Spencer started kissing down her taunt stomach. "Hey, wait. No, stop!" But Spencer wasn't about to stop. "Spencer, get off!"
It was only when she heard her name that she got off, she recieved a light shove in her ribcage. "Ow!"
Ashley sat up straight in the bed, Spencer put her hand on Ashley's shoulder, only to have it removed. "Are you okay?" Ashley shook her head 'no' and got on her feet.
She went to check on the baby, stroked her hair and inhaled her scent. "I'm gonna go downstairs for a while."
Spencer fumbled around looking for something to put on. "I'll come with." Ashley put her hand up in protest. "No. It's fine, stay here, I'll be right back." Confused and distraught, Spencer sat back down.
"Ash, what's wrong? Tell me and maybe I can help you? Maybe we can help each other?" Ashley didn't need help, not if you'd ask her, at least she wasn't open for help, not just yet anyway. "It's not that easy Spencer. I can't be like: 'Hey Spence, guess what?' Because I'm not the same person I used to be. I'm not, not after the baby."
'Not the same person.' What did that even mean? Spencer couldn't even pretend she knew where she was coming from "But you are. You're Ashley Davis. You haven't changed just because you're a parent. We're both parents, it doesn't mean we're any different. We're still unbeatable and so much stronger together."
The words were all right, hitting her heart like a homerun in the bottom of ninth inning. The timing was all wrong. "Stop making it about love, it's no always about that. I'm a little unwell, fine, I get it. We don't need to talk about it."
This was about more than just love, this was about the aftermath of childbirth. Ashley obviously wasn't coping with it very well. "How can you say that? Ash, please don't shut me out here. You need help."
But Ashley wasn't hearing it, not a single word. "No. What I need is for you to leave us alone!"
What Spencer had feared the most was slowly unfolding before her very own eyes. "Us?" This was not happening, it could't. "Me an my baby."
This was not supposed to happen. "Ashley, she's our baby." Postpartrum Depression was one thing, but this was just beyond it."She's not your baby." The anger in her eyes were burning, her body language and posture spoke with such strong hatred. "I carried her for nine months. Thirty six weeks. I had to deal with the side effects, I had to live with my body changing. I gave birth to her, therefore she is mine!" Maybe this wasn't exactly how they had planned it to be.
"I understand what you're going through and it's okay for you to feel like this, but you need to know that there is help, you can get help." But they no longer have any control over it.
"I'm sorry Spencer, fuck." The phone rings and Ashley screens it. "It's your mom." If they didn't learn how to surrender, they would lose everything they held dear.
"I can't right now. Let it ring." Ashley placed the phone in Spencer's hand. "You should get it. I'll go take a nap. Just, come in when you're done." She sighed deeply and watched Ahsley crawl back into bed. She shut her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. She seemed fine, but Spencer knew she was anything but fine.
"Hi mom. Yeah, no, she's sleeping. Mhm, Ash too. Sure, I'll tell her. Okay mom. Yes, alright. I've gotta go. I'll call you later. No it's not because... I'm hanging up now. Bye mom." Spencer goes back into the bedroom. "You sleeping?" And she was. With the lightest of touches her hand brushed against her cheek and gently stroked her hair.
"No matter what happens, it's us against the world."
Once the love fades, it turns into a battlefield and the only way to save it, is if you try to find the place again, find the place where the heart is.
"Spence?" Her raspy voice echoed in the dark. "Hm?" Ashley was trying hard to reaffirm her existence, she wanted to know that was she was still alive. "Can you get me a vicodin?"
There was no strenght left in her body, Ashley felt so melancholy. "You're not supposed to be taking any more." The loss of interest in normal day stuff had flown out the window, along with her joy of living. "I need them, you know they help. They hit the stomach and ahh. I wouldn't need the shit if... I just need them to be able to sleep, okay? To be able to function throughout the day."
As hard as it was for Ashley to spit out all of this, it was even harder for Spencer to take it all in.