The day had ended – finally – and Alec breathed a sigh of relief as his last class was let out.
He'd managed to avoid his friends for the rest of the afternoon thank goodness, except for Magnus with whom he shared most classes.
The weird moment with Magnus had passed and he'd been back to his talkative jokey self, but Alec wasn't sure if he was pleased by that or not.
He'd not known what to say, not sure what he'd wanted to say. Part of him wished that Magnus would have brought it up, initiated the conversation, then –
Then what? Even if Magnus had been suggesting something – and he most likely hadn't, it was probably just Alec's imagination running wild and that was why he hadn't mentioned it – Alec wouldn't have a clue what to do.
He'd never dated before, with the whole being gay, in the closet and in love with Magnus. So he had exactly zero experience and zero knowledge of how such things worked, despite having spent so much time around Magnus, Izzy and Jace, all of whom could be considered dating aficionados. But the one thing they all had in common was a wild sense of confidence and self-assurance. Which Alec was most definitely lacking.
How did shy people date? Maybe they didn't. Maybe he was destined to be alone forever.
He chewed his lip as he leaned against his locker, oblivious to the students bustling past him, caught up in his thoughts.
"Hey, Alec!"
He snapped back into the present.
"Oh, hey Clary. Ready to go?"
She nodded and he shouldered his bag, following her out of the building.
Jace had football practice that day and Clary had yet to turn sixteen so Alec was driving her home.
He didn't mind, they actually got on quite well despite the fact that he'd not been so keen on her in the beginning, not liking how quickly his brother had fallen for her.
But they were the real deal. Though they were still young, Alec could see them together forever. He'd warmed up to her as he'd got to know her, appreciating the fiery depths of her bravery, her compassion and her ability to make anyone feel comfortable around her. Being intensely shy, this was an essential trait in any friend of his.
They climbed into his car and were soon cruising away from the Academy, Alec feeling his tension slipping away as the school faded from view. It had not been a day that he would remember fondly. But at least it was over now. They sat in comfortable silence as green trees and rolling fields flashed by, and soon they were driving through quiet suburban streets, the houses stately and colourful just like everything else in Idris.
"So, when are you asking Magnus to the dance?" Clary asked, in an idle tone.
Alec gasped, his hands on the wheel slipping in shock. He grabbed it and jerked just in time; narrowly avoiding taking out somebody's mail box. Clary had thrown her arms out, clutching his shoulder and the handle on the car door.
"Woah." She said, when Alec had regained control. "So it's true?"
"Wha – I don't - Where did you hear – Why would you think -"
His cheeks flamed red and he cursed his damnable lack of eloquence, his heart thumping as cold fear snaked into his veins.
"Alec." She said, her tone softer and more cautious. "It's ok. You like Magnus?"
He took a few deeps breaths, feeling strangely light headed and heavy at the same time.
"How did you know?" He whispered, staring straight at the road ahead. His knuckles were turning white as he gripped the steering wheel, wishing to any power that might be listening to be anywhere else.
She gave him a little smile, leaning forward into his line of sight.
"It's the way you look at him." She said thoughtfully. "Well, I never really noticed it before. But at lunch today, and yesterday – I thought maybe…"
He cursed under his breath. He knew he had let himself slip.
"And then Simon told me that you liked someone, and I put two and two together." She finished conversationally.
"Damn Simon! Fuck. Fuck." She looked amused as he swore, but he was too angry to care.
"Alec, relax. He has no idea it's Magnus. I don't think anyone else knows."
He sighed. "Izzy does." He said quietly.
Clary gasped in excitement, clapping her hands together. "Oh, yay! This is so exciting! We can both help you, if you'd like?"
"No…Clary, I'm not asking Magnus to the dance."
"Why not?" She frowned.
He signalled left, turning on to her road. He could honestly say that he'd never been so glad to pull up in front of her house. He turned to look at her expectantly as he cut the gas. She was frowning, doing that annoying thing where she bit her lip, gazing up at him with widened eyes. But he'd grown up with Izzy, and insusceptible to such expressions.
"Because." He sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "He doesn't think of me that way. We are friends. That's it. Ok?"
She paused, ignoring the tapping of his foot as he tried to subtly indicate that he had somewhere else to be.
"I think he does." She said finally, her eyes shining. Uh oh. He'd seen that look in Izzy's eyes too many a time before. "I think that if you asked him, he'd jump at the chance."
"I'm not asking him Clary. And I really have a lot of homework to be doing, so…"
She relented, opening the door and swinging her legs out.
"I really think he likes you, Alec," she looked back at him. "But you'll never know until you try!"
He closed his eyes in relief as she got out, waving goodbye to him.
He started the car again and set off home, wondering what he had done in a former life to warrant such bad karma.
Even worse, Clary had got him thinking again, along a line of thought he had only just managed to banish from his brain.
What if?
.
"What do you think, darling? Can I pull this one off?"
Magnus struck a ridiculously dramatic pose; throwing his head back, hands on his hips, wiggling suggestively.
Izzy laughed, clapping her hands.
"If anyone can, it's you, you poser!"
They were shopping in the mall that was situated just outside of Idris and Izzy had dragged Magnus into a store for formal wear, claiming that it was imperative they get started on their outfits for Homecoming.
