Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?
Chapter 4:
The village of Konohagakure no Sato was enjoying yet another day of peace and solitude. For years there had been a lack of explosions, chases, and all-around noise that had been commonplace for as long as some could remember. A small bluebird went about its business on one of the electricity poles, preening its feathery wing in the slight breeze. As its self-cleaning came to an end the animal took to the sky and sailed a short distance before alighting upon the windowsill of a large building with a rounded roof. Its neck moved every which way to take in all the sights and sounds from its vantage point. No predators...so far, so good.
A faint tap made it hop before settling down once no danger made itself present. Once more its head twisted upwards before the glass behind it shattered like cheap porcelain and exploded outwards like a point-blank bomb blast. A large missile connected with the avian and at the speed and power it was going, the kinetic force actually caused the bird to explode into nothing more than a repressed squawk and bloody mist. The 'missile' turned out to actually be a couch, thrown from inside the building before arcing off far into the distance and slamming into the middle of the clan district's wide roadway. Luckily no one was hurt as those in the area took immediate cover when the window of the Hokage's office burst in a shower of glassy shards and someone raised the alert to hide.
With their leader's volatile temper there had been emergency actions set in place to lower both collateral and bodily damage in case of emergency.
Inside of the tower stood one busty blonde in pigtails who wore a long green coat, blue pants, black shinobi heels, and a grey sleeveless top. She dusted off her hands with a self-satisfied smirk on her beautiful face and an air of self-satisfaction. Tsunade Senju, the Fifth (and very first female) Hokage, Slug Summoner, World's Greatest Medic, Legendary Sucker, etc. had just finished reading the report sent to her by her former teammate Jiraiya and the ensuing chaos was to all be blamed upon him. Oh, things had originally started on a more chipper note that day before the inevitable eruption. But it all went downhill once the messenger appeared.
Kosuke, a young amphibian with red skin, blue markings on his head, and a pair of goggles looped around his neck had originally puffed into existence on top of the Hokage's antique wooden desk with a scroll clutched in his webbed hands. Upon knowing it was from the toad sennin, the woman had called in her assistant, apprentice, and confidant Shizune. The black-haired, black-heeled, black kimono-with-fishnet-wearing young woman was ecstatic when she learned that their wayward 'family' had finally sent them word after a long period of absolutely nothing. The female Godaime felt the exact same way and had unraveled the scroll as though it was a revered treasure map after sending her personal ANBU members away for a bit of privacy.
Then they read it.
Big mistake.
As the duo skimmed across the male's report the atmosphere in the room continuously dropped until it became something downright frigid. Shizune could literally feel her master's dangerous mood and edged away upon finishing the note, silently vowing that both Naruto and Jiraiya had obviously discussed the consequences of their actions at length because whenever they returned Tsunade was going to kill them. Completely left the Elemental Nations? No one did that. Ever. It didn't matter they were out of the Akatsuki's reach. It was foolhardy and dangerous. Then again…those two words brought the toad summoning duo to mind so maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she originally thought.
With a twitch of her fingers, Tsunade tore the scroll in half after rolling it back up and looping it together by its attached rope binding. The woman was already channeling her chakra finesse to initiate her super strength technique but sadly there was no one around she could mercilessly beat down to rid mind and body of the mounting aggression and stress. Shizune would never be the one to bear the blonde's wrath and that left the medic low on options.
That is, until her eyes settled upon the couch tucked away near the doorway. With a demented grin she stalked forward, pointing at it while quietly marking the sitting device as her unfortunate victim. The couch soon found itself weightless as it was lifted into the air by its armrest, Tsunade holding it effortlessly with one manicured hand. Pulling back, she held her other arm forward as a way of targeting and took a few quick steps forward to add some weight behind her throw. With a tremendous yell the sofa was shot-put out the clear barrier at an incredible speed.
If only Shizune hadn't cowered…perhaps she could have spared the window such a fate by opening it first.
Panting with self-righteous resolve Tsunade placed her hands on her hips and stood a bit taller. "Shizune! Contact the window repairman! It's about time he got some business from us again. Also…make a memo for me…we'll need to see how tall Naruto's gotten when he finally returns so we can make a proper casket."
"T-Tsunade-sama!"
"What? You think I'm just gonna let this go now that I've already sent my couch to the other side of the village? I specifically told them to get their asses back here once their time was up and instead they're out living it up beyond our reach. Jiraiya told me the deadline and that they would be back here in the upcoming months. Akatsuki's close to mobilizing and they're going to be stalking the remaining jinchuriki. That means instead of being in our borders when those bastards begin the hunt, those idiots'll have to pass through all the surrounding nations just to get back here. Even with the old pervert as a bodyguard there's still the chance he could be captured. Oh, I am so going to find the rustiest, dullest kunai I can find and cut his shriveled old balls off!"
Shizune was horrified.
From outside, a small pattering could be heard coming from the hallway before three loud knocks echoed throughout the room. Clearing her throat the woman sat back at her desk and fixed her hair for any strands that may have found freedom before allowing the guest access. Being granted entry, in walked a young woman with short pink hair down to her chin and held back by a red hitai-ate, bright green eyes, and an anxious smile on her face. The girl had on a sleeveless red top above her small chest, knee-high black shinobi sandals/boots with elevated heels, black skintight shorts with her weapons pouch attached to her right thigh, a short pink apron-skirt, and pink elbow protectors.
Her eyes quirked at the now missing couch and gaping hole in the wall but shook her head nonetheless, scanning the room for something before frowning and turning back towards her leader when she couldn't find what she had been searching for. "Seeing you destroy part of your office I figured Naruto was back from his trip with Jiraiya-sama and did something stupid…but I guess I was wrong?" Wrong wasn't the half of it, and Tsunade actually released an unladylike grunt before motioning with her hand.
"Just venting a bit after reading the latest report from my dear soon-to-be deceased teammate. Besides, those two wouldn't have been back for a few more months Sakura." Tsunade's second student after Shizune, the newly named Sakura Haruno scratched at her cheek and shrugged, giving a greeting towards Shizune as she walked further into the room. Yes, this was the 'Sakura-chan' Naruto would speak of fondly. His fellow squad member on Team Seven, friend, and the girl Lala was technically competing with for the blond's emotions.
"What made you so angry as to relocate your couch into the clan district?"
"Just that those two fools are so far away it's anyone's guess as to when they'll return. All for the sake of Naruto's schooling…while I have no qualms about that, they could have at least done that closer to home."
"Naruto's…schooling? As in him going to school, sitting in the classroom, and being expected to learn?" A nod from her teacher made the girl actually laugh until she noticed the serious expression on both of the other female's faces, prompting her to stop. Wiping at her eye Sakura leaned forward in curiosity. "You're actually serious? Jiraiya-sama actually got that knucklehead to stay still long enough to go to class? Wow…he should have been here when we were younger. Naruto might have actually learned more at the academy and saved Iruka-sensei a lot of grief if that was the case."
"All I know is they're both getting the beating of a lifetime when they get their asses back here…whenever that is."
"Isn't there at least an estimate as to when?"
