Last Hirameki

Chapter IV - Time and Time and Time

The early evening sun was waning, turning every window to a tangerine colour while Sakura shuffled and dodged her way through the crowd congregating around Hokage tower. She'd come relatively early to ensure she snared a coveted spot at the front for the ceremony, but there was already a massive throng of bodies pushed up against the barriers much like at a rock concert. Sadly, she would have to let herself be sifted in with the other citizens toward the middle. Thank goodness she'd remembered her camera with the zoom.

"Not early enough either, eh?" Ino repined as she approached her friend. "I was hoping to get up front too. What a crowd."

Sakura smiled an easy smile. Even Ino's negativity couldn't tamp down her mood. "Naruto's made a monumental impression on this village. I suppose it's not unexpected to see everyone vying for a spot up front."

"Why didn't you go up there with him? I'm sure he asked…"

The unrelenting grin Sakura was wearing widened. "He did ask, but I said I wanted to watch from here. I wanted to feel the excitement in the crowd. I wanted to see his face. Up there I'd have to watch him from behind."

Ino concurred with a nod. "Where's Neji today? I half expected him to be with you."

A diffident shrug shifted Sakura's thin frame as her green eyes roamed the crowd, though not really seeing at anyone. "Not sure."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Again Sakura shrugged, this time slower and with some deeper meaning. Ino knew enough not to pursue it.

"Sooo… That party was good the other night. How late did you get home?" Ino expertly amended the topic of conversation to both women's great relief.

Sakura tilted her head and blocked the heavy sun out with a hand at her brow. No one had ventured out on the Hokage tower yet and she was getting impatient. Even her heart was pounding against her ribs in the excitement of the moment. If they didn't get on with it soon, she was going to explode. "Uhm… I stayed at Naruto's place. I wasn't feeling well."

"Well, it was your birthday so I suppose that's expected."

A soft laugh escaped Sakura as she looked back at Ino. "Twenty-two now. Time to get on with grown up things, I guess. I have to take my oath at the council as Medical director in three days. I'll be the youngest director they've ever had. I really hope I'm ready."

Ino shook her head. "You're ready. Naruto is ready – even if it took two years. It's about time we all got on with grown up things. I'm finally up for captain of my ANBU squad."

The soft murmur of the voices around them suddenly began to build into an excited rumble prompting the two women to gaze up. Suddenly there was Naruto in his long white robes, the old white Hokage hat on his head and a proud, excited smile on his face. Sakura was so happy for him, so relieved that the long two years of working toward this day had come to an end that she started to cry. A deluge of tears dropped from her cheeks and chin as she laughed and waved at him, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet. His bright blue eyes found her easily and his face took on a sympathetic lilt and a tender smile; they both knew that it was going to be like this.

When Naruto finally looked away to wave at everyone in the crowd, Sakura chanced a glance at Ino who was crying as well.

They laughed at their mutual emotional upheaval and hugged tightly as the crowd roared and cheered around them.

Night had fallen quickly after the festivities. It took two hours in total for the entire crowd to disperse. Sakura was still feeling like a pumped up balloon ready to burst after all the commotion, but Naruto was unexpectedly calm and composed through the whole thing-even with her sobbing like a child in the crowd. However, the trembling too-tight hug he gave her after told a different story and she became more impressed at his previous self-control.

At the end of the tiring day was a grand reception planned for eight PM at the Fire Daimyo's palace, and after such an ugly cry, Sakura could only imagined that her make up had run to a messy clown look. Kimono and a fresh face were necessary and expected at such a formal event and there were so few times she was able to dress up.

After a quick run across the city, rooftops and walls being her pathway, Sakura landed soundly on her apartment steps without making even a scrabble. With a flick of her fingers, she snapped open the mailbox, tugged out the contents, and darted inside – this time making a dreadful ruckus. Already her green eyes were busy scanning the inside of the coat-closet by the door for the black geta sandals to match her red silk kimono as she kicked off her shoes. She noticed them in the back and absently tossed the mail to the table, but a light smack of something hard on the wood tabletop made her freeze in her tracks.

Traditionally her mail didn't make that sort of thump when dropped. But for days she'd been wondering, yet not allowing herself to hope, that something would come for the second year in a row for her birthday.

