overheard you and Steve a few days ago, I never meant to hurt you like that."
Bucky looked down abruptly, swallowing hard. A few days ago, in a deserted corridor he'd vented to Steve, lamenting the constant pain he felt, the unfulfilled desire, the abject, wretched loneliness that he knew only Nika could alleviate. This hadn't been the first time he'd spoken to Steve about it, hadn't been the first time his friend and brother had asked how he was holding up and then listened sympathetically to his sorrow, but he'd never intended for Nika to overhear.
"I'm sorry, I never meant for you to hear -"
His words were cut off by Nika leaning forwards, pressing her lips to his and he shuddered against her, flesh arm wrapping around her while his metal hand reached up to cup the back of her head, pulling her closer as he poured the past eight months of anguish into his kiss, swallowing her moan as he rumbled deep in his chest, fire coiling through his limbs.
Hesitantly, only when they were both collectively reeling from oxygen deprivation did they pull apart, foreheads resting together as they panted. Bucky was speechless, but his body clamoured for more and he pulled Nika desperately to him again, forehead furrowing when she pressed a hand to his chest and pushed back. His eyes met hers, pupils blown with desire and saw answering longing, coupled with guilt.
"Buck, I'm sorry." She rasped, fingers curling into his tactical vest and for an agonizing heartbeat Bucky assumed she meant to break him completely, ask him to stop waiting for her, tell him that she could never be his. "I want this. Jesus, God I want this," she continued, voice quavering. "You have no idea... but not here. I want our first to be... "
Relief flooded Bucky, making him sag slightly. He could wait forever, as long as Nika was a certainty at the end. "Special?" He murmured, fighting back a grin, pressing his forehead to hers again. "Not covered in dust and debris and blood?"
"Not with our ears ringing and comms dead?" Nika added, smiling.
"Waiting for our sorry asses to be rescued?" Bucky chuckled. He scooted backwards, pulling Nika gently along with him. His back hit the wall and Nika settled between his spread legs, leaning back against his chest. "I'll wait baby, then... " He pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to the side of her throat, hissing in pleasure when she shuddered against him then rested his chin in the crook of her neck, arms tightening around her.
After a moment Nika took his hands and began to play affectionately with them. Bucky watched her, entranced and relaxing under her gentle ministrations like purring tomcat as she measured the span of Bucky's palm against her own before curling his fingers down one by one until the only one still extended was his middle finger. Bucky chuckled at her sass, burrowing his face into her neck.
"Fuck you HYDRA, you didn't break us." She whispered.
Nika found herself drowsing after awhile, secure in Bucky's arms, forgetting the lingering pain and discomfort; lulled by his gentle exhales on her neck, the random lingering kisses he'd press to her throat before nuzzling further into her hair, his reverent murmuring of her name, giving her a taste of the attentions her was going to shower her with; the way he'd never let her go, now that he finally had her.
"Baby?" Bucky mumbled after awhile.
"Hmmm?"
"You don't have to tell me now but... have you ever?" He let his question tail off, but Nika realized what he meant, and while it was a little random, considering their surroundings, it actually wasn't, based on the way they were clinging to each other, the direction their bodies were obviously craving to go; and while Nika didn't mind answering Bucky, she didn't what she was about to say.
Taking a deep breath and feigning a nonchalance she didn't feel Nika began to murmur. "It would be a tactical disadvantage for a HYDRA agent to be... inexperienced in any situation. If I was required to be close to a man, it would not be... pragmatic to be a blushing virgin." Bucky loosened his grip, pulling away, not in horror but to look into her eyes as she continued. "Pierce himself took my virginity." She tried for a blasé tone, but her eyes began to fill with tears and a low whine of distress rumbled deep in Bucky's chest as he pulled her close again, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her back, wishing he hadn't asked but knowing that, now that she'd started, she needed to remove this scab and let the poison out.