"He put 'later-ish'." Sakura pursed her lips at the extremely vague answer. She missed her teammate and his outrageous way of living. Things had actually been boring around there for the past few years and it was due to a lack of exuberant blond in blinding orange. Oh sure, Konohamaru Sarutobi had tried to emulate his 'boss' and pull off a bunch of pranks with his friends-turned-genin teammates Udon and Moegi but they lacked the pizzazz and oomph that were associated with Naruto's former tricky deals.
"I hope it's not too far in the future. Poor Hinata's been down in the dumps the whole time he's been absent and while it hasn't affected her missions or training, it's been messing highly with her personal life." The Hokage looked at her apprentice with a stale glare before shrugging and leaning back in her seat. It was true about the Hyuuga princess but as long as it didn't influence the happenings of the village then it wasn't exactly Tsunade's problem. At least not until someone finally complained about it.
A new miniature explosion on top of the desk caused all three trained kunoichi to tense up for any sign of an attack. As the smoke cleared away in the nonexistent breeze it dissipated to once again reveal Kosuke with yet another scroll grasped within his webbed fingers. Before the small toad could even speak a hand wound itself around his throat and lifted the unlucky amphibian off of the wood, dangling him painfully in the air. Allowing the toad just enough oxygen to stay conscious, Tsunade moved her head forward to glare icily into the little animal's bar-like pupils with unveiled ire.
"Back again, are we?"
"C-c'mon…lady!...why…ar-*cough*-are you t-t-trying to k-kill me?"
"You better have some good news in that parchment, frog. And why are you back so soon? I didn't expect that pervert to send another message in the same day." The toad was too scared to even become incensed at the crack at his species, still trying to draw enough breath into his size-appropriate lungs. Clawing at the digits digging into his moist skin, the toad finally was able to free himself and drop onto the table, gasping for air.
"Look…I'm just the messenger…I don't -*cough*- know what's inside. As for why there's another…I've actually had the first message for awhile now. Jiraiya just told me to deliver it a few days after it came into my custody. Something about it…not being too important. He looked on edge when he gave it to me though."
'Probably because he knew how pissed I'd get.'
"As for this one, I just got it. This time he looked like he was trying not to laugh or something. I don't know why…but there was another person there besides Jiraiya and Naruto. Some girl with pink hair and she seemed like she was hanging all over the younger boy." Immediately those present looked at Sakura, who returned their stares with confusion.
"What? Obviously it's not me and I wouldn't do that regardless."
"Give me the scroll. Now." Kosuke wasted no time handing over the item before disappearing back to his own home dimension. Whatever Jiraiya was playing at, it didn't warrant the red toad being injured in the process. Next time someone else was taking the damn messages instead.
The Senju tore open the paper's seal without ceremony and unfurled it, making sure every word was present at once. A photograph nestled within slipped from its place and glided airily towards the floor. As Tsunade committed the message to memory, Sakura picked up the wayward picture and gasped at the pink and green so similar to her own. "W-what the hell is this? She looks just like me with longer hair!" She failed to voice that it also was a curvier and possibly prettier version of her but hey, they didn't need to hear that.
"That's not the half of it..." Tsunade groaned and threw her hands in the air before burying her face in her arms. "That's it…neither of them are allowed to leave the village ever again! Especially Naruto! I'm locking him up and throwing away the key!"
"Tsunade-sama…?"
What could have been in the second message that made her so irritated?
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"So you're saying there's this big fox monster inside of you?"
"Yup."
"And under certain conditions it can take over, making you act more like a miniature fox monster?"
"The more power I use, the more I lose myself."
"…so you get stronger, really? I don't see the problem."
Naruto blinked. Then he blinked again. Then the blond put a finger in each ear and scrubbed vigorously, making sure the canals were squeaky clean. Finding nothing clogging his hearing, the boy had obviously heard her correctly and therefore Lala had indeed said what he thought she said.
"Okay, one more time…because I'm not following."
The pinkette giggled at his purely dumbfounded expression and shook her head. "Papa can destroy whole planets easily but I'm not afraid of him."
"…he's your dad so why would you be afraid?"
"What I mean is that even though he has so much power, he can still control it all without hurting those close to him."
"…oh."
"And you're not trying to kill me, and haven't ever since you met me so I don't believe you're anything like this demon you told me about. Also you haven't acted like a mindless beast either."
"Nothing's pissed me off yet to make me lose control. Just annoyed me a bit."
Lala stood from her sitting spot on top of Naruto's bed and moved in front of him, smiling at the ninja in question. And people called her naive. Well it was true but with her personality it made her seem like an innocent child that simply grew too quickly. The alien was actually a genius and could be very intellectual when she wanted to be, usually only showing such ingenuity with her inventions or work. It didn't mean that she didn't know how to make a point though.
"You're in control right now, aren't you?" she added, poking him in the chest. "You're controlling this separate, crazy power inside of you and because of that I see no problem with my future husband. In fact, daddy might like you more because of it. I see you as just Naruto."
"So you really have no problem with me having a demon stuck inside of me?" Lala shook her head 'no' as Naruto gently grabbed the hand still poking him. A feminine head cocked to the side as the boy simply stared at her appendage before sighing and letting it drop. She was unsure what just went through his head but hoped it was at least something positive.
"Why couldn't the villagers back home be as understanding as you?" The sentence was low, melancholic. Lala didn't like the frown on his face. Shouldn't this have been some sort of happy moment?
"What do you mean?"
Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and moved over to his dresser drawer, withdrawing a long piece of cloth tucked away in his fingers. Springs groaned in protest as the blond dropped onto his mattress and motioned her over. Lala complied, eyes never leaving the fabric he was holding until he lifted the object and tied it around his head. It was long and black, and directly in the center of his forehead was a worn metal plate with a figure etched into the steel.
"This right here? It signifies that I'm a true shinobi of Konoha. That I passed the academy and in the eyes of our village, I'm classified as an adult and a warrior. A protector of my home…but even then, no one saw it as that for me." The jinchuriki almost sighed at feeling the familiar weight on his face. Boy, he missed it. "For as long as I can remember I've always been alone. I never knew my mom and dad. People hated me but I never knew why. Parents would tell their kids to stay away from me and adults would yell at me or get me in trouble, blaming me for things I never did or outright ignoring me. I took to pulling pranks and wearing bright colors just to get noticed. But the only ones who ever really did on a personal level was our leader, one of my teachers, and the family that ran the ramen stand."
Lala was paying rapt attention, eager to learn about her fiancé's past. The most she knew was he was a ninja and an orphan. That's it. And the lecture before was of him simply telling her about the powerful force that was sealed within him. But as she continued to listen the Devilukan found herself sporting a frown that was growing deeper and deeper as more time passed on by. No wonder he was so adamant about her returning to her family when they first met. He was an orphan while she still had her father, two younger sisters, and technically the whole of Planet Deviluke.
At least she could change that when they were married.
Risa apparently liked him…maybe. The girl acted dodgy the other day and Lala couldn't get a read on what was the truth. Maybe they could gang up on him or something sometime? The more the merrier? Clearly the pinkette didn't actually understand how marriage truly worked, being surrounded by all the monarchy and upper class that were usually involved with more than one person at a time. All but her father, but the king wasn't exactly in a pleasant enough state to entertain concubines or mistresses currently. All he ever had was Lala's deceased mother.
Such twisted logic, but in her mind it was perfectly A-OK.