And really, it would be so like him to send it late…

Her teeth clenched almost painfully tight as she hurriedly dug through the small pile of thin envelopes to find the one she wanted, so obviously crammed with something by how it bulged and puckered. There was no return address, just as there wasn't last year. But the messy way he wrote her name across the front in that chicken scratch she knew so well confirmed that Hatake Kakashi had indeed sent it.

Damn it all, her fingers were shaking.

Awkwardly, she opened the envelope. A small card sat inside pressed up to a tiny wooden box. And just like last time, the card only read "happy birthday" and nothing else. Not even a name of who sent it. Not even her name.

Sakura opened the tiny box and smiled. It was another exquisite silver charm – a lopsided heart this time. There were no markings on the box or on the charm, but it was obviously something carefully handmade of the best silver.

With the gentleness she reserved for treasured things, Sakura pulled the delicate silver charm out and took it to her bedroom where she kept last year's present in her jewellery box. How many times had she pulled the looped bracelet out and run her finger over the silver Sakura blossom charm with a hint of pink painted around the petals?

Then again, she hadn't looked at it for at least five months now and had never worn it. Between being busy preparing for her future, she found it was so much easier to just try and forget Kakashi than to dwell on their past. He'd played with her head so severely the night he left that the pretty little charms were just hard reminders that he had all but vanished from her life. The letter he had left her with was still tucked under her pencil tray in her office drawer and just like last year when the charm arrived she considered pulling it back out.

Of course she wouldn't though.

For the two birthdays and two years he'd been gone, he had taken the time and effort to send her a tiny trinket– just enough so that she couldn't forget him. Thoughtful and cruel.

With care, she attached the new charm to the bracelet and then slipped it on her wrist.

It fit perfectly.

And then she took it off.

Kakashi crouched silently among the branches in the back forest, listening intently too all the familiar rustles and noises night time provided. There were footsteps to the left and down the skinny mulch pathway, but that was most likely a distraction to get him to focus on the wrong place. The waterfall thundered in the near distance on the east side of the forest, and the lights from the house were shining to the south. The air was always so thick with moisture, so nebulous and heavy with it that it penetrated Kakashi's lungs.

Silently, he stood a little taller and tightened his grip on the kunai in his left hand. His right hand worked his mask up his face until it was snugged tightly against his nose and lips. The feel of it was so pleasant, so welcome, that he almost forgot he was being hunted.

Finally prepared, he went left, slipping through the dense trees and bushes until his exceptional hearing picked up the gentle sound of clothing brushing a leaf. And that's when he made his move.

He appeared behind his enemy, but it was apparently not unexpected. The man spun with a kunai and just missed Kakashi's face, however the counter attack was much quicker.

That was the problem with fighting clones. A copy of the original was never as good.

The fight was over too quickly as Kakashi plunged his kunai into his likeness, making it evaporate into smoke. That was the third one in the last hour that he defeated so easily. Perhaps his brain was tired, or he wasn't concentrating anymore. Perhaps it was finances and social obligation and pleasing his grandfather that was taking a toll on his fighting skills. What he wouldn't give to just bump into another live ninja. What he wouldn't give for a little challenge.

He pulled down his mask and holstered his kunai. The scent of the forest became that much more blatant and he breathed deeply as he trekked toward the waterfall.

The moon was a bright gluttonous orb overhead, drowning the world in a white light that made it easy to see his path. When Kakashi reached the deep blue pool that the waterfall plunged into, he began to strip off his clothes. When he was completely disrobed, he dove into the fresh, icy cold water and swam as deep as he could go. He spun in the gentle tide and looked up to see the full moon shimmering above the world through the clear depths.

It had to be getting late - Naruto would be Hokage. How he wished he could have been there to see it.

For the last two years, Tsunade had kept him in the know with the brief letters he'd had forwarded from the post office box he'd set up before he left. She promised to write once a month, and that it would be simple updates – nothing too personal. It was better for everyone if they couldn't find him and he didn't think of them.

Really, he could never possibly explain it away if ninja kept popping up at the house; Naruto and Sakura would have been on the doorstep within a month's time had they known his whereabouts.

