AN: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. Please keep reviewing, it's great to know what you all think.

I got thoroughly overexcited by my idea for a story, and now it's getting towards the bits that matter, and I've realised issues. 1) Just to make sure everyone knows, I am aware all of this will become AU pretty much as soon as Brendan is back. 2) I hope Terry is more or less as he was, but my characterisation of him is based entirely on 3 Youtube clips I found, and 3) I realised we didn't even find out Brendan's Dad's name, let alone anything about him. I decided he was a certain way. I'm sure they won't go there in the soap, it just seemed to work. And provide plenty of drama.

So this is all supposition. I hope it's all the sort of supposition you can enjoy and forgive me for. I'm certainly enjoying writing it.

Thanks again!

It was pitch black when Ste woke up. The gentle motion and hum of the car must have lolled him to sleep. Well it was three in the morning now. He peered around, feeling the cling of the seat belt still across his chest,

He jumped a mile when the car's inside light popped on, Brendan's face loomed out of the darkness. His face was a blank mask. Ste looked at him expectantly.

"Well?" Ste demanded, "What do you want?"

Brendan looked at his lap, his hands fidgeting on the steering wheel.

"I thought…" he began, then changed tack. "We need to talk."

Ste snorted. That was an understatement.

"Will ye… can we?" Brendan looked across at him.

Ste turned in his seat to face him fully. "Go on then." His voice was high, attacking. It made Brendan halt again. Ste sighed, sitting back into his seat again. The silence hung between them and stretched out.

"I'm sorry."

It was so quiet, Ste wasn't certain he'd heard it. Every time he heard those words from Brendan, his heart gave a little flutter. It reminded him that Brendan had come such a long way. He remembered those times Brendan had managed to make Ste apologise for the beatings. That was progress wasn't it?

But it wasn't enough. He'd apologised before.

"You've said that before," Ste managed.

Brendan was quiet, but Ste saw his head duck. The move turned into a nod.

Ste continued. "What do you want to happen next Brendan?"

The Irish man stayed silent.

"Because I don't think you know."

Brendan grunted.

Ste sighed. "You're a just a coward" he finished and looked out of the window, wondering briefly where they were. Brendan's voice cut through his musings.

"You're right." His voice was husky, low, quiet. "I am scared. But I know… I know I want you."

Ste felt the tug towards Brendan again. But he'd heard that before too. Brendan continued.

"I love you."

"But… you don't want to be with me do you? Not properly, not where people can see, where you can't deny it."

There was a pause. Ste felt the grim satisfaction. This was going to go round in circles again, like it always had. Maybe they'd both listen properly this time.

"I do."

Ste wasn't certain he'd heard that. "What?" he asked.

Brendan let out an unsteady breath.

"I do want to be with you, properly, where people can see."

Ste studied his face, waiting for the next excuse. "But…" he prompted.

"I need to…." Brendan stopped again. He fidgeted with the steering wheel again, and Ste realised it was nerves. Suddenly his voice changed, became accusatory. "You betrayed me Stephen!"

The change in subject took Ste by surprise. "You what?"

Brendan's face had turned, approaching some of his angriest looks. "You just believed I did it. You never asked me, you never thought twice, you just…" he seemed too angry to carry on this time. Ste panicked, his hand going for the door, forgetting the seatbelt. Brendan didn't though, he put his hand over the catch, so Ste couldn't undo it, his other reaching for Ste's face, taking hold with a strong grip. Ste closed his eyes, bracing himself for the beating he was sure to expect. The tears of his own shame wet his eyes in anticipation of what was to come – he'd done it again, put himself in this man's power.

No beating came.

When Ste opened his eyes again, he saw that Brendan had moved closer, still holding Ste's face, but having let go of the seat belt. He took up Ste's right hand in his. "Tell me why." He said. "How could you think I would do that?"

Ste wasn't sure how to answer that without making Brendan angry. There was no escape from the car unless Brendan let him go. Maybe he could force the grip off, scratch the hand until Brendan let go? But Ste couldn't start the violence now. That would be a move in completely the wrong direction. He decided honesty was best.

"Cos I've seen you when you're angry," he said, "and I know how much you love your kids, that you'd give anything for them not to know. And you tried to hurt Rae before." Brendan deflated before his eyes, let go, sat back, but Ste couldn't stop now – all this needed to be said. "And all them times you threatened Amy, she was so scared of ya. And… and I know you can… I know you killed someone. It's not like I can say you don't hurt people, is it?"

"Enough." Brendan's voice was exhausted. "I've never hurt a woman."

"What about what Mal said? Was that true?"

