Title: Twilight's Edge
Author: Inkcharm
Summary: An innocent training session goes horribly wrong for Zuko
Warnings: Post-TBR, blood, angst
Disclaimer: The TV show "Avatar - The Last Airbender" does not belong to me, nor do its characters or anything related to the show. I make no profit out of this story, it is written merely for fun and entertainment of other fans.
Part: 4/9
A/N: I started writing this before Book 3 Ep 16 aired, so any canon-events happening after The Boiling Rock will be ignored for the sake of the storyline.

Twilight's Edge
Chapter 4: Scratches

The surface was rough and jagged. It was an unnerving feeling to have it gliding along beneath his fingertips. It reminded him of a landscape, valleys and hills and canyons. He leaned closer, wondering how close he'd have to get to feel the coolness of the stone reflected on his face. Unfortunately, though, he still had trouble judging distances and scraped his forehead on the rough texture.

Wincing, Zuko backed away, though he kept his fingertips attached to the wall. He felt like such a fool.

The feeling of claustrophobia and paranoia had been forced down enough for him to feel restless. He did not enjoy lying in bed without any use for so long. So he had started trying to adapt. What use was there in self-pity, right? He could just as well make an attempt to be able to move through his room on his own. He just needed to do something, anything, to prove himself.

So far he had survived, though barely. His shins were throbbing from hitting various objects – the bed itself, a chair, the chest holding his meagre belongings – and he was pretty sure he had knocked out quite a few brain cells, because he kept banging his head against the wall.

Zuko had the mad urge to slip back into the bed, pull the blanket over his head and hide. But he was too proud to do that.

Besides, he shuddered to think that he'd actually have to find his way back to the bed in order to do that.

His not very successful exploring had not improved his situation at all. Of course he knew the approximate dimensions of his room and had an idea of where everything was placed. But somehow, the knowledge that his bed might be and was probably somewhere behind him did not do much to help him at all.

Taking a deep breath, Zuko moved again, sideways, always sideways along the wall. The door should be there… somewhere… and even though he doubted he was capable of actually leaving the room and finding his way out of the temple, he just wanted to reach the door, maybe open it and poke his head out.

There. A crack and then wood. The door.

Now he had to locate the handle. Zuko's fingertips glided downwards, lower, lower, too low. He frowned. There should have been a handle somewhere. His fingers started searching the wood more quickly. It should be somewhere about that height. Frantically his hands moved over the wood until he grabbed the handle finally. Far more to the right than he had thought. Frustration welled up in him. This was so unfair. He wasn't even capable of locating the door handle. How was he supposed to DO anything?

Zuko's fist connected with the wood and he growled. At least the pain from bruising his knuckles distracted him somewhat from the pain that was pulsing through his eyes and face. Angry with himself and Katara and the world, he whirled around and strode back towards the bed.

He stopped himself in the middle of the room.

Had he been striding towards the bed? Zuko frowned. He was pretty sure he had turned around a full 180 degrees, but still. The feeling of disorientation did not cease. He cursed and stretched out both hands, before carefully walking forwards, hoping to feel a wall before he hit something else.

He hit the bed first.

Cursing, Zuko lowered himself onto it slowly and let his fingertips wander down his leg, until he could place his hand over the throbbing bruise.

Blazing Agni, blast it all to the North Pole and beyond.

Right now he felt the old, familiar anger bubbling inside of him, the desire to set something aflame burning in his mind. Damn the Sun Warriors and the true way of firebending, he felt like he his insides were being scorched from pain and anger and utter rage and frustration.

The door was straight ahead. Zuko got up, rushed towards it, tore it open and was out in the hallway in a matter of seconds. If only he could see!

He turned back to the door, took three steps to the side and placed his hands flat on the wall. Then he backed away, slowly and carefully, until his back touched the opposite wall. He let fire run through his veins and blasted it against the stone full force.

For a moment he thought he could see the flickering flames through the blindfold.

When he realized he had only imagined it, he sank to his knees and slowly curled his hands into fists. Complete and utter darkness. It was just the blindfold. He was not really blind. His vision was impaired, true, but it would heal. Everything would be fine.

Zuko was shaking.

He would not give in to this. He was stronger than that. So he pushed himself to his feet again and held out his hands to steady himself. There, no problem, he just had to stop mentally relying on his vision. It could not be that hard. Still holding his hands out before him he started to walk and corrected his direction when he reached the wall. Then he started walking in a parallel line to it, fingertips always in touch with the rough stone. He would make it. He knew the way outside. He did not need to see the hallways in order to walk through them.

Zuko stumbled and went down when his foot caught on something.

He should have remembered that the ground was uneven.

