Shiro POV
True to form, almost a week passed after Shiro and Lance had their talk with Keith and the boy still hadn't said anything to anyone. And really, Shiro couldn't blame him. Keith had spent his entire life avoiding the topic, afterall. But as the days passed, Shiro was beginning to get nervous. The last thing he wanted to do was go behind his brother's back, but he was beginning to think he would have to if something didn't change. Soon. At least, if Keith's now ever present symptoms had any say in the matter.
But at least things were seeming to even out once again within the group at large.
Thankfully, after that one disaster of an attempt, it got easier to form Voltron again. It was still more difficult to stay connected than they had grown used to, but at least something was working right.
Shiro would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling guilty about that.
Well, about everything, really.
Since Keith had confirmed his fears, Shiro had been feeling the same pull he always had. To GET AWAY. Which didn't help Voltron, and didn't help his friends, and didn't help Keith. It was a remnant of his childhood he had thought was conquered a long time ago. He was no longer the one who pushed to escape but who chose to stay and fight. He had made sure of it. Or so he had thought.
This was who he had person everyone knew they could rely on. This was the very thing that had kept him at The Garrison; teaching after graduation. This was one of the traits that had gotten him the Kerberos mission. This was what had allowed him to fight his way through the prison arena and stay alive until he could escape the Galra. This was what made him the black paladin of Voltron.
So why was he back to his old stumbling block? Now of all times?
These were the thoughts that swarmed Shiro's mind as he once again faced off against his favorite training exercise after lunch. He was lucky. The combat droid was relatively close to his own size and shape. It wasn't too hard to project his features onto the faceless head before him. After all, he was one of the few people in the universe who could say they have actually seen what they look like from the outside.
As he fought, he took stock of himself and came up short, once again.
One arm short.
Duck out of the way.
One year's memories short.
Feint to the right.
One capacity to be responsible short.
Side step left while turning toward the enemy's back.
And now he was going to be one brother short.
Dive in for the kill.
He didn't hear the door over the sound of clanging metal and the hum his activated arm sent thrumming through his body. But he did hear his little brother's voice when he spoke.
"Hey. Can we talk?"
The sound of Keith's boots on the hard floor, and the swish of fabric told Shiro that Keith wasn't going to bother waiting for an answer. And sure enough, in a few second's time, the two brothers were facing each other over the mangled body of the combat droid; Shiro on the floor, tangled with the metal, Keith standing, looking almost amused a couple feet away.
"Of course." Shiro consented, shaking his head to clear his thoughts as he separated himself from the wreckage.
They made their way to Shiro's quarters and, after a quick shower on Shiro's part, were both sitting on his bunk.
At first they didn't say anything. The chatter about the day which had carried them to the room had died down before Shiro's shower. If it were between two other people, it might have been an awkward silence. To be fair, it probably should have been. But when it came to them, these two who had years of awkward silences under their belts, it would take more than one lapse in conversation to make them uncomfortable.
So there they sat, each trying to decide what they were doing here, and if there was anything to say.
Well.
There was plenty to say. Years worth of unspoken fears and biases. Of memories and experiences. Of catching up in general. Since becoming paladins, there had certainly been a few opportunities for them to find quiet corners and catch up, but between the two of them, these rare occurrences had only yielded so much conversation. Until now, they had each just been growing comfortable with the constant presence of the other again.
Which had been fine.
Had been.
Finally, Keith seemed to tire of picking at the comforter on Shiro's bed. Taking a breath in, he glanced over to see that Shiro was indeed watching him before returning his eyes to the bed as he spoke.
"I'm not doing a good job of hiding it anymore." It wasn't a question, there was no uncertainty. Keith wasn't one to sugarcoat things. It had always been one of those reassuring, if not sometimes hurtful traits of his.
Shiro, on the other hand, certainly didn't mind a thin coat of sugar. Not enough to hide the truth, but he certainly believed that a spoonful of sugar really could help the medicine go down.
