Bender wore his scarf over his head. And for some reason, I had forgiven him for the awful things he had just said. He began whistling the classic marching tune, and slowly everyone joined in. Sadly, Vernon walked in just then. We stopped at once, and Bender began whistling Beethoven's song.

"Alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch." He said.

"Wait…here?" I asked.

"Here." He repeated.

"Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir." Andrew tried.

"Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew." He yelled.

"Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich. But, will milk be made available to us?" I asked sweetly.

"We're extremely thirsty." Andrew added.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." Standish said innocently.

"I've seen her dehydrate. It's disgusting!" I added in. Bender stood up slightly.

"Relax, I'll get it!" he said.

"Ah, ah, ah. Grab some wood there, bub!" I smirked at Bender.

"Grab some wood, Bender!" I mocked him.

"What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?" Vernon said, ignoring my mocking. "You!" he pointed at Andrew, and scanned the tables with his finger. "And you! Hey! What's her name? Wake her up!" he said, pointing to Allison, "Come on, on your feet missy! Let's go! This is no rest home!" I watched while Allison stood up and put her bag on. "There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!" Vernon said, waving his hand to the hallway.

Standish and I-though we hated each other-sat next to each other on the statue in the middle of the library while Brian and Bender sat next to each other.

"Hey, you guys wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts? It's pretty tasty…" Bender said, touching a set of books.

"Ew." I grimaced.

"No thank you." Standish said.

"How do you think he rides a bike?" Bender smirked.

"You're sick." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Which one of you would ever consider dating a guy like this?"

"Can't you just leave us alone?" Standish asked. I nodded in agreement with her…for once.

"I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car…although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat, because his nuts would ride shotgun." I tried not to laugh at that, but let a smirk slip onto my face.

"You know what I wish I was doing?" Claire said fondly.

"What?" I asked before Bender said, "You better watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry." He said.

"A cherry?" Brian asked him.

"I wish I was on a plane to France." Claire said, with no one listening.

"I wish I was in New York City." I added on, and looked at the guys.

"I'm not a cherry." Brian insisted.

"When have you ever gotten laid?" Bender asked him.

"I've laid, lots of times!" Brian tried to convince him.

"Name one." Bender insisted.

"She lives in Canada, met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her." Brian said, shaking his head.

"You know what else would be nice?" Claire asked.

"South America?" I asked.

"Oh, you, Claire and Nikky, did it?" Both Claire and I snapped around.

"Excuse me?" I asked. Claire yelled, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Brian tried. He looked at Bender, "Let's just drop it, we'll talk about it later!" he said frantically.

"Drop what? What the hell man?" I asked him.

"Well, Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you three are riding the hobby horse!...Now, is it both of them at the same time? Or separate times?" he added in.

"Little pig!" we exclaimed in unison. We looked at each other and grimaced.

"No I'm not! I'm not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't, that's it! That's all that was said!" Brian tried to explain.

"Well then what were you motioning to Claire and Nikky for?"

"You know, I think both Nico and I would appreciate this very much, Brian." Claire said. I nodded in agreement.

"He is lying!" Brian said, pointing to Bender.

"Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire and Nikky?" Bender asked, raising his brows.

"You know he's lying, right?"

"Were you or were you not motioning to Claire Standish and Nicholetta Moore?"

"Yeah, but it was only…was only because I didn't want her to know that I was a virgin, okay?" Bender stared at Brian blankly. "Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry." Brian shrugged. Claire laughed, and looked at me-making me laugh.

"Why didn't you want us to know you were a virgin?" she walked forward.

"Because it's personal business, it's my personal, private business." Brian tapped his chest as he said it.

"Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business." Bender pointed out. I smacked him upside the head

"I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin." Claire shrugged, touching the table top.

Bender raised a brow, "You do?" Brian asked in shock.

"Do you believe this?" Bender asked while Claire simply smiled, and nodded.

I watched everyone while they got out their lunches. Bender watched as Claire took out her lunch.

"What's in there?" I asked, leaning towards her.

"Guess." She smirked. "Where's your lunch?" she asked Bender and I.

"You're wearing it…" Bender said while I muttered, "My dad's stupid."

Bender grabbed a Coke and tossed it back to Allison. She caught it, and set it down. I saw that she was having a sushi. Gross, I thought.

"What's that?" Bender asked in disgust.

"Sushi." I answered for her.

"Su-shi?" he asked, frowning.

"Rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed." She explained further.

"You won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?" he asked, clearly confused.

"Can I eat?" she asked rudely.

"I don't know…" he said, looking grossed out, "Give it a try…" he shrugged. Andrew began taking out at least three sandwiches out of his Value Mart bag, a bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.

"Are…you…kidding?" I asked in disbelief. He ignored me, and I saw Allison open her Coke. She watched as it fizzed over, and slurped it loudly. She threw the meat from her sandwich on the 'face' of the statue. I saw while she opened up a bunch of pixie stix, and pour it on the bread. My stomach growled, and I crossed my arms over it. To make it worse, she added on a handful of Cap'n Crunch. I held my stomach tighter so they couldn't hear it gurgling. Bender got up, and sat next to Brian.