"After he was done, and thank god it didn't take long... he ordered seven of his agents to continue; to 'break me in'. He'd given me instructions to lay still and not fight and, like a good little soldier, I did... this was before I got fucked up in cryofreeze. He didn't stay around to watch so they got a little... over-zealous, I guess," she paused when Bucky shuddered against her, but there was no point in stopping now. "They either forgot or didn't care that I'd been ordered not to react, so after awhile one of them got mad and said-" she cut herself off sharply.
"What? Nika, you can tell me. Let it out, I know it hurts but trust me it'll feel better."
Not this. Nika thought bleakly. She exhaled hard, "He said, 'go wake up the Asset and let him have a go at her, that'll make her scream.'"
Bucky jolted in her arms, shivering as a wave of ice-cold horror surged down his spine. He had no memories of this, but that meant precious little, considering how many times he'd been wiped; Christ, if he hurt Nika in that way, even as the Winter Soldier he would never forgive himself. "Jesus baby, did I-" he couldn't finish, falling silent, feeling light-headed.
"No," Nika murmured and Bucky went slack with soul-deep relief against her. "Waking you up was too expensive, Pierce would have been pissed off at the waste. They lost interest after a few hours and left me alone. One came back a few days later for more, but Pierce hadn't ordered me to submit this time, so I waited until his pants were down then tore off his dick and shoved it down his throat."
Bucky swallowed hard, instinct telling him that Nika wasn't in any way exaggerating or stretching the truth.
"Word got around that trying anything with me meant forced castration followed by suffocation on your own appendage kind of dried up the queue of potential challengers." Nika pulled her head back enough to look Bucky in the eye and managed a half-smile. "I didn't submit again. My body is for me to give to someone, not have it taken."
His mouth moving but no sound coming out, Bucky could only pull Nika back against him, felt her claw tightly to him even as he clawed more tightly to her and he wasn't sure, as his eyes closed, if the sounds of heartbroken tears were coming from him or her.
After a time Nika felt Bucky go slack against her, his arms loosening slightly and she realized he'd fallen asleep, drained by their conversation and Nika could only summon a sense of relief that she'd answered his question, even if he couldn't have known the answer would be so heart-rending, and probably regretting asking; it was one less weight on her chest, not only getting the poison out, but having Bucky react the way he did, with sympathy and horror for her, not anger or shame, disgust at her failing, her contamination. Her ass was growing numb on the concrete floor and she tried to shift to a more comfortable position but Bucky roused sleepily, mumbling unintelligibly and hugged her tighter. She heard him breathe her name, like a benediction before burrowing closer, his lips brushing the tender skin behind her ear, bringing on a shiver of delight. Her body was amazingly responsive to his, seemed to crave his touch and she wasn't sure she'd survive the tsunami of passion that awaited her.
She'd felt a connection to him right from the start, but in the beginning she'd been far too messed up to even make sense of her feelings, let alone act on them. In darker, more reflective moments she'd sometimes had success in convincing herself that her strange draw to the quiet assassin was solely due to her HYDRA connection to him, her training and purpose, to be his hunter and executioner; but after Shuri and her time spent in Wakanda, she'd no longer been able to fool herself. Shuri had managed to remove all of the insidious stain of HYDRA's training, their lethal and unethical machinations, but, after she'd woken up, the warm sun streaming gently through the open window, the Wakandian princess and Captain America standing beside her bed, her first thoughts had been immediately of Bucky, where he was, was he okay, had she done or said something unforgivable to him in the chaotic mess of her memories since startling awake on the quinjet? Even with HYDRA's indoctrinated focus on him gone she still was thinking of him, still drawn to him. And when Shuri confirmed some days later that every trace of HYDRA was gone from her brain, that the simple and common words like 'evergreen' and 'sister' and 'sorrow' no longer had the power to erase her will and turn her into a soulless killing machine, she'd realized that Bucky was on her mind all the time because she loved him, that an evil organization may have initially connected them for their own sadistic reasons, but they were fated from the start, from the beginnings of time to be.
