Castiels' POV
I'm sitting on a bench outside of school talking to Charlie, but I have no idea what she's saying; behind her head, about 50 meters away, Dean Winchester is climbing out of a car.
It's frankly amazing what this one guy can do to me. I mean, it's just a crush, barely a crush even… probably just me pawing of how distinguished each line of his face is, and the way his green eyes shine like the brightest emerald, or how his muscles tensed and flexed when reaching for the potatoes. It's definitely not a crush.
Dean wraps his arm protectively around Sam. I smile every time I think of his younger brother and the effect he has on Gabriel.
"Cas I can visibly see that you're not listening you now," I barely even acknowledge Charlie's presence.
"Mm hmm," I mumble back. Dean's walking up on his way to the school gate, then, in the process of turning his head to his right to look at Sam, he spots me.
"Ugh Cas what are you staring at?" Charlie says and she flips her own head around, red curls following suit, just as Dean gives me a sideways grin and waves. I find myself grinning back at him, and right when I'm about to return the wave, Charlie suddenly pins her elbows on my knees. She's leaning into my face and her pupils are burning into my eyes as she scans them, trying to read my emotions like a computer.
"Tell. Me. Everything."
After a brief explanation of the situation between Sam and Gabe, I find that Dean (Sam no longer at his side) has strolled over to us.
"Hey Castiel," Dean smirks, but I can sense he's trying to cover up nerves. It is his first day of school though, so I suppose he has a right.
"Um, hi." I reply, eager to end the conversation. I should never have offered to show him round, I realise now, albeit too late. I don't think I can deal with getting close to him, I'll screw it up, screw something up, like I always do. Or he'll get bored of me. That's a common one too.
"And who might this fine lady be?" Dean asks with a gesture towards Charlie and raised eyebrows.
"Oh right," I say, feeling a little guilty now after the amount of times I've ignored her this morning. "This is my best friend, Charlie." I dislike the title 'best friend' but I use it anyway for lack of a better one.
"I'm Dean, co-best friend of Castiel."
"We only just met." I interject, but he merely smiles and the dimples that pop up eat me inside out.
He snaps back to face me. "So, what about that tour, eh?" He asks. Oh shit.
"About that-"I begin but the school bell cuts me off. 'Saved by the bell.' Has a saying ever been more accurate? "I've got, uh, something I have to do." I shout as I start to run to class. "But I'll talk to you later!" Why the hell did I have to add that last bit in, I cringe as I find my way to English.
I wander into class and sit down, opening my book as Miss Clare stands up and starts writing the title of today's lesson on the board.
Around 10 minutes later, the classroom door opens, and Dean walks in. He explains quietly to Miss that he's new, this is his class, and he got lost in the corridors… I'm in the same class as the person I have the upmost intention of avoiding. Shit. After a quick examination of the room, I gather that the only free seat is next to me. Double shit. Miss Clare says something I can't understand, and points gingerly to the seat next to me. Dean, acknowledging my presence, subconsciously ducks his head and bites his lip. I don't even notice myself breathing out heavily, I mean… wow. Just wow.
Dean makes eye contact with me as he walks over and slips easily into the empty chair.
"Hey there, Cas."
"Cas?" I frown at him. It's not because I don't like the nickname, it's just, if he's given me one already, he must think that some sort of friendship is going to come from this. But it's not. And I wont let it.
"Yeah, Cas." He says it again and I fall in love with the way it rolls off his tongue. He brings richness, an importance, to my name, and I find myself not wanting him to stop calling me it.
I notice how hot my cheeks have gotten, and I curse to myself. Shaking off my coat off I mutter something about it being hot in here. But oh well, at least he's forgotten about that tour.
Every so often throughout English, Dean whispers some joke or sassy comment about the lesson, and at one point (despite my many stressful attempts to shut him up) he says something which leaves me biting back laughter.
"Do we have a problem there, Mister Novak?" Miss Clare raises her eyebrows.
I bow my head, the smile quickly wiped from my face. "No Miss, sorry Miss."
"I should hope not. Disturb my class again and that's a half hour detention." Damn it.
"Sorry," Dean mouths. I try to act cool but angry, still attempting to distance myself from the Winchester. I shrug my shoulders, trying to hide how effected I was by the teacher's remark and the 3 seconds in which every pupil in the room was staring at me. He smiles then, one side of his mouth going up before the next. For such an evidently hard guy, dressing in a brown leather jacket, a black long-sleeved shirt and baggy jeans that hang perfectly on his hips, he can be hella adorable. Not, that that means anything.
Dean's POV
There's no explanation for the way I feel about Cas. I've never been like this with anyone before. I just feel a need to be with him, let his cuteness envelope me as he muffles laughs at my pathetic jokes. He's trying to avoid me though, I can tell it. It doesn't surprise me that I'm coming on too fast, scaring him off. Usually girls swarm me though, even some guys did at that school a year or two back where I accidently came out. But anyway, I know I have looks on my side. That sounds bigheaded, it probably is, however I see the way girls look at me, the populars' especially, always trying to get close to me. So why doesn't Cas look at me like that? And why do I want him to so badly? Every so often I give in to them, the populars', fed up of finding excuses. It's not fun. It never is. But I get so sick of the alternative.
I feel a pull towards Castiel though. I just love everything about him, the way he moves, his gravelly voice when he's telling me to shut up and his carefree but somewhat anguished voice he speaks with just after I've made him laugh. And his trench coat, he reminds me of a superhero in it. He's Thor, burdened with the vulnerability of Iron Man.
The problem I face at the moment: I barely know the guy. How can my stomach clench at the sight of this Novak whom I've only met twice? I have no idea, but it still happens. I think this why I'm making such an attempt to get close to him… I'm afraid of falling for a boy I hardly know. I just need him to give me a chance, for all I know he has some horrible hamartia, which would drive me away from him forever. I want to get close enough for him to tell me these things, or for me to discover them for myself. Why is he trying to hard to avoid me?
I can see him trying to ignore me, laughing at my jokes occasionally as if he's, for a moment, giving into his determined mission to avoid me. But when I find him in the corridors he sends my away, instructing me to go to lunch or telling me where my next class is.
I don't understand why every so often, he'll give me the biggest, most heart warming grin, and then react as if he was doing wrong by being happy, and try to take back that he ever enjoyed a moment of our time together.
Cas. I'm over-thinking everything because of him. I simply need answers. I simply need contentment… I need him to let me in.