Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Sorry it's kind of short I've just so busy and haven't been able to finish it. I figured I'd polish up what I could and make it a shorter version of the chapter I wanted. It's not really my best work either. I hope you enjoy it a little at least.

Chapter 4

Dawn trod groggily down the stairs in search of breakfast. She thought about waking Buffy up as she passed her on the couch, but she wasn't screaming and she could probably use the sleep so Dawn just left her there.

"Morning Sam," she greeted the Winchester as she entered the kitchen where he was making coffee. She went to the fridge to retrieve milk for her lucky charms. Wait Sam?! She whirled around to see him leaning on the counter with a large goofy smile on his face. Dawn smiled back. Her Sam was here. Looking at him she felt loads better. She loved that he could always do that to her.

"Um do I get a hug?" He asked stepping toward her. She just laughed and threw her arms wide. He stepped into them and lifted her off her feet. When he put her down he planted a big kiss on her forehead.

"I'm glad you're here Sam. You're her oldest friend. She's…" Dawn just didn't know how to continue.

"I know. Um listen I wanted to apologize for Ruby." Sam cleared his throat. He'd thought about calling Dawn after her visit, but he wanted to create some distance between them. He couldn't have her anywhere near the danger he was putting himself in, he owed that much to Buffy.

"Oh uh it's cool." It most certainly was not cool, but it's not like it had been Sam's fault.

"No it's really not. She was really rude and I don't understand why."

"Some girls just get jealous over silly things, I guess." Dawn looked away. Like Ruby would have any reason to be jealous of Dawn. Sam saw Dawn as a little sister.

"I guess I had been talking about you a lot. You want some coffee?" He'd been talking about her? Dawn got a little light headed before she could compose herself.

"Nah I'm going to stick with O.J. this morning. I can make my special breakfast burrito if you want?"

"Haha! I don't think so. The last time I let you cook something, I ended up with a stomach ache and you got a second degree burn."

"Well you didn't have to eat it." Dawn grumbled, but Sam had taken her left wrist in his hand and was now examining the scar the burn had left. Again she couldn't think straight. For his own part Sam noticed that it felt nice to be touching her. Dawn had grown up quite a bit in the last year. He dropped her wrist and moved toward the pantry.

"I'll just make pancakes. Everyone enjoys pancakes."

"Mmmm sounds good." Dawn replied thoughts of lucky charms forgotten, "I can make scrambled eggs." Those were always a safe option.

"If you promise not to put chocolate in them."

"That was one time! And they didn't taste too bad." Sam gave her a look of skepticism, "Okay they were terrible, but you never know till you try." Sam laughed. She was so awesome. Maybe if they got through the Dean being in hell and Buffy being in heaven, And she graduates high school Sam could almost hear Dean's voice in his mind, maybe if they got through all that he'd ask her out. Also if he survived the beating that Buffy would give him for even thinking about it.

Just then Willow and Tara entered the kitchen and Sam was snapped out of those thoughts. Willow had read minds before. He greeted and hugged them both. They all ate in semi-silence, with slight small talk inserted in between long pauses. First thing in the morning wasn't always the best time for deep meaningful, haven't-seen-you-since-our friend-died type conversations. Buffy woke up, got dressed and left without really speaking to anyone, which had Sam concerned. She was more off than he had initially thought.

Dawn was actually relieved when everyone left the kitchen and stuck her with the clean up. She really didn't mind as long as there wasn't so much tension packed into one room. She would have a little time to work through some of her anxious thoughts.

Sam went for a run, Tara was showering, and Willow was trying to convince herself that a week without magic would be breeze. Her shaking hands told her otherwise.

Once Dawn had the kitchen spotless she retreated to her room to get ready for the day. When she, Tara, and Sam were ready to go Willow was just getting out of the shower. She told them to go ahead and she'd catch up.

When they were gone Willow found her little bag of flowers. Using magic to get herself ready didn't hurt anybody. Tara was being silly. Buffy and Sam didn't deserve to live with the pain they were going through. They'd both given their own lives to the fight for this world and they had suffered enough.

"But you'll come back right? When you find the answer you'll come back." Buffy inquired anxiously. Having Dean back would be amazing, sure, but she didn't want to lose another member of her little family. She wanted to keep all of the people that she loved in one area. That made it easier to protect them. The problem was it wasn't her choice to make.

"If I find a solution I will come back to help see it through, but I'm not sure if I'll be staying long after that."

