A/N I do not own anything, all characters go to Stephanie Meyer and Summit. I just merely play with them Thank you for all the reviews. I do hope that you enjoy this chapter it definitely didn't go the way I thought it would. Considering I had another chapter planned and this just showed up and assaulted me till I put it to paper. So thank you again I am running to hide and I also wanted to give you a glimpse inside Jacob head. So here we go…
JBPOV:
That fuckin' bastard's insane! The thought slipped from my mind without my even thinking it, but I wouldn't deny it either. Seriously, who the hell was this Nash guy to drag his southern ass to my turf and tell me to stay away from other boys' women? He don't know me at all, does he?
He does Black, echoed the voice in my head, sweet, innocent little Bella probably opened her yap and spilled all the beans.
Yeah, that was very likely.
I was still standing by the fire when she left with him, and I kept looking even after I knew they were gone. I couldn't help it; it was burned into my memory. The thought of what those two would be doing tonight; how he'd touch her like I used to start to nag at my brain, and I clenched my fists, suddenly infuriated. Looking up at the glowing moon and biting the inside of my lip, it felt as if she had stolen my way of breathing. Just thinking, did she think of me while he was touching her, cause I sure as hell thought of her when I was with Lizzie…which is how my ass ended up in this damn situation to begin with…
"Damn it." I yelled throwing my beer bottle into the nearest rock. "Fuck this shit." I continued as I picked up my guitar and started down the beach.
"Where are you going Jake?" I heard Lizzie ask. The shuffling of sand let me know she was hot on my trail.
"Go home Lizzie!" I growled at her.
"No, what's your problem baby." She said grabbing hold of my arm, spinning me around to face her. She looked shocked; I knew my eyes were probably damn near black with fury.
"I said go home, I will call you later or something. I need to go okay." Turning, trying to break loose from her grip, she opened that damn mouth of hers and I saw red.
"It's her isn't?"
"You know damn good and well it's her, it has always been her. Doesn't take rocket science Lizzie."
I heard her suck in a breath and I knew that I hurt her; the sound of crying caused me to soften just a little.
"What about this baby Jake? I thought we were going to make this work for the baby?" she asked through muffle tones.
Baby. I hated that word. She just threw it out there like it meant nothing, just another way to keep me in her fucking grips.
"Yea, it's kind of hard to forget with you constantly reminding me, I mean what makes you think that baby is even mine?"
"Jake this baby is yours!" she shouted at me, while rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.
"You sure about that?"
"Jake, I can't believe you?" She said surprised.
I saw a dark figure making their way towards us out of my peripheral, and I took a deep breath.
"Hey! What's the hell going here Jake?" Embry asked, annoyance in his voice.
"Nothing, just take her home please." I protested, turned and stalked down the beach with my guitar in hand.
After trekking down the beach about a few hundred feet, I continued to journey until I reached the ravine that led to third beach, trying to make my way to Taylor point. This was my hideaway; I always come here when I needed an escape or just needed to think. I truly don't know what the hell is going on with me or how I could let her affect me so bad. Seeing her with him, I have to admit makes my blood boil. There is just something about that cocky asshole that rubs me raw. I don't know why or how things had gotten to this point. I sat down on a piece of drift wood and started to think, where did we go wrong? Before she left for school we were together every day, and most of the nights were spent with us sneaking about. I know it all started that night, things shifted between us, more than either of us thought. I hated that I was stuck here, and Bella had begged me to go with her. I couldn't go; my dad needed me, after my mom died I hated the thought of something happening to him and me not being here. When she left I kind of decided what the hell. I started to enjoy the party scene. That's how Liz and I met: it started with hanging out, and a little casual fucking, but when Charlie told me that Bella had started seeing Edward, I saw red. I decided two could play that game. After about an hour or two of clearing my head, I brought the guitar on my lap and positioned it where I could strum the strings to play the first chords of a song that had been on my mind since earlier tonight.
It all just sounds like oooooh… My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways It all just sounds like oooooh… Although it hurts
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But she's dancing with another man
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
Coming to a dead stop I heard the sound of crunching leaves, turning to look at the tree line behind me I saw nothing. After a few seconds the tree limbs began to sway, and the suspect revealed themselves. I felt like the world had stopped; looking at her took my breath away, I damn near thought I was on a bad acid trip until those perfect pink lips spoke.
