Chapter 3: Decisions

A/N: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. (In other words – I don't own it, I'm just playing). Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! Thanks to my beta FE71SH for working the magic.

- EPOV -

"What are we going to do about her?" Jasper asked for the fifteenth time. We'd been discussing the threat of the unknown vampire the entire afternoon, and much of the early evening.

Almost immediately after we arrived back at the house, Jasper and I had gone from room to room to determine the depth of her infiltration. Her scent was on almost everything in the common areas, and for some reason was most concentrated in my room. Neither of us could understand how she had been able to get so close to our house and our family – to me – without our knowledge. How could we not have seen or heard her? How did I not hear her thoughts, or Jasper feel her emotions? We could only assume she was talented somehow. By the time we had finally agreed to try to track her down for answers, she was long gone. We followed her scent for a good twenty miles before stopping and turning back towards home. We were at a lost. The one thing we needed to know was the one thing we couldn't determine - whether she was a threat. I hadn't heard a single thought from her. Each time Alice tried to get a vision of her, the future just disappeared. Jasper was too overwhelmed with our stress to be able to get any read on her emotions from such a distance. When we'd returned to the house again, we had started our discussion and everyone else had joined in. It had been going for hours and kept circling around itself.

"What can we do?" I asked. I was feeling disconcerted. I hated not knowing. I hated the feeling that I was missing some vital piece of information. That I was missing chucks of my past.

"We move," Jasper responded without pause. He had been arguing this from the minute we'd started talking. Ever the strategist, he saw the vampire as too strong a threat for us to face with little to no intelligence about her. The fact that it had been Alice who had ended up alone in the woods with the female played heavily into his decision.

"But why? I know we don't know who she is, but she didn't hurt Alice. I don't think she meant to."

"Then why was Alice out there alone with her? And why can't Alice remember going outside with her?" Jasper snapped back.

"I don't know, Jasper," I said, exasperated. That was the problem we kept coming back to. I didn't know. None of us knew. There was nothing we could do to find out anything more. I just couldn't see the logic in moving, at least not for a few weeks. I felt it was more prudent to wait and see if she returned, and deal with it if she did. Obviously, it would require constant attention and high alert, but I felt it would be worth it. Every part of me desired to stay. To wait and see what happened with the Volturi visit, and the female. I buried my head in my hands. Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Regardless of the danger of the girl, you know that if we leave now the Volturi will interpret it as a sign of guilt," Alice said, finally. I had seen Alice's vision regarding the Volturi and knew this for a fact. Jasper knew it too, but he was more concerned with the unknown threat of the female and didn't care about the potential risk of the Volturi ire. "They'll assume we are fleeing from them. We have done nothing wrong - we don't want them to think that we have."

"Why are they even coming?" Rosalie interjected.

"I couldn't tell from the vision," Alice replied. "Not really. There seems to be some rumour going around about us, but it's absurd."

"What is it?" Esme asked.

I groaned almost silently into my hands. I knew what Alice had seen in her vision and the rumour was sure to hurt Esme.

"Apparently they have heard some rumours of -" Alice paused, she seemed as unwilling to speak the words as me "- of Edward's bride." Her voice was almost silent when she finished. I could hear the audible gasps around the room, but the thoughts that accompanied them were worse.

Esme's mind filled with hope that maybe there was some chance I would find someone soon. She made a mental note to ask Carlisle later whether anyone in the Volturi shared Alice's gift. I knew from the look on Aro's face in Alice's vision that none did. He coveted her as much as he did me. I couldn't tell Esme that though, not with the joy that was currently coursing through her mind. I couldn't explain to her that there was no one that would ever capture my interest in that way. As that thought crossed my mind, I saw a sudden flash of chocolate brown eyes meeting mine across a cafeteria, but it was gone before I could try to concentrate on it. I scanned my family's minds to see if the vision had come from anyone else, but I already knew the answer. The picture had come from within my own mind, but I couldn't capture it. It was like trying to stare at a faded photograph. The harder I tried, the less I saw.

"They could just be coming to America for another reason," Emmett said, distracting me from my thoughts.

"Does it matter?" I asked. "The result is the same. If they think we're running, they will assume we have something to hide."

"But we don't," Rosalie huffed.

"Exactly," I said, knowing that Rosalie was my one ally in my desire to stay where we were.

"We don't have to decide right now," Carlisle offered. "We can just wait and see."

"Or maybe, we can go meet them head-on?" Jasper suggested. "Show them we have nothing to hide."

"And then what?" I asked. Going to Volterra wouldn't change the possible threat of the female, and she was the reason Jasper wanted to run.

"And then... we see what happens. Alice can keep an eye on the house, if the female doesn't return maybe we can come back here."