But she'd needed to be first, needed to heal and purge the residual poison from her system before she could embrace this fate, start the life she was destined for. She needed to be a clean slate, a fresh start not only as a gift to Bucky, but as a gift to herself. And Bucky had been selfless enough to step back. She'd seen traces of strain in his eyes at times, a tightening of his jaw or clench of his fists when they got too close sparring or joking in the kitchen, throwing together snacks for another movie night, the way his gaze would linger on her a heartbeat too long; the times they'd end up sitting together on the couch, no other spots available and he would lean slightly over, lips barely grazing her hair and inhale with a moan, so quietly and so gently that she wouldn't even notice if not for her own enhanced senses.
Steve had become her strongest friend and confidante, the one who, even if he couldn't relate to her HYDRA horrors, was unfailingly strong and sympathetic, a rock-hard and dependable shoulder to cry on; the one who smiled slyly when Nika first confessed her feelings for Bucky to him and reassured her that not only were her feelings reciprocated, but Bucky would wait as long as she needed, that the man who was at one time the most feared man in the world was also the softest.
"-ky? Nik-... copy?" Their comms squawked to life, tinny static erupting, startling them both, Bucky's arms tightening around Nika's almost painfully for a half-second before his head snapped up, awake and alert.
"Steve?" Bucky barked, thumbing his comm.
"-cky?"
"Copy."
"-K? We... look-... hours."
"We're stuck in a cave-in, corridor 7C."
"... hurt?"
"Nika's banged up, she'll need to see Bruce."
"...most there... -and by."
"Copy." Bucky grinned widely, reaching up to cup Nika's cheek. "See, nothing to worry about, they found us."
Nika scoffed good-naturedly. "I wasn't scared, I was just thinking ahead to what I was going to have to listen to when you got bored and started singing. Karaoke last time was almost painful." She laughed out loud when Bucky elbowed her, wrapping a thick arm around her neck and pulling her close, her laugh morphing into a squeal as he burrowed into her throat, biting playfully.
"I love you, baby." Bucky breathed, then tensed. Although it was far from secret, he hadn't meant to utter those three little words yet. He pulled away, ready to start babbling, tell Nika that it was alright, to forget what he'd said, that he wasn't expecting her to respond yet just but he fell silent, entranced by the look in her eyes.
Warmth and love blazed in her violet eyes, turning them amethyst. She reached up, her hand warm against his cheek and he leaned into her touch, eyes threatening to flutter shut in relaxed bliss.
"Bucky, I-"
A thunderous boom interrupted her next words and they exploded apart and to their feet instinctively, ready to fight back. Another boom, then-
"Buc- Nik-"
Sighing in mingled relief and frustration Bucky thumbed his comm and began to pick his way through the rubble. "Yeah, Steve?"
Another crash and Bucky took a few steps back, waving away the cloud of dust rising in his face. Nika moved to join him, watched as the wall of rubble shook, small chunks beginning to fall. She felt Bucky nudge her fingers with his, then grip her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and squeezing; she squeezed back, leaning against his shoulder. A large chunk rolled down, landing with a crash at their feet and making them dance out of the way then a flashlight shone in, blinding them.
"Hey!" Bucky barked, holding up a shielding hand.
"Oh, sorry!" Steve's face appeared in the gap instead, grinning widely. "Hey Nika." There was a slapping sound and he frowned, then a muffled scuffling. His face disappeared and Nat was suddenly visible.
"Sister, are you okay?" In her worry, Nat slipped back into rapid-fire Russian.
"I'm fine Nat, Bucky's a good nurse." She grinned when Bucky nudged her and Nat's eyes narrowed for a second before a smile touched her eyes and she nodded slightly.
More scuffling, then Steve again. "Get back, you two. I'm going to hit it hard."