"You still play that damn thing?" Bella asked.
Clearing my throat, catching my breath and not leaving myself to look like a complete jackass I answered. "Yea. What are you doing here?"
"I don't know. I didn't know you were here though, or I wouldn't have come." She confessed as she turned to leave.
"Don't." I said
She stopped, and turned slowly. I could tell she was debating on whether or not to leave or do as I just asked, and, perhaps curiosity won out in the end. My Bella decided to stay. As she sat down I noticed that she wrapped her arms around her waist.
"Are you cold?" I asked.
"Naw, I'm good thank you. It's still so pretty here." She stated, looking around taking in the view. "Wow, it feels like forever since I have been up here."
"Yea, it does." I confessed staring at her, it had been such a long time since I had seen Bella, I mean really seen her.
"So what brings you up here? I mean why aren't you at the beach celebrating?" she said with a bit of bitterness in her tone.
"I could ask you the same, but I needed to get away and clear my head got a lot going on."
"Yea I know right, I'm moving this weekend trying to get everything put in order and make sure dad has plenty of food. It has all really taken its toll on me. I thought maybe I could come up here and just think and breathe. I thought the fresh air would help. You know what I mean?"
"Yea, so Seattle huh? What are you going to do there? I mean you have a job right or are you an ole boy going to shack up?"
"No, and why should it matter Jake!" Bella said as she flew off the drift wood and turned to leave.
I had to stop her; I can't just let her walk away. "Bells" I said and her steps faltered. Placing my hand on her shoulders, turning her around so that we were eye to eye, "don't I'm sorry kay."
"Why should I stay here and listen to what the hell you have to say?" I could tell that she was hurt.
"Hell Bells we're friends are we not?" I know this was cutting it close and probably asking for some backlash, but I would endure it if she would just stay.
"Really, that's not how I see it." She said, shrugging her shoulder just enough for my hands to fall. I watched her return to her previous seat.
"Well, how do you see it Bells?" I asked, taking my seat right across from her where we are pretty much face to face.
"Burned," she whispered, her soft voice floating in the wind, "I got burned. I gave you everything I had, and you burned me. That's how I see it." She tried to smile with her trembling voice, "Still want to talk?"
It was like I had been hit by some unseen force, I didn't know she felt that way. What on God's green earth would make this woman, my best friend feel this way? I was truly blown away by her response. I know that we had gone our separate ways, but never did I think it was this bad.
Falling in front of her on my knees, I cupped her small face in my hands, noticing tears streaming down her face, "What are you talking about you got burned?" I asked her softly looking dead into her broken eyes.
"You, Jake, took everything from me. You have no idea what a selfish son of a bitch you are." She was crying so hard I could barely make out what she was saying, and before I knew what happen she had pushed me and I was now flat on my ass.
Jumping up, I was pissed now. Dusting my jeans off I walked over to her throwing my arms up confused, "I'm selfish, I'm selfish really and tell me why the hell is that Bella…."
"I don't want to talk about, I should go. "She said as she turned.
"Oh no, the hell you are not walking away from me." I said grabbing her arm so that she spun to face me once more. "You are going to tell me what the fuck this is about and I mean right fucking now." I was fuming; I don't know what the hell is going on or why she thought of me this way.
"You want to know what this is about Jacob; I'll fucking tell you since you insist." She was up in my face, screaming, and it was hot! I had never seen Bella like this. This was definitely not the same Bella that left here.
"I went off to school thinking that somehow, someway, you and I were going to make us work. I was gone for three months, one semester Jake, one fucking semester," Bella was now pushing me and somewhat hitting me in my chest. I knew that this was bad and she needed to get whatever it was out. "I thought that we were good, Jake, in a good place ya know. I mean, we talked all the time, sometimes more than most couples do, but something happened you slowly started pulling away when I needed you the most. It didn't take me long to put two and two together. You started fucking around with Lizzie and what was I to do Jake? Because you made it pretty fucking clear that we were not on the same page. You want to know what the worst part of all this shit Jake?"
"What?"
"I was pregnant with your child." She whispered in a wavering voice.
I fell to my knees for the second time tonight and I watched her walk away.
