Author's Note: I'm new and ignorant to writing fanfic, but are authors supposed to plan out the story in advance and have a dozen chpters prepared so they can update regularly? Cause I just go on the fly and in fact I'm not even sure if what I'm writing can be considered a story. Blah whatever review, follow, hav a laugh, etc.
P.S. Tullius is going to briefly go into super rage beast mode so beware of strong language
Dear Elewen,
Yes of course I will be delighted to attend your baby shower! Shall I bring a couple of Lizard strippers to the party like last time? Or perhaps several bottles of skooma?
Regards, General Tullius
Dear Dragonborn,
This is what I have feared Dragonborn; Ulfric has poisoned your mind! Yes, we were going to execute you for no reason! But is that the only argument you have!?
Hugges and kisses plz join the Legion, General Tullius
Dear Dragonborn,
What do you mean it's the only argument you need!? You know what, fuck you and fuck the stupid Nord legends! All you do is hide behind Lydia's back and do a little squeaking here and there! Guess what? I don't need a fucking celebrity to win this war! In fact it's shouldn't even be considered a war, cause I'm going up against primitive savages! You little bitch, take you Dragon shit to Ulfric and be his little whore! When I defeat the Stormcloaks I will have a giant rape your ass, then let half a dozen mammoths shit on you, order the guards to unleash countless arrows to your knees, and finally have mages burn you alive, resurrect you, then burn you again for my entertainment!
SMD, General Tullius
Dear Hadvar,
The fuck do you mean, the Dragonborn single-handedly took over Markarth!? And no, I never said anything foul to the Dragonborn!
Regards, General Tullius
(Attachment- A dozen bottles of skooma)
Dear Dragonborn,
Let me first say how disgraced I am of myself for behaving the way I did. I must have had to much to drink that night, cause why would anyone in their right minds insult the greatest Nord hero from the legends! My deepest apologies oh great and mighty Dovakin!
Regards, General Tullius
P.S. I'm not sure if you're an addict but attached to this letter are what I hope is proper compensation for my misconduct.
Tell me how you felt bout this chapter, not sure how I feel about it myself? But BIG things are in store for the next update…*barely contains excitement*…..SEASON UNENDING!