"It honestly hasn't been that bad. I think Lance and I are still the only two who have noticed. I'm impressed." It was true. The past week, Shiro was noticing every wince and hesitation during combat practice. He knew Lance was noticing the near constant, slight quiver of Keith's hands. Especially after battle. And all three of them had been locking eyes whenever Keith's legs, arms, or strength in general seemed to give out on him. But throughout all that, Keith was doing an impressive job of not letting his fatigue or frustration show. And, if anyone else was picking up on it, no one had said anything to Shiro.
"Well." Keith paused to give Shiro a doubtful smirk. "I hope you're right. But I will tell them tonight, anyway." His smirk disappearing as his lower lip caught between his front teeth, his hands wringing desperately at each other. Any assuredness he'd expressed before very quickly getting overshadowed by what looked to be fear.
"Really?" Shiro asked in spite of himself. Suddenly he was nervous for Keith. Even though this was exactly what needed to happen.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." The determination in Keith's eyes solidified the rest of his face into a resigned pout. His still-frantic hands the only remaining indication of nervousness.
"Coran is making us have one of those bonding nights again." Keith continued after clearing his throat, either unable to or not trying to hide his disdain for the exercise.
"Hey, those are useful. And you know it." Shiro defended. "Besides, they're starting to be fun. I think he and Allura have realized that games and the like are working better than the meditations."
Keith rolled his eyes but nodded his agreement.
"Anyway. I figure tonight, at the end when we do the telepathic progress assessment, I'll inform everyone."
Keith didn't say how exactly he would inform everyone, so Shiro was left to assume Keith would mentally bring it out to the open during the exercise. Which was a little sudden and extreme, and probably wouldn't go over well. But after thinking about it for a bit, Shiro figured this would probably be the best route. Afterall, Keith's blunt way of talking about things wasn't exactly everyone's cup of tea.
"I think that's a wise idea." Shiro agreed, finally.
Instead of responding, Keith's shoulders just slumped ever so slightly. What hair was long enough to be caught by his shoulders falling forward, slightly covering his face. The movement made him look younger; reminding Shiro of when Keith had first decided to let his hair grow out, much to the disdain of their mom.
Shiro wanted to ask what Keith was specifically scared would happen. He wanted his brother to trust him with his fears. But Shiro also understood that Keith just didn't do that. Not yet anyway. Shiro trusted Keith enough to know that when the time came and he was ready, Keith would open up. He always did...Eventually.
After a few more minutes of slightly more awkward silence, Keith left, presumably to take his turn in training while he still had time before dinner. Shiro was tempted to follow him, not wanting Keith to overexert himself. But the last thing Keith needed was to be smothered. He was going to get too much of that soon enough. Besides. He had been doing a lot better about that since their talk with Lance. Shiro figured almost collapsing in front of Lance was embarrassing enough to slightly curb Keith's need to constantly push his limits.
So instead, Shiro took a quick nap before heading to the lounge, where the others were no doubt hanging out.
"Dysmorthmm...Wait. What? No..." Lance's too loud mumblings greeted Shiro as he walked in. There was a split second where Shiro thought Lance was going back on their agreement and was telling the others about Keith's Dysmorthemia. But as his eyes caught up with his ears, he saw Lance huddled in a ball on the couch, headphones in, eyebrows drawn tight together as he poked and swiped at the tablet lying propped up against his pulled up legs.
Shiro was kind of surprised to realize what Lance was doing. It was actually almost comforting to see Lance researching. But by the bemused looks of the other two paladins in the room, he was the only one comfortable with the sight.
"Do you see what I see?" Hunk was asking Pidge, not taking his eyes off Lance's concentrating form.
"Uh-huh." Pidge responded, adjusting their glasses for a better view. "It looks like Lance is...studying?"
"That's what I thought. Do you ever remember seeing him do that at the..hey! What are you doing!?" Hunk demanded, his voice going from curious to anxious in 0.5 seconds flat.