For his own sanity, he had to step out of that life almost completely. But as his night time escapes into the forest increased, he understood that he would never be able to say he entirely gave it up. He was shinobi, now and forever.

When he emerged from the frigid water, he made his way to the natural hot spring nearby and slid in. Marble slabs had been placed around it by someone for ease of entry and it felt like his own personal onsen as he'd never seen anyone else in it. His hips and shoulders ached with the workout, and his scars shone in the moonlight. If only he could stay out all night…perhaps never return.

But it was nearly time to head back. As much as his escapes helped, he remembered that had two meetings in the morning.

Sakura was welcomed into the Daimyo's palace without the need for the security to check the guest list. Her position had grown over the years and she was known even to the Daimyo's guard.

The palace was full to bursting with well dressed guests in kimono and suits alike. Sakura enjoyed the attention of the men's eyes turning to her as she walked tall and confidently into the foyer where people were gathering in conversations.

She strolled through the halls until she came to the giant great room filled with the who's who of the five countries. All the Daimyo were there as were all the Kages.

"Sakura," a voice call from the right of the entrance and Sakura turned her head to see Temari and Gaara standing with Naruto and, of all people, Neji. Their eyes met, and Neji smiled in the simple and practiced way he would smile when they were together. Sakura returned it with a comfortable smile of her own. They always did such a dance of courtesies that it was almost off-putting.

She approached the group and because it was easiest, she focused on Naruto.

"Nice to see you again, Sakura," Temari said sweetly and leaned forward to give her a perfunctory hug. Gaara nodded as well.

Again, Sakura's eyes snapped back to Naruto. "How are you doing?"

Naruto smirked and shrugged. "I'm coping." He tugged at his formal kimono. "This doesn't suit me."

"Of course it does," Temari added, and Naruto winked at her. It was so unusual to see him calm and in control of his boyish energy that Sakura suddenly felt out of place. And to add insult to injury, Neji's warm hand pressed against the small of her back as he shuffled through their small circle to stand next to her.

When she turned to him, he leaned close so he could speak in her ear. "I have to go and speak with my uncle and do the family thing. Will you wait for me to take you home?"

Sakura felt the response get stuck in her throat. There were a few things she'd been wanting to say to Neji, but it never seemed like the right time. Like usual, a staunch nod was all she could manage.

And just as simply as it came in contact, Neji's hand slipped away from her back and he walked away.

When Sakura turned back to everyone, they were silently, purposely not watching her.

The festivities were joyous, and Naruto seemed out of sorts the whole night. Sakura had stayed by his side and held his arm tightly. By the end of the celebration, he was exhausted and that was saying something. Sai had attended, much to Sakura's surprise, and gave himself the duty of making sure that Naruto made it home.

Neji had appeared as Sakura teetered in the doorway, considering just leaving without him. His face was stoic and unreadable. It was typical Neji in company.

Without using chakra because she was dressed up, the walk back to the edge of the village took an hour. But droves of the shinobi partygoers were wandering slowly in the warm night and along the way there was much chatter and conversation. It felt like everyone wanted to continue to wade in the feeling of celebration that came along with such a night.

When they reached the heart of Konoha, Neji took Sakura's arm and walked her to her apartment door more quickly than they'd been walking up to then. When she unlocked the door and entered, he followed her in without being invited.

Sakura's heart began to pound as the door clicked shut.

"Did you want some tea?" she asked softly, gazing at the slivers of moonlight fighting to light the dark room.

"I don't want tea," Neji responded just as quietly.

His warm hand was on the small of her back again, but his other slid around to her hip, turning her into him. She could smell the sweetness of the pipe that one of his relatives had been puffing earlier. She could feel the hardness of his toned body against the soft curves of her own. His breath was warm as his mouth began to press gentle kisses along her throat.

"Neji…" she breathed out, fighting how good his touches felt. Sexual attraction was never their problem.

"Shhh," he responded.

"But we need to talk."

Neji's ministrations halted momentarily, and his lips nipped her ear before he whispered, "I know what you want to say. I could see it in your face tonight."

"Then we should stop."

"Should we?"