BPOV:
I had to get away. The air was getting too thick, just being near him was killing me. I was running through the thickness of the woods where everything was out to get me. I mean, I was tripping over everything that came in contact with my feet. "Shit, Ouch, and what the hell." Could be heard from me as I tried to make my escape. But, I could hear the crunching of leaves and the snapping of branches, and that let me know that he was right behind me. I sped up trying to get away, I don't want to face him again it, was hard enough to tell him. I know that I shouldn't have told him that way but the way things were going that was more than likely my only chance. I started to pick up my pace, I could hear him now.
"Bella, Bells please stop…."
I was at the ravine now making my last big up; I sprinted to my car just as I was going for my keys a hand caught my shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, trying to catch his breath.
Pulling myself together slowly breathing in and out, I looked into his eyes and I could tell by the soft moon light that he was different. These eyes were broken. Swallowing the vomit gathering in my throat from the pain I was reliving, I pulled myself together and faced him.
"What was there to tell you, I didn't know I was pregnant till it was too late."
"What do you mean to late?"
"Jake, I lost the baby. I had a miscarriage. I didn't know I was pregnant."
My eyes betrayed me once again; looking down at my feet to pull myself back together and wiping my eyes, I looked at Jake once more.
"I don't know Jake between school and the shit you were doing I thought that stress was the reason that I was missing my period. I didn't have morning sickness or anything. I was out jogging and the next thing I know I wake up in the hospital with the doctor telling me that he is sorry, the baby didn't make it. Jake I called you then, and what did you say? Something along the lines of 'Hey Bells sorry haven't called you' and I asked you if you were busy and your response was something like 'I'm coming babe, look Bella I got to go.' The doctor asked me if I was under stress and I told him a little and he said that the test showed no evidence of anything that would cause me to miscarry and that it was possibly stress that caused me to lose our baby. I mean, you were off living your life, and I was stuck at school. So I decided that it was best that you keep doing whatever you were doing and I threw myself into school. What does it matter? It doesn't change anything." I finished, looking Jake in the eyes. I knew that my body was trembling and on the verge of vomiting all over him, I turned and walked a little ways a ways just so I could get some fresh air.
"It changes everything." He confessed.
"How?" asked.
"I don't know it just does. Let me ask you something?" there was curiosity in his voice and I dreaded the question that was coming, but I stomached it with a usual reply.
"What?" I asked, knowing that I was going to regret it.
"Do you love him?" Wow. I didn't see that one coming, but yea I do love Nash just not the way he is referring to.
"Yea I love him. Why?" why would he want to know this? Hum, maybe Nash really does bother him the way that Lizzie bothers me.
"Then where is he?" Jake asks with a condescending tone.
"That is none of your business, but why we are on the topic do you love her?"
He stood there looking like he was debating whether to tell me or not so I spoke up first. "You know what it doesn't even matter." I replied, pointing my finger back and forth between the two of us. "Because this is over." Turning to leave, I got just a few feet from my car when I stumbled at the next words out of his mouth.
"Bella, Lizzie is pregnant. I thought with everything that just happen here I should be the one to tell you and not hear it through someone else." He confessed with humiliation in his voice as he spoke, his head was facing the ground.
Propping myself against my car, one foot on the door while the other held me firm on the ground I gave him my best smile and said,"Congratu-fucking-lation looks like she gets everything that was supposed to have been mine."
Tears were starting to make their way down my face once again, life was cruel and vicious especially times like this. But I Bella Swan was strong, and I would make it through this like everything else I had been through. Taking the keys out of my pocket and popping the lock I slowly opened the door, but me being the glutton for pain, I had to know. Clearing my throat, I asked "Jake, did you ever love me?"
Before I could turn to look at him, he was on me, slamming my back into the car, kissing my lips hard. It took me a few moments for my mind to catch up to what had just happened, and slowly giving into his hot, intoxicating kiss, I pushed him off me. Not to say I didn't enjoy it at the time, but it was wrong. Oh so wrong, but so right.
Throwing his hands in the air almost to defend his actions, "I'm sorry Bella, hell you know what? No I'm not." He said, "but I did love you. Hell I still do." He confessed and seemed almost proud of himself.
"Well you know what, it doesn't change anything. What's done is done. Goodbye Jacob."
Getting in to my car, turning the key, I left Jacob Black and my past right there in La Push on a dead end street.