Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, or anything affiliated.

WARNING: May be triggering.

For Alana, the past two weeks had literally been hell. She literally had no energy, her skin was deathly pale, and she felt extremely weak and tired. Her school bag seemed to get heavier every day, despite her not having anything extra inside. She spent almost all of her free time from school and auditions standing in front of her bedroom mirror, analyzing and criticizing her body. She had only been living on an apple for each meal, bottles of water, and the occasional cup of green tea. She was positive that her friends and family had begun to suspect that something was up. The fact that she had begun to only wearing dark, baggy clothes wasn't doing anything to lower the number of suspicious glances she was receiving from her peers.

But she was losing weight.

She could see her ribs clearly through her skin, but they weren't as defined as she would have liked. Her thighs would still rub together when she walked, but only just. Her arms were as thin as sticks, but not as thin as twigs. She was still nowhere near to where she would have liked to be.

But I still had time, and now I had more motivation.

What was really motivating her was the fact that she was started to really take notice of how guys like skinny girls. Just last week, Alana had noticed Logan and Carlos checking Blonde Jennifer out after school. Oh god, Jennifer was so skinny. I would kill for that body. No, she was already killing herself for that body. Jennifer had totally known that the two boys were checking her out. When she passed by Alana as she was walking through the Palmwoods lobby, they had had a small conversation, one that had angered her beyond speech:

"Hey there, Fat-," Blonde Jennifer began to say, before Curly-haired Jennifer nudged her. "Hey there, Alana, I noticed you're on a diet. Shame it hasn't been working, that's too bad."

Alana stayed totally silent; her words were hitting her like a million darts right through the chest.

"I know you like Logan, Alana."

"W-What, Logan's my best friend. That would just be weird."

"Oh god, don't pull that crap on me. I know you like him. It's too bad that he isn't into fatties like you. There's a reason why he was staring at me today and not you. Have you noticed why guys don't date girls with as much fat as you? It's because they don't want to been seen with massive lumps of fat clinging to their arms. Can you think of anything more disgusting than kissing a fat girl? Good thing I don't have to deal with that problem. You, on the other hand…"

Tears sprang to her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of the three girls. Her whole body stiffened and started shaking slightly. She had absolutely no response to Jennifer's remarks. It didn't help that she was right.

"Oh dear, I've said too much. Don't worry Alana; we'll get rid of all that fat soon enough. There's no need to give up. I'm signing you up for fat camp this summer, isn't that great!? You might come back even be skinnier than me!" Jennifer exclaimed with fake excitement.

"Oh Jennifer, she won't be there long enough to be that skinny. We will just have to sign her up for next summer as well, the poor thing," Brunette Jennifer said her voice oozing with false pity, the three girls walked away, smirking.

Alana lowered herself down onto one of the couches in the lobby, and buried her face in her Russian history textbook to hide the tears that had begun to fall.

Later that evening, the guys, Lucy, and Alana were all at the guys' apartment, having what Kendall and Logan had coined 'The Greatest Sleepover in the History of Forever'. Kendall's mom was visiting relatives in Minnesota with Katie, which meant that for the next two weeks, they had the place to themselves. They decided to have some fun, and invited the two girls over, and they had already planned a party which James and Carlos had insisted on naming 'Hollywood Super Party of Hollywood' for the next day.

The guys ordered four pizzas, which disappeared nearly as fast as they appeared. For the past three hours, they had competed against each other playing video games (which the guys had gotten a bit overexcited about), had popcorn fights, and played truth or dare.

Despite all of the commotion Logan had been watching Alana like a hawk for the past couple of hours, he had already realized that she wasn't eating properly, but she had chalked it up to high levels of stress and homework. But because the sleepover was completely stress and homework free, Logan made sure that she had eaten enough for the night. He had managed to get her to eat one slice of pizza, before the three over boys ate all the other slices. He tried to get her eat some pop corn, but she had already eaten too much. Due to her malnutrition and lack of calories in the past two weeks, her body wasn't used to eating such fatty and highly caloric foods.

They were all now sat on the orange couch, with blankets wrapped around their legs watching Batman: The Dark Knight. Carlos was passed out on the couch - oblivious to the world, which meant that Lucy just had to write something on his face. Kendall and James sat on either side of Lucy, who was fiddling with the ends of her hair, mildly interested in the movie. She would've preferred to watch something thrilling; the amount of action was boring her. Completely opposite to Logan, whose eyes were glued to the screen, while he stuffed a handful of pop corn into his mouth every now and again. Alana was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. She was staring at the TV, but like Lucy she was hardly focusing on the movie.

Towards the end of the movie, Alana noticed that everyone but Logan had fallen asleep. But he was so engrossed in the movie that he wouldn't even notice if the apartment was on fire, let alone her gone. She slowly got up from the couch and crept to the bathroom, shutting the door lightly behind her.

"Finally ready to throw up, Alana?"

She tied her hair up before slowly bending down and kneeling over the toilet. Her head was spinning; she felt dizzy and weaker than usual. Her hands were bluish at the fingertips and cold and pale everywhere else. What was happening to me?

"It means you're on your way to beautiful-land. Soon you'll be just like the Jennifers, boys will like you, and Logan will love you like you love him, but not until you get serious about losing weight. Come on, fatass."

"Alana!"

She vaguely heard Logan call her name, but she paid no mind. She shoved my head over the toilet again. I had to do this! For the Jennifers. For Logan. For me.

"Stop acting like it's such a big deal. Just do it. Lots of girls have done it before. I though you wanted to be pretty."

"Alana! Batman's talking to the Joker!" Logan was calling her. She ignored him. She was lost in her own little world.

"Come ON. Don't be a bitch."

Alana was literally shaking. Tears were flooding her vision. She hesitantly moved her finger towards the back of her throat.

"Alana it's your favourite part!" Logan was calling her name again. She heard him start to walk over to the bathroom. "Alana!"

"Hurry up! Don't let him catch you! Why are you such an idiot? Don't be a coward."

"Alana, are you okay?!"

She saw a tear fall from her eye, and she pushed her finger farther back. Why couldn't I do it? She shoved harder, and began to cough and gag. Yes! Just a bit father!

"There we go, honey. There's a good girl. Come on, don't let me down."

Alana felt her finger touch the back of her throat, and she began to retch violently. Bile sprang up from her throat, along with food from days ago.

"Nice job, sweetie. Now do it again. Once won't cut it. You want to be pretty, don't you?"

She moved her hand to her throat again, just as the bathroom door was flung open, and saw the shocked face of her best friend.

"Alana?"

I hope you liked the chapter. As always, reviews are much appreciated.

WonderstruckEnchanted