Pidge was, in fact, climbing carefully up and around the back of the couch, so as to sneak directly behind Lance.
It was an awkward instant when Shiro realized a moment too late that Pidge was now in the perfect position to read over Lance's shoulder. But Pidge seemed to have other plans. With a wink toward Hunk; Pidge hovered their hands around Lance's headphones for only a split second before carefully clenching their fingers around the speakers and leaning in close.
"YOU COME UP HERE TO ROCK OUT?!" Pidge screamed into Lance's ear, sending the headphones bouncing onto the sofa as they did so.
What?
A string of what might have been profanities (if every other word wasn't some sort of food or dance move) erupted from Lance at such high a high pitch and volume, Shiro had to fight not to wince. Lance however, curled in on himself as if trying to use his body to protect a precious treasure.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Lance screeched, wide eyes a mixture of fear and anger.
Both Hunk and Pidge were doubled over with laughter, but Pidge managed a quiet "Payback" between gasping breaths.
Shiro quickly came to the conclusion that he didn't want to know what Pidge meant, so he just calmly walked over to Lance, moved the wayward headphones, and sat down beside the blue paladin.
By the time Hunk and Pidge had calmed themselves down enough to converse, Lance had given up glaring at them in favor of going back to his studying, though this time sans headphones.
"No but seriously, are you studying? I haven't seen you make that face since the last time I had to remind you of a test the next day." Hunk asked.
"Yeah! So what? It's been known to happen!" Lance squaked defensively.
"Since when?" Pidge countered. "What are you even looking at anyway?"
With a quick glance toward Shiro that the others clearly noticed, Lance was obviously needing help to come up with an answer when Allura and Coran came bursting in, eyes wild with concern.
"What is it? Is everybody alright?" Allura questioned the moment the doors opened.
"Why it sounded like one of you caught your first whiff of a Zaltrolop fungus!" Coran added, with equal fervor.
"Everything's fine. Lance's just a wimp." Pidge said, all hints of their previous humor suspiciously absent from their now flatlined face and voice.
"Ugh. Lance!" Allura groaned, her face flashing from fear to annoyance to amusement.
"Hey! It's not MY fault! They're the crazy ones!" Lance defended.
Coran and Shiro both chuckled at Lance's reaction as the door opened and Keith walked in.
Shiro's breath immediately caught in his throat at the sight of Keith, and from the stiffening of Lance's posture, he could tell they were on the same page.
Keith was actually smiling as he walked in, his hair damp from a shower, and arms back in their crossed position he had become such a huge fan of recently. But despite his happy demeanor, his face was paler and he looked more exhausted than could be at all healthy.
As he locked eyes with Shiro and Lance, for an instant his smile wavered ever so slightly, but he still pressed on.
"Okay, what happened? I could hear Lance's screaming from my room."
"Nothing! Nothing happened, okay!?" Lance demanded, his voice loud and turning to a whine as red flared on his cheeks in response to Keith's smirk. "Pidge and Hunk are just jerks. Never turn your back on them. They will take any opportunity to attack you while your defenses are down." He continued, eyes darting around, looking like he was unsure whether to be embarrassed or peeved.
Hunk snickered at this while Pidge mumbled under their breath "This is a fair point. A valid argument."
Keith just shook his head and sat down on Shiro's other side, making Shiro shirk away ever so slightly. To his alarm, contrary to Keith's steady voice and confident expression, his whole body was trembling as if attempting to hold up a painfully heavy weight.
Shiro's unconscious movement did not go unnoticed by either paladin beside him. Keith's expression soured as he scooted further away from Shiro and Lance leaned forward to better look around Shiro to Keith.
Shame flooded the black paladin. He hadn't meant to flinch away from his brother. He immediately leaned over to Keith, swinging his arm around Keith's shoulders, ignoring both his quaking shiver and clear discomfort at the gesture. Lance just gave a nervous chuckle.
