"You don't understand her." The acrobat's voice was quiet and held certain softness to it. Her gaze was cast downwards, her bangs befalling her eyes. It seemed the words pained her.
Despite Ty Lee's timid demeanor, Katara was taken aback by the Fire Nation girl's phrase. When it came to Azula, her opinions were always clear and very strong. She was and always had been, a monster. Whether she had gone insane or anything else didn't change that fact.
The waterbender surveyed the normally docile girl before her. Though she had spoken with a hushed tonality, Ty Lee gave no sign of surrender. Her posture was not the frilly and playful one Katara had come to know. She stood firm, resolute. It was not a threatening pose, but it held an air of seriousness that the waterbender had not seen before. There was an omnipresent aura emanating from the now Kyoshi Warror, one that caused the girl's slender arms to tremble slightly. For a reason she couldn't place, Katara knew it wasn't out of fear.
Ty Lee raised her eyes to meet Katara's. The waterbender had expected to see anger or some misplaced revenge in those gray orbs. Rather she was met with the purest expression she may have ever seen. Ty Lee's eyes burned with passion, paralyzing Katara where she stood.
"You have no idea who she is." The words weren't accusatory, nor did they hold malice. "People paint her as many things Katara, but no one really knows."
The watertribe girl could only stand in her place, listening dumbly to Ty Lee as she spoke from a place of deep understanding. The words drifted slowly from her lips, taking flight into a world that had never known of them. A world that never knew those words could describe a certain Fire Nation Ex-Princess.
"She's not like you or me. I'm sure you realized that a long time ago." She paused, her eyes wandering to some far off place. Katara realized a painful longing in the acrobat's eyes before they returned to her own. "Did you know, she doesn't even think she's human. Maybe that's no surprise to you. Maybe you don't care. Perhaps you even find it true?"
She didn't wait for an answer.
"Truth is," she nearly let a sad smile grace her lips at the impending irony. "She's probably more human than any of us."
The acrobat already anticipated the rejection of her claim by the waterbender. After all, how could anyone believe the demon child of Ozai was more human than the famously warm hearted Katara, healer of hundreds?
"Humanity isn't only about compassion. It's also about suffering, pain, and cruelty." The acrobat said sadly, as if responding to the thoughts that swirled in Katara's head.
"So you think you can prove her humanity based on how evil she is?" Katara nearly shouted, the temporary paralysis broken by a churning rage. "The crimes and atrocities committed? Genocide? You think grants her a claim to human rights?"
"You're saying she doesn't deserve human rights."
Ty Lee's eyes met Katara's with a seriousness that stripped her of words. She gaped slightly, had she really meant to say that? She sputtered to recover, "T-that's…that's not what I said…" Katara looked down, unable to meet Ty Lee's unwavering eyes.
"Maybe not, but it's exactly what you meant. It's what everybody means, even if they are too righteous to say it." Ty Lee nearly snarled. She had to close her eyes to calm herself momentarily. "Everyone thinks they can treat her however they want. Chain her to a wall not caring if the cuffs gnaw her skin to the bone. Chain her standing for days, let her thrash around until she bleeds, never a moment for her to rest. Make her where a muzzle. Look the other way when the guards decide to rough her up a bit. And they say you are the good guys, the righteous ones, the ones who rid the world of pain and suffering."
Katara stood aghast at the would be accusations, but Ty Lee spoke so truthfully that she had no defense whatsoever. It seemed so wrong when the normally cheery acrobat said it out loud. She could feel herself trembling and her knees didn't feel so steady anymore. Thoughts were spinning in her head so quickly that she didn't exactly know what to believe at the moment.
"But, but we did bring peace! We did rid the world of pain and suffering, of the Fire Nation's corrupt rule!"
"How." The way Ty Lee was speaking scarred Katara. It was so even and practiced. It nearly sounded the way Mai's deadpan voice drawled when she spoke of something she knew so well.
"We defeated-"
"So through fighting then." Katara flinched. Those eyes were really getting to her.
