Don't own it. Nope. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.
As the days passed Raven began to venture from her room, needing less and less help each time. She'd walk to the kitchen for some tea in the early mornings, she still hadn't eaten real food. Even the waffles that Cyborg made just didn't smell as good, and she just couldn't bring herself to eat them. She'd go to the living room to meditate. To familiarize herself with her emotions and because it was simply habit and something she enjoyed at this point. Sometimes she'd just wander aimlessly around the rather large, old house, but for the most part she stayed inside her room. Sure, her friends would visit her and she'd speak to them if they were in the kitchen of living room, but the conversations were never very long. The others just couldn't handle being in so much darkness for so long with the constant smell of incense clinging to their noses. She NEVER went outside and she didn't even go near open windows. She never went back to Beast Boy's room and she didn't ask for her cloak back. There must've been a reason that it was with him and not her; Robin wasn't stupid enough to arbitrarily leave her cloak on him after she'd placed it there in Alaska. Little did she know that the reason her cloak was with him was because he'd grow agitated and rip his IV out of his own arm if it wasn't with him. (The team had tried to give the cloak back to Raven on several occasions while both members were out of commision with disastrous results.)
It'd been five weeks since the avalance at Alaska and four had been spent at Granny's, as she insisted they all call her. Raven was fond of the old woman because she was exactly as she seemed: short, round, kind and the smell of cookies seemed to permanently follow her around as she puttered through the house, keeping the bouquets spread throughout the household haphazardly full and fresh. She even had laugh lines and freckles scattered throughout her once shop-stoppinly beautiful, weather-worn face. Four weeks, or thereabouts and disaster struck in the form of Bumblebee's cousins. One five-year-old and one eleven-year-old had come to spend the weekend with their grandma. Raven didn't know why and she didn't much care. She spent most of the time locked within her own room, meditating and not thinking about Beast Boy and the mission she'd gone on with children. She'd repeatedly tried to contact Robin but had only gotten him and as misguided as his help had been, she know appreciated it, even if she'd never let him know that. No, she couldn't be thinking about that. That was when her emotions tended to act out and make things happen with her powers that she hadn't meant to do, thinking about Beast Boy.
"Raven?" Bumblebee stuck her head through the door, looking for the sorceress.
"Yes?"
"Would you want to come watch a movie with the kids, me and Starfire? They can be quite a handful and the boys abandoned us with an eleven-year-old boy." Before Raven could even begin to refuse Starfire was in the room pleading as if she were pleading for her life.
"Oh please please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-"
"Alright. Alright Star. I'll watch the movie with you guys."
"YAY!" Instantly Raven regretting the decision as the breath was squeezed from her lungs in a bone crushing Starfire hug.
"I think I might need some clothes though." Bumblebee gave her a devilish grin as Raven looked down at her tired black leotard.
"Gotcha covered!" And so that was how Raven found herself sitting on the couch in black short shorts and a black turtleneck that hung and followed her form in a strange way next to a rather excitable eleven-year-old named Timmy. The movie they had chosen to watch had, of course, been a superhero movie since Timmy was obsessed with them. Raven couldn't help but watch the flik with a certain amount of disdain. They were all so stupid and the answers were pulled out of a hat somewhere in another dimension and so outlandish nobody would've ever thought of them on their own. It was when the movie was nearly over that the little boy dared to speak to her.
"You know there's real superheroes out there? Like this, but actually real?" She scoffed in her mind but tried not to let him see her roll her eyes.
"Yep."
"Like the Teen Titans." A small smile tugged its way onto her lips at the mention of her team as a real group of superheroes. "They're cool. Cyborg's got this awesome canon for an arm and it's all blue and stuff. Isn't that awesome?" Starfire turned her head to the little boy slowly and opened her mouth to say something, but Raven's hand covered it. She didn't need some other little boy begging her for help all the time if he found out who she was. Raven smiled at the alien as understanding dawned upon her. Having a secret identity was new to them both after all.
"Hey, Star do you wanna help me and Bri make some cookies?" The little girl was already dragging Bee towards the kitchen as she said this.
"Cookies!" The five-year-old screamed as her cousin grabbed onto the doorframe, waiting for Starfire to say something.
"I'd love to! Raven, do you wish to come?" She was already reaching for Raven's hand, to drag her into the kitchen much like what was happening with Bumblebee, but she took one look at Timmy's disgusted face and decided against it. Even if she didn't like kids she knew enough not to leave one alone in a room like this for an extended period of time.
"I want to watch the rest of the movie with Timmy actually. You have fun." The alien girl almost looked crestfallen until another screech of 'cookies!' whipped her head around just in time to see Bee disappear into the kitchen. Without another word, Starfire happily bounded off of the couch and into the kitchen to join her friend.
"So do you know much about the Teen Titans?" The sparkle was back in the little boy's eye as he turned to his companion and sat cross-legged on the couch.
"A little." Everything.