Heat pulsed between her legs as his hand slid down her behind, squeezing her almost roughly. With a slight shift, he captured her mouth with his. His kisses were fervent and deep; each stroke of his tongue against hers made her resolve crumble away bit by bit.

She broke away from him with a quick turn of her head. "This isn't working out. My life is just too…"

In response to her frustrating confession, Neji stopped. He made a sharp intake of breath before tracing her cheek with his thumb. "I know you want out of this. I could tell from the beginning you weren't fully vested."

"I'm sorry, Neji. I thought that when the business with Naruto was finished, I would feel differently – that I would want to be in a relationship. My days are so full… A relationship right now is just not…"

Neji laughed softly. "It isn't the relationship that you didn't want. I think you just didn't want one with me."

"Don't say that…" she said sadly.

"It's okay," he conceded, lifting her chin with his hand. "I was surprised when you agreed to go out with me six months ago. We've had fun, but we both knew this wasn't going to be long term. You aren't here sometimes. I've wondered who is occupying your thoughts some days when you get that lost look."

Gently, Sakura slid her hands over his arms and pulled him closer. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Neji breathed out, and then began to kiss her again.

This time, she didn't stop him.

Kakashi's hair was still wet from the hotspring and his cool skin smelled of sulphur and pine. Using the trees until he was within sight of the back gardens, Kakashi slowed to a stroll as his feet hit the smooth gravel pathway through the ever present Sakura trees.

They'd bloomed early this year. The pathways were full of soft pink petals, making it almost appear as a lush carpet trailing up to the terrace doors. The viewing festival at the Daimyo's palace days before was lousy with people, and this year it had been fairly enjoyable after his first three sake.

When he reached the east wing of the house, he looked up to his own room's upper terrace with the door still propped just a little. Even though the garden lights were on, the rest of the house was mostly dark. It had to be about two in the morning so naturally everyone would be asleep as most of the staff ranged in age between forty and about four hundred.

Using a strong, satisfying burst of chakra, Kakashi darted the side of the wall and leapt onto the upper terrace with perfect accuracy.

Once inside the semi-dark room, he slipped down his mask, and tugged off his headband. He hated being there sometimes. Even the scent wasn't to his liking. And his rooms were too large, Kakashi had always thought. There was a spacious sitting area with two sofas and a fireplace. The back of the room by the double entrance doors had a large mahogany desk and a small wall filled with books (Kakashi's own orange covered series being among them). The bed was a king size western style bed with a mountain of pillows and the finest Egyptian cotton sheets. The duvets had raw silk coverings. And then there was the artwork. At least three of the pieces were sumi-e by known Japanese artists.

It was more luxury and extravagance than Kakashi could ever get used to. His personal chamber in the Hirameki mansion was larger than his entire apartment in Konoha. But he supposed with wealth comes excess and since there were no tiny guest houses to move to, he was stuck. In his previous life, he was the farthest thing from materialistic. He was always a simple man with simple tastes.

The large outdoor terrace though had provided a much needed solace and a much needed escape for the last few months – until just now.

"Is this…thing, this escape what you need to keep you happy here, Kakashi?" Sato asked from a sofa near the fireplace. His voice was a thick veil of what it usually was – all rough and groggy with the late hour.

"My door was locked, Ojiisan." Kakashi was not amused by his presence, no matter who he was.

"I suppose you are not the only person with hidden abilities," Sato said with a hint of anger. His long, boney hand rose and he jabbed his finger through the air at the sofa across from him.

Kakashi dropped his headband on the bed and crossed the room to the sitting area by the fireplace. With a long, heavy breath, he sat down on the soft brown sofa and leaned heavily forward on his knees. Not since Minato had Kakashi been chastised for anything. And after his dissatisfying fight in the forest with the clones, he was in no mood for it now.

Sato sat back and leaned heavily on the arm of the sofa. On the other side of him, Kakashi noticed that he had his arm propped on a simple wooden box.

"Do you know the story of your parents, Kakashi? Did your father ever tell you?"

Now that was unexpected. Kakashi could only shake his head in confusion; he was all but certain he would be throttled for his late night escapades.

"Your mother was my eldest child." Sato's eyes registered Kakashi's confusion. "Yes, you didn't know this, but I had a son with my wife. He did not live past his first birthday."