"What? Where did that come from?"

"Well, Cheryl didn't fall out with you 'cos you were gay, did she?"

Brendan rubbed his face with his hands.

"Did you hurt Cheryl?" Ste asked quietly.

"I didn't know it was her."

Ste took a shaky breath. "I think you should take me home now, Brendan."

"No."

"Brendan…"

"I can't just…"

"I'll walk then."

Ste got his seatbelt undone this time and threw open the door.

From the faint glow of the car's inside light, Ste could make out trees and grass. They were somewhere in the country side then, but he could hear a road not far off. He started towards the sound.

Of course Brendan is not known for being slow. He overtook Ste in seconds, and had grabbed him and pushed him back against the car bonnet before Ste could react. Ste found himself almost lying back against the car, his feet barely touching the ground, and Brendan's hands holding his arms at his side, the Irishman's face wild and too close.

The thrill of panic rushed through him, frustratingly accompanied by the thrill of something else. "Get off me!" he demanded, struggling, though Brendan was holding him bodily where he was.

"I can't!" Brendan's eyes were wet now.

"Just let go!"

"Stephen, I can't! I physically can't! I need you, I love you!" Ste managed to get an arm free, but Brendan just grabbed it again, getting in closer, pushing both Ste's arms over his head, "I cannot stay away from ye. I've tried, but I can't. Prison nearly killed me, Stephen, because I couldn't get near you. I can't leave you alone, I can't leave you, I cannot live without you!"

Ste's struggles slowed to a stop. For a while only the sound of the breathing could be heard. Eventually Ste said "So…"

Brendan breathed into his face.

"So?"

"So what happens now?" asked Ste.

Brendan's expression softened. His face moved closer and closer to Ste's, drawn together like they always were. Ste knew he should fight, run, get as far away from Brendan as he could, but he felt the same way. He'd never been able to resist Brendan, not really. And Brendan's body was so close, his face so near, Ste could just…

He started the kiss.

In the darkness, on the bonnet of Brendan's car, they came to the agreement. Neither could have told you what that agreement was though.

…

Amy would describe her emotions the following morning as closer to annoyed than worried. Though it wasn't common for Ste not to get home until the morning, it had happened before. She didn't really mind what he did with his private life anymore, it wasn't her business, but she did expect a word from him, after all, the kids would ask where Daddy was, and she needed to arrange childcare around him.

She put the kids in front of the telly, with their breakfasts of toast and jam, spread thinly to minimise the mess. She hoped Little Robots was enough to keep their attention from the phone call she was about to make.

The phone didn't ring, it went straight to voicemail.

"Stephen Hay, if you're going to be a dirty stop out, that's your business, but if I don't hear from you soon, I'm going to have your balls for earrings. What do you expect me to do with the kids today? Where have you been? Call me! Now!"

She hung up, then went to get herself ready for the day, and to dig out the clothes the kids would need. She had just dragged Lucas far enough from the TV for him to help rather than hinder his own dressing when she finally heard the door. She stood up, ready to scold, accidently letting Lucas run back to the TV.

"Will you turn your phone on?" She realised that wasn't much of a greeting, but didn't care, "Where have you been?"

Ste went straight to the kitchen, and put the kettle on. "Brendan kidnapped me."

Amy's mouth dropped. "He did what?"

Ste rubbed his eyes. "He wanted to talk."

Amy didn't know what to make of that. "What happened?" she asked.

"We talked."

Amy rolled her eyes. "And…?"

"And what?" Ste busied himself finding cups and tea bags.

"What happened?" asked Amy, again.

"I told ye…"

"But what did you decide?"

Ste flopped against a counter. "I don't know. It's not over though. We realised that."

Amy sighed. Was that progress? She didn't know what progress she really wanted for them now.

…..

Cheryl was making a fry up when Brendan strolled through the door.

"Here he is, the dirty stop out. Where've you been, hey?"

Brendan grunted, and strolled towards his bedroom.

"Brendan Brady!" cried Cheryl, "you stop right there!"

Brendan grunted again.

"Was it Ste?" she asked, trying to hide the hope.

Brendan hesitated before replying. "Yeah."

"Oooh, so what happened? Did you forgive him for not believing you? Did he forgive you for … everything?" she giggled. "If you weren't my brother I'd be desperate to know who was on top."

Brendan grunted again. "I'd hope the latter would be obvious."

Cheryl gasped. "So, you're back together?"

"Sort of, Chez, just leave it, yeah? It's going to take time."

"Oh, you're no fun" she joked. "But I've got a great surprise for you!"

Brendan looked at her fully.

She grinned.