"Okay." Bucky gripped Nika's arm and pulled her away, herding her into the farthest corner and she was just amused enough to not fight back. Nanny Bucky was going to be interesting, if mildly suffocating. Pushing her gently but inexorably to her knees he crowded behind her, enveloping and shielding her with his body as the sounds of hammering and thudding grew louder behind them. Bucky's broad shoulders blocked out all but the loudest crashes and she felt the walls shaking slightly.
"Buck, I'm okay. You don't need to shield me."
"I'm not letting you get hurt again," he muttered by her ear. "I finally got you, I'm not jeopardizing that."
Nika sighed slightly. That would be a fight for another day; Bucky was not going to hamper her taking part in missions, or helping out the team with an over-inflated protector complex.
One last thunderous boom and Nika heard debris shower the walls around them. Bucky grunted sharply in pain as something hit him in the back, knocking him into Nika, pressing her harder into the corner.
"Bucky?" Nika hated the screech of emerging panic in her voice as she pushed back, twisting like a cat beneath Bucky's body to see his face.
Sweat shone on his brow, but he managed a smile. "I'm good, baby." He rolled his shoulder and winced. "Pretty good bruise I think."
"Buck? Nika?" Steve appeared around the corner, dust swirling in his wake.
"What the hell, man?" Bucky grumbled. kicking away a boulder the size of melon, the one that hit him, and rising to his feet. "You use a grenade or something?"
Sam appeared behind him, shrugging. "Quit bein' a pussy, Barnes. You okay, Gummybear?"
"Yeah, you get that last guy?"
"While you two were in here playin' around? Yeah."
Nika rolled her eyes good naturedly, pushing imaginary glasses up her nose with her middle finger before yelping in surprised pain as she touched the tender bridge. Sam snickered, already gauging by her black eyes that she'd broken her nose and Bucky tutted in disapproval, throwing Sam a glower before pulling Nika to his side and pressing a kiss to her temple, resting his forehead to her hair and closing his eyes peacefully, his arms tightening around her; making the rest of the team stop dead and stare, jaws dropping. Bucky's feelings for Nika were at least suspected by everyone, if not outright known, but no one expected such a blatant show from the normally shy and reserved Bucky. Pulling away Bucky glanced around and grinned somewhat bashfully, but with a hint of pride in his eyes, he was staking his claim.
"C'mon, lovebirds." Sam grumbled, turning on his heel. "Or should we give you guys some time alone?"
"If I didn't know better Chickenhawk, I'd say you were jealous," Nika called teasingly.
"Of you or Tin Man?" Sam shot back playfully.
"Enough." Steve declared, zeroing in on Nika. "Can you walk?" He glanced down at her leg and Nika followed his gaze.
"Shit," she grumbled. Sometime in the last little bit, either when she'd leapt to her feet at the first booms, or when Bucky had pushed her down into the corner, her thigh had begun to bleed again and her pants leg was again wet with blood. Thick arms scooped under her knees and behind her shoulders, making Nika squeak as Bucky picked her up effortlessly, holding her to his chest bridal style.
"Bucky, I can walk."
"Yeah, but you're not; you're bleeding again, you probably need stitches."
"Don't bother arguing," Sam called from farther ahead. "Mother hen's acluckin'. You're going to get nannied to death now."
Bucky's growl held a hint of real steel and Steve rested a hand on his shoulder silently, cutting a glare to his oldest friend. Bucky huffed and dropped his head to nuzzle into Nika's hair a moment before lifting it and resuming his cautious trek through the corridor, missing Nat's quick nod of approval.
The flight back was quiet. Sam seemed to have petered out with his teasing of Bucky and sprawled half-asleep in his seat, earphones in. Clint and Nat were seated together, apart from everyone else, heads touching, either asleep or talking and Steve was in the cockpit. Nika had tried to sit up there with him, she'd been co-piloting off and on to learn how to fly for the last few months but Steve just grinned and waved her away.
"Go sit with Bucky," he smiled, genuinely happy for them, "I can handle this." His brows furrowed in mock-seriousness and he pointed a stern finger at her. "But behave."
