Hi!

I'm going to try to do regular short chapters for this story or else you'll be waiting weeks for an update!

I'm a little disappointed that I only had 1 review for the last chapter but I shall be persistent with this story.

Anyway, I shall let you get on with this chapter :)

Chapter Four

Heaven

Why was death so painful?

I thought I'd quietly slip away but it's not going to plan.

The fire in my stomach is blazing and my head is beginning to pound as I try to strain myself to tune into the various noises around me. At the moment all I could hear was a faint buzz in my ears.

I felt myself slip in and out of consciousness. My mind was fuzzy, I felt as if I was drowning.

The next thing I knew there was a pressure around my hand, someone was holding it.

Who would be holding my hand? Maybe I'd made it to heaven, I was being greeted by past relatives.

"Bella?" A voice. Who is that? They sound familiar.

Alice?

The sound of Alice's voice gave me the strength I had been searching for, I yanked open my eyes and gasped as the light blinded me. A searing pain shot through my stomach as I gasped, I felt awful.

"Bella!" The voice shouted this time, I flinched at the loud noise and tried to take in my surroundings.

The white walls, the plastic flooring and the strong smell of detergent. I was in hospital. I blinked a few times as I tried to focus on the person next to me. I had been right, it was Alice. She looked no different, her hair was still cut in it's short pixie like style, her eyes still had that glint of excitement in them but her face was drained of all colour and she appeared to be thinner.

"Alice?" I croaked out, trying to make my limbs co-operate with my brain.

"Oh Bella, why didn't you call me before things got this bad? I'm a terrible friend. Terrible…" I had to cut her off before she went off on one of her long rants.

"Alice, why am I here?"

"Oh Bella, don't you remember?"

"I remember everything. Why am I here?"

"I found you Bella. I had a bad feeling about you, I knew I had to come and see you and make sure you were okay."

Alice's psychic power strikes again.

"Oh. I'm sorry Alice." I whispered as tears sprang into my eyes. I could see the fright in Alice's eyes, I hated the thought of her finding me. She must have been so scared seeing me there surrounded by various drugs and bottles of alcohol. Me unconscious, slumped on the floor.

"No Bella, I'm sorry. As soon as you get better and you can get out of here you're coming to stay with me."

I didn't argue with Alice, I knew better than to argue with her when she makes up her mind on a particular matter.

A week later I was released from hospital under the strict instructions that I had to visit a psychiatrist twice a week to discuss my 'issues'. What a load of bullshit. Alice insisted I go back with her and stay at hers until I get my life back on track so I'm now sitting in her Porsche whilst she drives me to her apartment in Seattle. I was actually looking forward to spending time with Alice and getting to know her again, I had missed her. My parents hadn't got in contact with me, Alice had told them what had happened but they were standing their ground, they had disowned me. I felt numb towards my parents now, I no longer felt any anger towards them. They meant nothing to me now. Seeing Alice again and talking to her whilst I was in hospital made me realise I was thankful that I hadn't been successful in killing myself. I hadn't wanted to in the first place but I thought it was my only option. Now I had Alice, she was my new option.

Once I arrived at Alice's apartment she pushed me into the guest bedroom which she had turned into my own room. The room was painted white with white wood flooring, in the middle of the room was a large double bed covered in a pink duvet and an abundance of sequined cushions. It was all very Alice.

"Do you like it?" Alice asked, beaming at me. I smiled back at her, finally feeling happy. It was impossible to feel down around Alice, her happiness was infectious.

"It's perfect Alice, thank you."

"Look why don't you take a shower and get changed, I've bought you a whole new wardrobe. I'll cook us some dinner and then we can eat whilst talking."

I nodded to Alice and she left me in the room on my own.

I stood under the scalding hot water in the shower, it felt good as it burnt my skin. Although I'd spent a lot of time with Alice we hadn't yet talked about what had been happening in my life for the past year and I knew tonight she'd want to know everything. I took a deep breath and shut off the water, I'd been hiding in there for long enough.

Once emerging from the bathroom I set upon the humungous task of finding some clothes, Alice hadn't been lying when she said she'd bought me a whole new wardrobe. I eventually settled on some purple flannel pajama bottoms with a matching camisole. I took a deep breath and made my way to the kitchen where Alice had set her small table for dinner. I loved Alice's house, it was decorated with a mixture of shabby chic and rustic, it suited Alice.

"It smells great." I commented, taking a seat at the dining table.

"It's your favorite, mushroom ravioli." Alice sat down at the table with me and placed a plate of dinner in front of both of us.

"Thank you for this Ali."

"I've been an awful friend towards you Bella. Do you want a drink?"

"You haven't been Alice! I just made a mess of my life. No thank you Alice, I can't drink alcohol on my anti-depressants and I don't think I'll be drinking it ever again anyway."

"I understand. Bella, start from the beginning and tell me what happened?"

I looked down at my uneaten plate of food and took a deep breath, I was doing that a lot lately, it was time to tell Alice my story.

"I'll start from the beginning." I said, fighting against the wall that was trying to construct itself to stop me from reaching my memories.

I told Alice about how I met Edward Cullen, about how charming he had appeared when I first met him. Cullen had wooed me and I had fallen for it like an idiot. I told Alice about the night I had spent with Edward, the worst night of my life. I told her about how stupid I had been when I had agreed to do the cocaine with Edward, I had been an idiot but for one night only I wanted to lose my inhabitations and live. I didn't remember much else from that night after I had taken the drugs, I told Alice all that I did remember. The sex that myself and Edward had had, although it had been amazing at the time it was stupid. I was stupid.

I then told Alice about how my parents had found out, I described to her the disappointment that was evident in their eyes. I had let them down, I had ruined their reputation. I was no longer the innocent little girl that they had known, I was the drug taking whore who dropped her knickers for anyone.

"Bella, you are not!" Alice interrupted me, trying to make me feel better about myself.

"Alice don't, let me finish."

I told Alice about how I had rented the bedsit, how I had drunk myself into oblivion most nights, how I occasionally dabbled in drugs when the alcohol wasn't enough to numb the pain.

My heart felt like it was breaking all over again as I saw the disappointment in Alice's eyes.

"I'm sorry Ali. I'm so sorry." I whispered as tears streamed down my face.

"Bella, it's not your fault. You lost your way but I'm here now, we're going to get your life back on track."

"I love you Alice." I smiled at her through my tears, finally there was somebody there for me, somebody who cared about me.

Thank you for reading!

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