"What're we having?" he asked happily.

"Uh, it's your standard, regular lunch I guess…" he shrugged. I walked over to sit on the chair in front of them. I watched as Bender reached in, and took out a thermos, setting it in front of Brian.

"Milk?" he asked.

"Soup." Brian corrected. Bender reached in, and smacked Brian's hand nonchalantly while he pulled out a box of juice, "That's apple juice…" Brian reached for it.

"I can read! PB&J with the crusts cut off…well Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch, all the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Right?" he asked sarcastically.

"Uh, no, Mr. Johnson." Brian said. Bender smirked, and stood up.

"Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house…Son!" he called with one hand next to his mouth. "Yeah dad?" he asked, twirling his fingers on his cheeks. "How's your day, pal?...Great Dad, how's yours?...Super, say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?...Great Dad, but I've got homework to do!...That's alright son, you can do it-on the boat!...Gee!...Dear, isn't our son swell?..." he said in a quiet voice this time, "Yes Dear, isn't life swell?" Bender pretended to kiss each of them, then made the father punch the mother in the face. He got a serious look on his face, and sat down.

"Alright, what about your family?" Andrew asked him. Bender stood up and said, "Oh, mine?" he pointed his finger forward while he grunted.

"Stupid, worthless, no good, God damned, freeloading, son of a bitch, retarded, bigmouth, know it all, asshole jerk!" he turned softer, but still cruel, "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." He slammed his hand back, pretending to smack her. He turned rougher again, "Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie?" he turned into himself, "What about you Dad?...Fuck you!...No, Dad, what about you?...Fuck you!...No, Dad, what about you?...FUCK YOU!" he pretended to be his father, and hit himself.

"Is that for real?" Brian asked.

"You wanna come over sometime?" he asked Brian, raising his eyebrows.

"That's bullshit. It's all part of your image; I don't believe a word of it." Andrew said angrily.

"Dude…don't even!" I said, getting angry with the jock. He looked over at me.

"Well, then what's your home life like?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy…" Brian interrupted me. He got up. "Daddy! I'm home!" he said, mocking me. "Hey there sweetie pie!" Johnson said, pretending to kiss my fake forehead. "Hey, where's mom?...Oh, in the kitchen-making us some tea…Oh! I'll go help her!" Johnson narrowed his eyes at me. "Isn't that right, Nico?"

"You don't know anything…" I muttered, shaking my head.

"Don't I?" he asked sarcastically.

"You really don't know anything about my fucking home life, so just shut the fuck up, Johnson about shit you don't know!" I yelled. Bender waved his hand to the floor in front of himself.

"Then why don't you show me?" he said. I glared at him, and got up.

"Where the fuck was you, bitch?" I said, mocking my dad. "I was at work. You know-that place where you get money?...I only asked where you was. NOT a whole fucking explanation!...Sorry Dad…Don't fucking apologize to me!" I made it like he was punching me in the face. I threw my head back. They watched me in interest. "And you know, later that night he's gonna climb in my bed on top of me…" they were silent. "Like I said, don't say shit you don't even know about, Johnson!" I yelled.

"Are you for real?" Andrew asked quietly.

"You don't believe her?" Bender asked, raising his brow.

"No…"

"NO?"

"Did I stutter?"

I jumped in, and pulled down my pants to my hips, and pulled my shirt up to under my breasts. "You see this?" I said, pointing at the long scar running down. He gulped slightly. "This is what happens when you try to fight off your alcoholic dad when you have a headache!" I pulled my shirt off, and showed him the top of my breast-where there was a scar in the shape of a bite mark. "And this is what happens when you smack him in the face! Do I stutter?" I asked furiously, still shoving my boob in front of his face. He looked at Bender awkwardly.

"You wanna know about me?" Bender said, coming forward with his right sleeve rolled up. "Do you believe this? Huh? It's about the size of a cigar…Do I stutter? You see, this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage." I ran away, and upstairs.

"Fucking dumbasses." I muttered. I saw Bender throw a bunch of maps from the map table onto the floor.

*()()*

"How do you know where Vernon went?" Claire asked while we walked out.

"I don't…" Bender shrugged. I walked along with them, walking quickly.

"Well then, how do you know when he'll be back?" Claire continued.

"I don't…being bad feels pretty good, huh?" Brian tapped my shoulder.

"What's the point in going to Bender's locker?" he asked me.

"Beats me…" Andrew shrugged.

"Drugs, you idiot." I hissed, and then walked along.

"This is so stupid…why do you think, why are we risking getting caught?"

"I don't know."

"So then what are we doing?"

"You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you!"

"Drugs, dumbasses!" I hissed right as Bender opened his locker. "Nice locker." I said sarcastically.

"My maid's on vacation, sorry." He reached in, and pulled out various bags.

"Drugs…" Brian opened his mouth.