"Why can't you just send them an e-mail or something? Can't the damn council pick up a phone?" she grumbled at him.

"Buffy it doesn't work that way and you know it. Sam has agreed to stay here in my absence, but he's not a crutch Buffy. He's simply here to ah…"

"Keep the gang from doing more stupid things?"

"Well um yes." He let out a short sigh, "Buffy there are big things coming. We all need to go where we're needed. You need to stay here and make a stand, and I need to go to England. You have to understand the depth of the situation. Once Dean is returned, if he returns, he might not be able to stay here. He may, very well, be needed elsewhere."

"Whatever Giles. Can we just be done talking about it now?" Before Giles could respond she was off the bench and moving to the training dummy to work out some frustration. Giles wanted to continue but thought better of it when he saw the round house kick she administered. He decided to go out and work on shop inventory while they waited for everyone else to arrive.

Once he was gone Buffy punched the dummy once more before letting her mind drift off to where it was happiest.

Dean stepped out from behind the dummy. "What is your problem today? It's like you're not even trying."

"Whatever! I could've broken your rib through that thing!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Well yea, but I'm not talking about your strength. It's your technique. It's way sloppy, like you want someone to kick your ass." Dean had been trying to ignore the fact that Buffy's form was way off, but the last punch made it look like DAWN could've taken her down with a simple side step and leg sweep. They were already half an hour into the work-out. She really should have been warmed up by now. "Why the hell are you holding your arm like that anyway?" he asked finally stepping forward to look at the arm that she'd been keeping cradled up against her body. Buffy stepped back and looked away. She didn't need Dean to be all concerned. She'd be fine.

He wasn't having any of her strong and silent bull crap. He raised one eyebrow stepped forward and took her arm without giving her an option. She winced as he examined it. "Have you even put ice on this?" Dean was wondering what was wrong with Buffy. Whatever it was it had to be big, she didn't let stupid things get to her this way. Her arm didn't look that bad, just a little swollen. Like ice and maybe some Advil would be all it needed. Buffy shook her head. After Sunday had beaten her down Buffy felt weak. She hadn't even really thought about repairing the damage.

"Alright that's it, what's up? If we had been sparring I would have wiped the floor with you, and now you're just neglecting wounds?" Dean had released the arm and reached up to cradle her face with his hand. His eyes searched hers for some sort of answer. What was wrong with his girl?

"Would you please quit looking at me that way?" Buffy jerked her face out of his reach and Dean let his hand fall to his side. "I'm fine, okay? I just… I'm fine." She finished, shooting him and annoyed expression. When she saw Giles he had indicated that she needed to learn to start doing things on her own and that's what she intended to do. She was the slayer after all. She had to grow up. Why did Dean always have to baby her?

Dean had dealt with rejection before and it hadn't really mattered. They were just girls. But this was Buffy, and his pride told him to walk out of the house without looking back. Since when did they not tell each other everything? Being there for one another was what made this life bearable. "No. Not okay. I'm a little pissed right now. Why are you shutting me out?" he sighed. Confused and not sure what to do about the girl standing in front of him he decided to just get the ice for her. "I'll be right back."

Dean turned and went up her basement steps. He hated that it bothered him when she pulled away. Once in the kitchen he leaned on the counter. Why on earth was this girl getting to him this way? It wasn't like he couldn't just find another at the bronze later. He took a deep breath and the answer hit him. "No." Dean groaned, "Nooooo." He couldn't be in love with Buffy. What was the point of being in love with a girl? It's not like he could stick around for any long period of time. Especially not one long enough to get married or start a family.

Then there was the fact that it was Buffy. She's the slayer, she has her own duties. Damn it! She kept flashing through his mind. Her smile, her hair, her fingers. The way she fought. It was all so fantastic. He groaned again. It doesn't matter. Not like she could ever fall in love with a guy like me anyway. She's too classy. I'm freaking lucky she puts up with me at all. He went about putting an ice pack together, and tried not to think about how she had jerked away. Right now he just needed to take care of her and set his pride down.

When he came back she was standing at the bottom of the steps looking like she might cry. He took a step toward her and reached out for the arm. She didn't resist when he took it. "I'm out of my league now." She said quietly. Dean just held the ice pack in place and let her take her time. "I handled everything in high school, but I'm in the real world now and it's too much." Dean ducked down so that he could her face. When he saw she was serious he just couldn't hold back his laughter. Buffy pulled her arm away and pouted.