"But I kept going forward, doing my best to be noticed and become strong. My dream is to become the Hokage which is the leader of my village. If I was able to earn that position then everyone would have to know who I am no matter what. So I worked hard but I was the last in my class for grades. I just couldn't seem to get myself to care about history when that's not going to help me dodge an opponent's attack in battle. The other kids would make fun of me because I wasn't smart and failed pretty much everything. It didn't help that I was usually paired up against the kids with the highest grades or my tests were rigged by a teacher." He thought of Mizuki, which caused him to click his tongue and forge on ahead to the night that changed his life.
"Then came graduation. I had already failed twice and if I messed up again I couldn't become a ninja because of the law. I did everything I could to pass but near the end of the exam I was asked to show off my worst technique…clones."
"But-"
"Regular clones. Not the solid ones you've seen me use. These ones aren't solid and take a very small amount of chakra. Since my chakra levels are off the charts, even if I had perfect control I still would overload the technique and fail. So naturally…I did. More things happened and I found myself in the middle of the forest with the village's forbidden scroll, a large amount of special ninja moves that only those who were high level could hope to learn. If I could figure one of them out I could become a ninja! It was, of course, a lie and the man who told me that was only trying to get me in trouble while either killing me in the process or just stealing the scroll and running away. Long story short I learned the kage bunshin, beat up a traitor, earned my spot in the shinobi ranks, and finally learned why I was hated and alone for the first thirteen years of my life. Now that was a shock…"
He grunted when a weight suddenly impacted with his chest as Lala attached herself to him in yet another hug. "You're not going to be alone anymore, ever! Not if I have anything to say about it, which I do!"
"Uh…thanks, Lala-chan. Really. I'm…really glad to have met you, ya know? But don't worry, things got better. Even with the villagers acting like I was a plague on their home there were now new people I could really rely on. The only problem I see is when the day comes where they learn about the Kyuubi…I wonder if they'll still care about me after that."
Lala hummed, never releasing her hold on him as the boy dropped off into his own thoughts. Did it really matter though? Naruto would be going with her back to Deviluke since he'd become the new King of the Galaxy after her father abdicated and named him the heir. He'd have a whole planet of people who cared for him then!
"Don't worry about them right now. You're too antsy and I don't like that. Luckily I know the perfect way to cheer you up!" She jumped over to the doorway with a ruffle of her skirt and ran outside, leaving a confused yet curious shinobi in her wake. Naruto could hear scuffling coming from the hallway as the pretty little princess did…whatever she was doing out there. She skipped back into the room with towel in hand, grinning widely before saying the one thing the blond wasn't expecting her to just spout off willy-nilly. "Let's take a bath together!"
If he had been drinking something, the spit-take would have been epic.
"WHAT?" The blood rocketed towards his face as Lala stood there oblivious to his discomfort. Did she not realize how embarrassing that was? Or how it had been the first time they ever met? "Why are you asking me that?" The inventor blinked quickly before tapping her cheek as though it was no big deal. Seriously, she didn't see the problem.
"Well, I always feel better after a bath and you're feeling sad. I want to make you feel better so let's go!" The unnerved boy was swiftly grabbed and pushed out his room and towards the bathroom before his mind finally rebooted and he slammed on the breaks. Since Lala wasn't using any of her monstrous alien strength at the time, the stop caused her to run smack dab into his back and rub at her face with a small pout. Why did he stop? He made her hurt her nose!
"I-I-I can't do that! You're a girl and I'm a boy!"
"So? I don't feel comfortable bathing alone. I always had a lot of maids with me whenever I bathed back home." That seemed to explain why she was so comfortable in the nude though…
"Lala-sama is only trying to help you, Naruto-dono."
…fuck. She was looking at him with those damn beautiful eyes he was used to seeing on another equally pink-haired woman. Mentally whining like crazy, the boy quickly made a clone and had him go downstairs to update Jiraiya and keep him occupied for the time being. No way in hell was that pervert going to find out what Naruto was about to do. Lala was a rather innocent girl and he figured nothing explicit was going to happen but that didn't mean his godfather would make the situation grow totally out of hand.
"Fine. I'll do it. Just…make sure you don't flash me or something."
"Yay!" The alien once again began pushing the now slightly distraught boy towards the bathroom. As soon as they were in Peke disengaged from her creator and flew off back towards the pinkette's room. Though the robot was water resistant, that still didn't mean she enjoyed getting her circuits wet if possible. It wasn't too long before the little creation heard the shouts of their blond landlord yelling something unintelligible about Lala as said girl's joyful laughter filled the air. By the sounds of it she had tried to wash his back and Naruto freaked out. Earthlings were so frivolous. But…Lala's plan had worked.
Naruto was no longer down in the dumps, his mind now more focused on the mortifying present.
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"On your mark…"
Muscles tensed as they readied to spring into action.
"Get set…"
A pink tongue poked out from between barely clenched teeth to wet the lips. The air was filled with the sharp crack of a racing gun as it fired, announcing to Lala she could finally begin running. Barely half a second after the firearm shot into the air she took off at a speed no normal person could achieve. The teacher's assistant stared in shock at her stopwatch while the rest of the females in their gym class had their eyes glued on Lala. The alien now wore red short-shorts and a white t-shirt with red trim to mirror the gym uniforms the other females wore, rocketing down the strip before sliding to a halt at the finish line with nary a lack of breath. Just another dress option now stored inside Peke's memory banks.
"Lala-sama, I believe you should hold back more with your power." The alien princess pouted slightly and began walking back towards the others to collect he time. Off in the distance the teacher Sasuga was acting as if he was merely watching the whole proceedings but upon closer inspection his eyes were solely focused upon the pink-haired wonder girl. With a small smirk the man turned and continued coaching the males currently busy with their own gym activities.
As the girl moved back towards her friends, Risa tried to get Haruna's attention but the teenager had zoned out while watching the boys play soccer at the other side of the field. Rito was currently dribbling the ball down the length of the green while Saruyama was off on the sidelines waiting for his turn. Somehow Naruto had been saddled with the goalie position and was bored out of his mind waiting for something to happen. Unknown to the raven-haired girl, Risa and Mio had snuck up behind her as she remained unaware and before she knew it they lunged.
Haruna let out a cute squeak as feminine hands enclosed around her still growing bosom and began tweaking and rubbing. "Haruna baby, you in there? Your boobs are small and cute as usual!" Sairenji was able to pull away with a blush blossoming on her face and arms crossed over her chest while her two friends looked on with matching smirks. Why couldn't they ever keep their hands to themselves? Not even being in public kept people safe from their grabby fingers.
"She's been so quiet…maybe she's in love?"
"I bet it's Sasuga-sensei! He is pretty hot, you know!" Haruna tried to deny such a thing but the two girls were already on a roll. They didn't stop even as Lala moved over and joined them, eyes watching curiously as the duo dropped off into a dreamland that no other person should ever enter. A shout grabbed Lala's attention and she turned to see the male half of her new friends playing something completely different and her quick intake of breath showed she clearly liked what she saw.
"Oh wow, what game is that?"
Haruna, thankful for the distraction, decided to indulge the girl. "It's called soccer. Players on each team can use any part of their body except their arms to move the ball and try to get it inside the opposing team's net. But…you've never seen the sport before?"