"Yes dad," Nika grinned, leaning forwards to plant a kiss on his tousled hair. Nika loved him like a big brother, and she'd wormed her way into a special place in Steve's heart, a treasured little sister for him to fuss over and tease and guide. Ruffling his hair a little extra, earning a gentle head butt in return Nika left the cockpit and moved back to Bucky's side.
He reached up eagerly for her as she approached and pulled Nika down into his lap, ignoring Steve's tut of disapproval from the cockpit. Forever the stickler for rules Steve usually insisted on everyone sitting in their own seats, belts on but Bucky didn't care right now, he just wanted to hold her.
"Stop walking around," he chastised gently, cupping her face and stroking his thumb along her cheekbone. "You're going to start bleeding again."
"I'm not made of glass, Buck." Nika protested.
Bucky opened his mouth to reply but Nika clasped his chin, pushing his mouth closed. Her fingers rasped against his stubble as she stroked his jaw gently to soften what she was about to say. "I can't be smothered, Bucky. I've been lorded over and controlled my whole life; I can't do it anymore."
Surprise and fear flashed briefly through Bucky's eyes and Nika felt a flare of guilt; she hadn't meant to sound so immovable, but she needed to assert herself. He lowered his head to rest his forehead to hers and murmured, his voice thick with emotion, fraught with fear that he'd already fucked up and pushed her away.
"I would never try to control you. Jesus baby, out of everyone, you think I don't know how it hurts to not be in control of your own life?" He pulled away slightly, fingertips stroking desperately at her cheek, her jaw, her throat before finally coiling into her hair. "Please. Please don't push me away."
His fear was so visceral it sent chills down Nika's spine and, knowing words weren't enough right now, closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.
Bucky whined, a pure animal whimper of relief and pulled Nika closer, his kiss desperate, deepening by the second. His extreme reaction frightened Nika slightly, not because it made her think she would have to put her own wants and needs on hold to keep from distressing him, but because she hadn't truly realized the depth of his feelings for her. She'd imagined her love to be slightly one-sided, not believing herself worthy of someone like Bucky, someone who'd fought and struggled through so much to become the man he was today; Nika saw with sorrow that, while he was a formidable man, a shining example of triumph over your past, he didn't see it, and while Nika was worrying that she wasn't in his league, he was terrified of the same. It was going to take time for him to accept that Nika truly did love him, as much as he loved her, and that he was deserving of it.
He pulled away with a ragged moan, panting, pressing his forehead to hers and she reached up, tracing the racing pulse in his throat, skin goose-bumping as he shuddered beneath her.
"I'm not. I won't. I just needed to say it, I can't be controlled anymore, regardless of the intent behind it."
"I understand," his words were faint.
"And," Nika continued, fingers touching his lips, smiling slightly when he kissed them. "I promise to never do the same to you."
His eyes opened, blinding Nika with their brilliance before fluttering closed again as he leaned forwards to kiss her again.
His body relaxed against hers and Nika sighed in contentment, snuggling closer, despite her shaky beginning here with the team, her crazy first few days and weeks, something deep inside her just relaxed around Bucky, and her body and mind just were around him, free from the memories and fears; she didn't have to think about how a young woman would act with someone they loved, she just... was. Bucky's eyes stayed closed, even after they pulled apart slightly, and he nuzzled instead into the crook of her neck, one last heavy sigh indicating that he was rapidly falling asleep. Nika was loathe to move and decided to risk Steve's wrath by staying put, her own eyes falling shut as she fell into a dreamless slumber.
A hand on her shoulder woke her later and she yawned, raising her head from it's burrow in Bucky's throat, lifting bleary eyes to Steve. His grin was apologetic.
"We're landing soon, you can risk Sam's endless teasing and stay, or get in your own seat."