"Robin used to be my least favorite when I was a kid." You're still a kid, idiot. "Because he doesn't have any powers. I mean, that' slame, but then when I got older I realized it made him cool 'cause he does all this cool, brave stuff without any powers. Right? Isn't he cool?" Oh, if only 'fearless leader' could hear his biggest fan. Raven dutifully nodded her head as she turned to the kid and sat cross-legged across from him on the couch cushions.
"He's the leader too. And like almost Batman, right?" He's a little less brooding than the Bat. "And Batman's like the best there is! He doesn't have any powers, but he can beat Superman! And he's got the BatMobile which is just awesome, right?" She nodded and smiled again, happy to let him do all the talking for now.
"You don't say much, do you?" She blinked as he echoed her own thoughts slightly.
"No." His freckles moved whenever he talked and she longed to straighten the one piece of blonde hair on his forehead that wasn't in line with the rest of his hair. She'd forgotten the enthusiasm little kids had.
"What was I talking about again?"
"The Teen Titans and then Batman." She had to admit, it was a little odd yet gratifying hearing somebody explain your own team to you. She knew every little intimate detail about them all. Why Robin had learned that move and when Starfire couldn't fly it meant that she and Robin had had another fight, but her side of the tower was filled with incessant giggling when they made up again. She knew that Cyborg had gone with Jinx to the prom while undercover at the villain school. She also knew that he'd been at the gym, working out the entire night when Jinx and Kid Flash became a real couple. She knew that Robin liked to blast his music no matter who was around and she knew all of Beast Boy's favorite games and his high scores, but she didn't know what it was like to watch Robin fly through the air and beat up the bad guys and be awestruck simply because he managed to do it all without any sort of supernatural powers although some days she wondered if his ability to sulk was inherited from his adopted father or some other power he'd been born with. She was actually surprised the boy hadn't recognized her yet. Not many people had purple hair and a red gem on their forehead.
"Right! Who haven't I talked about?"
"I think you missed the girls." On some level she was aware that the credits for the movie were now rolling up the screen.
"Starfire's pretty cool I guess, but being Robin's girlfriend is probably the coolest thing she can do. I mean, she's an alien. That's kind of a cheat card. Flying, super strength and everything, she was just born with it."
"So was Superman."
"Yeah, but did her planet explode?" She chuckled and remembered their visit to her world for Starfire's marriage. Robin had reached new levels of sulkiness that Raven hadn't known existed until that point in time.
"Good point." She refused to bring herself or Beast Boy up. She didn't need to talk about him any more than she wanted to hear what this little boy thought about her. She wasn't the girlfriend of anyone cool after all.
"Oh and there's Raven. I didn't use to like her very much, but then she got all awesome and got rid of Trigon like all by herself." She nearly choked on air. How could he know about that? He'd been stone at the time! Nobody but the team remembered that. How could he know?
"Trigon?" She remembered at the last moment that she was supposed to have been stone at the time too and she wouldn't know who Trigon was.
"Oh, right. You don't know. See, Raven's this giant demon's daughter and she was the portal for him to come down to Earth and destroy it, and he did, but Raven saved all the rest of the Titans and then they brought her back because they had some of her power and she got rid of Trigon and put everything back the way it was." She stared open-mouthed at the little boy. "My cousin told me. Because she's Bumblebee! Don't tell anyone though 'cause even I'm not supposed to know about it. She's friend with the Titans and everything. She said Beast Boy told her all about it." And then she remembered. Beast Boy wouldn't shut up about it for weeks afterward. Several times she'd almost killed him herself but Robin kept telling her that he was just happy they'd made it through and that she was back. She'd told him she didn't care how happy he was. He didn't need to be annoying.
"Do you promise not to tell?" Tell who? Myself? Hi Raven, I'm not supposed to tell you, but you saved the world from your father!
"Promise." The little boy smiled up at her.
"So who's your favorite?"
"Beast Boy." She hadn't meant to say that. It'd just jumped right out of her mouth without warning. Admittedly he was her favorite, but she hadn't meant to tell anyone that. She hadn't meant to give anyone any sort of idea that she might actually like the green boy.
"Oh, him? He used to be my favorite too. Before he got lame." Her face turned to stone at his words.
"Lame?"
"Yeah, I mean he got knocked out by an avalance? Come on! Even Robin didn't get put into a coma by that and he can't turn into a wooly mammoth or anything cool like that!" The room began to get darker and darker but the little boy didn't seem to notice. "What a lame thing. He's not cool enough to be a Teen Titan. My cousin should replace him. He's not worthy." Before the poor kid even knew what was happening, his companion was towering over him, glaring at him with four red eyes.
"You should not speak of what you do not know little boy." Her voice had turned deeper and raspier. She sounded evil. "He saved the entire team. We were all buried beneath the ice and snow. He's in that coma because he had to find us and save us, the idiot." As she spoke, however, she began to shrink down. "He's such an idiot." Tears began to prick the backs of her eyes. She would not cry again.
"Raven?" She didn't hear the astonished, scared boy.
"He was idiotic. Completely stupid. He shoudn't have saved us all. Or at least not the way that he did."