"Yes…"
"Do you really think you're so different?"
Katara faltered at that. There was a long lost sense of innocence in the question. Katara wanted to fight back, to argue, and to prove that their cause had been different. That they had been right and the Fire Nation and Princess Azula had been wrong. How could it have been any other way? She thought of the words that haunted her after the fateful Agni Kai: There is no such thing as right and wrong, only the winner and the loser! An image of the crazed princess flashed in her mind. She shivered.
"Katara, you and the Avatar fought to free the world from the Fire Nation, but you also conquered the Fire Nation. The war destroyed more than just one side, but you all were too busy focusing on your own to notice. I'm not saying you were wrong, I'm not even saying that it upsets me. I didn't think the Fire Nation was right either."
"Then why did you fight?" Katara asked desperately. She didn't understand what Ty Lee was getting at. She felt an unsettling grip on her chest and nothing seemed like it should be. She doubted a lot of things right now and feeling as unstable as she was didn't help.
"We all choose our sides Katara. I chose hers." Katara simply stood in awe of Ty Lee's words. Katara's mind was tumultuous and Ty Lee stated her position as if it was the clearest answer in the world.
Ty Lee observed the dumbstruck look on her new friend's face. She smiled as she said, "I already told you, you don't understand her."
The waterbender glared at her as if to say, 'then explain it to me already!'
Ty Lee's smile softened and the far away gaze returned to her eyes. "You misunderstood me when I said Humanity is more than compassion. All her life, she's known little more than suffering, pain, and cruelty."
"Yes I know that!" Katara spat, clearly growing frustrated. She had yet to hear any reason to relent her opinion on the cruel firebender. "I've witnessed it firsthand!"
"I mean that's what her life has been."
Katara just blinked.
"Everything she's done, she learned through experience. She'd been manipulated by her father ever since she was a child. She was fed on loyalty and nationalism, groomed to be nothing but a weapon, and disciplined as a tool and nothing more. Do you wonder why she never smiled, a true warm, happy smile?" she didn't wait for an answer. "She wasn't happy. She didn't know there was such a thing. Not until…" Ty Lee shook her head.
"You think Zuko is great don't you." Katara unknowingly blushed. "He was a traitor to his country. Azula didn't have that option. Duty to her country was all she ever knew. He made sure of that. Her father made sure that firebending and war were the only things that mattered. He left his lessons on her skin." Katara was in a daze, her head was foggy and her mind couldn't reconcile what she was hearing. All her thoughts had only ever worked to de-humanize Azula, but this…this was changing the story. She barely noticed when Ty Lee clenched her fists and raised her voice.
"You weren't born in the Fire Nation." Ty Lee looked away, composing herself once again. "You don't understand what she was to us, to an entire nation. She was our prodigy. Our shining Princess, foretold to win the war. What else could she do? She was our hope."
Katara vaguely thought of Aang and the hope he had inspired around the world. How could she ever see Azula like that? But she saw something, just for a second. There was a deep and powerful admiration flashed in Ty Lee's eyes and was gone, replaced with the same even expression.
"You must know…" She said quietly, "What it feels like to have thousands bowing at your feet, placing their trust and lives in your hands. Didn't it inspire you? When you thought you couldn't do it anymore, didn't it force you?" There was a strain edging out of her voice now. "That's the world you saw. A destiny before you, one only you could fulfill, one you had to. When you joined Aang, it became the only would you knew." She looked Katara dead in the eyes. "That's the only world she knew. It was just on the other side of yours. Why did that make her so wrong?"
"She murdered people." Katara hissed.
Ty Lee stiffened visibly. Katara saw something red drip from Ty Lee's fist. Then she noticed the girl was shaking. The waterbender felt a pit of worry in her stomach.
"She never killed anyone." Ty Lee was seething. Katara gulped. Never had she imagined she would fear Ty Lee in this way. The acrobat looked ready to tear her head off and very well may have been capable of doing so with that look alone. She was in such a state of panic; Katara hadn't noticed the pain in the other girl's voice.