Nika rolled her eyes, "I'll come up with you." She could handle Sam, but didn't want Bucky to be harassed right now. Carefully she extricated herself, wincing as her thigh wound pulled. Bucky huffed and grumbled unhappily in his sleep, like a bear, bringing a grin to Steve's face as Nika gently murmured to him, waiting until he relaxed again before straightening. When she turned around Steve slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close, planting a sloppy kiss on the top of her head.
"You're good for him." He whispered as they walked towards the cockpit. "He... you both deserve happiness after everything HYDRA's done to you."
"So you approve?" Nika teased, secretly holding her breath; she held Steve's opinions in the highest esteem.
Steve waited until they were both buckled in the cockpit seats and he'd disengaged the auto-pilot before answering. "Both of you have experienced things that no human ever should. You're the only one who has an concept of what Bucky's experienced and he's the only one who can even begin to understand your personal hell. Even if you weren't in love you'd be connected in that way. But I saw the look in Bucky's eyes when we first found you and, even though you were completely out of your mind the first time you woke up back at the Tower, the look in your eyes too. Your hearts knew, right from the start. You both just have to make sure your heads don't get in the way." He glanced over at Nika, smiling slightly. "If there's such a thing as soul-mates, then I think you've found yours."
"You're going to make me cry." Nika mumbled, unused to the rush of emotions Steve's heartfelt words stirred in her.
"Didn't mean to," Steve replied quietly, reaching over to pat her hand. "But I meant what I said, if there's anyone in this crazy world who deserves happiness, it's you and Bucky."
"You too," Nika replied.
Steve sighed, throwing Nika a crooked grin. "They're out there somewhere, I hope."
Nika smiled widely back. "You'll find them again, you deserve it too."
Steve looked directly at Nika for a moment, long enough that she asked, her voice uncertain. "What? Do I have a boogie?" Her hand drifted to her nose, wincing as she brushed it a little too hard.
He grinned, shaking his head. "No, just thinking about the girl we pulled out of Siberia and how far you've come. That girl was broken and, I can admit it now, I wasn't sure if you could be helped, but look at you now."
"Now you are going to make me cry," Nika muttered, wiping at her cheek.
"I love you, kid."
"Love you back, Captain."
Bucky roused just as the quinjet landed, glancing around blearily for Nika, half-formed sadness developing in his chest; he wanted to wake up every time with her secure in his arms, then heard her laugh from the cockpit, a smile pulling at his lips from the sound.
"We're home!" She hollered, dissolving into giggles when her announcement startled Sam awake; his snore turning into a loud snort as he jolted in his seat, before he threw back a grumpy retort, an invitation for Nika to go and reproduce with herself.
She danced from the cockpit, her wide smile absolute kryptonite to Bucky and returned the friendly invitation to Sam, complete with a hand gesture illegal in most states. Skipping by the still grumbling man she leaned forwards, capturing Bucky's mouth in a quick kiss, but when she tried to pull back Bucky cupped the back of her head and held her tight, deepening it, tracing his tongue along her bottom lip and groaning low in his chest when she parted them, allowing him inside.
"Ugh... Steve! They're doing it again!" Sam bellowed.
Giggling against Bucky's mouth, Nika pressed a hand to his chest and pulled away, smiling at Bucky's low growl.
"Later," she whispered, wetting her lips and making Bucky's pants even tighter before straightening and whirling away.
"Get bent, Chickenhawk."
"After you, Gummybear."
"You love me." He laughed.
"I tolerate you."
Steve, emerging from the cockpit right them burst into startled laughter, joining Nat and Clint, who'd been quietly watching the entire exchange with the look of patient, if exhausted, parents. Sam tried to eye Nika severely, but couldn't hold it and started chuckling, shaking his head. Bucky stepped up behind Nika, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head in the crook of her neck. Surprise again flashed briefly through the team's eyes at Bucky's PDA, but faded even quicker, if this was the new normal, they were more than okay with it.
"Just tell Tin Man to keep it in his pants until you get back to your room, I don't need nightmares."
