After Tanya left, I began to cry so loudly that it woke up Charlie. He rushed to my room to see what was wrong, and I lied and said I had a bad dream. I apologized for interrupting his sleep, but when he stumbled back to his bed, I continued crying.
It wasn't entirely a lie. Tanya's words to me did feel like a nightmare. My worst fears were confirmed as truth. Edward didn't love me. I believed her when she told me that. It never made sense for him to love me. We were so different. He was perfect and I was human. Edward was fascinated by me, but it wasn't possible for him to truly love me. I wasn't worthy of his affections. He made it clear by keeping me at arms length physically, always protesting when I tried to kiss him longer than he preferred. And the Cullens? Carlisle and Esme made me feel like I was a member of their family, but I misinterpreted their kindness as love. Rosalie's indifference to me suddenly made sense. Emmett's jokes about my clumsiness were no longer endearing, just proof he found the human to be amusing. I was their pet…
As I cried and tortured myself with thoughts of my unworthiness, I wondered how I needed to respond to this revelation. I loved Edward. I would always love him, even if he didn't love me. It would be easy for me to be selfish and pretend he loved me too. I could lie to myself and believe that when Edward told me he loved me, he meant it. But, I believed Tanya. Edward would eventually become bored with me and leave. The thought was unbearable and brought even more pain to my already trembling body.
How could I have been so stupid as to believe someone as wonderful as Edward would truly love me? I should have known better, especially when Edward refused to consider changing me to be like him. If I was a vampire, we could be together forever. As a human, we both knew I would eventually grow old and die. So, it made sense. Edward didn't want to be with me forever because he didn't love me.
I curled into a fetal position and cried until dawn. I was glad Edward was away for the weekend, I didn't know how I would react when I saw him. No, I couldn't see him. It would hurt too much.
I stumbled out of bed and went to my desk, opening the top drawer and riffling through papers. I pulled out a plane ticket, the one Renee sent me for my trip to Jackonsville. I had completely forgotten about it until now. The date of departure on the ticket wasn't for another week, but I ran downstairs, picked up the phone and dialed the number of the airline.
After navigating their automated call system, I finally reached a human and was able to reschedule my flight, for an additional fee, for later that morning. I glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was 5:10am and my flight left at 10:55am. It took four hours to drive from Forks to Seattle. I had to leave IMMEDIATELY if I was going to make it in time.
I rushed up the stairs and pounded on Charlie's bedroom door.
"Dad, we overslept. I'm going to miss my flight!"
Charlie opened the door, scratching his head, looking half asleep and very confused.
"Where are you going?" he asked, groggily.
"Jacksonville, to see Mom….remember? We gotta go….now…."
"Your flight is today? I could have sworn Renee told me it was next week…"
I shifted nervously. I was a horrible person for lying to Charlie, but I had to get out of Forks and this was my only opportunity.
"Um…yes? Yes. I forgot too. I'm going to pack."
I ran to my room, dressed, and began to throw random clothes into my gym bag. Five minutes later, I was at the front door, waiting for Charlie. After another five minutes, he walked down the stairs, yawning.
"We can get coffee on the way there," I encouraged, handing Charlie his keys, and opening the front door. He grumbled, but followed me outside.
My eyes widened when I saw, parked next to Charlie's police cruiser, a Mercedes. Carlisle's car. Alice stood next to it.
"Ready to go to the airport, Bella?" she asked, a smile on her face.
Damn, Alice and her ability to predict the future. Charlie looked at me.
"Did you forget Alice was driving you to the airport?" he asked.
I quickly thought of a response, but Alice spoke before I could respond.
"I was planning to drive to Seattle today to go shopping and offered to go early to give Bella a ride to the airport," she explained to Charlie. "Didn't she tell you?"
"I forgot about your offer, Alice," I spoke, awkwardly. "Sorry to make you wake up so early, but my Dad is going to drive me to the airport." I grabbed Charlie's arm, and pulled him as I walked toward his cruiser. Alice was very persuasive. If she continued to talk, I knew I would yield. And if I spent four hours in a car with her, I knew I couldn't avoid telling her why I was leaving. Which was probably why she showed up at my house. I didn't know exactly how her gift worked, but she definitely knew I was leaving Forks. Hopefully, she didn't know why. It would be too humiliating to admit to her that I knew the truth.
Alice followed us, looking concerned. "Bella, I would really, really like to drive you to the airport. Please?"
Charlie stopped walking and looked confused at Alice's insistence. After all, who really, really wants to drive someone four hours to the airport on a Saturday?
"Bella, if you want Alice to drive you, I don't mind…."
I grabbed the keys from Charlie's hand and unlocked the driver's side door, opened it for him, then went to unlock and open the passenger side door.
"No, Dad. I want you to drive me."
Alice looked as dumbfounded as Charlie, but he nodded and obediently got into the car. I sat in the passenger seat, closed the door and handed Charlie the keys. When I turned back, Alice was standing by my door, tapping on the window. I sighed and unrolled it.
I looked at her and felt like crying. This was Alice, the person who had been so patient and helpful to me when I was recovering from my injuries last spring. We had spent so many hours talking and laughing together, she almost felt like a sister to me. Did she really think of me as a pet? As a diversion from the boredom of immortality?
"Will you call me when you get to Jacksonville?" she asked, quietly.
"Um, sure," I mumbled, looking at my hands.
"Bella," Alice pleaded. At the urgency in her voice, I looked up and saw her eyes glistening. Even though I knew vampires couldn't cry, it sure looked like Alice was about to cry.
"Goodbye, Alice," I whispered.
I turned to Charlie. "Let's go."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Alice give Charlie a small wave. He smiled apologetically, most likely not understanding why I was acting this way, but knowing something was off between us. He put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway.
Fighting back tears, I glanced back and saw Alice watching us drive away.
If it was so painful to face Alice, how was I ever going to say goodbye to Edward?