Chapter 4: Let the Mind Games begin
Keigo was just getting situated in his new office when Satsuki came in and told him that his first patient was coming in. Just like with Yagi earlier, Keigo could have sworn he heard Satsuki laughing like a maniac as she went back to her desk. But the young psychiatrist decided not to worry about it and concentrate on his first patient.
A moment later, three young individuals walked in; two boys and a girl. Or rather, one of the boys and the girl walking in while dragging the other boy in.
"Damnit Choji! I am not telling you again, calm down!" The young man with a pineapple shaped ponytail yelled as he and a girl with platinum blonde hair pulled on a young man with his hair sticking out at the sides. Keigo could see that he had a vise grip on the door frame.
"Yeah, you can't go around destroying vending machines!" The girl added in her two cents. "Even I need a Snickers bar every now and again!"
"NO! You can't!" The somewhat chubby boy bellowed. "I must destroy them all. I'm not just doing it for you two, I'm doing it for the good of all!"
"Choji! I am getting sick and tired of telling you, now for the last time, Hinata Hyuga is NOT the Devil and she did NOT place a curse on every last piece of junk food around here AND for the final time, junk food will NOT send you to Hell!" Shikamaru yelled
"Oh really, then tell me something." Choji said with a wild look in his eyes that made Shikamaru and Ino want to just bail right there and then. "Why do they call that new chocolate bar 'sinfully delicious?' Care to answer that?"
"How the hell are we supposed to know? Go talk with the brain trust in charge of that stuff." Ino replied. She then looked at Keigo. "Are you going to do something, or what?"
"Oh right. Right, of course." Keigo said as he got a notepad out. "Now, Mr. Akimichi, right?" This got a nod from Choji. Keigo smiled before gently leading Choji over to the couch. "Please have a seat."
Choji nervously laid down on the couch while Shikamaru and Ino sat down in the other chairs.
"Um, this is actually a private session, so I must ask that the both of you wait outside." Keigo said to Shikamaru and Ino.
"Trust me pal, that's the last thing you want." Shikamaru said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"We're actually under orders from the Hokage to accompany Choji around the academy." Ino said as she pulled out an official looking scroll that had the Hokage's seal on it.
"And if you're worried about that whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing, don't. We know how to keep our mouths shut." Shikamaru said. "Plus it's too much of a drag to spread the word anyway."
"Besides, if he starts flipping out again, do you really want to be alone in the room with him?" Ino asked.
"Good point." Keigo said as he thought about that. He then turned back to Choji and sat in the chair by the couch. "Now, Mister Akimichi, take a deep breath and start at the beginning."
"The beginning?" Choji asked, feeling a little confused. "Okay, from what I understand, my dad met my mom at some all-you-can-eat place one night. She was a waitress there, by the way. After a few dozen main courses, a few bottles of sake, a file for bankruptcy and a trip to the Emergency Room later, my dad had to get his stomach pumped while the restaurant owner was in the Intensive Care unit recovering from a heart attack just so you know, my mom and dad fell in love and well, nine months later…"
"Not THAT beginning, Choji!" Ino snapped.
"Y-yes, Mr. Akimichi. I was referring the beginning of this problem you have with potato chips." Keigo said.
"Oh, that." Choji blinked. "Well, it all started with this really weird dream that I had. I was here at the academy, really desperate for a bag of chips. I said that I would sell my soul for a bag of chips when all of sudden, Hinata Hyuga magically appears, tells me that she's the devil and offers to give me a bag of potato chips in exchange for my soul."
"Okay. Good, good. Please continue Mr. Akimichi." Keigo said, writing in his notepad.
"Well, I eat all the chips, except for one, thinking that I just found a loophole in a deal with the devil. But then she fights dirty by possessing my hand and tried to make me eat the last chip that would send me to my doom. But then that little mutt of Kiba's shows up and eats the chip! So then Hinata shows up again and sends me to the big fire pit downstairs…and then that was when I woke up in a cold sweat." Choji explained. "So what do you think, doc?"
"Well, let me ask you this Mr. Akimichi. Were you under any stress around the time you had that particular dream?" Keigo asked.
"Well, I did have some tests coming up and my friends had been after me to eat a little healthier." Choji admitted, feeling a little calmer now.
"See. This fear that you have of junk food is all in your head. Now I'm not saying go out and gorge yourself on sweets, but just have them in moderation." Keigo explained.
"Well, I guess. But what about Hinata? I heard one of the former therapists here claim that she was the devil. Plus, Ino and Shikamaru said they had a dream where she was the devil too. How do you explain that?" Choji asked.
