A/N- I don't own these characters. I am sorry for not updating sooner. Had some writers block with this story and swamped with school. I know what I want to write it just hasn't been coming to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I can't guarantee you won't be in tears by the end of it. This is a tragic story. Have a safe weekend. God bless the men and women who are or have served our county not just this weekend but every day. A song is included in some of the chapter. I don't own it. It fits the chapter well.
Bella POV
The past 2days have been hell My mom took Erica. I couldn't take care of her right now. All I wanted to do was sleep. I really haven't eaten. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't for the life of me. I kept seeing Jazz and waking up crying. Rose has been a wreck as well. She was happy to see Em but she didn't want it to be this way. She wanted a happy experience not picking him up from the airport after Jazz passed. I had been contacted. Jazz's body would be here tomorrow and his service would be the a day or so later. They were working out the details. I couldn't do it. The love of my life and father of my child was killed I could barely function. Mom wasn't handling it well. Jazz's and Em's Parents were coming soon for the service. Em's parents were just as bad as us. They had known Jazz along time. Jared was doing good through all this. He wasn't sleeping but with how we were I understood why. He was only a few weeks. Our stress level was affecting him. My mom took Jared the first day. We needed time. I was brought out of my thoughts when my mom asked if I was ready to go get Em. I immediately broke down. Rose was driving. I was in no shape to drive. I couldn't go 5 minutes without crying. It was bitter sweet to see Em. I was happy he was home safe, but I wished Jazz had made it back with him. I knew I'd never see Jazz again only in a coffin. I knew the risks of being married to military, I just never had anyone close that it happened to. Jazz had one of the most dangerous jobs being security. He was the first person to be exposed to them. We made it to the airport. Erica was with my mom who was following us, we had Jared with us. We knew we wouldn't have enough room for the kids and Em. We got there about the time he came out. He ran to Rose in tears. I couldn't imagine him watching it all. He was my brother. As much as I was hurting, he was hurting the same. I was in tears when I saw him. He was in shambles.
He came to me. Hugging me. If he held me any longer I would have soaked his shirt. It wasn't his fault that Jazz was killed, it was the ones that attacked the security check point. He needed to know that. He picked up Jared. He had so much love and hurt in his eyes as he did this. He wanted Jazz to be there. We all did. Erica kept saying daddy. I saw Em smile and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I broke down in tears. He was with us in spirit. He was letting us know he was okay. I didn't say anything. I think Jazz let him know that he was there with us. I may be crazy but it was a comfort knowing he was safe. We made our way to my house. I didn't expect them to stay. They needed their time alone. They needed time to grieve by themselves. We needed to get Jared's stuff from my house too.
Em grabbed his backpack from the back. He had tears in his eyes. I didn't like the look of this. He started sobbing when we headed in. Rose hugged him as did I. We all needed a hug. Mom came in with us.
"I have something from Jazz." He said with tears flowing. "I never wanted to have to give these to you."
He pulled out his dog tags and handed them to me along with his cover. I broke down. I leaned into Rose. She leaned on me. We both cried. She knew it could be Em that didn't come home. He pulled out 3 letters. I didn't have to know what they were I already knew. They were letters to Erica, Rose and myself. It broke all our hearts. I could see in Em's eyes he didn't want to give them to us. It was hard for him to even give them to us. He set them on the table. I was right. I picked up mine and opened it.
My love,
If you are reading this I am gone. Don't worry, I am with you always. I have loved you from the day I met you. I fell in love with you more every day. You made me happy and I love you for that. You were my guardian angel. I will be yours now.
In my last days, I saw my life was coming to an end. I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know when it happened. I had a feeling I wouldn't be coming home. Every thought I had was of you and Erica. I will still get to watch her grow, but it will be from a distance. I cherished every email and had wonderful dreams of you every night of your beautiful face. I thought of the first days Erica was born and ran through all the videos and pictures you sent me. You two were always in my thoughts. The best days of my life was the day I married you and the day Erica was born. You have so much ahead of you stay strong. Erica needs you. I love you and always will. I will watch over you and Erica. Stay safe and remember, I am already there, I am the sunshine in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground, I'm the whisper in the wind, you'll know I am always there. I wanted to say I love you one last time.
Your husband
Jazz
I read it out loud, everyone was in tears. He knew that was my favorite song. I knew he was here. I knew he always would be. That was the song that got me through the deployments. I could barely finish the last sentence. My mom came and gave me a hug. Erica came over and crawled in my lap.
"Daddy wuv oo." She said. I started to cry harder. I hugged her.
"I know." I told her "I love him too."
"Daddy no." She said smiling. She saw him. As strange as it may sound I was happy she did. It gave me comfort.
"Yes he does. His last words to me was tell Erica and Bella I love them and watch over them. I will to the day I die." He said through his tears.
"Daddy still here." Erica said smiling. I nodded
"Thank you." I told him walking over hugging him.
"I couldn't save him. We were alternating truck inspections, 2 guys jumped out the back and got him in the back. I took the two out but I was too late. I followed him as far as I could go. His Kevlar took too much damage. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Bella." He said.
"You did what you could. I know you did. You took out the men that took Jazz. You saved multiple people from being lost if they had gotten in. I don't like it that Jazz had to be taken from me and Erica but we all knew the risk. I just hoped I'd never have to know the pain of it. We all know the sacrifices that are made. He will be honored. I'm glad you made it home safe. It could have been you too." I said.