"Nope!"
"She's foreign, remember? Probably plays some sport that we'd think is weird. Besides, Lala-chii probably had no time to play such things before."
"Still…"
"What's Naruto-kun doing?"
"Oh? He's the goalie." Risa stood next to Lala with a frown, arms crossed under her bust as she watched the blond stick out his arm and block a shot. "They can use any body part to stop the ball and keep people from scoring. I'm disappointed he's the goalkeeper though…I mean, he's barely moving. How can I see him get all hot and sweaty if he just stands there the whole time?" Mio nodded along with the brunette's observation as the third Earthling looked dryly at the two and shook her head. The alien continued to watch as her fiancé stopped a few more wayward shots when the bell finally rang, signifying the class was over for the day. Sasuga called it and sent everyone on their way but the man was quickly surrounded by girls asking to eat lunch with him. The teacher politely declined them all and when they mass of estrogen finally dispersed he raised his voice just loud enough to catch three specific girls' attention.
"Oh Sairenji, Momioka, Sawada…may I speak to you for a moment?" Mio and Risa's eyes lit up at the idea of conversing with the attractive teacher but Haruna could only wonder what he wanted. It was lunch time and she still had to change and go back up to the classroom to get her food. As they moved off towards the tennis club room she couldn't help but feel as though something was off with the whole situation.
Oh how right she was.
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"Huh…Haruna, Mio, and Risa are missing. That's odd."
"They didn't come back to the classroom?"
"Not that I know of."
"Actually I saw them walking towards the clubroom with Sasuga-sensei."
"All three of them? No way! Do you think he was going to ask one of them out?"
"Then why would he need all three? If one turned him down was he going to go straight to another? That's so rude!"
From his seat at his desk Rito was listening in on the conversations going on around the room while he slowly ate his lunch. As soon as he heard the name 'Haruna' his ears focused in on that certain group and honestly he didn't like what he heard. Sasuga was talking privately with her? But…but…gah! Never mind that the other two females were there too. The orange-haired teen persisted with his silent stewing, even as Lala pierced through the boredom situated with lunch by loudly propositioning the meal and nearly jumping Naruto in his seat as she joined him.
He began speaking to her in hushed whispers to try and calm her, somehow maintaining eye contact with her despite the massive reddening of his cheeks. He couldn't get last night out of his head when the pinkette attempted to wash his back, which he had allowed, until she had inched closer to help clean him better and inadvertently pressed her breasts against his skin. As he jumped he knocked the soap out of her hands which caused her to chase after it, obviously showing off more of herself than Naruto was comfortable with. Then she tried to help wash the rest of him which turned into a chase around the bathroom until finally he got her to back off by requesting to wash her own back. Things calmed and the night went on normally, with the whole fiasco somehow staying under Jiraiya's radar thanks to the help of his clone. He was heavily thinking about sticking to showers from then on. The ninja was able to keep his embarrassment to a minimum despite Lala's no-care attitude towards her nudity…
Until he woke up.
Seriously. He double-checked the locks on his doors and windows. How the hell did she and Peke keep getting in? It was something that plagued his thoughts even as the duo was seated at his seat while eating their respective meals. Lala was very exuberant about the food packed away inside her bag, especially with the fact that Naruto himself had made it for her. He usually made his own which wasn't too hard but now there was another person he had to take care of. That involved making twice as much food and escaping with it intact before Jiraiya sniffed it out like a bloodhound and tried to scarf it down himself.
Damn bastard…make your own breakfast.
A buzzing in his pocket caused Naruto to reach in and dug out the vibrating electronic device nestled within. Lala watched silently as the boy struggled to remember how to answer the phone before the proverbial light bulb went off over his head and he remembered which button allowed him to talk. Since it was lunchtime and therefore a free period, doing something such as speaking on a cell phone wasn't against the rules. Unless someone like that Kotegawa girl saw him doing it though…
The caller ID and picture revealed Risa to be the one on the opposite end of the line, and after pressing down the button he placed the phone against his ear. "Hello? Risa-chan? Did something happen?"
"...Hello, Naruto Uzumaki."
"Who the hell are you, why are you talking on my friend's phone thingy, and how do you know my name?"
"My, my…so many questions without missing a beat. All will be answered in due time. After all, you and I have a common interest. Say…the princess of Planet Deviluke? I would like to see you immediately. If you don't, however…well…let's just say something unfortunate may befall your classmates." The grip on Naruto's phone tightened as he could nearly picture the glee on the mystery caller's face. However, he didn't want to make a scene and swallowed the anger he was feeling. For now. Plenty of time later to punch this bastard's teeth in.
"Fine. Where at?"
"The sports equipment shed. Now. And for a little incentive…" The call immediately cut off causing the ninja to screw up his eyes in confusion. What the hell did that mean? The voice sounded familiar too but he just couldn't place it at the moment. The item suddenly shook again, signifying he had a new text message. He was able to get it open only to recoil slightly at the picture within. It was of Haruna, Risa, and Mio, all unconscious by the looks of it, and strung up like dolls by some sort of organic rope. The chopsticks in his other hand cracked in half at the sight. Was this one of Lala's marriage candidates that both she and the king mentioned would try to take her away? Besides the fact the Earth would be destroyed if he failed, this guy did a major no-no in his book:
He messed with Naruto's friends/precious people.
"Aiya? Are you okay, Naruto? Who called you?" The boy blinked and looked at his housemate who was staring back at him and his hand worriedly. A nervous chuckle escaped his lips as he wiped away the mess in his palm, sliding the phone back into his pocket without looking. Squinting his eyes and giving her a grin Naruto shook his head in a dismissing way. It was time to make something up. He couldn't exactly tell her what just happened. Knowing Lala, she'd want to go and save them with her gadgets and likely expose the two of them in the process. While noble, there was also the possibility the other alien could just kidnap her instead. Another thing he couldn't let happen.
"Just Ero-sennin messing with me, making me somehow think Risa was calling." She took in a quick breath and giggled, imaging the older man sitting in his chair back at the house while trying to disguise his voice to sound feminine. That thought alone had sent her into a spiel of laughter, finding it simply too hilarious but knowing it could be a possibility after spending time with the two males.
"Ero-sennin-san is so funny sometimes!"
Naruto opened his eyes but couldn't stop them from eventually drooping, falling into a rather deadpan stare as he thought about his teacher. "Yeah, he's a real comedian alright." he added blandly though Lala took no notice. The girl was still innocently joking about the pervert but finally stopped when Naruto's chair screeched as he stood up.
"Something wrong?"
"Oh, uh…I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom. Make sure no one takes my food, okay Lala-chan? You can have some if you want though." he added, trying to placate the girl into getting her to stay put. The pinkette smiled and drew his food box closer to herself even as the blond moved and walked out of the room. Once Naruto was out of sight, Saruyama and a few other boys swarmed the princess to try and eat lunch with her since she was now alone and they had some sort of a chance. Lala happily complied, unknowing or even uncaring of what was going through their hormonal minds. After all she only had eyes for one.