They got together about once a week, just the two of them, since they were both crazy about fashion and make up and gossiping, all the things their other friends rolled their eyes at.
Alec had accompanied them on a few occasions before but had stopped after what he called the Sephora Incident; when they'd held him down and used him to try out all the products they were planning on buying.
It had taken him a week to get the glitter out of his hair.
Magnus and Izzy were the perfect shopping team, both as flamboyant and extravagant as the other.
Magnus was currently decked out in a ridiculous get-up that looked as though it had come straight out of the 19th century. It was complete with long coattails, a frilly vest and a top hat. It looked completely insane, but strangely enough, Magnus managed to make it look good.
He admired himself in the long mirror in their dressing room, turning this way and that, while Izzy nodded her approval.
"But you know…I think there's a little something else you could use…" She hopped up, poking her head outside the curtain to where the assistant stood in-between the store and the dressing rooms.
A few moments later she reappeared, a devilish look in her eyes and a bright green feather boa in her hands.
"Perfect." She claimed, as she swung it around his neck and stepped back to admire her handiwork.
He grinned, turning back to the mirror and blowing himself a kiss.
"You know," Magnus said, waving a hand to the curtain. "He thinks he's so smart but really, we could totally be hooking up in here." He winked at her.
Usually there was a strict policy about members of the opposite sex sharing dressing rooms but the sales assistant had taken one look at Magnus' bright pink vest top, his tight leather pants and glitter-covered eyes and not said a word as they'd slipped into the same cubicle.
Izzy smiled ruefully.
"I think he was just a little taken aback with how fabulous you are, darling. Besides, I rather think you'd prefer someone else to hook up with in here…"
He raised an eyebrow, not missing her double meaning. "Oh? And who might that be, Miss Lightwood? Pray, do enlighten me." He gave her a little bow, looking for all the world the perfect English gentleman – if not for the feather boa, of course.
She grinned, leaning back and crossing her legs.
"Don't think I haven't noticed you checking out my brother, Mr. Bane…"
His eyes widened momentarily, but then his usual smirk was back.
"I do think Clarissa would have something to say about it if I were eyeing up dear Jonathon. He is handsome, I grant you, if you're into the whole blonde, arrogant, incredibly irritating football jock thing, but…" He shrugged, waving a hand dismissively, showing that he was certainly notinto that kind of thing.
She smirked, not having missed his momentary hesitation.
"Magnus, shut up. You and Jace would be the worst, most incompatible couple to ever walk this planet. I am speaking, of course, about dear Alexander…"
His heart sped up but he didn't let it show, even as his muscles tensed.
"That's ridiculous." He said smoothly, turning away from her to slip his suit jacket off. "Alexander is my best friend."
"I don't hear you denying it though, Bane."
He ignored her, busying himself with replacing his outfit back onto its hangers, for once in his life at a loss for what to say.
She grinned, her eyes lighting up. His silence was all the answer she needed.
"So you dolike him!" She breathed, excitement evident in her tone.
"I didn't say that…" Magnus answered evasively, still refusing to look at her.
Damn. He'd been doing so well to hide it.
"Magnus." Her voice changed, and he took a deep breath before glancing up.
"Wow." She said, taking in his fearful expression. "You really do like him, don't you?"
He closed his eyes, willing himself not to blush.
"It is obvious?" He mumbled, fiddling with the bowtie around his neck. He hoped that the action masked the way his fingers were shaking.
She bit her lip.
"Not at all. Actually, it was only when you started dating Axel that I thought you might."
He looked up again, confused. "Axel? Why then?"
She smiled, shaking her head. "Come on Magnus. He could have been Alec's twin. You could have hidden it better."
He sighed. He had wondered if it had been a mistake to choose someone who looked so similar to the object of his affections. But nothing was going to happen with Alec, and he'd wanted so desperately to get those feelings out of his system, to replace them. But the whole time he'd been with Axel he'd just been reminded every moment of how he wasn'tAlexander. And how he could never replace him in Magnus' heart.
"I suppose." He acquiesced. "But it makes no difference. Alec is straight." He tried to sound nonchalant, but he knew that she heard the sadness in his voice. He coughed, stripping of the rest of the outfit and reaching for his own clothes.
"I think that's enough shopping for today. I'm kind of tired."
He avoided her gaze, not wanting to see the pity there. There was nothing she could do about it.
He didn't the conflict in her eyes, the pursing of her lips.
"You won't tell anyone, right?" He shimmied into his leather pants, twisting this way and that. He was skinny, but they were always a bitch to put on. Worth the result, though.
She froze behind him, her phone in her hands. "No, of course not!" It sounded fake, even to her, but Magnus decided he didn't care.
What did it matter if Alec found out? He was going to, eventually. Magnus was surprised he'd managed to keep his feelings a secret for so long already. Alec hadn't started dating yet, a fact that Magnus was immensely relieved by. But it was going to happen soon, especially with their friends so eager to find him a date for the dance.
He grimaced as he imagined having to meet a girl Alec was dating. To stand there while she held his hand, maybe even kissed him. And he would have to watch.
Yes, it was going to be very obvious very soon. He wouldn't be able to hide it any longer.