It took her a full ten seconds to realize that Ty Lee had started crying. It wasn't the girl's usual childish tears. She was absolutely distraught.
"I made sure of that." Ty Lee voiced, straining to keep the sobs out of her statement.
Ty Lee hiccupped. She was surprisingly still standing, but had her arms clutched tightly around her chest. She was straining with everything she had to hold onto something. Ty Lee felt herself crashing and everything around her with it. She had never wanted to think of that day again. That day changed everything. She had run away, unable to face the repercussions of her actions, even after the war was through. She knew Azula never wanted to see her again.
But there she was again, facing the scene in faded images right before her. Azula was hurt. Then she was seething and could only see red. The words Mai carelessly threw at the Princess would be her last. They were the ones she had feared and loathed the most, branding her a monster incapable of love.
Ty Lee watched as the transparent image of her Princess raise her stance, readying a lethal blow. The image of Mai drew her knives, matching Azula's glare. Just as she did that day, Ty Lee lurched inside with instincts to protect both of her beloved friends. The fear incased her as she glanced back and forth, the dreamlike scene tearing her in two. She clamped her eyes shut, it was a choice she had made long ago. Her heart shattered, bursting apart in her chest imbedding like shrapnel, ripping her to shreds. The damage was irreparable. It was just as painful as the first time and every time she'd relived it after that.
She told herself over and over again that it was worth it as she watched her everything fall to the ground with the most painful shock on her face. There it was. Ty Lee saw in the imploding expression laced in her Princess's eyes, a single thought, 'I am a monster'.
Katara watched Ty Lee debilitate before her. The acrobat fell to a squat and clutched onto her head with both hands, willing the images to cease with all her might. She felt something break within herself as Ty Lee released a heart wrenching screech, echoing in an unbearable symphony of tragedy.
The two stayed unmoving, aside from Ty Lee's rocking back and forth, still in a squat, hands now wrapped tight around her knees. Katara remained silent, waiting for the girl to speak again.
"I-I couldn't…" A soft mumbling escaped the recovering girl's lips. "I-I couldn't let her do it."
For the first time in half an hour, Ty Lee's eyes met Katara's. A tumult of emotion billowed from her broken expression. It was a decision that Ty Lee had agonized over for four years. She had, for the most part, tried to forget it after reasoning had failed. It was one of the main reasons she'd left to join the Kyoshi Warriors. Similar to Azula's firebending, the training served as a way out. When she fought, the pain couldn't hit her. Sorrow moved slowly and trapped you like sap, sticking to your body and dragging you back. Ty Lee had since attempted to remain in motion, running, smiling, and flipping away from the memories that haunted her.
Now everything she'd tried to escape bombarded her. Everything she hid behind a smile, poured from her face. Katara realized Ty Lee was much deeper than she could have ever imagined.
"I had to save her." She confessed, nearly breathlessly.
"Mai?" Katara offered softly, finally feeling on common ground with her friend again.
Ty Lee looked at her, confusion flashed across her face before she shook her head.
"'Zula. I had to save Azula."
Katara was baffled.
"She thought she was a monster. That's what people told her, how people looked at her." Ty Lee looked away. She couldn't continue while meeting Katara's eyes. It was too painful from here. "She couldn't sleep sometimes. She always had this question. She asked me once, if I thought she had a soul." There was faint sniffling in her voice. "Can you imagine Katara? A fourteen year old girl, asked me if she had a soul!"
Katara paused. She tried to remember her encounters of Azula. She had always seemed so cruel. She had to wonder herself if the girl had a soul. Ty Lee had trailed off too, sensing the dispute in Katara. She fought to glare back at the girl.
"She has one!" She was shouting now. "You think it's easy to label her a monster and then dismiss her! She was a child Katara. She's still only eighteen now! Yet you call her a hardened criminal, a murderer? I will bet that you killed more people than her."
Katara opened her mouth, but was cut off by Ty Lee.