"Your virgin eyes?" Nika teased as Bucky turned his head into her neck, muffling his chuckle.
"M' virgin everything." Sam shot back, rolling his eyes. "For Pete's sake, I get to choose the movies tonight for putting up with this bullshit." He led the charge down the ramp, still shaking his head.
Bucky turned his head, his lips brushing Nika's ear. "I want you." He breathed, his voice low and rough. His arms tightened slightly as he remembered their earlier conversation. "I mean... only if you-"
Nika cut him off, turning and pressing a kiss to his lips, delighting in the way he seemed to melt against her. "Fuck yes, I do."
Bucky's grip on Nika's hip tightened as they entered the Tower, belying his excitement and Nika couldn't stop her own eager grin. Laying out her past to Bucky had stirred up old fears and anxieties but she couldn't in the farthest reaches of her imagination picture Bucky treating her in that way. She wanted to have new memories, good memories, of Bucky rising above her, muscles straining as he groaned her name, pleasure filling her as he thrust deep, hearing him almost whimper as he spilled inside her; not pain, not the twisted sneer of HYDRA agents, their rough hands and slaps, their piggish snorts as they finished, rolling off with a satisfied grunt.
She felt her pulse beginning to race and curled her arm around Bucky's waist in silent answer to his touch, her heart skyrocketing when she felt him shiver against her, her enhanced hearing catching his barely audible moan.
"Mr. Stark needs everyone in the main briefing room." FRIDAY's voice was crisp.
"What?!" Sam demanded. "We just got back!"
"It is important, Mr. Wilson."
"Tell him I'll be there in fifteen minutes, I'm taking a damn shower first!"
Nika could have sworn the AI's response was pissy. "I will inform Mr. Stark."
Steve sighed, glancing apologetically at the team. "Everyone take a shower, get collected. FRIDAY? Tell Tony we'll all be there in thirty minutes."
"Yes, Captain."
Wordlessly Bucky and Nika parted. They didn't need to speak, their eyes communicated for them. Shower, see what Tony wants, then we're disappearing and coming out when we damn well feel like it. There was no way they could start something and pull away again for a meeting; this dam had been held back for too long.
The shower felt divine but reminded Nika of the wound in her thigh; upon closer inspection she could see that it was already half-healed, and she decided to forgo a visit to the medical labs, it no longer needed stitches, just butterfly bandages and tagaderm.
Her thoughts drifted as water cascaded down her body, imaging Bucky's hands instead, his body pressed tight to hers as he stood under the spray with her, fingers massaging her scalp, rubbing the knots from her shoulders, trailing lower and lower as his lips grew more demanding at her throat...
Shaking herself Nika cursed her wandering mind and the heat it flared between her legs, she couldn't show up to the team meeting a pliant, panting mess, she needed to clamp down on this now. A shock of ice-cold water helped and she shivered gratefully as all thoughts of Bucky were temporarily shuttered, locked away. She waited for the inevitable flash of fear, of haunting memories to dredge up, the bone-numbing cold of cryofreeze, the hiss of arctic that snarled in her ears and bit deep into her skin to sneak up on her, but it never came; the residual warmth of her thoughts of Bucky were enough to keep the chill at bay.
Towelling dry she quickly dressed and hurried down the corridor, detouring on her way to the kitchen and grabbing a handful of protein bars, pausing, then stuffing another handful into her hoodie pocket. She'd probably be robbed blind by the others as soon as they detected food, and she wanted to have at least two bars left for herself and Bucky.
Tony was pacing impatiently when Nika arrived, but she was saved from receiving the brunt of his frustrations by the rest of the team, appearing from various corridors like magic. Irritably he shooed them into the briefing room, flapping his hands at them until they settled then collapsed into his chair with a frustrated sigh.