"I know. It kills me to know he's gone. I wanted a happy reunion. Him to meet Jared, and lots of hugs and kisses to the kids. Not a sad one like this." He said.
"I know, I wanted a happy one. I knew something was wrong. I just hoped it wasn't true. "I said through tears. I picked up the letter for Erica. I was about to open it. My mom knew it would be even harder to read.
"May I," she said crying. I nodded and handed it to her.
My Sweet little angel,
I love you sweetie. I will always love you. You had me wrapped around your finger the first few second you were born. You came out screaming, you were mad. You reached for me when you came out before they placed you on your mom's chest. I was crying as hard as she was. You were so beautiful and will always be. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. I will watch you grow. I may not be there physically but I will always be watching over you. I will also make sure the boys treat you right. I wish I could be there on your first date holding the shotgun when the doors opened. I'd love to see their face. I'm sure Uncle Emmett will do that for me though. He's probably sitting there laughing if this is being read out loud. I can see it. I will be by your side as you walk down the aisle. I hope Em can take my place for me on that honor. He loves you like his own. You have him wrapped around your little finger. You know it's true Brother. I love you sweetie. For the time I was on earth I loved to watch you grow and I will watch over you always.. I cherished each and every moment I had with you including the videos your mommy sent me even when I was up all night with you when you had ear infections and colic. I loved watching the videos and watched them often. Don't give mommy too much trouble growing up. I'll miss holding you that is what I missed most while I was gone. Rocking you to sleep, feeding you. You are forever in my heart. I'm your imaginary friend, I'm always there.
Love you always,
Daddy
We laughed through our tears as she read this. I knew Em would be at the front door on her first date with the shotgun. It was true Em loved Erica like his own and she had him wrapped around his finger. He'd race to her every time she'd cry when he was around. I think she thought it was a game. It was cute to watch. Jared would do the same thing. Rose picked up her letter. She was balling. She opened it up.
My sweet sister,
I know you must be going through hell right now. Em will be devastated and Bella will be in shambles and with you having Jared not too long ago it has to be hard. I saw all those pictures. He is adorable. I wish I had gotten to meet him and hold him. I will always watch over both of you. I am probably standing in the room with you. You just can't see me. I kept my promise to you to bring Em home safe and he kept his. I am home safe, looking out for all of you. Take care of Em. He needs you right now and always will. You are his rock. He loves you very much. I love you sis. Give Jared a hug and a kiss for me. I love you sis. Stay safe and never forget I am watching over keeping you safe. I will look out for Em and keep him out of as much trouble as I can. I will see you all again.
Your stubborn Brother
Jazz
She finished reading it. Em was holding her. She was balling even harder.
"Why did he have to go. Why did he have to take my brother?" She said.
"I know. I miss him too sis. He'll always be with us, we have to remember that." I said. Em nodded. It was true we would all see him again at some point. We laughed because Em did get into trouble and Jazz got him out of it a lot of the time, especially in school. They were always in trouble for something. Either they were breaking things on their trucks or in the principal's office for pranks. Em pulled out his letter. He was crying. He wanted to read his though. It was important for him. He started reading. Jared had fallen asleep in his car seat and Erica was sitting with my mom about asleep. Erica looked like she was holding someone's hand. I didn't have to second guess. He would always be with us.
Em,
If you are reading this, I am gone. I will watch over you for all your life. I had a feeling something wasn't right. I knew it was probably life threatening, or I could be killed. Don't fault yourself on my death. You did all you could, I'm sure. You have been my best friend for years and most of all my brother. We have had many fun times. Please remember those times. Don't cry over my death. You have a baby boy to go home too. You have more to live for. I will always be watching over you. I will be your guardian angel. When you are having a tough time, look in the sky, I will be watching and making sure everything is going the way it is planned. It was my time to go. Please take care of Bella and Erica. They will need you now. Give Jared a kiss, I will watch over him and Rose when you are away. They will be safe. You got me home safe; you didn't break your promise. It wasn't the home you were thinking. I am home up in the heavens. Keep my girl safe and watch over them. I have enclosed a letter to Rose and Erica also. You probably figured out that I just didn't write Bella a letter. You know me better than that.
Your Brother,
Jazz
Mom went and put Erica in her crib when he finished reading the letter. We all got up and hugged him. It was hard on all of us. I can't imagine the hurt he was going through him watching it. He did all he could, he did get Jazz home safe. Jazz knew something was wrong. He wrote his last statements and we would have them forever. They were his last words to us. This meant a lot to me. It was kind of a closure in a way.
"Bella will you be okay for a few hours so I can go home for a little while." Em asked crying.
"Yeah, I will. Mom will be here. " I said. They got Jared's car seat and headed out after giving me a hug. I went and laid down in my empty bed. I cried myself to sleep. My mom didn't bug me. She let me cry. As I fell asleep. I felt a kiss on my forehead. It made me cry harder.
"I love you Jazz," I said. I heard a faint whisper I love you too baby girl. I'll never be far.
A/N- sorry this one was a real tear jerker. It has been the hardest to write out of the 4 chapters now. Please Review if you have time. This story is very emotional to write. I am in tears the whole time writing it. So there may be a few mistakes. Have a wonderful weekend and god bless.