Students squealed and grabbed at their clothes as a person blew down the hallways at a speed not normally allowed in the building. One teacher yelled out to stop running in the halls but Naruto paid him no heed, too intent on making it to the stairs, down said stairs, and then out the door towards the PE area of the grounds. The blond hoped that things didn't progress too much to the point him and his newest foe were duking it out in the courtyard. Well, a quick henge could always solve his appearance and allow him to fight while still hiding in plain sight.
"Was that…it was!" Yui Kotegawa fixed her flaring skirt with a look of loathing, finding the fact that the boys around her had tried to sneak a peek at her hidden underwear when given the chance simply shameless. A withering glare from the pretty ravenette sent them on their way before the girl turned and puffed her cheeks out in frustration at what had just happened. Naruto Uzumaki had just broken the 'no running' rule inside of the school and not only that had went about exposing girls to the filthy-minded boys around them. If that didn't call for drastic actions then she didn't know what would.
Clearing her throat, Yui stalked down the hallway with a purpose. Thank goodness she had already finished eating and took to patrolling the hallways for rule-breakers. It was her job to help keep order in Sainin High when things got out of hand and this was one of them. Once she found him, that blond fool was getting the tongue-lashing of a lifetime. No way he'd sweet talk his way out of this one!
She looked left.
She looked right.
Kotegawa huffed and moved off, searching for any hint of yellow hair she could find while passing student after student. Apparently she actually had two purposes at the moment as her brownish-gold eyes scanned the surroundings: first she had to find the pervert and then she'd chew him out on his lack of self-control. Just wait. He wouldn't know what hit him and no taiyaki would save him this time.
…even though it had been pretty good…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Inside of the supply shed, Sasuga stood silently as his eyes scanned over the three teenagers currently held as hostages for reasons none of them knew about. "Hmmm…these girls may not be Lala but they're not that bad themselves…this one's got some curves on her (Risa), this one's sorta mousy but I'll admit the glasses are cute (Mio), and this one may not have Lala's figure but she's got room to grow (Haruna)." As he finished leering at the captives the man thumbed a control, causing the strange tentacles to wrap tightly around their crotches and fondle their chests. A vicious grin split across his face as the teacher watched them twist and moan in their sleep. "Let's see which one has the cutest voice."
WHAM
"LET THEM GO, ASSHO-you?" Naruto rushed into the room and chucked a rock at the man, finally noticing in shock that it was the gym teacher. His arm lost a bit of strength and control at the upset and it allowed the person to turn sideways and dodge the rather slow moving projectile. With a sneer Sasuga ran a hand through his light-tinted hair before pointing towards the girls and wagging a finger mockingly. The trio was each in mild states of discomfort and the sight caused the jinchuriki to clench his jaw in anger. It looked like something found in one of Jiraiya's books and truthfully it was just making the ninja madder. This Sasuga guy was about to get knocked the fuck out.
"You're pretty fast aren't you, Naruto Uzumaki? I wouldn't have minded if you took longer to walk here. Don't be so hasty though." Too bad for him because Naruto wasn't going to have any of that. With a small roar the teen rushed the teacher only to jump back in alarm when the man's skin suddenly rippled and twisted as though it were alive. Pink flesh gave way to a more sickly pale green and grew in size, gaining wiry muscle. A piercing wail issued forth from his mouth as pointed fangs erupted out of the exposed gums and forced Sasuga into a form that was clearly not anything remotely human anymore.
"Don't be too careless if you wish for them to remain uninjured, boy." 'Sasuga' spat out, standing taller than before with a toothy grin and wide, exposed eyes. The blond was now one-hundred percent sure that this guy was actually an alien. One of Lala's fiancé candidates to boot. Should he have seen something like this on the eventual horizon? With the way his life was…yes. Yes he should have. It didn't stop the shinobi from shouting out in revulsion though, with knees bent slightly and one hand pointing exaggeratingly at the other lifeform.
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE? You should have stayed in human form you ugly bastard! Seriously! Do you even know how hideous you are? Little kids would run away screaming as soon as they laid eyes on your nasty face!"
"SHUT UP, EARTHLING! This is my true form, and it is much more wonderful than your disgusting pink meat sack!"
"…you just insulted Lala too!"
The alien twitched in shock, wide, toothy mouth opening and closing without words as he tried to come up with a decent answer against the accusation. A flash of pure rage swiftly crossed his features and with a small growl he lashed out his hand threateningly. Whether or not it was actually supposed to scare Naruto somehow…well, it didn't.
"How dare you spout off such disgusting claims! Lala may have the close appearance of your species but she rises above all others! That body! That face! Those breasts! Once I become her husband it will all be mine!"
"Fat chance! As if she'd want to get hitched with your nasty ass!"
As the blond continued antagonizing his newest enemy, the raised voices were doing a great job of masking any other noises currently going on in the small building such as the girls' continued whimpers. The rock Naruto had thrown prior twitched once in its spot in the darkened corner of the room before disappearing in a near-quiet puff of smoke. From within the obscurant a clone of the boy nodded once to itself before stealthily creeping over to it creator's friends and pulling out a hidden kunai from within its yellow sleeve. Silently wishing itself luck, the chakra construct began cutting away at the base of the tentacles closest to the ceiling to free them. If the Uzumaki teen could keep all attention on himself, the kage bunshin could free the girls and then they could proceed to beating the stuffing out of Mr. Ugly.
"Insolence! I only needed to use my mimicry ability to take the spot of this 'Sasuga' human and continue my plan! I am Ghi Bree-sama and I will not have a lowly monkey such as yourself talk back to me in such a way! You should be honored to even be in my presence!" A huff of air passed forcefully through Bree's nostrils but the alien's eye twitched at the sight before himself. Naruto had taken to yawning loudly and rubbing at his azure eyes before staring back at him lamely, clearly not seeing how dire the situation was. In fact he did but Ghi Bree didn't need to know that.
"You done? Because I really don't care what you think." More anger. So much more anger. It nearly blinded the alien and caused him to throw caution to the wind and do something drastic just to wipe that stupid look off the blond's face. But suddenly it was gone, replaced by a lucid calm. The ends of the creature's mouth curled upwards yet again as fingers stroked his greenish chin in thought.
"You're quite annoying, aren't you? That's okay though…with simpletons like you, sometimes things need to simply be spelled out clearly so you can understand and get it through your thick skull. I will only say this once so pay close attention: give up on courting Lala. I will be the one to marry her and become the successor of the Devilukan Empire, not you. Plus, if you do not accept that request then I will not return these women to you at all. I may not become king in that situation but I think the consolation prize will be just as good…" Bree began laughing rather perversely, running a deep purple tongue across his teeth to recapture some of the drool that had escaped at the thought. "So what are you going to do? I don't have the patience to stand around here all day."
To Naruto, it actually seemed like the perfect escape clause but it would never work out. He couldn't let Lala marry this freak. Plus there was the whole 'Earth destroyed' thing that would put a cramp in his future plans. Plus, like he'd let this freaky alien take away his friends and do god-knows-what to them. Seeing that the ninja wasn't going to budge Ghi Bree frowned and pressed the button in his hand as an incentive. The cries and moans he expected would surely make this idiot of a boy finally express he had no desire to marry Lala and save his friends. How foolish, having such worries over anyone other than themselves. Looking out for #1 was a top priority and always would be.
Except he grew worried when silence continued to reign.