"I'm sorry," Kakashi breathed out.

Sato dismissed it with a weak wave.

"After my son died, my wife became ill so my daughter Hana was all I had. My wife passed away when our daughter was eight and from there on, I chose not to marry again. Hana was such a headstrong girl, full of energy and spirit. I didn't discourage that. I loved that she was fierce." Sato gave Kakashi a withering look. "I imagine you would find it hard to believe but I doted on her relentlessly. I should probably not have, but I was all she had as well. She was spoiled, yet still a wonderful girl."

Kakashi rose a little from his disinterested slump to give Sato more attention. He was locked in. This man who was sitting there was a different man than he had seen over the past two years. The sudden change was disconcerting. He looked almost feeble.

"Your mother was a violin virtuoso. Did you know that? My God, she could play. And I allowed her to join the symphony after she begged and begged. But only under one condition… That she must be guarded, and I would pay for that. The maestro assured me that he would hire the best shinobi Lightning had to offer to watch the entire troupe. But I was skeptical, and insisted that he allow me to hire someone from Fire to specifically watch Hana."

Shocked, Kakashi could feel his brows rising, his eyes widening. It couldn't possibly escape Sato's attention either, but if he noticed, he didn't indicate. How long had he wished to know this story? Kakashi dared not move in case Sato got distracted.

"Your father was contracted. The Konoha White Fang was supposed to be the strongest shinobi in the Five Countries at the time. Money was no object so he was given to us for three months to tour with the symphony. I think I paid for a new wing on your Konoha hospital." Sato paused and rubbed his chin, struggling for a moment with old memories. He breathed out a long breath before he continued. "With his credentials, it never occurred to me that Sakumo would be young – just a year or so older than Hana. Within days, your father arrived on my doorstep wearing the same clothes you wore when you arrived but with a white cloak overtop. His silver hair was shocking. It was so long and scruffy looking. His smile was confident, but genuine. I suppose it was not a surprise that Hana fell in love with him. After the three months of touring, she returned, just twenty-one and so changed from when she left."

Obviously the story was becoming more and more difficult for Sato to tell. If Kakashi didn't know better, he would have thought that man on the verge of tears – but he knew better.

"The way she looked at him… I knew that she was lost. I forbid her to see him and insisted that he leave. I even contracted Lightning to send me their strongest to drive him out. The next morning, she was gone. She left a note and ran away with him. I never saw her again in person. Your home village harboured them and allowed them to marry. And just a short year later, you were born."

Kakashi leaned forward trying to find some words, but what could he say after that? The man's anger was understandable, but his stubbornness was certainly his undoing. Kakashi remembered his mother as a kind, well liked woman. If Sato wanted to see her, he would have only had to ask, Kakashi was sure.

Sato's voice was quieter. "You look so much like her. You look like him too but...my shock was painful when you stood in the doorway two years ago. Your father had a thick, masculine jaw. His body was large and burly. I expected you to look the same but you resembled her more. Her eyes…"

"Yes, I've been told this," Kakashi said quietly.

His comment seemed to shock Sato back into reality and he actually shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I have something for you," he said simply, tapping his arthritic fingers on the wooden box. "This is yours."

His words held a kind of finality and then with grunting and jagged effort, Sato managed to stand. "Is this…," he gestured to the open terrace door, and then to Kakashi's black clothing, "…what you need? Does this satisfy you?"

The words were slightly strained, and it threw off Kakashi monumentally. "It helps, Ojiisan. You can imagine how much I miss home."

"This is your home, Kakashi. But I will allow this. To keep you here, I will allow this."

A nod was all Kakashi could managed as he stood up, not sure exactly what was happening. Sato grunted softly and then lifted his chin sharply, almost in a defiant way. The entirety of the interaction confused the hell out of Kakashi, but it was better than he first expected when seeing his grandfather sitting there and waiting for him.

Sato reached the door and opened it, but before he walked out, he stopped and said quite clinically, "I have been contacted twice by Maruyama Mase this month."

"Aiko's father?" Kakashi felt his chest tighten painfully. The pink haired girl had turned into quite the bother over the last few months. Ever since that first cherry blossom viewing, she'd been like a puppy dog, wagging her tail whenever she'd see him.