"That's what I just said-but everybody decides to ignore Nico!" I said, throwing my hands up.

"Screw that Bender…put it back!" Bender walked away.

"Drugs…the boy had marijuana." Brian gasped, and looked at me. Claire followed him. "That was marijuana!" he said.

"Shut up!" Andrew growled, and followed them. I shook my head, and walked away as well.

"We'll cross through the lab, and then we'll double back." Bender informed us.

"You better be right, if Vernon cuts us off it's your fault, asshole!"

"Shit, you guys!" I hissed when I saw Vernon getting a drink. "We have to go!" I said, pulling Standish's and Benders arms.

We tried running back to the library, but kept running into Vernon-not literally, of course. "Wait! Wait, hold it! Hold it! We have to go through the cafeteria!" Bender said, stopping us.

"No, the activities hall." Andrew shook his head.

"Hey man, you don't know what you're talking about!"

"No you don't know what you're talking about!" Andrew shook his head.

"Guys!" I hissed frantically. Allison squeaked with me.

"No! We're through listening to you, we're going this way!" Andrew said, running to the activities hall. I pulled Bender's arm along with us. "Shit!" Andrew said, holding onto the iron gate.

"Great idea, Andrew!" I said sarcastically.

"Fuck you!" he growled.

"Fuck you! Why didn't you listen to John?" Claire said, butting in as well.

"We're dead!" Brian screamed.

"No, just me!" Bender said. I turned around.

"What?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
"Get back to the library; keep your unit on this!" Bender backed up, and shoved the marijuana into Brian's pants. He began singing loudly down the hallway, touching lockers, and such.

"Come on-he'll be fine." I said, and started off to the library, everybody following me.

We sat in our seats like good little children, and waited patiently for Bender to come back in. Vernon came, literally pushing him inside. "Get your stuff, let's go!" he growled. Vernon looked at us while I gave Bender his jacket back. "Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day."

"I'm crushed." I said sarcastically.

"Don't start with me, missy." He pointed at me. "You'll be leaving soon as well."

"B-O-O H-O-O!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Everything a big joke, huh Miss Moore? Hitting people is hilarious isn't it? What if your father had been hit?" I glared at him. Like I would care if my father got hit. Bender snorted, "And you too?" Vernon asked, looking to Bender, "The false alarm you pulled on Friday? False alarms are really funny, aren't they? What if your home, what if your family…" he smiled, "What if your dope was on fire?"

"Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear." Andrew laughed slightly. Vernon snapped to his face.

"You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin', is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him, he's a bum. You wanna see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years! You'll see how God damned funny he is!" he glared at Bender, and put his hand on his shoulder. "What's the matter, John? You gonna cry? Let's go."

"Hey keep your fucking hands off me! I expect better manners from you, Dick!" Bender snapped out of his grip, and threw his jacket on my head. I took it off just in time to see Bender walking out the door, throwing things onto the floor.

I sat next to Brian-he was telling me about the greatness of the physics club. I only pretended to be interested. "Do you hear that?" I asked, hearing someone talking. I looked back, and saw John fall through the ceiling screaming: "Oh Shit!". My mouth was open wide as he calmly walked down the stairs.

"I forgot my pencil…" he said calmly.

"God dammit! What in God's name is going on in here?" Vernon yelled at us. "What was that ruckus?" he asked when we didn't answer.
"Uh, what ruckus?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes slightly.

"I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus!" Vernon said, pointing to the door.

Brian, who was sitting next to me, asked: "Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" I smiled at him, and pursed my lips together.

"Watch your tongue young man, watch it!" Vernon said. My eyes traveled to Claire's table…Bender was there! He tried to sit up, but hit his head on the table.

"Ah!" he groaned. I coughed loudly with Andrew and Claire so he wouldn't be found out.

"What is that? What, what is that? What is that noise?" Vernon asked.

"What noise?" Andrew said, pretending to be confused.
"Really, sir, there wasn't any noise…AH!" Claire squealed, and I saw her clench her legs together. And I saw the reason why…who else but Bender? I started coughing again to cover them.

"That noise?" Claire asked, clearly flustered, "Was that the noise you were talking about?"

"No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will." Vernon growled. I tried to hold in my laugh, and put my head on the table. I heard Allison laugh at him, though. "You make book on that missy!" he said angrily, then turned to Claire, "And you! I will not be made a fool of!" he turned, and walked out.

"Too late." I muttered, noticing he still had the toilet seat cover on his pants. At that, I couldn't help but laugh.

"It was an accident!" Bender said frantically, and crawled out.

"You're an asshole!" Claire screamed.

"Bender, are you crazy?" I cried.

"So sue me…" he shrugged, and got up to where Brian and I were sitting. "So, Ahab…Kybo Mein Doobage." He said. Brian stood up, and unbuttoned his pants, handing him the marijuana.

"Yo waist-oid…you're not gonna blaze up in here!" Andrew said. I got up, and walked after him. I looked behind me, and saw Claire and Brian following me.