"Actually, doc, he's right about that part." Shikamaru said.
"Yeah. A few other students around here said they had a similar dream too." Ino added
"Perhaps someone started a rumor. I don't see why they would. I just met her earlier and she seems like a very sweet girl." Keigo said. "As far as several people having the same dream, perhaps it's because the three of you are such close friends."
"Well, we have known each other since our sandbox days." Shikamaru said. "But everyone else?"
"Maybe there was something in the food on that day?" Keigo said.
"Thanks for putting our minds at ease." Ino muttered sarcastically.
Keigo didn't hear Ino's last remark. "All in all Choji, it's all in your head. Once you control this fear that you have, nothing can control you."
Choji sat up on the couch with a determined look on his face. "You know what? You're right! I won't let this control me. I'll overcome it like a true shinobi of the Leaf." The plump boy said confidently.
"That's the spirit!" Keigo said as he walked over to his desk and took something out of the drawer. Choji's eyes widened slightly when he saw that it was a can of Pringles.
"Oh boy, here we go." Shikamaru said as he slapped himself on the face.
"Like I said Choji. The fear is in your head." Keigo said as he placed the can down in front of the Akimichi boy.
"That's right. It's all in my head. It's all in my head." Choji said, slightly nervously.
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Unbeknownst to the inhabitants in the office, Hinata stood outside on the window ledge. If anyone were to look in her direction, they would just see a small black bird perched on the ledge. The Hyuga girl overheard the session between Choji and Keigo.
"Choji getting over his fear of junk food. Oh no no no no. We can't have that. I may not have sent him to Hell, but after wasting my time the way he did last time, his little phobia seems like an appropriate punishment. Besides, his little outbursts are one of my main sources of entertainment around here, aside from the stuff that Naruto and his girlfriends do." The Queen of Hell thought to herself. "Time to fix this little problem."
With that, Hinata waved her hand towards the office window. At the same time, Choji was looking at the Pringles can, feeling very confident…when all of a sudden, the smiling mustached face on the can of potato chips started to warp slightly
"Huh?" Choji said. The face's happy smile was replaced by a devilish smile. Choji started to sweat as he could have sworn that the Pringles face was starting to laugh evilly…right before it roared an unholy roar.
"YYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Choji screamed in terror.
"Choji! Relax!" Ino said. "What's wrong?"
"What, you didn't see it?" Choji snapped. "The Pringles Face! It's alive!"
"What?" Shikamaru said as he looked at the can. It looked normal.
"Choji! Remember what I just told you. It's all in your head!" Keigo said as he too, looked at the face on the can. It looked normal to him too.
It seemed that Choji was the only one who could see the evil version of the face, which now sprouted a pair of arms and legs.
"So you wanna eat what inside me, eh?" The face growled evilly. "How about I eat what's inside you…like your brain!" The face then peeled itself free from the can and suddenly had a rusty knife in its hand.
Choji screamed again and formed a familiar set of handsigns.
"Oh crap." Shikamaru said as he and Ino ducked behind the chairs they were sitting in. Keigo just stood there, not knowing what was going on.
"BODY EXPANSION JUTSU! HUMAN BOULDER!" Choji then took the shape of a giant beach ball and started rolling towards the Pringles can.
Keigo quickly jumped out of the way to avoid being flattened. The Pringles can, Keigo's desk and the window were not as fortunate as Choji went through them like a human wreaking ball. The pleasantly plump boy landed on the ground and reverted back to his normal form, unaware of Hinata watching from the ledge above with a victorious smile on her face.
Back in the office, Keigo was on his knees as he looked at the destruction of his office. "My office. My poor office."
"See what you did, you quack!" Ino yelled. "It's going to take us forever to get him to calm down now!"
"And just when I was thought I was finally going to get some Skittles from the vending machine without having to worry about Hurricane Choji destroying them." Shikamaru said as he and Ino took off after their friend.
Keigo just blinked and wondered just what the hell happened. It was then that the young therapist was beginning to wonder just what exactly he got himself into. "What's next?"
As if on cue, the door opened…and in walked Naruto.
"What's up doc?" The blonde pyromaniac greeted with a wide smile on his face. He noticed the large hole where the window used to be and the pile of wood that used to be the desk.
"You showed Choji some potato chips, didn't you?"
AN: If Keigo thought his day was bad before, it's about to get worse. Next up, Naruto.
Until next time and Happy New Year to everyone- dthegrimm