I knew that his concession would be enough to sway Rosalie, and Alice was already thinking about the shopping in Italy. With that, the rest of my family had their minds made up. I closed my eyes and decided I would follow their decision. The future spun in Alice's mind. The vision was similar to the one of them coming here, except it was in a more controlled environment. There was no risk of the brunette coming unannounced. The Volturi would ask about my wife and find out it was all a fabrication. They would offer Alice and I spots on the guard, we would refuse, and then we would be free to go.

I debated telling everyone to go without me, but as soon as the thought crossed my mind Alice's eyes snapped to me and I saw the consequences for everyone. Something about me trying to keep my bride hidden. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of their assumptions, but at the same time my cold, dead heart ached for...something.

After we had agreed on our course of action, my family retreated to their own nightly activities. I decided I might as well retreat to my own room and try to find some peace of mind. I leafed through my journals, trying to find reminders of the memories I had lost, something – anything - to fill the gaps. But they were suspiciously silent for the last twenty-seven years. I had a journal for every year of my life from the time I was reborn up until about two years after we moved to Forks. Then they stopped. I frowned. I couldn't understand why I would just stop writing my thoughts on page – I did it religiously every night. I needed something to share myself with. I had no significant other with whom to share my life so my journals took on that role. It wasn't as if I had anything else to occupy my nights. I threw the books across the room in frustration and turned to my bed to lie down. I paused, aware that it was a bizarre, almost human, reaction, to seek the comfort of a bed when I was upset. I never had before. The venom running through my veins chilled as the more staggering concern hit me. Why did I even have a bed? I had never needed one before. Why now? I tried to remember what had led to the decision to purchase one and found that it was one of the mysterious holes in my memory. I growled in frustration. I hated feeling this...lost.

It felt as though something precious had been ripped away from me and in a way it had, my mind. My sanity lay in tattered ruins and I couldn't shake the feeling the female was somehow responsible. I rubbed my face hard. I decided to shower and change for no other reason than to give me something to do. I pulled my drawers out and stood staring blankly at the contents. My brow furrowed at what I saw. All of my clothes and belongings were there, but they rested to one side as if something had sat beside them until recently. I slammed the drawer shut.

I couldn't stay in the room anymore. It was driving me insane. There were so many unexplained items, like the bed, and the large photo of the meadow I used to retreat to in Forks. I couldn't understand why I would have a photo of that place. I enjoyed going there when we lived it Forks because it was the one place in the town I could go for near complete solitude, where the thoughts and voices of the townspeople didn't drive me crazy, but I didn't feel such a strong attraction to it that I would need a photo. At least, I never used to. As I stared at the photo my body had strange reactions that my mind couldn't understand. It was almost as if my body knew something about that place that my mind no longer recalled.

I threw open the window and was outside amongst the forest within seconds. I wasn't sure where I was going or what I wanted, but I soon found myself at the place where we had found Alice earlier. The scent of the unknown female still clung to the air. I followed it back along the path we had traced earlier. I couldn't recall ever having smelled anything as glorious as her scent. I couldn't even begin to explain how pleasant the aroma was. It was almost floral – like freesias or lavender – but much more divine.

My mind began to ponder her. I wondered how her venom would taste on my tongue. How her hands would feel on my skin. My body reacted instinctively. I felt myself growing hard. I couldn't shake the thoughts, or what they did to my body. I longed to know the answers to the questions running through my head. Worse, I longed for the female, even though I had no reason to and knew nothing about her. I tried to will away my excitement, but it continued to grow as I drank deeply of the scent. I did something I had never really done before, something which both excited and disgusted me. I palmed myself and began to stroke.

I laid down in the dirt, surrounded by the mixed scents of the female and I. I felt utterly exhausted emotionally. I closed my eyes and the image of brown eyes filled my mind. I tried not to concentrate on them this time, instead allowing my body to take control of the actions of my hand and the image to flit through my mind unfettered.

That was the first night I spent with my dream girl.

In my mind I mixed the scent of the stranger, and her chestnut locks and slim figure, with the chocolate brown eyes that seemed to hold questions and mysteries that would take countless hours, days – maybe even years, to unravel. I rolled it all up into one package to create my ideal mate.

The first rays of dawn were just breaking over the horizon before I began to stir again. For the first time that I could remember, I hadn't counted the passing hours between my family's individual retreats to the time I would have company again. Instead I shared myself with my fantasy. I had whispered to her. Voicing my frustrations and telling her of the struggles I had felt all day, of the strange co-incidences and extra belongings that I didn't remember.

Once I felt the warmth of the sun on my face, I opened my eyes and sat up. As I looked around I noticed something to the left of where I had lain all night. In the hollow of a tree sat a piece of cloth. I moved to examine it, before picking it up gently. It was a deep blue v-neck blouse. I ran it through my fingers. It was soft and silky to touch. I brought it to my face, it smelled of the unknown vampire. The material was old, the blouse worn and faded in places. I looked around for anything else. I wasn't sure if this had been left behind accidentally or on purpose. If it was left deliberately I couldn't figure out why. I decided it wasn't worth worrying about, and it definitely wasn't worth mentioning to my family. I tucked the blouse into the back of my pants and ran the short distance home. I scaled the wall straight into my room and tucked the blouse in my bottom drawer, but not before inhaling the scent one last time.