Bree looked back, not even deeming the boy as a threat, and the sight caused his already bulging eyes to grow wider in unbridled dread. His hostages were free from their bonds and laying softly upon one of the shed's mats, unmolested and under the guard of Naruto-wait, another Naruto? Ghi Bree's eyes snapped back and forth between the two blonds, both smiling in a predatory manner as one began rolling his sleeves up to the elbows. What the hell was going on? Wasn't this little bastard a mere Earthling? How did he do…whatever this is, without raising any sort of alert?
"Do you…" the one closest to the door began with a grin that showed off plenty of teeth, "Do you really think Lala would fall for you and your ass face, especially after this little incident here with taking her friends against their will?" Naruto took a step forward and cracked his knuckles before running a finger underneath his nose with a quick swipe of the digit. "I think you're pretty messed up in the head there."
"Stay back! You may have taken my trump card but that doesn't mean I can't simply obliterate you all with my power and take what is mine! We're getting married! I've decided it! Her personality may be childish but her figure isn't! Plus marrying her will make me the king of everything! I will not lose this chance of a lifetime!"
With a heaving grunt, Ghi's body once more came alive as the clothing literally burst from his body in a mass of shredded cloth due to the sudden influx of muscle mass. The alien continued to bellow as he grew two times larger than before and spikes erupted from his back and shoulders, laughing heartily at the frozen fear he knew was now coursing through Naruto's veins. But…there was no scream of horror or shaking in terror that he was expecting. No. Ghi Bree was being glared at with a frightening intensity that was missing from the blond moments before, a glare that caused a bead of sweat to trigger and slowly drip down his face. How was he this defiant? Why wasn't he afraid?
"It's assholes like you that make me sick. You don't care who you hurt in the process as long as your own goals are met." A flash of a man with glowing amber eyes with slit pupils and the likeness of a serpent appeared in Naruto's mind before vanishing, causing the boy to subconsciously release the hold on his anger and direct killing intent at his 'love rival'. After facing the likes of the bloodthirsty Demon of the Mist, the lacking of morals Snake Sannin, and the purely psychotic tanuki biju as big as a boss summon, did Bree really think increasing his size was going to benefit him? Not a chance. All it did was give the boy a bigger target. "All you want is Lala's body and a throne. You're a despicable bastard and I am so going to enjoy the next five minutes."
A cross was formed from his extended fore and middle fingers as a sudden influx of energy supercharged the air. Before the alien could even blink he was blinded by a large gust of smoke and a river of yellow that descended upon him like a wave of righteous fury. Bree's screams of pain resounded through the shed until all that remained was the constant smack of fists connecting with flesh. For an 'almighty' alien who supposedly had just a huge ass-load of power in his body, the green organism was one hell of a pussy. Ghi Bree was just a huge wimp that changed his appearance to get what he wanted or bully others into coercion. The idiot literally had no fighting spirit to speak of, and once the beat down had finished he transformed back into his true form; a little, grasshopper-like creature that looked somewhat like the form he took when he had revealed he wasn't actually Sasuga.
Loops of tightly wound rope found inside of the small sports shed were used to tie up the highly wounded alien before his trussed up body was dropped next to the doorway. A few clones remained behind after the mass dispelling, watching over the three girls and happily finding nothing wrong with them besides some lingering discomfort on their faces. One even ripped the base of the tentacle machine off the ceiling and dropped it next to its master. The original Uzumaki walked outside and wiped a few traces of bluish-black blood from his knuckles upon the grass before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through the limited numbers, looking at the highlighted name with a quiet gaze before sighing in frustration and ringing his pink-haired housemate.
The line rang three times before the perky pinkette picked up (it seemed her D-Dial actually did have the capability to make telephone calls, which she had fine-tuned to connect with Earth's satellites) and happily began conversing. "Hellooooooo, Naruto! I wasn't expecting you to call me! Saruyama-san and his friends have been keeping me company while you were gone but I was starting to get bored…how come you're taking so long? Are you pooping?"
"Lala! No!" he cried aghast with a slight waver in his voice. "Don't say that so loudly! I'm not in the bathroom! Sheesh…but, I did run into a problem though. Could you come down to the gym supply shed? I ran into one of my fellow…candidates…"
He could hear her hum in confusion and the ninja could literally imagine her tilting her head cutely to the side, before hearing her sniff and realize what he was talking about. "Oh…oh! Are you okay? Which one was it?"
"I'm fine. He called himself Ghi Bree and kept changing his shape. Now he's just some midget tied up by some rope." Naruto moved back inside the shack and poked the unconscious alien with his toe, getting a low groan in response. "He was actually the one who called me and sorta forced me to come down here because he took Mio, Haruna, and Risa hostage. It wasn't Ero-sennin who called me. I just made that up so things wouldn't seem suspicious and he didn't try anything against you…I'm sorry for lying. I just didn't want you to worry."
"...I'll be there soon." she said quickly before hanging up. As the dial tone reached his ears Naruto realized her voice sounded somewhat quiet at the end, being more subdued and slightly terse. It was something that didn't suit Lala's nature.
"I think…I might've messed up."
"You did lie to her." a clone interjected from his spot at the light-haired brunette's side. Risa was no longer looking uncomfortable and seemed rather content. Same for Haruna and Mio, who were lying quietly and soundly unperturbed.
"Even if it was to protect her." added the second who took to leaning against the wall.
"Boss needs to learn about the troubles of a relationship all couples go through, anyways." chimed in the third. His statement caused the real shinobi to scrunch up his nose and stare at the loud creation with something akin to confused anger.
"Shut up! We're not dating!...I think! Anyways, how would you know about relationship troubles? You're me!"
"Because I pay attention to things! You do too but you're too stupid to remember it all!"
"You're stupid!"
Before the boy could continue arguing with himself, the four heard a sharp gasp at the door that made them all swivel their heads in that direction simultaneously and mutter a low "shit". There in the entrance stood Kotegawa, wide-eyed with her hands placed against her chest. The ravenette was panting slightly as though she had been moving at a brisk pace while her eyes darted between the 'quadruplets' and unconscious females. What the hell was she doing here? In fact, how did the pretty girl find them in the first place?
Why in the hell did he forget to create a lookout for this exact sort of confrontation?
"W…what? How is…" Bangs cascaded along her face as her body trembled, more from the sheer audacity of there being four identical Narutos than from any sort of fear. Her adrenaline was pumping from the search and minor excitement of finally nailing the boy but the sight before her had the poor female's heart racing. Yui's mind idly knew her year-mates were there on the floor but she was too engrossed in the seemingly impossible feat before her very eyes. She had asked around and someone mentioned they saw what looked like Naruto heading towards the gym area. When she heard voices coming form the supply shack she knew it had to be him. Now she was wondering if it was all a mistake.
To make matters worse, the disciplinarian heard a gurgle at her side that caused her to let out a high-pitched scream and keel over, out like a light. As Naruto rushed over and gently caught her in his arms he realized the sight of a bloody, beaten, bound and gagged alien was just too much for her at the moment and it made her faint. Now ain't that a bitch? "Well, Gouzen-chan…how am I going to get out of this one?" Silence was his answer, even as she readjusted slightly in his grasp. She really was a cutie in the shinobi's opinion now that he had an uninterrupted view of her…at least, he mused, when she wasn't yelling at him.