For quite some time Zuko simply stumbled along, trying to remember which way to turn at each intersection and trying to avoid crashing face-first into the floor again. It did not help the pain much.

Mildly put, the whole affair was more than frustrating. Just yesterday he had been able to walk the way from his room to the platform outside without any trouble whatsoever. There had not even be a reason to think about which way to go. Now he had to stop at every turn and concentrate on remembering the way. It took so horribly long.

Zuko stopped and leaned against the wall. There were no sounds except for his own laboured breathing, his insecure footsteps and their echoes in the empty hallways, all unnaturally loud to his ears. Trembling fingers touched the bandage across his eyes.

He couldn't take this anymore. Making out vague shapes was better than being blind, right? That way, he wouldn't feel all that helpless… right? And it could not do that much irrevocable damage… … right?

Slowly, he pulled the bandage down. His eyes, closed by instinct, since he didn't need them underneath the bandage anyway, fluttered open.

Darkness.

Zuko swallowed. That was not blindness. There was just no light in this corridor. Something warm was running down his cheek. He did not want to know whether it was blood or tears.

His breathing was shaky as he lifted one hand. Just a small flame. The tiniest flicker. It would confirm that he was not really blind. He simply could not be.

Swallowing the irrational fear seeping through his veins, he tapped the source of energy and heat deep within himself. Warmth tingled inside of him, liquid fire ran down his right arm. Zuko relaxed with the familiar feeling and took his time appreciating it. The fire reached his wrist, spread into his hand. He guided it into his index fingertip.

A tiny flame flickered to life.

A scream tore its way violently from his throat. Zuko let the flame die and jumped backwards into the wall. The moment the flame had lit pain had exploded in his eyes, in his head, in his nerves, setting them ablaze with a fire he did not welcome. Screaming and crying, Zuko slid down the wall and pressed his hands against his eyes.

Agni, the PAIN!

It would not stop. It burned inside of him and he knew nothing else anymore.

"No", he whimpered, raking his fingernails over his face, his forehead, his eyes, down his cheeks. He could feel himself tearing the skin, drawing blood, but he did not care, he could not focus, he could not think. There was just the pain, the horrible pain coming from his eyes and searing through his face, through his skull and right into his core, and he needed it to stop right now, right here.

After endless minutes, a different kind of darkness finally took him. With a last tortured sound falling from his lips, Zuko slid sideways and had lost consciousness by the time he hit the ground.

"Leave me alone."

"We can't, Zuko."

The bandage was back across his face, along with a healing salve for the scratches. Tears and blood had been washed away with great care. Upon waking, Zuko had discovered he was back in his bed – at least, he figured it had to be his bed. He couldn't really tell. For a second he wondered if it had all been a bad dream. And then the horrible pain – though lessened now – had returned and he had registered that someone was in the room with him. At least his other senses were slowly catching up with the lack of sight.

Obviously, the others had heard him screaming and located him quickly enough with Toph's help. They had brought him back into his room and patched him up alright. Now Toph and Suki were with him and refused to back off.

"You need help, Zuko. I know you don't want it, I can even understand, but it doesn't change the fact that you are in no condition to be alone at the moment."

Zuko lay with his back to the girls, curled in on himself.

"I don't want company."

Toph snorted and spoke up. "And I don't want to be stuck in the no-fun-zone. Guess we won't get our will today."

Suki placed a hand on the smaller girl's shoulder and shook her head ever so slightly. Sarcasm would only rile Zuko up further when they needed him to see reason. But she had not lied, she could understand him. Knowing herself, she realized she would probably take things even worse than him. The firebender was confused and hurt to the point that he clamped down on everything and wanted the world to disappear.

"I learned my lesson", Zuko snapped. "Trying to look at things – pain. I get it. Won't try it again. You don't need to babysit me."

"Oh, we don't? So you won't get lost in the temple again?"

"I wasn't lost, I was on my way…"

"To the unstable part of it, yes."

Zuko opened his mouth to answer and then stopped himself. On his way to the unstable part of the temple? Impossible. He was sure he had been on the way out. He knew the way from his room to the outer platforms! There was no way he had been lost, no way he had been heading in the opposite direction.

Or was there? He had been on his way for a curiously long time without coming close enough to the fountain to hear the rushing water.

"Fine", he growled finally, teeth clenched and pride wounded severely once again. "I won't leave the room. I won't move an inch. Now go."

Both Suki and Toph were ready to argue with him, but Hakoda stopped them. He had stood in the doorway for a while in silence. Now he gently pushed the girls from the room and remained standing in the doorway, his gaze resting on Zuko.

