"Here's what I will admit," Kanaya said pensively. "I'll tell you that it isn't something with which you necessarily should concern yourself." She smiled slightly, almost imperceptibly, and yet her eyes reveal how steadfast in her decision she intended to remain.
Karkat stood facing her in the room. It was a barren location, but none of the spaces on the meteor were what one would call welcome. He sighed and unfolded his crossed arms. Kanaya mentally prepared for the wild gesticulations which would indubiously accompany the inevitable upcoming spiel.
The young troll's voice cracked sporadically as he began. "Listen, I know you're just as fucking stubborn as that bulgesucker you call a matesprit," Kanaya groaned at the insult, "but I'm going to ask you to hear me out. No matter how goddamn capable that you've got it in your convoluted thinkpan you are, Lalonde's fucking worried about you." Karkat's voice grew in strength, gaining confidence as he continued. "And a lot of the rest of the barely competent assholes here would go up in mother fucking flames if they knew you were over here acting like you're above whatever shit is clearly getting to you. I'm not going to pretend to know what the hell you're hiding from me, because Rose just clammed the fuck up. Maybe she doesn't even know. I'm not well-versed in her stupid fucking idiosyncrasies. Remind me to ask you for a fucking crash course in why humans should just go fuck themselves later. Whatever the case, it was fucking ridiculous that she suggested I come talk to you."
"Karkat, that's enough," Kanaya said as forcefully as she dared. Even if he wasn't being the most courteous of anyone involved, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
"I'm not fucking done. All I really wanted to get through your thick skull is that I'm right fucking here if you want to talk. I'm sure any other douchebag would gladly fall victim to your stupid jadeblooded secrets, but we used to be best fucking friends, you know? I just wish you'd talk to me more than one in a goddamn sweep. Fuck, you didn't even want my fucking help, so I don't know why I'm acting like I'm needed here. This was all Lalonde's fault." He slammed his palm against his fore. "Whatever. I'll just fucking leave."
Kanaya noted his shoulders slump as he turned. He wasn't wrong. In the past, she'd contemplated proposing a moirallegiance with Karkat, although she now doubted the authenticity of the pale feelings she had believed she harbored. Regardless, they were friends, and she didn't want to lose him as such.
"Karkat, please don't view my withholding of information as a gesture of ill will. There are simply some things that I cannot feel comfortable disclosing to anyone," Kanaya assured. Perhaps it was too late to mend this friendship. After nearly two years spent off with her quadrantmate, ignoring practically every other sapient being on the meteor, of course he felt betrayed. "This is just one of those things."
He spun around. For someone so small, he could appear extremely intimidating when irritated. His upper lip curled upwards in hostility, but his voice was shockingly quiet. For someone who so frequently shouted, this was a drastic change. "I don't care. I actually could not give one shitspewing fuck anymore. Either tell me or don't, and don't think I'll get up in arms if you decide hiding shit from me is the best possible move given these shitty fucking circumstances. Because I won't! It's not like this is something that would be, I don't know, relevant to my fucking life! Why would it? Maybe you're over-estimating the amount of importance I place on knowing what's going on with you." Karkat crossed his arms and turned his eyes down at the floor.
Kanaya only stared before finally speaking, "If it would be some form of recompense, I could reveal this to you." She understood why he felt this way. She would be upset too, were she in his place.
"Don't fucking bother," he said, turning on his heel. "I don't need you confiding in me out of some twisted form of pity you can't fucking help but feel. I'd welcome a gesture of sincerity with the most open arms you've ever fucking laid eyes on, but don't think I'm pathetic enough to need you to open up for no reason other than to keep me from losing my goddamn shit. Because everything here is fucking together. Look at how fucking collected I am!" He threw his hands in the air as he walked toward the door. "Fucking Strider-esque levels of cool."
Kanaya quietly approached him, resting a hand gently on his shoulder. "Perhaps I am not one to speak here, but is there any particular reason you feel so offended by my persistence in not telling you?"
He stared at the wall in front of himself. She knew the answer. What kind of question was that?
"I would like to offer an apology. That was uncalled-for."
Karkat twisted away, stomping out of the room. Kanaya slowly lowered her arm back to her side. She sighed at her own poor judgement of the situation and slowly sat on the ground.
Outside the room, Karkat turned a corner with reckless haste, nearly colliding with an awaiting Rose. "Well?" she demanded. He wrinkled his forehead at her.
"Take a fucking guess," he barked, continuing past her without furthering the conversation. He didn't know where he was going, only that he didn't want to deal with anyone else for an extended period of time. Some obscure room would probably do. Rose shouted something down the hall at him, but he was too flustered to begin processing the words.
A stairwell came into view. After frantically climbing the first section of stairs to the landing, Karkat slammed his back into a corner and slid melodramatically down a wall. Even doing so, he knew he was over-reacting. Kanaya had been willing to speak to him, and he blew it because of his own emotions. He clacked his jaw together, teeth slipping and nicking his tongue. Cherry blood leaked into his mouth from the wound. It stung. The troll spat the blood on the ground beside him before slamming his forehead against his knees.
"I fucked up."