"He's interested in arranging a match between you and Aiko. It seems she's quite taken with you. And a marriage between the Hirameki and the Maruyama would be advantageous for all parties."

Kakashi searched Sato's face for an indication of whether this was truly expected of him. It wasn't like the old man would ever let him make all the decisions himself, but that's how it worked in those old families. Freedom was a rare commodity. But this…

"Do you find her desirable?"

"She's very young. Only twenty-five. I'm ten years her senior."

Sato waved Kakashi's last thought away. "What does age matter? She's a very beautiful woman."

Kakashi could find no words in his stunned brain. For some reason, arranged marriage had never crossed his mind as a necessity to coming there and becoming a Hirameki.

"We'll talk more tomorrow," Sato added, his voice sounding quite ragged now. Two AM was way past the old man's bedtime.

Kakashi bowed once, but before Sato took another step, he breathed out very softly, "I am pleased you returned. I did not expect you to."

And then he walked out.

The tense feeling in Kakashi's shoulders slipped away and he slumped back down to the sofa beside the wooden box. In the gut stabbing talk about marriage, Kakashi had all but forgotten about the small mystery. It was an usual thing to be given, but when he opened it, everything became clear.

Inside, tied with red ribbons and still in envelopes were at least a hundred letters. Kakashi slid the top envelope out of the stack and opened the letter carefully. A small picture dropped out of a tiny, silver-haired baby.

The neat cursive began with, "Dearest Papa."

Kakashi dug his fingers through the letters – every one addressed in the same handwriting, every one thick with papers and photographs. Every single one had been opened and read – perhaps a few times.

What a tragedy. He'd had to see his daughter's life, see his grandson's life through a few short years of letters.

After he sifted through them, reading each one and laughing at pictures of his own progress growing up, he thought of the last letter that he had written – the one he left for Sakura.

He should have written something more eloquent, something she deserved because it was his last.

"…and I will serve Konoha and all its citizens with all the medical knowledge I possess. I will not see a wound or a disease, but a person. My choices will be carefully made and I will conduct my profession with the utmost care and concern for all who need me. I will choose healing over killing in all situations, and I will pass on my knowledge to all who wish to gain from it. This is my oath."

Tsunade smiled when Sakura finished the page-long affirmation, and Sakura felt her stomach let go of the brick they'd managed to pick up on the way to the council hall.

"By the power of Konoha's council, it is my pleasure to appoint you Medical Director of Konoha. Your duties will include and not be confined to ANBU, Root, all shinobi ranks in the main force and the civilian and shinobi hospitals. Do you accept this?" Homura Mitokado said in his rough voice.

Sakura bowed before the long desk the trio of the council sat behind, and then glanced at Tsunade who stood to the right with Shizune, Iruka and of course, Naruto. "I accept."

"Good, good!" Koharu said with a smile on her wrinkled and weathered face. She clapped her hands twice. Her eyes were barely visible, but she looked happy nonetheless.

"Good job, Sakura," Tsunade said as she approached her old apprentice and gave her a careful hug. "Let Shizune and I take you to dinner."

Sakura nodded and allowed herself to be led out after one more bow to the council who were up and talking amongst themselves and with Naruto now anyway.

When she stepped out into the bright sunlight from the dusty old council chambers, she looked around her village and sighed softly. She loved it there. She loved the trees and the people and her friends and her occupation and a million other things. Her life had finally turned into the direction she wanted. It had finally started.

Shizune led the way toward the restaurant, and Sakura trailed behind a few steps, the fingers of her left hand caressing the dangling charms from the delicate bracelet she wore for the first time.

She wished he was there. She wished that Kakashi had stood between Shizune and Tsunade where he belonged. She wished he smiled at her with that bullshit eyecreaser he used to give her when he didn't want to show real emotion.

He was supposed to be there…

Her hand tightened on the silver bracelet with frustration and betrayal, and before she could stop herself, it snapped.

This took longer to post than expected. Sigh. Real life just gets in the way. A wordy one and fairly transitionary too. I am going to try to have another up tonight or perhaps tomorrow morning.