"Don't act like you're innocent. There are casualties in war. How many people do you think you drowned when you attacked Fire Nation ships? How many with your water whips? Ice daggers?"
Katara just stared helplessly.
"Azula took prisoners Katara. We accounted for every single one. Can you say the same?"
Flashes of sinking ships and Fire Nation guards and soldiers being slammed against walls played in her mind. She just ran past them, she never checked to make sure they were alive. She imagined shards of ice stabbing through armor and blood seeping from wounds. She gridded her teeth, how on earth was she being compared to Azula?
"She killed Aang!" Katara should back.
"He's alive isn't he?"
She had nothing to say to that.
"Honestly Katara, I don't care. You did your duty, fulfilled your destiny. She tried to also, but she just didn't win. So you are the water tribe ambassador, Aang is the keeper of peace between the nations, and Zuko, who switched sides at the very end is Fire Lord. But you all fought! You all did what the world required of you. She was no different! But she's buried under fifty feet of dirt and rock, chained to a wall and stripped of her damn humanity! For what Katara? For what!"
The demands hit her like stones. She thought of Azula as a monster. It was easy that way. She was the enemy and evil by most standards, but she never thought to wonder why. It was simple, she was a monster. She de-humanized her.
Tears fell freely from the acrobats eyes. She wanted answers. These questions and unspoken words had milled within her at every still moment. Azula was a girl just like them, but she couldn't be free. They didn't see her for what she was; they just locked her away from the world, the world that never accepted her from the start.
"Ty Lee…" Katara had no idea what to say. She couldn't think of a single answer for the acrobat. She'd never felt more unsure of anything in her life. Azula was dangerous. The girl was beyond help now, and letting her out would only cause trouble. She only had more questions. "Why do you care about her so much…She threw you in jail to rot."
Ty Lee cringed harshly. It was another memory she wished to forget. She took a deep breath, trying to let the old wound go. She repeated the question in her head, why do I care about her so much…
She couldn't help it. After everything, after all those years, a serene smile crept across her features as her eyelids relaxed softly.
"She's amazing. She's the strongest person I ever knew and it was more than just her bending. She had a confidence that made you feel like she could do anything. She was so driven, so inspiring. She's loyal too. She'd never let anything happen to you." Ty Lee spoke in a daze. It was like she was dreaming again and her Princess stood before her in all her former glory.
"Then there's this whole other side to her. She's tragic, even if she won't show it. And somehow, she pushes through it all. She did it all, accomplished everything. And I've seen her do it all. She's suffered and carried the weight of an entire nation on her own two shoulders, and she held it with everything she had. She…she's done everything that's ever been asked of her..."
"She's the most incredible person I know...She's…perfect."
Katara eyed the girl strangely. She could have been delusional. The way Ty Lee praised her she truly could have been brainwashed. Ty Lee didn't notice or didn't care.
"She's beautiful you know. She'd never let you see it, but…She's absolutely breath taking. She's in every way a Princess, graceful, talented, and beautiful." She paused, her tone changing. "Then…there's this softer side to her when she's alone. She has this, longing in her eyes, like she's desperately trying to hold on to something, something more. And when she looks at you with those amber eyes, they need you…and all you've ever known wants to fill that void, if she'd let you. You've waited for that moment, and you'd wait forever if you had to. And you race, how you race to get to her arms before someone else sees and her cool exterior sets in again.
"When you finally get there in time and you wrap your arms around her she lights up. You're world just stops and there's warmth around you that you've never known. Something is finally right in the world…and you think you'd do anything, just anything to feel it for one more moment…"
Ty Lee opened her eyes slowly and met Katara's bewildered ones. There was no denying the absolute honesty that radiated in Ty Lee's expression. The waterbender would have convinced herself that the acrobat must have been delusional or under some sort of spell, but she couldn't shake the clarity in her eyes. It was as if she could see it all through the eyes of Ty Lee.
"I know you think I'm crazy Katara, but there is something inside of Azula." The acrobat said quietly, much in the way the conversation had started. "It was mine… once."