The jinchuriki softly carried her over and laid her down next to the others before the door opened for yet another time and his savior skipped through the portal with some of her old energy back in place. "Naruto! There you are! Ah, Haruna, Mio, and Risa!" Lala stopped suddenly upon noticing the fourth addition, to which she looked at her fiancé curiously. "Who's that?"
"I'll explain later. First, what do we do about this guy?" Naruto pointed over her shoulder which caused the alien to follow his line of sight and frown heavily at what she saw.
"Ew! Ghi Bree…so it's true. I always told him many times I hated him but he wouldn't give up. I didn't know he looked like that, though."
"He appears to be a Balkean, Lala-sama. Their bodies are very delicate and so make up for it with an excellent mimicry ability."
"I see…you have some explaining to do, mister!" She suddenly rounded on the lone male while eyeing him sternly, hands on her hips and defiance in her stance. The blond felt very self-conscious again. So he did as she asked, telling her all that had happened from the time Bree called him on Risa's phone all the way up to the princess' appearance. He was confused on Yui's part but gave his best reason anyways, citing it was likely just a wrong place/ wrong time sort of thing.
"And then you burst in and here we are."
Lala tapped a finger against her chin as she absorbed the newest information given. "You only lied to protect me from being taken away, and to not scare anyone who doesn't know about aliens?" At his nod Lala became uncharacteristically silent again as she stood in front of him with her eyes downcast. Naruto fidgeted slightly in the tense atmosphere but suddenly found his view flipped when the pinkette leapt at him, knocking him over as he tackled him into yet another hug. He was still pretty much only used to familial hugs from the likes of Tsunade, Shizune, and occasionally Iruka, but these meaningful ones from a girl his own age still threw him for a loop. It didn't stop the blushing teenager from eventually looping his arms around her waist though.
She pulled back slightly as her form draped over his own, smiling sweetly which did nothing more than baffle him greatly. Especially with how she had been acting prior to the hug. In truth the girl was originally miffed he had lied to her about such a serious topic, but such feelings evaporated like water in the desert after hearing what he had done for her sake. "Lala? Are you…"
"You did all this to make sure he couldn't marry me! I'm so happy!"
Naruto's face dropped into a neutral expression as his eyes turned to look at the still bound shapeshifter. "Like I'd let him. The way he was talking about you…he didn't care if you were happy with his plans. Stupid bastard only cared about appearances. Told me so himself. He only wanted what would be good for himself, namely rule the galaxy and how hot you are. If I said no then he was just going to take Risa, Mio, and Haruna as a 'consolation prize'!" He growled lightly at the end but his attention was drawn back towards Lala whose own eyes had widened slightly before growing soft. With a grin still etched on her face and a minor blush of her own, the princess giggled and looked him dead in his blue irises.
"The way you just said it…so you think I'm hot too, huh?"
All she was answered with was a choking sound. "I, uh, I-I-" It didn't matter anymore as Lala hopped off of her position on his lap and stood up straight with her fists raised into the air. His shy stuttering and inability to deny such a thing was more than enough evidence for the tailed female. Now she at least definitely knew there was a mutual attraction. Whether or not it was due to the influence of his other crush though, she didn't really know or care at this point. AND! Once again he proved himself and showed Lala she had made the correct choice in choosing to marry him.
"Oooooooooooooookay! I know exactly what to do with him!" A quick press of her cell phone brought forth yet another invention of hers that appeared in a quick burst of digital transmission. This one was a large white toilet crafted into the shape of a duck's head with Devilukan designs. It landed on the ground with a dull clunk before Lala grabbed the greenish alien and lifted the upper lid of the item. She gave a small glare at the male before removing her grip from the rope she was holding and dropped him without restraint. "Slosh-slosh Warp-kun will flush him down and deport him from the planet. Don't come near me or Earth anymore, Ghi Bree!"
The alien let loose one more gurgle from inside the watery machine before the handle was pushed and the machine powered up. The liquid swirled around in a strong vortex before bubbling heavily and making a large amount of noise that inevitably died off until it once again ran quietly. The mass of tentacles was the next to go, disappearing into the watery portal before Lala returned the machine to its former confines.
"Any ideas on what to do now? She saw Bree's alien form and me using clones! Our cover's blown! The pervert's gonna kill me!" Naruto was nearly pulling his hair out at the implications of Yui walking in on him. They'd have to move on! Leave behind everyone without even a simple explanation! Training was going to turn into 'beat on Naruto because he was stupid' while pretending to be called training! Hell, Jiraiya might just take him straight back to Konoha where he'd likely be beaten for the sage's stupid decisions!
Gah!
"Who is she?" Lala's simple sentence cut through his sweaty worrying like a sharp knife, causing him to gulp and force his breathing under control. With a loud 'phew' he turned and walked over next to the pinkette with a small shiver in his step.
"That's…I call her Gouzen-chan but her real name is…is…Kotegawa! No, wait…Kokegawa? Dammit I should remember this."
"Isn't that the one Haruna-chan talked about before?"
"Yeah…she must have been looking for me or something. I don't know." Lala looked amongst the four girls and the clones who had remained silently in the background during the two's interactions before bopping one of her fists into her other palm. It was followed by a nod that happened so quickly, the strand of curly hair atop her head wobbled in place before settling back down into its preferred spot.
"Don't worry, I just thought of an idea…"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lights flickered in front of closed eyes as consciousness slowly returned. What happened? Wasn't she at school? So why…why was she asleep? "Hahiiiii…w-what happened?" The very first thing Yui saw upon opening her eyes was the concerned green orbs and rather pretty face of Lala Satalin Deviluke. A very close Lala Satalin Deviluke. The ravenette felt her face heat up from embarrassment from the extreme proximity and shot upwards, clutching at the area beneath her to steady her dizzy body. Her head darted around to see she was in the infirmary, lying upon one of the many cots and nowhere near the shed that caused her to black out.
Lala wasn't the only one there either. Naruto sat in one of the chairs off to the side while the medical examiner Mikado sat at her desk, drinking from a steaming cup while looking over a few charts. The other three girls were awake as well, conversing among themselves while waiting for the teacher to finish her reading. Movement at the edge of her vision caused the teenager to focus back on the pink-haired female who was sitting back in her seat with a wide grin at seeing her moving around.
"Yay, you're awake! Is your head okay?"
"What is going on here? I was just in the…P.E. shed looking for- YOU!" Soles clicked against the tiles as Kotegawa jumped to her feet and pointed at the lone male menacingly. If looks could kill, he would have melted already under her fierce gaze. To his credit, all Naruto did was smile weakly and gulp, sweating heavily on the inside and hoping Lala's plan worked.
"H-hey there, Gouzen-chan. Y-you scared us back there when you ran into the shed and slipped. How's your head feeling?" Yui's look of rage quickly diminished, replaced by bewilderment as a hand quickly placed itself against her skull to check for any signs of damage while she quickly muttered a 'don't call me that'. Watching her work the ninja chuckled weakly in response. "Yeah, it's been one hell of a day. First Sasuga-sensei calls me using Risa-chan's phone, saying all three of the girls over there fainted somehow when he was going to speak with them about class and he needed help moving them. I rushed down there and called Lala-chan for some extra help, when suddenly you show up and fall."
