Axel drew his hood tight around his head. It wasn't the same as the hood of his Organization jacket, but the gesture still gave him some comfort. The hoodie and jeans Xemnas had given him did little to shield him from the harsh winds and pattering rain, but Axel knew how stupid it would be to wear his Organization coat on a job like this.
Job. The word left a bitter taste in his mouth now. He'd never even considered the possibility of having to hunt down Roxas, but then again, he'd never considered the possibility of Roxas wanting to leave the Organization either.
He headed to Strife's neighborhood, where all the trouble had started. Something about the family had made Roxas balk, and after studying pictures of Cloud Strife and his son, Sora, Axel had a niggling suspicion as to why. Hands in his pockets, Axel plodded down street after street, looking deceptively cavalier to passersby. About a block from Strife's mansion, Axel's sharp eyes caught sight of a familiar petite figure, almost the size of a child. The figure also had a hood up, but Axel would've known Roxas's posture anywhere. He watched the boy disappear into an alleyway and wove his way through the people on the street to follow him.
Roxas was sitting against the alley wall, trying to fit under the eaves to get away from the rain. His head was bowed, and Axel stepped lightly so as not to be notices. In a flash, he'd pinned Roxas against the wall, a knee in his lower back and one hand around his wrists.
"It's me!" Axel hissed as Roxas bucked in his arms, trying to get free. "Calm down."
The blond relaxed a little. "What the hell are you doing?" he spat back.
"I wanted to make sure you didn't run," Axel said apologetically, releasing him slowly. "Please, just talk to me."
Roxas turned to him warily. "What are you doing here?"
Axel smiled wanly. "You're my best friend, Rox. And I know something was buggin' you. I couldn't just let you leave without me."
Roxas punched him in the arm, hard, and Axel yelped. "You idiot!" Roxas struggled to keep his voice low. "If they catch me they'll dusk me. You think I wanted that for you too? You should have fucking stayed, you asshole!"
"You don't know what it was like without you," Axel snapped. "Maybe you should have thought about how your selfishness would affect me before you left with barely any warning!"
"My selfishness?" Roxas spit back. "I don't remember who I am or where I came from. And when I went to cut that Strife boy's throat, he recognized me. Excuse the fuck outta me for flipping out about my past that I can't even remember!" He shoved Axel hard in the chest. "I have some connection with that family. I might have killed my own brother or something, Axel! I think I deserve to be a little selfish!"
Axel had stumbled back from the shove, and now he rubbed his chest. Roxas's shoves were no joke. He frowned a little. "You…don't know?"
Roxas blinked, still breathing hard from his whispered rant. "Know what?"
"Sora Strife ain't dead."
The blond gaped at him, blue eyes wide in his thin face. "What?"
Axel furrowed his brows. "I thought you did it on purpose, Rox. You're like a surgeon with that knife."
"I—I don't—it must have been—" Roxas choked out, then fell silent. "I guess being recognized threw me off?" he asked weakly, then looked at Axel pleadingly.
Axel folded his arms. "Or you somehow recognized him and subconsciously didn't go for the kill." Roxas slid to the ground again, and Axel tentatively sat next to him. Hesitantly, he reached out to ruffle his friend's hair, like he did often, but Roxas's closed body language made him wary. As soon as he felt Axel's fingers, though, Roxas leaned into him, and the ruffle became more like a stroke. It flustered Axel a little, stroking Roxas's hair, but the lost look on the boy's face told him Roxas was dying to be comforted. "Aww, c'mere, kid," the redhead said, slinging an arm around his friend. "We'll figure it out, hey?" he said, voice softer. Roxas leaned against his chest, a little stiffly, and gave a sigh.
"I'm sorry I left," he said in a low voice.
"I'm sorry I was such an ass," Axel countered. "I went back and looked at the Strife pictures again, and there's no way you're not related to them somehow. I just…felt abandoned, y'know?" Axel fell silent, face going grim as he remembered Xemnas's orders. Xemnas may have chosen him because Roxas trusted him implicitly, but he had to also know how cruel it was to make him bring in his best friend to be dusked. Partly because of his profession and partly just because it was his nature, Axel had a very gifted tongue for lies, even when they tasted as sour as they did now.
"I should've told you everything…I just didn't want to involve you more." Roxas spoke into his shirt, still not looking up.
Axel gave him a one-armed squeeze. "Well, I got my stupid ass involved anyways," he said affectionately. "Whatcha been doing, anyway?"
"I've only been out here for a couple nights," Roxas reminded him. "But it's been kinda shitty. There's an abandoned warehouse in the bad part of town that I've been sleeping at, but I don't have any money so I've been just nicking food from people's houses."
Axel snickered a little at that. "Well, that's probably the best way." He shifted a little, taking his arm back from Roxas's shoulders but keeping close to him for warmth. "You've been checking out the Strife house?"
"Yeah, but no one's there."
"Xemnas said they patched up the kid in secret. Odds are they're laying low after an assassination attempt. You been inside?"
Roxas sighed. "No, not yet. I couldn't pluck up the courage to go inside. The most obvious answer is that I'm Cloud Strife's son, but when we were still back at headquarters I did some research, and he's never had another son besides Sora. I ran 'Roxas Strife' through all the systems and it doesn't exist. I don't exist."
"Hey, don't say that. There could be tons of explanations."
"Like what?" Roxas asked shrewdly, and Axel was forced to shrug.
"I don't know, man. We'll figure it out, huh Roxy?" He ruffled his hair.