Everyone else in the room had stopped their banter and were just looking at the three of them.
"What? Is something wrong?" Shiro asked, knowing full well that nothing about this exchange had been normal behavior.
"I was about to ask you the same question." Allura responded, but thankfully, Pidge came to the unknowing rescue.
"Eeh they're just weird. And Shiro does that. I remember when we would have him over for dinner before the mission, he always had his arm over or on Matt and dad's shoulders..." their voice trailing off as they reminisced.
And they were right. Shiro too was momentarily struck by the flood of happy memories of dinners at the Holt's during the planning stages of the mission.
The silence turned somber as no one ever seemed to know what to say when Pidge's family came up in conversation.
But then Coran jumped about ten feet in the air, whooping like his team had just won the big event.
"I found them! Allura, I found them! The castle's database DID save them this whole time!"
Allura's face went from sombre to giddy excitement faster than Shiro had thought possible.
"Oh really, Coran? That's just wonderful! Alright Paladins! We will be having dinner in here tonight! Coran and I have located the old Infogoffes!"
"Infogoffes?" Pidge asked, curiosity piqued.
"Yes! Infogoffes are moving pictures set to verbal audio stimuli that explains the Altean history, culture, and mission. There is even one about Voltron from when it was new!"
"You mean documentaries?" Pidge asked. But had to explain themselves. "Educational videos to teach people about history, science, technology, and culture. To document society, if you will." Pidge countered, clearly interested.
"Documentaries? Hm. Well, I guess you could say so. You will have to show me one of your earth documentaries sometime."
Looking at Allura, Shiro was surprised by the sight of the budding tears in her eyes. But they were happy tears. Of course this would be emotional for her. She missed Altea so much, and here she was about to watch documentaries showcasing her people and home.
"Alright, how do we watch them?" Shiro asked. He wasn't going to bring up the probable language barrier. He still didn't understand how they were even able to understand the Alteans or any of the other species they had met, for that matter. Overheard discussions between Allura and Hunk suggested the theory of their quintessence as paladins having to do with it but now wasn't the time to re-open that can of worms.
"We will project them into this room! Like this!" Coran answered, and with a flick of his finger across his tablet, the white walls and floor of the room around them disappeared and they were suddenly at the center of a panoramic video.
Everyone gasped. They were looking up at the Castle of Lions, gleaming orange in the light of a setting sun, at the top of a city on a hill. The city was also a pearly white, reflecting the orange glow of the sunset, full of spires and arches, with pods flying here and there. At the top of the five highest spires were triangular flags waving lazily in the wind, one blue, one yellow, one red, one green, and one black. The still blue sky was decorated with perfectly smooth, fast moving clouds. Instead of the puffy or wispy clouds on earth, these clouds actually looked like they were made of liquid; flowing into each other in streams directed by the wind.
As Shiro looked around, mouth agape, his gaze followed the main road down the hill until it looked like it should pass directly under them, as if they were standing directly on it. But the entire couch area was pitch black. Even looking down his own body, Shiro could only see down to just below his shoulders before his body was engulfed by black. Well, that was one way to be immersive.
It was when he looked down and his mind was brought back to reality that Shiro first noticed Keith's quivering had amped up since he had sat down. Instead of feeling like shivers, the tremors in Keith's body felt more like quakes. Looking over at Keith, Shiro saw his brother already watching him nervously. Shiro was about to ask if Keith needed help, but Keith just shook his head, his eyes warning Shiro not to draw attention to it. So Shiro just nodded, pulling his arm tighter around his brother in the hopes of supporting him, and continued to look around.
Behind them all, the hill turned into a gentle slope filled with green grass and miniature trees that looked fully grown; even though they couldn't have reached past Shiro's hip at best. The landscape around them was dotted by pink and purple flowers. With mountains rising to snowy peaks to Shiro's left and the rolling hills falling gradually to a crystal blue ocean, a strip of black sand bordering it, on his right. It really was quite a breathtaking sight to behold. If it didn't look so real, Shiro would have never thought such a place could exist.
