Chapter 4: Meeting

When I finally woke up, it was well into the afternoon, and my entire body was sore from last night's events, but I'm just happy it's over. I've heard of withdrawals lasting days on end, so I suppose I got off easy. I sit up and stretch my arms above my head, realizing just how much I was sweating last night. With a small laugh, I get up out of bed and head towards the shower, almost tripping on the sleeping Shinji on the floor. He must have stayed up all night to make sure I was okay… poor guy… I gotta make up what he did for me somehow.

I fold up his clothes and place them in the sink, realizing that there was a fresh pair already waiting for me on the counter. With a small smile, I enter the shower and, for the first time in quite awhile, really take care of myself with what he had available. I completely shampooed and conditioned my hair, washed every inch of my body, and shaved off any unwanted hairs. It felt good to be clean again, and I have to say, I don't look half bad considering what went on last night. I took my sweet time blow drying and styling my hair, and really, I would have put on a little make up if there was any. Finally, I threw on the clothes awaiting me and went into the kitchen. Not really knowing where anything was, it took me quite awhile, but I managed to get a pot of coffee brewing within the half hour.

"How you feeling?" I turn to see Shinji walking out of the room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"MUCH better, thank you," I really couldn't help but hug him. I have to say, I always thought that the drugs made everything better, but in reality, I haven't felt this good in ages, regardless of the fact that every muscle in my body hurts. Leaning back, I look up at him, "I made you some coffee, I hope you like it strong," we spent a good ten seconds in this position, neither of us realizing we were in each other's arms… that is, until the coffee timer went off, snapping us back to reality. We both pulled back quickly, embarrassed at the situation, "How do you take it?" the words came out quickly as I turned around, heading towards the machine.

"Black," his answer was just as quick as mine.

"Black? How can you take that? Way too bitter for me," I poured his coffee into the cup, tossing in an ice cube to cool it down, "Personally, I like it a little more sweet. Milk and sugar always do it for me, but the fancy creams are the best!"

"Oh, well then I'll be sure to pick some up today when I'm out. You need anything else?" I walk around the corner holding our drinks.

"You're leaving?" well duh, he's gotta pay for this place somehow.

"Yeah, unfortunately I'll be working pretty late tonight. I'll be back at around one, so you don't have to wait up tonight," he takes a sip of the coffee and quickly sets it down, "Oh yeah, here," he grabs something off the table behind him, which turned out to be a wallet, "I know you don't really have any other clothes, and I doubt you want to be walking around in my stuff all day," he hands me a gold card, "There's a mall about three blocks from here, just make a left when you get out of the house."

"Shinji… I can't take your money, I have no way of paying you back," I tried to pass the card back to him, but he just turns around and heads for his room.

"Don't worry about it, just keep it under twenty thousand," I can't believe what he just did for me…

A/N – 20,000 yen is about $200

"You know, I won't be a burden on you forever. I'm going to start looking for a job today," feeling slightly embarrassed, I tried to make up for my shortcomings.

"No you're not, you need to rest. Go to the mall, come back home, okay?" did he just say home? "You can look for a job next week if you want, but not today," if I want? What is he trying to say? I mean, I appreciate everything he's doing for me, but I don't like how he's acting we're engaged or something. Bringing a whore home doesn't mean free sex!

"Shinji," I was about to give him a piece or two of my mind, but he cut me off by opening the door from his room and walking towards me while tying his tie.

"Yeah?" I just gave a fake smile and shook my head, "Well, okay then, I'll see you later. Have a good day," and with that, he left me standing in the middle of the room holding his credit card.

Now just what am I supposed to do now? I mean sure, I'm SUPPOSED to go to the mall, but I feel bad doing it. I've never been one to take things for free, and this just feel wrong. I mean, there's nothing I could do to pay him back for what he's given me… and beyond that, I don't want to go out like this! I've never entered the outside world dressed this poorly, and even worse than that, my face looks like death froze over. Sure, I primped myself up quite a bit this morning, but there's only so much a girl can do with limited supplies. I've never been one to wear makeup, but right now, I need it. Maybe I'll just go out tomorrow in hopes that I'll be looking better by then…

"Yeah, that's for the best," I throw myself back onto the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as I let my head hang back over the sofa. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think I'd go out even if I was a modern day Aphrodite. Even though the worst of it is over, I can still feel my body struggling to the sudden change without some kind of drug. Even worse than that, I don't completely trust that I wouldn't go back to Dee once I leave this house… I've never needed a hit so bad in my life…

A thought that would disgust most people, I would like nothing more than to feel the warm black heroin travel up my arm… that feeling is amazing… stop it! Jesus, do you not remember what it does to you?! You used to be a proud strong girl, and now you're so low you'd lay any man for a hit! God only knows how polluted I've become! I'd honestly be amazed if I don't have some kind of disease!

