This takes place after "Be All Sins Remember'd". Just pretend like there haven't been two episodes since.

R and R. Enjoy.

THE LAST OF THE POPCORN

Apologies (Part 1/1)

"If you make a mistake you own up to it, and apologize. It's the only way to get things back to where they should be. There's no pretending in the real world, son."

He couldn't remember why his father had given him that little speech, but knew that his father had been right.

You can't pretend things into or out of existence. It was a violently simple truth.

He couldn't pretend that he and Teyla were anything more that what they'd always been – really close friends, who might occasionally hint at something deeper. He couldn't pretend she wasn't pregnant by another man, or that it didn't bother him.

He couldn't pretend that he hadn't been more than a little mean in the moments following her announcement; or the fact that since then he'd hardly said two words to her about the pregnancy. The only conversations they'd had about it was when he'd told her (over and over) that she was not going on any more missions.

Now here they were, six months later – Teyla was nearly three days overdue, and he'd yet to apologize for shouting at her all that those months ago. She'd taken him by surprise. The fact that she was actually pregnant was only half the reason he'd reacted the way he had. To suddenly learn that you were responsible for a life you didn't even know was there? A child's life.

A child who could have died before taking it's first breath, because John hadn't been quick enough to save it's mother. The loss of Teyla alone would be devastating. He was pretty sure that was why he'd acted so badly, and spoken so harshly. He was angry at not having been told, sure, but he'd felt hurt. Teyla was pregnant, she was seeing someone.

And it wasn't him.

He always thought he'd have time. Time to make his move. Time for the right time to present itself. A scoff escaped his lips – he'd had time, three years give or take. He'd talked, flirted, and held himself back.

He was a damn fool.

At the rate he was going, he was a fool that was going to get himself (or Rodney, or Ronon) killed off world because he'd taken to spending his nights roaming the city rather than sleeping. He was on his way to the mess hall to grab some water, and some air. He practically ran through the cafeteria, grabbed a bottle of water, and headed for the nearest balcony. When he felt the cool night air, he slowed down. He knew where he wanted to go, and he didn't feel the need to rush.

He glanced over the railing as he walked; at night Atlantis lit up. A soft golden glow all but swallowed the city, it made it hard to find a dark corner, but John had done it. He leaned back, against the city, head tilted towards the sky. Despite the light of the city, there were a hundred dozen stars littered across the sky. The only visible moons were somewhere behind Sheppard, but he knew they were probably just as bright as the city.

The last thing he'd expected was someone to come from his right.

"John." Teyla. Great. The fates had conspired against him. If he wouldn't go to her, they'd bring her to him – and he would have apologize. With a sigh, he lifted his body his body from the ground.

"Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

"I was told that walking would perhaps…" he caught her eyes for the briefest second. He really wanted to not have to have this conversation. "Movement is said to help."

John's eyes flickered across Teyla's stomach; even in the dark, the swell of her child was quite evident. His father's words echoed through his head. He needed to make things right – and before she gave birth.

"Teyla, I'm sorry." A quick hand through the hair and he caught her gaze again, and this time held it, "I've been a real ass this whole time. When you told us…I really didn't mean to come off the way I did. I was just-" Heartbroken? "-caught off guard."

"I know." It sounded even, simple, and rife with meaning. At least that's how John heard it. "Nothing is as I imagined it would be."

He read in her words every thing he'd already berated himself for. There had been something. Neither of them had made a move and now there was no going back. Things would never, ever be the same. He could only hope to try and make a place in Teyla and her child's life, and hope she would allow him that.

Without thinking he wrapped her in a hug; and with only the briefest pause she hugged back. He'd missed having her around, talking with her, being able to look her in the eye without feeling hurt or jealous.

"I'm always going to be here for you, Teyla. And your kid. You know that, right?" he held her at arms length, hands on her shoulders.

"I do."

"Good." His hands dropped to his sides and they stood there, silence settling over them.

"Movement, huh?"

"Yes."

"How's that been working out for ya?" she smiled down at her stomach, then back at

John, "Yeah." He extended a hand to her, "So, walk?"

She accepted, "Thank you." Hand in hand they started off.