Summary: Gaara's priority was his twin sister's safety. Her being a diplomat to Konoha was his worst choice yet. Especially when she ends up betrothed to an Uchiha and having an affair with the Yondaime.

Pairing: Sasuke/Itachi/Kagome/Minato

Blackmailing and Erections

Smack!

"You…You just smacked my ass!" Kagome reeled.

Minato rubbed his flushed cheek. "And you smacked me!"

They both stilled. A heavy silence settled and the air was electric.

Kagome's breath hitched, her hand darted to a shock of pale hair in front of his eyes. It was the color of beaten gold, and hers jet black.

"You look much younger than you are," Kagome murmured.

Minato's brow knitted. "Exactly how old do you think I am?" He was a tad serious.

Kagome shrugged. "Forty?"

Minato smirked. "Close. But not quite."

"Fifty?"

"Now you're just trying to hurt my feelings."

"Then what is it?" Kagome rescinded and nestled her bum on his knees. She could see he was restraining himself.

Minato crossed his arms. "Why does it matter?"

"Ano…" Kagome fidgeted and his hands sprung out to cup her nimbly shoulders. "Because it's illegal?"

"Stop squirming," he warned.

Kagome bit her lip as a sudden thrilling idea came to mind. With little forethought, the tiny Suna-nin swiveled her hips and draped her legs on either side of his waist.

Just as her weight settled onto his crotch, Minato gritted his teeth. "Why are you straddling me?" His voice was full of mirth.

Kagome pressed her pelvis against his. She felt a distinct firm shaft stiffen even further. "You have an erection," she deadpanned.

"Not my fault. You're molesting me against my will," Minato chimed. "This is technically sexual assault. Now I have to go to therapy and deal with the mental scars for the rest of—."

Kagome rolled her hips. "Tell. Me."

Minato cringed. "Not too hard, kid. You're squishing my balls again."

Kagome lifted her buttocks into the air before dropping herself back down onto the Yondaime's groin—

"Tits!" he yipped.

"Tell me," Kagome warned as she lifted herself off again—

"Thirty seven!"

The diplomat smirked. "My powers of persuasion are flawless."

Minato's grimace melted. "You my dear… are a minx." Yet, just as he was about to lean forward, he froze like a tomcat sniffing a hound. "Off." His voice was deathly serious.

"What?"

"Off. Now." Minato scooped her legs and hooked his arm around her ribcage before stashing under his desk. "Don't. Say. A. Word."

Kagome was staring at his knees before she could react. "Who is coming?" she hissed.

"My son. Now shut up."

"You have a—"

The sound of the office door slamming open resounded through the office. "Tou-chan!"

Minato's voice was calm, yet welcoming. "Naruto, how was your mission?"

"Boring as shit!" Naruto griped with hands interlaced on the back of his neck. The Jounin kicked the ground. "Sakura-chan had to heal teme's nose, but other than that nothing.

Sakura and Sasuke trailed just a moment later. The pinkette sighed. "That's because of you."

Sasuke was not speaking, rather sulking on the far wall with the most foul expression.

The Hokage drummed his fingers on the desk's lip. "Naruto…"

"Nani? Not my fault at all, Sa-ku-ra! I just made a bet with teme he couldn't run through the forest in the dark without his Sharingan."

So naturally, the Uchiha ran into a tree.

Minato reigned in a giggle.. "Alright, well off you go then…"

Sakura perked up. "But Hokage-sama, don't you want a verbal report of our mission?"

Kagome wiggled as a kink in her neck started. Her hand unconsciously darted to Minato's crotch again.

"NOPE!" Minato jumped. He swore this girl had a fascination with his genitals.

"Yo tou-chan, what's wrong with you?" Naruto quirked his head.

"N-nothing, Naruto," Minato steadied himself. "Why don't you go and play in the park or fly a kite..." He felt tiny little fingers unzipping his pants.

"We're fifteen—" Sakura started.

"Here's fifty ryo, Naruto. Go get ramen or something…" Minato tossed a bag of coins to his only son.

"Dattebayo!" Naruto was out the door, with his two reluctant teammates dragging their feet behind.

Once they were far down the hall, Minato scooted away from the desk and Kagome tumbled onto the ground with a very cantankerous expression.

"Now where were we?" Minato leered, hooking a finger under her chin.

Kagome swatted him away. "Completely unnecessary! You could've just said I was a diplomat and had me not on your lap! You didn't have to hide me. "

"Ah, but my dear, why would I ever want to risk sharing you with little boys?"

…

Dinner at the Uchiha manor was usually a solemn affair. Some would argue that funerals were more cheery.

Mikoto sighed as she ladled soup into each of her son's bowls. Fugaku was busy sifting through papers from work, Itachi was immersed in some old scroll and Sasuke was brooding as customary.

"What is it, Sasuke?" she asked, knowing there was always something wrong with her youngest. He was the moody one. Even when he was younger he would throw the most petulant temper tantrums.

"The Hokage."

Both Fugaku and Itachi perked up, their dark eyes on Sasuke.

"What do you mean, otouto?" Itachi probed, his eyes studying his brother's body language.

"I think he is having an affair."

Fugaku set down his papers, while Itachi rolled up his scroll. This was of great interest to both.

"Go on." The Uchiha patriarch prompted.

"We reported in from our mission and he seemed… frazzled and a very small, yet very faint chakra signature emanated from under his desk."

Mikoto blushed as her ladle clattered to the floor. "Oh my."

Itachi sighed. "It must be the new diplomat from Suna. He was showing an inappropriate interest in her ever since her arrival."

Fugaku's eyes darted immediately to Itachi, his attention completely switched. "You have kept this information from me?" This was powerful information; even the slightest of suspicions should have been brought to his attention. Such leverage was a benefit to the clan.

Itachi bowed his head. "I apologize. There was no evidence."

"Until now," Fugaku supplemented. "Both of you… Look into this."

Blackmailing was Uchiha Fugaku's forte.

Author's Note: All of your guys' enthusiasm made make this quite a bit longer! Enjoy! And once finals are done, I'm going head first into Memoirs of a Prodigy! ~KK

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