"It…was a dream then?"
"What was?"
She blinked as the memories came back to her, of the multitude of Uzumakis and that, that THING! She repressed the shudder that threatened to wrack her body. "More like a nightmare…there was a monster and four of those shameless blonds standing around the unconscious bodies of those three over there."
"Besides the monster getting in the way, sounds like a good start to my kind of a dream." Risa decided to chime in, sending a wink towards Naruto. Before the black-haired student could start ranting at her fellow female about acting with such loose morals, the visibly flustered fifteen-year old jumped in (literally) to help blow things over quickly and finish deceiving everyone into thinking a normal, perfectly logical situation happened. One arm was held out towards Yui while the other stretched towards Risa and the others.
"HEY, SO! You're all great according to Mikado-sensei, so how about we finish up here and get back to class? Lunch is over and we shouldn't be missing out…and all that junk." he mumbled at the end. Naturally he could care less, taking to sleeping or slacking off while at his desk. By the looks he was getting from his classmates they knew as well but still took it at face value. The busty medical examiner turned in her seat and regarded the younger members with a mild smirk, folding one arm beneath her large chest while the other held her cup near her mouth in case she felt like taking a sip of the bitter brown coffee resting within her mug.
"Uzumaki-san is correct-"
"Don't say it like that, I sound old."
"-you're all free to go if you decide to leave. Thank Uzumaki-kun and Lala-san as well for making sure you were all safe."
"…better? How come Lala got the name that didn't make her sound like she was in her thirties?"
"Because this sweet, young girl didn't interrupt when I was speaking." The red/brown-haired woman merely smiled kindly at him despite the teasing which did the job of getting Naruto to grunt and deflate slightly in his chair. The girls giggled at his plight, even Yui though it was because he got told off in a way, before Lala skipped over to her friends and pulled Haruna into a quick hug that caused the slender teen to become taken aback. The alien royalty expressed how she was glad everyone was safe and how they really needed to watch themselves so nothing like that ever happened again. It held a higher meaning but the girl's didn't exactly know that.
Naruto suddenly grunted again when a familiar looking bag sailed through the air and landed on his lap. If the appearance hadn't given it away, the smell now wafting from inside the crumpled top sure as hell did. Still, he was confused by why he had just been given it. "What?"
"You left them on the roof during our last encounter. I figured I would return them the next time I met with you."
"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about them!"
"...what were you doing on the roof with sensei?"
Luckily before he had to elaborate a grumble issued forth from Haruna's stomach, causing said human to whimper softly and cover her abdomen in mortification. Missing lunch was catching up to her and she wasn't the only one. Risa and Mio were showing signs of discomfort as well, Yui was beginning to frown again, and Lala was staring longingly at the bag in his possession. Without a thought he unraveled the snacks and stuck his arm out towards the others. "Well? Come and get something to eat. They're still good; it hasn't been that long since I bought them." It took a bit more coaxing but he was finally able to get them to share. Even the teacher took one, nibbling on it as she went back to work.
After the lot of them finished their task and the group finally headed off to change (for those that needed it) and return to class, Kotegawa gave Naruto an 'I'm watching you' two-fingered gesture before telling him not to be a pervert. "Also…thank you for assisting me." There was a small speckling of red across her cheeks from admitting such a thing to a boy she considered good for nothing, and when she noticed him grinning at her with closed eyes she scoffed and turned on her heel. The action caused her hair to nearly hit him in the face as the committee member stepped off towards her own classroom. She could have at least said goodbye. Stingy.
They watched her go before Risa, Haruna, and Mio turned to return to the locker rooms. Naruto suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and it had him turning to look right into the face of Risa. One that was giving him a look that suggested whatever was going on in her mind, he was unsure if he wanted to become a part of it knowing her personality. "Ohhhhh, Naruto-kun." Her words came out silkily and low-pitched. Oh lord, she pretty much just purred. What had he done to set her off?
"Y-yes?"
"When I woke up I noticed something…odd, I guess you could say." There was a gleam in her eye and her hand had drifted south from its spot on his shoulder. "My clothes were perfectly fine but, you know, I just couldn't help but feel that my panties were a bit off center than what I remember. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Maybe…decided to take a peek while I was out?" She laughed alongside Mio when the boy somehow tripped over his feet in a standing position before hitting the wall head on. Oh, he was so innocent!
She couldn't wait for the day where his inner beast would finally release itself and she got to see what kind of man he could really be. Risa Momioka was not a slut, nor a girl that went around sleeping with anything with a penis. Hell she was still a virgin. She knew she had a rockin' figure and her flirtatious ways could be easily misconstrued. Any other guy would have already tried to take her up on the offer whenever she had brought such a subject out into the open. But not Naruto. He acted like he was from another time period sometimes, but in the time they had spent together she could see he had a heart of gold. Although the boy was engaged to the vivacious Lala-chii, if something were to ever happen she'd be there…not that she wanted anything bad to befall their relationship though.
Besides, teasing him was just so much fun!
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Another place, another time:
Whatever happened to that poor fool Ghi Bree? It was simple enough. Just like Pyon-pyon Warp-kun, Slosh-slosh Warp-kun would transport its inhabitant to any random vector on or in the nearby planet or space once the general coordinates were given. The kicker was they got to keep their clothes in exchange for being completely drenched to the bone and waterlogged. Unfortunately, the Balkean was transported right into the bathroom of one unfortunate victim who just wanted some alone time. Poor Zastin. Couldn't even bath himself aboard his own personal ship without having a random midget alien explode from under the water's surface covered in synthetic tentacles.
Some people just had the worse luck.
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A/N: New chapter. W00t. Yui's back as well as a small appearance by Mikado. Good looking girls w00t. Tsunade knows of Naruto's new arrangement and obviously she's not happy. I have it planned for him to ship back to Konoha for a time in the future (shippuden canon. I mean, if he hears about Gaara's abduction do you think he'd really not freak out and want to head back for a bit? Gotta love reverse summoning), and his arrival is going to be oh so welcome. If his head isn't punched from his shoulders first. Plus a bit more development between Naruto and Lala. And a bit with Risa too because I can.
So yeah.
Had spring break a few weeks ago followed by yet another break due to my teachers going to some police conference thing in New York. After that I had class for two weeks and now I have Easter break starting Monday. Oh, I'm sorry. Holiday break. Since, y'know, everything's so goddamn politically correct or offensive nowadays. Did you hear they made a list of words that children can't write about in reports or something like that because it might offend other kids who might not know about whatever the subject was? I heard about it on Drew and Mike in the Morning. Good lord…okay, done with that rant.
Been playing a lot of Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations alongside having a butt load of projects for my classes. I hate Danzo, unless someone actually writes him well in their story like Kenchi618's Sealed Kunai (also, the man's pretty much my favorite author on this site), but dammit he's my best character in that game next to Kisame. Now I just have to get good enough to beat my friend…
Izanagi FTW.
Also, randomness possibly brought on by my lack of sleep.
Later.
*The A/N above is not mine, so are the A/Ns that were not written in Bold and Italics. Those are Gavedin's original notes, I only repeat this because some people mistake the A/Ns as my own.*