Dean just put his hands on his knees and kept on laughing. "Okay why are you laughing?! You got mad because I wouldn't tell you and now you're laughing!?" Dean immediately stopped and straightened himself up. Buffy opened her mouth to say something else but his lips were on hers before she could get a word out. When he broke the kiss he kept his face close to hers. She tried to pull away but he held her fast. "Dean please. Okay? I don't need your pity." Dean let out a short laugh.

"Buffy I do not pity you in any way, shape, or form. Got it? I'm sorry I laughed, but come on, really? You're in the real world now? Buff you have been handling the real world since you became the slayer. You died! You destroyed the mayor, killed Angel, and fought on the hell mouth for the last three years. Most people won't see one fiftieth of the real world that you have. You're Buffy freaken Summers and you are the strongest girl I know. Plus you have a fantastic ass." He finished with his trademark grin.

Buffy had the beginnings of a smile on her lips, "My middle name is Anne, thank you." He laughed. That's my girl. He thought as he planted one last kiss on her. If she never loved him back then at least he'd have these small moments to hold onto for the rest of his life. He was pretty sure they could keep him going through anything. Though at that time he didn't know he'd have to go to hell someday.

"Now what did this to your arm?" Buffy looked at her feet.

"A vampire." His reaction was exactly what she expected.

"You let a vampire beat you down?!"

"Well not LET but… yea."

"You at least killed it right?"

"Ummmm…" Dean snorted.

"Never mind. Let's just go take care of it." And they did. Afterwards they met up with Sam, Willow, Xander, and Oz at the bronze and had a small celebration. Giles even showed up. It was a great night. The night Buffy realized that whatever came at her she would face and defeat it. And that she would do so with the support of her amazing friends. It was also the night she realized she was truly in love with Dean. It's a good thing Dean Winchester doesn't fall in love. She thought. A relationship would never fit into our crappy destinies.

They laughed and danced. Even Sam, who had been a gloomy puppy lately, had a good time. Dean had held her close every chance he got and she breathed in his scent and let herself enjoy being near him. She would just try to enjoy the times when he was near and forget about the times when he wasn't.

"Buffy? Buff… everyone's out here." Xander was in the doorway to the training room looking at Buffy with worried eyes. He'd said her name 3 times and she'd just stood there.

"Oh. Right." She mentally shook herself out of her memories. She followed him out the door to see the gang assembled and ready to start the meeting. Sam looked at her questioningly but she avoided his eyes. At that moment looking at Sam caused her too much pain. She could have saved him. Why couldn't they have told her?

Giles opened his mouth to begin when Spike burst through door smoking. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Holey moley." Anya said taking in the ugly brown suit and toboggan.

"You need to give me asylum." Spike gasped as he cooled down.

"I'll say." Xander retorted after giving his outfit a once over.

"No need to get cute. It's a disguise. Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now. You met him I believe," he addressed Buffy who rolled her eyes. She'd blocked that part of last night from her memory, "Toothy bloke with the baby seal breath. And what do we have here?" Spike interrupted himself as he noticed Sam standing next to Dawn, "Sammy boy is back in town!" Dawn felt Sam tense like he was ready to pounce and she placed a hand on his arm asking him to let it go. It wouldn't do any good to start a fight in the shop. He looked at her and let out a breath, before taking her hand and squeezing. After that he let their hands drop but didn't let go. If they kept touching he would be able to remain cool. Spike smirked at having gotten a small rise out of Sam.

Giles cut in before Spike could say anything else, "I'll jump to the chase. I'm going back to England tomorrow. I need to find out what I can about Dean and if there's a way to retrieve him."

"But now? You can't just go now. Not after- everything." Xander tried to argue the decision. Giles couldn't just leave them all here. Anya asked about the shop and Sam was just about to interject when Buffy suddenly got up and started walking toward the door without looking at anyone. She just couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't do this. I just- I need to-"

"Buffy! Listen." Willow stopped her from leaving, attempting to keep her until the spell took effect, "I know this must be awful for you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what we-"

"Sorry. Everybody's sorry! Dean is dead. Worse! He's in hell, and all I can think about is how I got pulled out of heaven. I know you guys are just trying to help but it's just- it's too much. And I can't take it anymore. I miss Dean and it feels like I'm dying! If you guys understood-"And with that everyone collapsed.