"Not again," in a whining tone, I finally acknowledge that the fact that tears are running down either side of my face. I hate being in my own skin. It's too filthy in here… I wonder if I'll go back. I mean, sure, it's real cute to say that I never will, but what the reality? The fact of the matter is that I love the drugs, I'm not going to lie about that. Hell, if it wasn't for the payment process, I probably would have never left. However, there's no getting around it, it's my only way of paying my dues. I guess in retrospect, it really wasn't that bad until people I knew started showing up… but then what does that say about me? I'm just fine being a prostitute around strangers, but once people I know come into the picture, it's suddenly wrong and embarrassing?

What future do I have with him anyway? This isn't some fairy tale – Shinji can say whatever he wants, but I know he's disgusted with me. Why shouldn't he be? I mean, really, assuming we did kindle some sort of relationship, how far could that really go? We'd never be able to sleep together in fear I might have something, and even if we did, there's no way a baby could live with me. Plus, he probably has a girlfriend anyway… no way a guy like that is alone. I've finally stopped crying, but only because I've woken up from this dream. This was fun and all, seeing him again, but I just don't belong here. I mean really, no druggie has ever gone clean overnight and left the stuff for good. I'm only delaying the inevitable by staying here.

With my mind almost completely blank, I leave the credit card Shinji gave me on the sofa, walk towards the door, and leave the house, knowing consciously just how stupid what I was doing was. I was able to find my way back to Dee's through landmarks I knew I saw while at his place – I was never really one for directions, so I took quite awhile. Regardless, I made it there eventually, confident that this was going to be the last door I walk through, as there's really no reason for me to leave this place. The floor was still a complete wreak from the party a couple nights ago, but nothing so bad I couldn't walk through it. In my mind, I pictured Dee becoming absolutely furious with me when our eyes met, but in reality, he acted as if I didn't exist. I saw him in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette over the sink like he always does. I must have stood there staring at him for five minutes before he finally broke the silence.

"Not as glamorous as you thought it'd be, huh?" I just stay silent, hands laced behind my back. He turned his head to show a calm, yet somehow angry face, "What, I'm too low for you to talk to now? Is that it?" now his voice is gaining in power as he walks over to me, "Well let me tell you something," he grabs my wrist from be behind me, forcing me closer to him, "I haven't seen a whore as low as you in my life," still staying silent and looking at the floor, he only becomes more furious. I wanted to speak, I really did, but I knew anything I said would only make it worse, "Bitch, look at me when I'm talking to you!" with a quick motion, he slams the end of his cigarette into the fold on my arm. I bit down on my lip, as to not let out a scream, and look up at him through the tears. He face twists into a sadistic smile, "Much better. Now, start cleaning up. I hate it when this place is a mess," how was he so sure I was coming back? Maybe I was right, I do belong here…

"When… can I have…?" I just left it at that as I started picking up empty beer cans.

"Finish up around here and I'll see. You know, you really messed up the other night – because of you, some of my suppliers think I can't handle a simple whore, let alone my product," he lights up another cigarette, "That being said, you're not gonna get as many free-bees any more. Sure, the sex used to pay the bills for you, but I'm getting a little tired of… well, that," he points at my hips in a demeaning fashion, "But, that's not to say other people will be. After all, you are a cute girl, still a teenager, and quite exotic. A lot of guys like that, you know?" he can't be suggesting what I'm thinking… doing that in this house was bad enough, but…

"Is… there another way?" he just raised his eyebrows in pure surprise.

"Seriously? You're out for one night and you come back all pure?" I just continue to clean as he lets out a small laugh, "Fine, I'll tell you what," he walks past me and into the back room, coming out a few minutes later with a pre-filled syringe. He grabbed my wrist and made me straighten out my arm, "A little shot of this and you'll remember why you stayed," I yank my hand back from him, avoiding all eye contact while still holding an arm full of clothes in the other hand, "Oh yeah, that's right, you wanna stay pretty, don't you? Fine then," as he began to walk past me, he stabbed the needle into my back upper thigh, making me let out a small yell. I immediately took it out, instinctively looking at it to make sure it all went in.

A/N – Now really, who didn't see that coming? She was right though; once a druggie, always a druggie. Anyway, I'm glad that from the reviews I've gotten, you guys are enjoying it. I was actually a little worried that it was getting too boring with so little speech, but apparently that's just fine. Also, I've been meaning to say this, but I don't have a proofreader, so I apologize for any mistakes. Anyway, Asuka is back, and she's probably going to stay there after what she went through with that withdrawal last time. Will her knight in shining armor save or her dump her? Find out in the next chapter, Forceful; until then, keep on keepin' on!