"I can hear you breathing, you know?" Zuko remarked. Not only that he had heard two pairs of feet leaving the room, he was also well aware of a third person staying behind. And from the way Suki and Toph had left without arguing he could also guess that the person in the room had to be Hakoda. Damn his luck for getting him stuck with another father-figure. As if the memory of his uncle wasn't enough to torture him.

The mattress dipped, as Hakoda sat down. One of his calloused hands rested on Zuko's bare ankle, giving a light squeeze.

"You're hurting." It was not a question. "You will heal, Zuko. You just need to give it some time. Don't rush it."

Zuko sat up, one hand pressed to the wall for support, balance and in order to not loose orientation again. He turned his head in the general direction of Hakoda's voice. "We don't have time!" he snarled. "The comet isn't going to wait until my eyes decide to work again! The comet isn't going to wait until I quit stumbling around, the comet isn't going to wait until I can teach Aang firebending again!"

"You mean the comet isn't going to wait for you to stop being useless."

For a moment Zuko was silent. Then he just confirmed what Hakoda suspected with a nod. Yes, he did feel useless in this state. How could he not? He couldn't bend properly, he couldn't fight with his swords, he couldn't even leave the room on his own. He was crippled beyond his own comprehension. He did not remember much about waking up after the Agni Kai with his father, but he remembered that the second his terrified scream had echoed through the halls, a dozen servants had been there to tend to his needs. It had in no way taken away the terror of waking with one eye bandaged heavily, but it had eased the feeling of helplessness. Back then, he had been more than willing to let himself be soothed by the presence of servants, believing that no matter what happened, at least he was not completely alone. Of course, that was when he had not yet known about his banishment. However, now he was at a point where others depended on him, and Zuko couldn't burden them by depending on them in turn. The Avatar and his friends had enough to worry about as it was.

They couldn't be bothered with tending to a blind firebender.

"They need to leave immediately", Zuko concluded. "They have to start looking all over for a new firebending teacher. Aang needs to learn so much until he's ready to face my fa-... the Fire Lord and… and…"

Hakoda frowned and reached for Zuko's shoulder. The young firebender went silent and allowed himself to be pushed down again until he rested on his back. "No one is going to leave. No one is going to find a new teacher. Teaching Aang is your responsibility, Zuko. Are you planning on turning your back on the group?"

"What?" Zuko tried to sit up again, only to be held down by a hand on his chest. "You don't understand", he growled. "I can't teach him anymore!"

Hakoda snorted. "Oh yes, I do understand. You have a little injury and you're all too happy to use it in order to back out on your responsibility."

"This is not a little injury", Zuko barked. "I'm blinded!"

"So what. Toph is blind, and she manages."

"Toph's an earthbender. She can see through the earth and she's had all her life to figure out the way not to be impaired by her condition!"

Hakoda had kept one hand on Zuko's ankle and smiled when he could feel the heat the boy's skin was giving off. Zuko was well on his way to slide from mere anger to being downright pissed, which in turn would bring him close to the edge, to the breaking point.

"So. You're saying you're weaker than a little girl. You're saying you're pathetic."

Zuko roared. He twisted his body away from Hakoda's hands on his ankle and chest, and pushed his body into the air. His feet landed on the mattress with both hands balancing him in a crouching position. Not for long. His arms shot forwards and grabbed Hakoda's tunic, yanking him towards Zuko's body, which had managed to stay in balance during the manoeuvre.

"You don't understand!" Zuko yelled. „I don't want to abandon Aang, I don't want to abandon anyone in here! I'm not running from my responsibility! But I can't be a burden to them, not now, defeating the Fire Lord is too important! They cannot be considerate of my condition when the whole world's at stake! What do you think it'd do to them if I just expected them to wait up on me, to tend to me, their former enemy only recently turned an ally, when they have the world to save! I cannot add to THEIR responsibilities right now, I cannot allow myself to weaken the group just because I'm weak myself!" A bloodstained tear slipped down his cheek. "They need to be strong – I can't pull them down! I WON'T pull them down! Can't you see I'm trying to do the right thing here? What is it with all you people refusing to see that?"

Hakoda cleared his throat.

"WHAT?"

"You did a good job there. Pushing me off. Jumping up, crouching on the bed and grabbing me. Almost as if you'd known exactly where to reach. Almost as if you'd gained a sense of your surroundings."

Zuko was stunned into silence. Then, slowly, he let go of Hakoda and wiped his cheek. It was true. He hadn't needed to think about the older man's position. He had grabbed him as he would have done with his sight intact.

How…?

Heat.

Zuko hissed. "You bastard!"

"You're welcome, Zuko."

„Both are still alive and kicking."

Suki raised an eyebrow. "I hope there's less kicking and more living involved in there."

Toph grinned and leaned back against the fountain. "A little of both, I'd say."

