Disclaimer: gwah! ...va? oh & i don't own demetri martin. :o(
EMMETT POV!
Mid-day, I found myself shamefully hiding in the midst of the trees. Since when did indestructible, giant vampires hide from eight year olds?
Since they evolved into vicious beasts.
Beasts!
I sat in the middle of the forest, seriously considering eating them.
Which would probably end in disaster, considering death usually leads to such things.
Suddenly, I heard the shuffling of feet, and the scent hit me hard.
Since when did eight year olds have such tracking skills?
His incessant sniffling grew louder, and I swore to myself.
"EMMETT!" the tiny voice boomed.
I quickly broke a piece off a tree.
"What are you doing out here?" Tommy asked once he reached my cleverly thought out hideout.
"Gathering some wood," I said, fiddling with my prop.
"What do you need wood for?" he asked, making me look like a complete idiot.
Since when did eight year olds make indestructible, giant vampires look like complete idiots?
Not that I'm not one, but that's seriously messed up, guys.
"Well, that's a dumb question," I replied, walking away.
"I'm telling Jodie!" Jodie was the head counselor, a forty year old woman devoted to taking care of obnoxious little children in the middle of nowhere for the rest of her life. What a lucky gal.
"It's not like I called you dumb," I said. "Just your question."
"No, not that! Your shoelace is untied! That's a safety hazard!"
…
"Oh, of course." I leaned down and tied my too-long shoelace at a human pace, detesting every second of it.
When I got up, I didn't see him standing in front of me, but I felt him from behind. What…?
Before I could realize what he was about to do, I felt a tiny thud on my back, followed by a long "ooooowwwww".
Crap.
I turned around to see Tommy laying on the ground, his jaw dropped and eyes staring at me.
"What the hell!"
'What the hell?' WHAT THE HELL? What kind of eight year old says what the hell? Did I miss something in this whole life thing?
"What?" I asked innocently.
"That was worse than the time that I ran into the wall at school!" he exclaimed. "Why are you so hard?"
You turn me on.
"I don't know. Are you making fun of my body type?" I said, pretending to feel self-conscious.
The kid pouted, seeming to give up very quickly.
"Fine," he grumbled. "Let's get back to camp, cuz we're making glitter stuff. But don't worry. I make manly stuff…." He made two fists and flexed his undeveloped muscles. "Like skulls. And daggers."
But you're so flamboyant…
"I make unicorns," I said shamelessly.
Then Tommy seemed to sigh. "Okay, good. Cuz I really wanted to make one of those kitties that come with the stencils.
"Hey, that's pretty sick, man."
"Should I get the first aid kit?"
Oh, boy.
Yeah, that Demetri Martin thing?
the glitter comment about skulls&daggers and stuff,
that was part of his material.
the guy's amazing. :D
i'm so excited for finally updating a previously written story,
other than adding new ones.
woo!
reviews are fragrant.
XD