I Can Never Loose You
Oliver Queen's oldest and most trusted were his nightmares. They were always static and haunting portraying him as the killer he was etched and moulded into, ferocious when pulling the string of his bow and finding a target for his crafted arrows. Oliver had repeatedly relived the moments and stared into his reflection in his dreams, hoping that the image staring back at him did not covey a monster. His nightmares took an erratic turn after the death of his mother sketching the creases of his grief onto his face. But Oliver Queen raged a war against the nightmare; challenging them to break down the man he was moulding himself into, the hero he was striving to be.
Time passed and Oliver's nightmares moulded into him becoming a part of the burden he would always bear. But when his nightmares started taking the breath out of the woman he loved, Oliver was driven to the edge of insanity. The first time he dreamt of losing her, of holding on to her body running blood Oliver forgot how to take a breath. He cried, he thrashed and he flailed but the nightmare continued. The second time, Oliver found himself outside Felicity's apartment watching her sleep and measuring her breaths. Her drawn curtains bathed her sleeping form with moonlight leaving him mesmerized due to the beauty and purity in her.
The nightmares continued, each time Oliver cried over the blood laden body of his love. When he was awake, his gaze on the woman he loved lingered a second longer than he would have allowed himself, his hand on her shoulder did not let go for a long time and his need to touch her became an instinct rather than a habit. He could feel her questioning glances towards him coaxing him to speak what was left unspoken but Oliver was unable to speak his fears. There were nights that Oliver cried himself to sleep and on one of those fateful nights when Oliver lulled himself back to sleep, he lived her death by an arrow through her heart, an arrow which bore his mark. This left him reeling and deranged with sleepless nights. It gnawed at him and Oliver became afraid to stare at his reflection in the mirror. When he saw her, her lifeless body with his arrow taking away her breath became his fear. So he ignored her, he became cruel and caused her pain. But she didn't leave him and with every painful word she became more forgiving staring into his soul and looking at his struggles.
The time for her to risk her life came too soon and Oliver found himself on edge. He screamed and fought with her but she said it was her choice so she would see it through. Oliver asked her to stop but every time she asked for a reason Oliver could not say those words and reasons so she held her ground and carried on. Digg noticed and dragged Oliver aside demanding his reasons so he told his best friend. He spoke of his nightmares and his fears; of how losing her would mean the end of him and of how he loved her. Digg had understood but it was Felicity's voice which had given him an answer after hearing his confession. She stood before him and placed his hand over her heart. She asked him to feel her heartbeat so Oliver did. He noticed the pace of her slightly racing heartbeat feeling the warmth spilling through him knowing she was alive. She then placed his other hand on her cheek and Oliver noticed an increase in her heart rate.
Felicity then met his gaze and told him that he was the only one who made her heart race. The one whose presence made her feel alive and not just exist, the man who could die protecting her and the one she was deeply and irrevocably in love with. The woman he loved, who he thought he never deserved, stood in front of him laying all her feelings down. Her eyes right then did not have fear or remorse for loving a broken man like him, they had determination and guilt, guilt for letting him go through his nightmares alone and determination which dared Oliver to challenge the love she felt for him. So Oliver gave into her completely and when he did his nightmares subsided.
A week later, Oliver completely gave into to Felicity and when he held her, he placed her hand on his heart. He showed her that their heart beats were in fact one and he wanted to wake up listening to it every day for a lifetime. That was the first time Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, the man who loved a woman who was his only redemption, fell asleep holding onto her with his demons vaporizing along with his nightmares.
Oliver still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night and searches for her. She is always next to him comforting him and holding onto him making him listen to her heart, making him believe she is completely his. Three years have passed since Felicity has been sharing his bed and Oliver always gets up when the first light bathes into his room and admires her sleeping form, the way the sun highlights her skin, the way she radiates with her blonde curves falling effortlessly on her back and the way she curls up into him. So he places a hand on her waist and brings her in closer listening to her steady heartbeat. Right then, he held his redemption in his arms, the woman to whom he lost his soul, the one for whom he became a hero. His nightmares will haunt him but their fear and pain had disappeared because Oliver Queen now knew not to be afraid and to love someone with all his heart.
Somehow I ended up liking this fic more than necessary just because of it's sheer simplicity. I can imagine Oliver's nightmares becoming his source of sorrow especially when it's linked to Felicity. Thanks for all the reviews though.