Prehistoric Park
Spine Lizard of Egypt
Ron packed his M4A1 Carbine and a new package of tranq darts. "I decided to bring back Spinosaurus Aegyptiacus, the large dino-croc. I'll try to get a male and female back, but right now, I've got to find my partner. Dylan!" He searched the complex where Nigel's team normally was. "Where's Dylan?" "Bob said he was going to see the Ornithomimus, check up on them." Ron sighed and got to his Warthog. "He keeps wandering the Park, looking at all the animals. I'm taping a radio to his head!" He got to the pond and found Dylan with the chicks. "Dylan! Get over here!" "What's up?" "We got work to do! Get over here!" Ron sighed as his partner got into the Warthog. "We got a dinosaur to catch. Hopefully, Nigel will be joining us: I'd like to capture a Sarcosuchus imperator, the largest crocodile of all time." He drove to the time portal, and a number of jeeps and people were ready to go through the time portal. "Pull out your tranq guns! We got animals to trap!" Ron drove through the portal, back 70 million years. Ron looked up to see the largest pterosaur of them all. "Quetzalcoatlus: named after an Aztec god and they fly around the world like albatrosses on steroids. Nigel's failed to bring back any pterosaurs from his trips. Not how I roll!" He took aim at the flying animals. "Nighty night!" The pterosaurs didn't see it coming. Most fell to Earth harmlessly, and the other teams recovered the sleeping giants of the sky. Dylan swerved around the P-51D-sized reptiles. "Jesus H. Christ, Ron, did you have to shot down the whole flock?" "I haven't shot them all down, Dylan!" Ron's gun clicked. "I'm out?" "How many did you shoot down?" "Well, there are 36 rounds in the tranq clip..." "36? Bob is going to kill you!" Ron reloaded the M4A1 and saw a nest in front of the Warthog. "Dylan, stop the Warthog!" The right front tire came damn close to crushing one of the eggs in the nest. "Back off. Right fucking now." The Warthog reversed and Ron hopped out, and looked at the eggs. "These eggs are huge, and most animals from this time are extinct, so I think I'll be taking these..." Ron started packing the eggs into a basket. "By the size of the damn things, I'd say they're dinosaur eggs, but which kind? There's dozens of species of them around her-Uh-oh." A large theropod dinosaur with a long crocodile-like snout was running toward them. "Oh, shit. It's a Spinosaur, but it's not a Spinosaurus. It looks like Baryonyx, but that's-Son of a bitch!" Ron dodged a claw swipe, and finally identified it: Irritator. "This thing's a cousin of Baryonyx, known from South America. But the two continents were once connected, so it's easy to assume-Fuck!" He ducked again as he dodged another strike from the Irritator. "DYLAN! HELP!" Dylan watched as Ron ran from the hungry dinosaur. "Nice. NICE. Ron, you always get your ass into things you shouldn't get in to." The other teams had captured the whole flock of Quetzalcoatls and now they were alive and well in the park. Then Ron ran toward the time portal, an angry dinosaur after him. Dylan sighed. "This is going to be a long day. And it's lunch time!"
Back at the Park
"36! He doesn't know the meaning of-Oh, my God." Ron and a dinosaur ran through the portal. "HELP!" "I'd say so!" He got to the ladder and climbed up before the dinosaur killed him. It did, however, bite into his leg. "MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE! HOW MANY DINOSAURS ARE GOING TO BITE MY LEGS IN THIS LIFETIME?" It let go after several kicks to the head. "Once again, I get my inner thigh ripped out!" He found the first aid kit in his backpack and gave himself a shot of antibiotics and morphine.