Allura was talking 100 miles an hour to Pidge pointing at every building in sight. Coran on the other hand was looking rather perplexed.
"Hm. It seems the sound isn't working properly. There should be music at this point. Ah well, these are ancient, afterall. Let me see what I can do." And with that, Coran brought up a screen in front of him and started typing away.
"Well, if it's going to be a bit, I'm gonna go whip up some grub." Hunk announced, carefully toeing his way out of the circular couch, apparently finding it difficult to walk without being able to see past his stomach.
Looking around, everyone was in awe of the beauty of the landscape before them. Lance was just staring at the beach, watching the sparkling waves against the black sand. Coran kept getting distracted from his screen to smile at the little dragon/bird creatures soaring through the sky. Allura and Pidge had fallen silent as they took in the city's-
Keith's body convulsed as a throaty grunt escaped his lips. Shiro's head jerked to his left to see Keith's eyes squeezed shut, head tilted harshly to the right, his mouth open in a cringe.
And it didn't stop, Keith's body spasmed, almost out of Shiro's grasp. Every muscle in his body clenching against its neighboring muscles without rhythm or pattern.
With each spasm, Keith whimpered, obviously in serious pain, any control over his body non existent.
Shiro could practically hear the horror and panic rise in his body as he forgot every other thing in the room and launched himself into action.
Shiro heard his own voice call out for the lights as he maneuvered himself around Keith's body and brought the both of them to the floor in the center of the couch.
By the time the lights were back on, Shiro was kneeling on the floor with Keith's head in his lap as his brother's body appeared to tear itself apart. Faster and faster the convulsions came until they blended into each other and Keith was a quivering mass of clenched muscles and twisted, curled limbs.
"Shh. Shhh. It's okay Keith. Just hold on, buddy." Shiro murmured, his left hand stroking his little brother's forehead of it's own accord. Vaguely, Keith heard the sound of Lance making a choking noise.
It was then that Shiro's mind caught up with the situation upon being reminded of the other people in the room. Snapping his head up, he took stock of those around him.
The first face he saw was Lance's. His face was frozen in horror. The only movement in his entire body was his unhealthily fast, panicked breathing and the tears beginning to spill onto his cheeks.
Coran who had been the one to turn the lights back on, was watching on with an equally balanced mixture of concern and curiosity.
Pidge's face almost mirrored Lance's, replacing the tears with just straight up shock. They had backed up against the wall, as if trying to avoid the scene their eyes were glued to.
Allura was walking closer, looking completely confused as if watching an impossibility unfold.
Hunk was just walking in behind Shiro, so he couldn't see him, but he could hear as Hunk set down the platters of food he was carrying, and he started to talk.
"Alright guys so you won't believe this but I was able to make NACHOOOO- Oh shit! KEITH! Okay. Everyone breathe it's okay. He's just having a seizure, he will come out of it soon. Pidge don't freak out, he isn't a malfunctioning robot, he'll be fine, I promise. Allura and Coran, please stay back, he might kick you if you get to close. Just give him some breathing space. Lance breathe. It's going to be okay."
At this point, everyone had turned to stare blankly at Hunk, aside from Shiro, whose eyes went back down to Keith's quaking, convulsing, whimpering form. Then Shiro felt a hand on his back as Hunk spoke, his voice gentle and calming.
"Shiro and Keith you are both doing wonderfully. You can do this. Just stay calm. You know what I bet you could use right now, Keith? I bet you could really use a cool washcloth. He is probably overheating from the exertion and sweating to boot. I'm going to go find him a cool washcloth. Anyone know where I can find a clean washcloth?"
Coran, with a triumphant exclamation came running over, brandishing a handkerchief at Hunk, somehow tickling Shiro's ear in the process.
