Author's note - sorry the update took so long! I wasn't allowed online for a while and even then, this chapter was a little trickier than the others. Hopefully the slightly longer chapter makes up for it, I know they tend to be really short and I apologize for that, I'm bad at writing nice long chapters.

Also, warning - headcanons ahead. You'll see.

It gets a little dramatic and angsty but then so does all my writing, so what can I say?

Anyway, here you go:

You're standing on a mountaintop. No, a... a boulder, you would say. But there's nothing surrounding the edges except a dark, foreboding void. How did you get here? You can't remember. Never mind, that can all be sorted out later. You look around.

You aren't alone – in fact, all of your teammates are here with you. There is a celibratory feel in the air as a deep contrast to the worrying that had come with the game before, and you wonder what changed.

How much time has passed? Your friends look... different. Much older, anyway, no one here could possibly pass for a mere six sweeps. Some have already begun to get hints of hemopigment in their eyes.

You rack your think-pan. Why can't you remember anything? Two and a half sweeps must have passed at least, which you have no knowledge of whatsoever.

But you hear talking and your attention is redirected toward a large door. You don't know why, but it's important. The crowd turns to watch as you approach it, grasping the handle and you are just about to give a firm tug-

When a white-hot light explodes from behind you, slamming you into the hard wood and behind you voices are screaming and sweet Beforus, it hurts...

Strong arms are holding yours and you can feel soft hands papping your face. Slowly, you become aware of concerned voices muttering back and forth beside you. You open your eyes, but quickly shut them – why does Aranea's planet have to be so bright? Even with your eyes shut, that white-hot light still floods your vision.

Gradually, the two voices become distinguishable and words take on meaning once more.

You cringe at the first sentence you hear. "C'mon, cheif, it's okay, vwe're right here. Nothin' to be afraid of." He stayed, he saw everything, why did he have to be here...

"Vwowv, you sure he's alright? He's shaking." You force yourself to stop shaking. "I mean, I knowv you said it's happened before, but-"

"This time was a little mo+re... vio+lent, but he sho+uld be fine o+nce he's had a mo+ment to+ reco+ver." It takes you a moment, but the you soon see the awful meaning behind her words...

"Y9u t9ld them."

"Kan! You scared the sh- sorry. You scared the heck outta me, you knowv that?"

Porrim let out sigh. "Thank go+o+dness. Yo+u really had me wo+rried this time"

But you shake your head, insistent. "Y9u sw9re."

Maryam calmly smoothes your hair and how dare she be so calm and casual about it. "Kanny, I-"

"Y9u sw9re, P9rrim. Y9u were never supp9sed t9 see, 6ut at least y9u sw9re n9 9ne else had t9 kn9w." Wincing, you force yourself to sit up. You are not going to let weakness show – not any more than you already have, that is. Hopefully you can still retain a shred of dignity.

Because annoying as they are sometimes, these eleven trolls and humans are all you have. Like it or not, they are they only ones from whom you had ever had any chance of earning some small amount of respect. And as if it weren't enough that Cronus Ampora himself had just watched you fall on the floor, screaming and writhing in pain... as if it weren't enough that he had seen you completely lose control... your best-kept secret was revealed in the same instant.

Kankri Vantas doesn't lose control. Kankri Vantas doesn't hurt. Kankri Vantas doesn't scream, he doesn't need help, he doesn't get scared, and he doesn't cry. And he doesn't have visions that do all of that to him and more.

"There's nothin vwrong with it, Kan." Yes there its. "I mean, you're a Seer, right? It had to happen eventually, no big deal."

"See?" Porrim's forced cheery attitude made you want to puke. "No+ pun intended. I to+ld yo+u they wo+uld understand." After a short pause, she takes your hand and asks quietly, "What did yo+u see?"

Oh Beforus.

You had nearly forgotten.

And suddenly the scene replayed a thousand times in your mind and each time you felt that gut-wrenching pain, each time you were forced to listen to all of their screams...

You feel Cronus next to you and realize that you are on the verge of tears.

Kankri Vantas doesn't cry.

You hastily collect your wits as best you can, remembering you'd been asked a question but dreading the answer. If you say it, then it will be true, then it will stop being something you imagined and become reality.

But they deserved to know, didn't they?

Porrim became more insistent. "Kankri, what did yo+u-"

"9ur deaths. I think."

Silence reigns supreme as the others' eyes widen in shock. You can't blame them. After all, you had felt the same.

Strong arms wrap around you and pull you into an embrace, drying your eyes against a soft white shirt, and you must have been crying. "Cr9nus... n9t n9w, 6esides, s9me9ne's right here watching..." You try to push him away only to be pulled in tighter. "No can do, chief. And I don't giwve a flying f- sorry. I don't care vwhat anyone thinks and I doubt Maryam here cares besides. You need help right nowv, Kan." His voice softens. "That's okay, you knowv. So you're not a machine. That's okay."

"N9," You begin softly. "N9, it is n9t 9kay, n9t f9r me. Mutant-6l99ds can't 6e weak and we can't n9t 6e machines 6ecause that's what they think we are, weak and I need t9 6e str9ng and I need t9 pr9ve them wr9ng 6ecause they sh9uld 6e wr9ng, Cr9nus, they sh9uld, 6ut I am weak and if I let myself fall then I undermine everything I stand f9r." Kankri Vantas doesn't need help.

"Vwoah, vwoah, calm dowvn. I'm tellin you, it's alright, okay? You don't havwe to make yourself into some... some crazy emotionless mask to be strong." You open your mouth to protest but the words won't come out like they should and instead you dissolve completely into Cronus's arms. Because he's right, maybe you do need help and maybe that's okay. And just for the tiniest moment, safe in his embrace, you're able to forget that you're weak, and that he knows, and that it's all wrong. For just the tiniest moment, you could let the world be perfect.