Three days later
Ron was back and he was pissed. The T-Rex siblings stopped roaring to look at the angry man as he drove by. "I fucking hate these British cars. The Americans finally get something right!" (AN: No offence to British drivers and readers: I'm Canadian, and it just looks wrong to me seeing the driver on the passenger side of the car) The Rexes backed off as he drove by. If there was such a meter for angriness, Ron topped it at OVER 9000! (AN: I love that joke) "Now we have an Irritator in the Park. Now I know how the paleontologists who found the skull felt." He passed the paddock the Irritating dinosaur was in. (AN: I made a pun!) He gave it an evil glare as he drove by. Dinosaurs, despite their reputation of being mindless killers, did have emotion and understood how members of their pack felt. The Irritator backed off and put his head on the ground to show he was submissive. Screwing with this human was a bad idea. He got to the time portal. Nigel and Bob were waiting there. "Ron! I'm happy you're back! Now we can get that Spinosaurus!" "Nigel, I'm very pissed off at the moment, so forgive me if I say something that I don't mean." Ron punched the steering wheel, breaking the wheel itself and starting screaming a number of things no one wants to hear. Ron sighed and walked toward Nigel. "Now that that's out of my system, let's go." Bob sighed. "He's an odd one." "I hired him because he's crazier then me." The two walked through the portal. Dylan was on the other side, smoking a Cuban. "Those are bad for you." "And I rarely smoke them. You do too, Ron!" "More sparingly then you." Ron hopped into the Hog.
Back at the Park
While Ron, Nigel and Dylan were in the past, Bob was looking at the flying reptiles that Ron brought back. "Well, Ron told me that these things would stay in one place as long as there was fish. I've been getting live fish from the cities nearby, but that's starting to become a problem." The flock was fishing out of the lake, but one was doing something odd. "I really need Ron to get back here quickly. A few of them are going crazy here!"
With Ron and Nigel
"RUN!" Six Spinosaurs and an Irritator were after Ron, and the others just looked on. "Oh, my God, not again. What is this, some kind of joke?" "FUCK OFF AND GET THESE THINGS OFF MY ASS!" Ron was running from a pack of three male and three female Spinosaurs and a female Irritator. "Head toward us!" Nigel had set up the time portal near the Warthog. While Ron jumped onto the Hog, the dinosaurs went through the portal. "You have the worst luck!" "Screw. You." Ron got up and landed near a very big head. "Oh, fuck." It was a Sarcosuchus imperator, and it opened its' mouth. "Why? Why ME?" The huge crocodile followed Ron and tried to eat him. "Does God just hate Ron or something?" "SHUT UP AND GET THESE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!" Four supercrocs, a pair of males and a pair of females, were after Ron. "For 6 ton crocs, they sure move fast!" Nigel and Dylan drove ahead and set up the time portal again. "Is this some kind of cosmic joke? I mean, in three days, Ron's been chased by 8 dinosaurs and 4 crocs!" "Believe me, it's not funny." Ron ran at them, with the angry and hungry crocs after him. He got onto the Warthog and the crocs went through the time portal. "God seems to hate me." "But we love you." "Fuck you, Dylan, and your fuckin' sarcasm."
The day after: Back in Prehistoric Park
Ron was looking in at the Irritator couple. Both wisely backed off. "Dinosaurs live for at least 50 years. They have long memories, small brains or no. And pissing me off is a big mistake." Ron cocked his gun. "I'm pissed off, and normally, that means something dies. I can't kill these cockbites, so I'm going to kill a few turkeys." Dylan was spying on Ron from the gate to the park. "He's pissed. Looks like we're having turkey." Nigel and Bob, on a trip to get some more supplies, found Dylan spying on the murderous Ron. "Holy shit is he pissed!" "What are you doing?" "If you're going out for food for the pterosaurs, don't. Ron's taking out his anger on the turkeys that we brought in." "We're actually going to pick up some supplies for the next trip." I ain't stopping you." The death rattles of a large number of turkeys were heard that night, and Ron went to bed with an evil grin.
Spinosaurus, Irritator, Quetzalcoatlus and Sarcosuchus: all within 3 days.
And if you think Irritator isn't a real dinosaur, search it up! It's a virtual clone of Baryonyx.
Next time: Herrerasaurus, Eoraptor and Argentinosaurus.