"You're actually Raven. You're THE Raven." She didn't notice that he was no longer scared or that he was moving closer and closer to her as the tears forced themselves forward and began to pool, still trapped within her eyes.
"What's the use of saveing me if he's not going to be around to be annoying? To try to make me laugh? What's the point if he's just. Not. Here?" Small, warm arms reachedout and encircled her neck and the tears spilled down her cheeks as she closed her eyes.
"It's OK Raven. I'm sure he'll come back. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. He's not lame. He's really really tough and awesome." Unseen, Starfire slowly backed away from the room, green orbs dying from around her hands as a fresh rain broke down and showered the ground, the weathermen going crazy over another freak thunderstorm. When Bumblebee and Timmy's little sister returned with Starfire and a fresh batch of cookies in tow, they found Raven and Timmy sitting on the couch playing rock, paper, scissors.
"Hey, guys." They both turned and smiled at the approach of the three girls, Raven's eyes rimmed the slightest bit red.
"Want some cookies?" The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of coloring, cookies, and a rock, paper, scissors tournament. When Timmy and Bri's mother came to pick them up the three teenagers waved goodbye, sad to see their companions leave.
It was later in the afternoon that Raven snapped.
"Are you sure he's going to come back? It's been five weeks. Don't you think he would've woken up by now? Are you positive that we're not just holding onto something already gone and just hurting ourselves even more?" She stopped, barely able to breathe. It was Bumblebee's voice. She was talking about Beast Boy, she was sure of it. How could she be talking about him like that? He'd wake up. He had to. It was the only thing that kept her going through the days anymore. How would she be able to live with herself if she hadn't saved him? She'd only just realized that she was helplessly in love with her teammate.
"Bee, we can't think like that. Think about what Raven might say."
"Raven? I've only ever seen them fight. Why would she overly upset by this? She's tough." She heard Cyborg sigh as she felt the familiar stirring of rage within her. Maybe Cyborg could still save his girlfriend.
"You don't know them like I do, Bee. She's hanging on to the edge right now. I've only ever seen her this way once before and he was the only one who could fix her. They have a strange relationship, sure, but it's a strong one."
"Cyborg, she'll be fine. She'll get over it. I know she will. She's tougher than you think she is. She can do without Beast Boy. Besides, she deserves someone who will understand her better in my opinion."
"You should not speak of things you do not know little girl." She burst through the door, four red eyes alight and gleaming.
"Raven?" Cyborg choked out and Bumblebee drained of all color. She saw him lift his comminicator to show somebody the image of her in her demon form, but she didn't care. A tentacle of darkness slithered out from the cloak of shadow draped around her form and lifted Bee into the air.
"Raven, what are you doing? You need to calm down." She ignored his pleas. "Raven please, I know that you're trying to express more emotions. I know this isn't a full takeover so real Raven or Happy Raven or Love Raven! Please put her down! She's my girlfriend and I love her." His voice cracked as he saw his friend holding his girlfriend aloft by her throat, said girlfriend's struggles becoming less and less. "Please put her down, Raven. Please." Slowly she shrunk back down into her human form and Bee dropped to the floor, coughing and gasping for air, clutching at her throat. Horrified by what she had down, Raven leaned heavily agianst the doorframe, watching Cyborg fall to his knees next to her side and cover her in a hug, trying to protect her from anything and everything.
"RAVEN!" She heard Robin barrelling down the hallway and then skid to a stop a few feet away when he saw her as he normally did. "Raven. What happened?" She didn't answer him. She didn't even look at him. She turned and fled into her room. Not sure what to do, not sure what he'd see, he looked into the room to see Cyborg holding Bee as she cried.
"Cyborg. What happened?" The robotic teen looked up at his leader, eyes brimming with tears.
"Bee was suggesting that he pull the plug on BB because we don't know if he's going to wake up or not. Raven must've heard and she.. She went demon. Choked Bee." Robin looked down at the frightened girl with new understanding as Starfire appeared on the scene, a towel wrapped around her body and her fiery hair down and dripping wet, padding towards her boyfriend on bare feet.
"I've never seen her like that..." Bumblebee was obviously still shell-shocked by the events that had transpired.
"Only choked her?" Cyborg nodded and the dark-haired teen turned to his girlfriend. Quickly he kissed her cheek, then thought better of it and pressed his heated lips to hers. Pulling back too quickly for Starfire's taste and resting his forehead on hers.
"I'll explain in a little bit. Get dressed. You're too distracting." She smiled as he strode purposefully towards Raven's door, turning around and going into her own room to get dressed. He didn't even bother to knock. He just began to talk.
"Raven. You didn't kill her. You know that. You stopped yourself. You can control this. I'm out here for you. I'll always be out here for you. Don't think you're alone. We're all out here for you. No matter what. I'll explain things to Bumblebee. She'll forgive you. I know she will. Please come out." But the girl on the other side of the door didn't hear it. All she could hear was a familiar impish laugh and the birds singing. All she could see was green. All she could feel was her heart ripping itself out of her chest. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She didn't even move. Not until four days later.