"We have a new problem-" he broke off with a scowl as the wrapper Nika was trying to open quietly rustled rather loudly. "I said-"
"Hey! Give me one! I'm starving." Sam reached his hand across the table, making 'gimme' fingers until Nika relented and tossed him a protein bar.
"Got a spare one, kid?" Steve asked, grinning sheepishly, his grin widening when Nika smirked and sent one skidding down the table towards him. She glanced at her sister and Clint, not even needing to ask and sent a few in their direction as well.
"Can I have one?" A voice husked in her ear, lips brushing her skin and she shivered, glancing over at Bucky, his eyes dark and glittering.
Nika purposefully licked her bottom lip, pulse racing at his breathy growl then held one out. Still holding her gaze Bucky reached over and took it, making sure to cover her hand with his as he did, letting his fingers slide off her hand slowly.
She could almost hear Tony's eyes rolling so she turned to him with a teasing smile. "Do you want one?"
Tony shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Children." He muttered under his breath. Raising his head he startled slightly when Nika tossed him a bar and it bounced on the table in front of him, making the team hide their snickers behind their half-eaten bars. "Alright, I see you're full of piss and vinegar, and it looks like you finally let Frosty catch you; it's about time, I was getting sick of seeing his sorry-ass puppy dog eyes every day. But! Getting down to business, as I was saying before Romper Room started, we have a new problem."
"Enlighten us," Steve quipped, clapping his hands with a very un-Captain America-like squeal when Nika tossed him her remaining protein bar, earning a glower from Sam and muffled chuckle from Bucky.
Exhaling heavily, throwing both Steve and Nika a 'I suffer you to live' glare he cleared his throat and began. "As part of my agreement with the government to defend and protect the country, I have access to any and all satellites in the air, the ones they acknowledge publicly and the ones they don't; yesterday I saw this."
Pressing some keys he turned to look at the display on the wall, where a series of satellite images came up, showing what it took Nika a moment to realize was a snow-covered landscape with small vehicles and even smaller people swarming around it.
"Northern Siberia. The site of the bunker we found you in, Nika. HYDRA has decided to revisit it."
The team muttered uneasily amongst themselves, playfulness over protein bars forgotten.
"Now," Tony continued. "We blasted it to all hell and gone when we left, I mean vaporized and there was no recognizable remains left, I scanned it myself, but HYDRA's out there for a reason and if they somehow figure out that Nika's not part of the body count then we've got a problem. I wish they'd waited a few years so that godforsaken eternal blizzard up there could have completely buried the site, but they didn't, so we have to prepare now."
Nika was confused. "Prepare for what?"
Tony frowned at her, like she was missing something devastatingly obvious. "Your sister is a known member of the Avengers. The only organization out there with the technology to find and destroy a site like that, besides HYDRA, is the Avengers. If they figure out you're not part of the corpsicle mincemeat down there, they're going to realize that we have you. And they know we helped purge their shit from Frosty's mind, so they're going to assume the same about you."
Nika still didn't understand. "But... I'm Experiment 847-52X, the 'X' meaning 'failure', I'm worthless to them, that's why they left me up there to rot in the first place!"
"And, by fixing their mistakes, we've created a fresh mind for them to re-educate. One that just so happens to retain their physical training and has been taught even more here." Tony replied. "Until we figure out what HYDRA has deducted from the site, and what they plan to do, I think you need to stay quarantined in the Tower, and sit out on missions as well."
Nika gaped at Tony for a second in shock, then scoffed and glanced around at the team, expecting to see the matching scorn, but instead saw the same worrying concern as on Tony's face. She snapped her head back to him.
"You're over-reacting." She shook her head for a moment then leapt to her feet, violet eyes blazing. "No! I lost fourteen goddamn years to HYDRA, I am not letting them take another second from me. I will not hide out in the Tower like a scared little bunny. Let them come for me, I invite them to try!" Whirling she sprinted from the room, slamming the door, her rage a palpable heat left behind.
"Well that went better than I expected." Tony grumbled as the door slam echoed through the room.