"Ah well. Hakoda knows what he's doing, I guess. Just warn me if one of them decides he can't be bothered with the other at all anymore. Now… guys, attention for a moment."

Suki waited until Sokka, Haru, Teo and the Duke had all gathered by the fountain where she and Toph had settled after leaving Zuko's room. Somehow, with Katara and Hakoda out of the picture, she had been made leader when it came to tending to the group's well being. It was a natural choice, she guessed, as her eyes swept over their small group. They were such a jumbled bunch of kids, and out of those who were present currently, she came closest to being a reasonable mother figure with the additional perk of being a trained warrior. She could do this.

"We need to clear out a new room for Zuko, one that's close to the platform. He is in no condition to stumble around the temple on his own, and we can't babysit him the whole day and night – he doesn't want that, either. That would not be fair to any of us. Now, I think with a few small changes we can all adapt to the situation." Suki looked everyone in the eyes, one after the other. "This is not an easy situation, but we need to remember that it's the hardest for Zuko. He probably is angry with anything and everything right now, including himself. We need to show a little patience – not too much, mind you, we can't have him going berserk for the smallest reasons. But we need to show him that we understand he's feeling off. He's still a part of this group, right? So we need to show him that he's not worth less than before just because his sight will be gone for a while. Now, I'm sure Katara and Aang will be back soon enough. Katara will heal Zuko, then, and he will be back to his old snarling self in less than no time." She grinned and nodded to herself. "So, I don't think it's too much to ask of everyone to be a little considerate for his condition. If each of us just takes one extra step out of their usual ways every day, we'll make the situation a lot easier on Zuko and ultimately on us."

Silence greeted the end of her speech and for a moment she wondered if she had just made a complete fool out of herself. Then Sokka whooped and hugged her. "That's my girl!" he cheered, and the rest joined in.

Yeah, right.

As if there was any way she could ever fail when there was this proud gleam in his eyes.

Zuko sat on his bed lotus-style. The usually tight line of his mouth was relaxed. He was calm and collected. Very carefully, he started to reach into himself until he brushed that flame deep within. He drew some of it's warmth and then let go of the source. He needed to be careful so that he could to it right on the first try and then work on improving it.

It took some time, but the result was pleasant. Softly stroking the flame, he had managed to make it grow so he could start directing it towards every part of his body. His breathing was calm and even as warmth spread through him, lingering just beneath his skin.

He was fire.

He could do this.

Slowly, he became aware of every part of his body. There was no need to see his limbs. He already knew them by heart and the heat within himself enabled him to envision the outline of his own body without trouble.

A smile tugged at Zuko's lips, but he pushed it down.

That was but a small step.

When the heat was spread evenly in his body, Zuko concentrated on expanding it. Usually, firebenders channelled their flames through hands, feet or even the mouth, three ways that allowed them to use the fire effectively in battle by combining it with martial arts.

This was different. Zuko didn't aim to create flames or even give off heat that others could feel. He was looking for a new perspective. He was looking for a way to replace his sight for the time being.

Of course, he had no trouble detecting Hakoda in the room, for he could still hear him breathing. But that was not the point of this exercise.

The warmth seeped through his skin, moving from the inside to the outside, and expanding further. Every living being and every dead object either had their own source of heat or not, depending on whether it was alive or not. And there it was. He could sense Hakoda – not by listening to his breathing, but by feeling his body temperature. It took quite a while, but with a little concentration he could also make out the true goal of this exercise.

Determined, Zuko got up, which nearly shattered his grasp on the warmth within himself. He stood still for a moment, until he was sure he could hold the energy up. Then he stepped forward, into the middle of the room, stretched out both arms to the sides and started spinning around for a few turns. As soon as he regained his balance, he didn't hesitate, but moved in a certain direction and sat down.

Hakoda smiled when Zuko reached the chair. Yes, he had sat down a little more to the side and to the front than one usually would – which he tried to cover up by clearing his throat and wriggling into position – but it was a better start than even Hakoda had hoped for.

Still, this was a small room with currently only two occupants and barely any objects inside of it, and Zuko had taken quite a long time to accomplish this. Hakoda was positive, that the boy was quite capable of working with this technique to the point where he could move through the temple on his own and be a part of the group's everyday life.

It was just a short-term solution, something to make Zuko feel less helpless.

But would his eyes ever heal? And if not – would he ever be able to bend properly again, to teach Aang and to fight in the upcoming battle?

Hakoda wasn't quite sure whether or not they had enough time left to find the answers.

This was, I believe, the longest chapter so far.
Thank you for reviewing - I hope you enjoyed Chapter 4!
If you did, please be so kind to leave a review.

Thanks for your support!

Yours,
Ink