A week later we were at JFK airport boarding a flight to Italy. We'd packaged all our belongings up and put them into storage. Jasper was adamant about moving as soon as we arrived back in the country. I was still adamant about returning to the house we had in Rochester. He was concerned the unknown female would come back. I was worried she might not. I thought about the blouse I had found. It was tucked away in my suitcase. Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to leave it behind when it came time to pack.

I had spent every night lying on the bed, that I still didn't remember buying or wanting, with that blouse next to me. The scent of the other vampire was almost washed out because of how often I handled it but something compelled me to pull it back out each night. And whatever that something was, it was the same thing that compelled me to close my eyes and fantasise about my dream girl. Each night since that first I had whispered to her things I would have told my significant other... if I had one. I found I continued my silence when it came to my journals. I hadn't touched them once, despite discovering the threat of the Volturi visit and the unknown vampire.

The rest of my family were on a high about our visit to Italy. We knew there was nothing for us to fear from them, we had no idea why they thought I was married but we were confident the misunderstanding would be ironed out quickly and we would be able to enjoy a small holiday before heading back home and deciding what to do about the real threat. Regardless of the concerns my family held, I wanted to meet her. I wanted to break the spell her scent seemed to weave over me - the more it faded around the house, the more I longed desperately for another hit.

I heard my name called by six different minds simultaneously. It was about the only thing that could pull me out of my deep train of thought. The plane was boarding and apparently I had been so out of it I hadn't even heard the announcement. I sighed and walked onto the airplane. I didn't have a carry-on bag. I had nothing I needed on-board the flight. I wouldn't even need headphones, there was nothing that could capture my interest the way the one image that had been playing on repeat could. Brown eyes, deep pools that I felt I could stare at all day.

The hours melded into one another, time lurched and stopped in funny patterns. Hours would pass in a heartbeat and then seconds would last forever. I couldn't understand the reason behind it, but then, I couldn't care enough to try to. All I knew was suddenly the time had come for facing the Volturi. My family walked in and greeted them as old friends. We were treated as distinguished guests and before he had the opportunity to touch one of us Aro raised his hand to stop us.

"You appear to be a family member short, Carlisle, old friend."

We were expecting this sort of question. Carlisle stepped forward, offering his hand. "As much as it saddens me that my eldest son has not found anyone to share his life with, I have but seven in my family, Aro. Anyone telling you different is sadly ill-informed."

Aro stepped forward and clasped Carlisle's hand. I saw his thoughts as he read every single memory Carlisle had since the last time they had seen each other. Aro seemed satisfied that Carlisle was telling the truth, but as predicted he was incredibly interested to discover my talent, and Alice's. He frowned a little at Carlisle's patchy memory of the last twenty-seven years.

Finally he laughed. "Well, there's a first. A vampire with memory-loss."

Carlisle joined in the laughter, despite his concern that it was something the Volturi Lord had never seen before. "I would blame old-age, but unfortunately it seems to have inflicted even the younger members of my family."

"Ah, well, never mind," Aro said. "We'll get you settled in, can we interest you in some room service? I imagine it was a very long flight."

I shuddered in disgust at the images in his thoughts. I saw a similar shudder run through Carlisle as he correctly interpreted Aro's words. "Thank-you, but we should be alright for the length of our stay. And if not, I am sure the forests around here will provide plenty of opportunities for us."

Aro clapped and laughed. "Still so dedicated to your unique life-style I see?"

Carlisle simply shrugged. Aro led out of the throne-room and towards the guest quarters. I knew from his thoughts this task would generally have been handed off to one of the lesser guard members, but he was performing it today in order to have an excuse for spending time with Alice and myself to learn more about our abilities. I kept a close eye on Alice for any sign of a change in decisions that would change our future.

For a number of days, nothing happened. My family continued to enjoy their holiday in Italy, and I continued to be tormented by desires and thoughts I couldn't comprehend. Aro spent his time studying Alice and I, and attempting to persuade us, but when he saw how committed we were to our family he stopped. His thoughts revealed a genuine desire for our talents, but a patience existed within him too. He was confident that if he waited long enough, a hundred years or even two, we would see his point of view and join his guard. When you had lived as long as he, that length of time was little more than the blink of an eye.

We had been in Italy for a little over a week, and were almost due to go home when everything changed. It was the deep of night, I was talking to my dream girl and blocking out everyone's thoughts as best as I could when Alice came crashing into my room. I stood immediately and focused on her mind. She showed me her vision. I gasped. Jasper had been right. The brunette was back. And based on the damage she was inflicting on our house - it was clear she meant us harm.