"Don't call me that," Roxas said crossly, but he was smiling.
Thunder cracked then, and they both jumped. "Why don'tcha show me where you're staying," Axel suggested. "It's gonna start pouring soon."
"It's right back here, actually," said Roxas, getting to his feet and disappearing into the gloom that shrouded the depths of the alley. Axel followed him curiously, and sure enough, there was a battered wooden door set into the alley's wall. Roxas jimmied the lock and they stepped inside, eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.
"Oh, this'll be fun," Axel muttered, looking around. The floor was hard wood, rotted in some places, and there were bits of junk and odds and ends littering shelves that still hugged the walls. "Is there anything useful in here at all?"
"Not really," Roxas admitted. "But the roof is still tight, so we shouldn't get wet. Are you hungry or anything?"
"No, just dog tired," Axel told him. "I forgot how shitty life outside of the Organization was. I been on my feet all day, feels like."
Roxas smiled wryly. "Pick some floorboards and we can go to sleep," he joked.
Axel made a face, but gingerly sought out a place that looked a bit cleaner than everywhere else and still had solid flooring. He sat down, stretching out his long limbs and leaning back on his hands. "Sleeping in a bed for so many years has made me soft," he complained.
"Here." Roxas tossed something at him, and Axel caught it, recognizing his friend's Organization coat. "I've been using this as a pillow. It's big enough to share, I think."
"I wish I coulda brought mine," Axel said. "But wandering around in broad daylight in a long black coat would've been stupid as hell and I wasn't about to wait until nightfall. Xemnas was getting antsy that I knew something and I wanted to get the hell out." Roxas had the grace to look guilty, but Axel just flashed him a grin, folding the coat into a pad and sliding it under his head before wriggling to the side to let Roxas lie down next to him. Through unspoken agreement they left a couple inches of space between their bodies. Axel curled up into a ball, pulling his hoodie around his thin body to get warm. The night air was bitingly cold, and he could feel his fingers growing numb.
"I'm glad you came," Roxas said suddenly, cutting through the silence and dark. "I missed you so much, even after only a couple days. I never thought you'd choose me over the Organization."
Axel flinched a little at the words, glad Roxas couldn't see his face in the gloom. "Well, you're my best friend," he said quietly. "And I wish you hadn't made me choose, but I'm happy with the choice I made." They fell silent again, trying to sleep, but Axel could hear Roxas's teeth chattering and the sound was irritating enough to keep him awake. Finally he rolled over, sliding an arm around his friend's waist and pulling him tight against his body.
"What are you doing?" Roxas asked, his voice a little breathy with surprise.
"Your teeth are chattering so loud I couldn't sleep. At least this way we'll be warm, right?" Already Axel could feel heat seeping into his body from Roxas pressed against him, and it was making him drowsy.
"Guess so." Evidently Roxas felt the same, because after a few minutes his breathing evened out and his body relaxed.
Axel stayed awake for a while longer, though his eyelids felt heavy. Despite the sleepiness, his brain kept turning, making guilt flicker in the pit of his stomach. How quickly Roxas had accepted his story! Would I trust him as much as he trusts me if I were in his place? Axel wondered, and before the thought had even finished he knew he would have. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. This was how Xemnas tested him. Forcing him to choose between his entire life and his best friend, using his fear of being dusked to manipulate him. There was no way they would be able to outrun the entire Organization…it was either spend his last happy days with Roxas or be allowed to live un-dusked and yet empty.
And above all, the feeling of Roxas in his arms was throwing Axel off. They had always been close, inseparable maybe, but sleeping together like this? Axel felt a shiver run through him that had nothing to do with the cold at his back. When Roxas had first arrived at the Organization, he had been so young and vulnerable that they had snuck into each other's rooms frequently at night and slept in the same bed, innocently wound together to stave off nightmares and loneliness. But several years later when Axel started entering puberty he had put a stop to it, not wanting to explain to a young, wide-eyed Roxas why he sometimes woke up with his boxers soaked and the memory of pleasure humming through is veins when he barely knew the reason himself. His body was very clearly telling him that while he may have had the emotional maturity of his young friend, physically he was becoming a man.
Having Roxas in his arms now felt familiar, remembered after all those years, and yet different at the same time. Now Roxas was the one becoming a man—had become a man already, when Axel wasn't looking. His body was still small, but Axel could feel the hard, wiry muscles under his hand, remembered how Roxas's voice had started to crack a few years ago and the grief he'd given the blond, teasing him mercilessly while Roxas sulked. He remembered Roxas's face losing its puppy-fat, becoming thin and sharp and—God—handsome. But Roxas had always just been his friend, his Roxy, someone he would move mountains for, who didn't need protecting but who he wanted to protect, to try to preserve any innocence that was left in those blue eyes.
Axel gave a little moan of despair, quiet enough that it wouldn't wake Roxas. He knew how gorgeous his best friend was, had always envied his looks, but had never wrestled with any kind of physical attraction to him until now, when he was holding him as he slept, curled tightly around him. How do you bridge those feelings? the redhead thought helplessly. How do you know when it's more than friendship? Often Axel thought the Organization had stunted his ability to discern emotions—after all, you didn't need things like love and caring when you were a killer—and trying to wrap his mind around it now was making his head hurt.
With a little sigh, Axel buried his face in Roxas's warm neck and closed his eyes, allowing himself the guilty pleasure of enjoying the blond's body against his own in the dead of night. His back was still cold, but the furnace in his arms was enough of a distraction to allow him to slip slowly into slumber.