Katara could have cried for Ty Lee then. Earlier she could not understand Ty Lee's devotion to the evil Princess. She would have called it sick, but after seeing it, she couldn't think anything that matched its beauty.
The distant look recaptured Ty Lee's gaze as she spoke, "How could I let her lose the fragile soul that she had?"
She understood, Katara understood.
Many close to the acrobat had always wondered why she had betrayed Azula. They all settled with the simple answer Ty Lee let them believe, that it was to save her friend, now Fire Lady Mai. Katara now knew it was a much harder reason than that. Ty Lee acted to stop Azula from letting herself become the soulless monster everyone believed her to be. That she had believed she was. It was always and endless battle. No matter how hard Ty Lee had tried to reassure Azula, Mai's final quip had pushed her right over the edge.
It really hadn't mattered what Ty Lee did at that point. Had she not acted that day, Azula would have become a killer and forfeited her soul. With her action, Azula could think nothing but that Ty Lee had chosen Mai over her, once more assuring her status as an unloved monster.
The moment the scene materialized before her, Ty Lee knew there was no way out. Some battles could not be won.
If she had to, Ty Lee would have gone on loving Azula even if she killed Mai. There was nothing that would ever change her feelings for the Princess. They had surpassed any bounds. The moment her soul had touched Azula's that evening in the forest so many years ago, she knew nothing on heaven or earth could destroy that bond. Her soul was tied irrevocably to her Princess.
But when that moment had come she found herself without a choice. She was compelled to act, never, would she ever let her Azula lose herself for that reason. She would protect Azula's last innocence, the only one she wasn't stripped of. She would protect it with her life. Even if acting meant losing her forever, she couldn't let Azula kill Mai and be lost in torment forever. It was a simple choice.
Just like this one was now.
Ty Lee gathered herself and stood to face Katara once more. She drew her long green sleeves across her face, wiping the tears from her slightly red and puffy eyes.
Katara was still recovering from the turbulent emotions that had literally turned her world upside down. She eyed the watched the acrobat cautiously, finally remembering what had brought them down to the dungeons in the first place. The waterbender was immensely conflicted. Everything Ty Lee had said to her struck a chord in Katara's being, whether through common sense or plain compassion. That didn't mean however, that she could disregard everything she believed for the past four years. She hesitated when Ty Lee stepped forward.
"I can't let you take her." Katara worded warily.
Ty Lee almost smirked. "I wasn't asking for permission."
Katara awoke the next day feeling very groggy. Her head was really sore and she must have slept in a very awkward position because several of her limbs were asleep. She opened her eyes, blinking just a few times before adjusting to the low lighting. She startled to see the face of Aang and Zuko hovering above her.
"What the- What are you guys doing in my room!" She shrieked grasping for her sheets that weren't there.
The two looked at her oddly, then at each other, and back at her again.
"Uh, Katara, we're in the dungeons." Aang explained to the increasingly confused girl.
"Yeah," Zuko's raspy voice filled the empty hallway, "And would you like to explain why my guards are knocked out and why my sister is missing?"
Katara shot up and ran down the hall to the Princess's cell. Azula was gone. Katara groaned as the events of last night replayed in her mind, right up until Ty Lee had moved before she could summon any water, blocking her chi points rendering her unconscious.
She heard the light steps of Aang running down the hall after her. He was followed by Zuko who walked towards them with his hands behind his back. They both wanted an explanation.
She told them everything. About sneaking into the prison to wait for Ty Lee, watching her take out the guards, and confronting her before she reached Azula. She told them about their conversation, both as surprised as she was at the acrobat's insights.
Though Mai had told Zuko about Ty Lee and Azula's involvement, he was shocked and interested to hear how deep the attachment was. Like Mai, he had always thought it was more manipulation than anything else. He wasn't as entirely convinced like Katara, the girl was very trusting after all, but Ty Lee knew his sister better than anyone. Although he wasn't happy about the breakout, he wasn't as worried as he imagined he would be.