"Thanks, man." Hunk spoke quickly as he stood up and walked over to one of the cups of water he'd brought with the food, dunking the cloth in and grabbing one of the ice cubes.
After wringing it out, he wrapped the ice cube in the handkerchief and came back over, not reacting when Keith's hand accidentally smacked against his leg.
"Here Shiro." Hunk spoke with a reassuring smile to Shiro who silently took the cloth and placed it against Keith's forehead, after wiping away the sweat drenched hair sticking to it.
The effect wasn't immediate but slowly the convulsions started to slow down and Keith was able to gain enough control to breathe without any grunts or whimpers. Hunk had since gone to sit beside Lance and was currently rubbing his back.
"Is..Is he okay? What happened?" Pidge asked as Keith's breath returned to a cadence somewhat normal and the tremors slowed and softened to a much less alarming quake.
"He'll be just fine…" Hunk spoke up immediately, and continued on some sort of comforting explanation Shiro didn't listen to.
Instead, he leaned over to whisper into Keith's ear. Keith, whose body was still declaring mutiny had yet to so much as attempt to open his eyes, let alone speak, but Shiro figured he should ask anyway.
"Do you want me to tell them?" He whispered in his little brother's ear.
After a pause, Keith nodded.
Okay, then.
"Thank you Hunk. But that's not exactly true." Shiro paused, his glance toward Hunk turned into a long look at Lance, who looked like he was about to break, but nodded to Shiro and gave him a thumbs up gesture in lieu of the smile he attempted and failed to provide.
"Keith has a condition called Dysmorthemia. It's-"
"WHAT!?" Pidge's scream cut Shiro off.
"You're lying. Keith doesn't have any of the sort. He wouldn't be stupid enough to become a paladin knowing that. That would, what, HALVE his life expectancy! NO! I REFUSE!" The shear outrage on Pidge's face was too much and Shiro had to look down as they stormed past and left the room.
Keith's eyes were open. And watching him.
"What is Dysmorthemia?" Coran asked as Hunk and Allura ran after Pidge; once the rest of the room had recovered from their shock.
Shiro heard him but before he could pull together an answer, Lance, freshly researched on the condition, launched into an overly detailed, scientific explanation.
"I'm sorry." Were the first, breathless, scratchy words out of Keith's mouth.
"Don't be. It's not your fault. And Pidge will come around. No one else is mad. You did well, kiddo."
Keith was not too tired to glare at Shiro for the use of the childhood nickname.
But before anyone could go any further, Pidge burst into the room, dragging a slightly wary looking Hunk and a determined looking Allura behind them. The three of them came over to where Shiro and Keith were still on the floor, and as Hunk bent down as if to talk to Shiro, Allura mirrored him for Keith.
"We're putting you in a cryo pod." Pidge announced, instead. Leaving no room for questions and no time for counters before Allura scooped the weakly protesting Keith up.
"Wait! Allura!" Shiro jumped to his feet but she was already out the door and Hunk had a hand on Shiro's shoulder.
"Hey man, it can't hurt. Besides, it will make everyone feel better. And who knows, it may help. Alien technology is weird like that." Hunk's voice was confident and reassuring, but his eyes were pleading with Shiro to accept this answer.
Shiro nodded, it actually wasn't a half bad idea. If nothing else, it would give Keith a chance to recuperate from the episode.
He looked over to Lance and Coran.
"So that was what you earthlings call a 'sea shore'?" Coran was asking.
"NO! It's not a seizure. It just looks like one. It's his body reacting to itself, not his brain misfiring!"
Shiro shook his head and sighed. Lance was being overly dramatic about Coran's lack of understanding, but Shiro guessed he understood where he was coming from. It was probably easier for him to freak out at Coran than to allow himself to actually freak out about Keith.
Shiro was personally just glad his own emotions were still mostly in check, his sudden exhaustion making it difficult to keep his expression controlled as he left the room to follow after Keith and Allura.
At least no one had noticed his tears.