The Nightmare
"Very well" started Connie. "It all began when I caught the measles and was quarantined in my room at Mrs. Davis's. To make matters worse, Mr. Conklin had caught them from me, and was similarly under quarantine in the same house at the same time. Mrs. Davis's spare room was never that comfortable, and Mr. Conklin was convinced he had missed a presentation in his honour at his club."
"Turned out Mr. Conklin's club wasn't even meeting that month because a pipe burst and flooded it out" observed Phillip. "When the group met again four weeks later, Mr. Conklin was as punctual as ever, and received his reward!"
"We didn't know that for several days" observed Connie. "Meanwhile Mr. Conklin was incorrigible, in an increasingly foul mood, and running Mrs. Davis ragged. Why, he was treating her like a scullery maid! I, of course, could not help. As you remember, the advised treatment for measles at the time was to lie still in a darkened room."
"It was then I received a letter from Mrs. Nestor, of Nestor's Private Elementary Academy."
"That is an excellent institution" observed Daisy. "My son Edgar attended Mrs. Nestor's school. I should think you would have jumped at the opportunity!"
"Mrs. Nestor's academy is a fine place" agreed Connie. "Mrs. Nestor had advertised for employment in the new school year, at a higher salary than I been receiving. At the time Mr. Conklin had been positively oppressive. Furthermore, my finances were in desperate straights. I owed Mrs. Davis a full six weeks back rent, and her funds were also short as a result."
"Still, I didn't really want to leave Madison High School, and my friends and pupils. I was especially reluctant to leave a certain biology teacher."
Connie smiled. Phillip blushed red and cleared his throat.
"Mrs. Davis kindly wrote a letter to Mrs. Nestor, explaining I was indisposed and she would need to wait for a reply. I had all the time in the world to consider the matter, being disturbed by nothing but Mr. Conklin's distant bellowing. The darkened room and soft bed were highly conducive to sleep, even with the vexation of a severe case of measles. Mrs. Davis's chicken soup was similarly helpful to my rest and relaxation. As you surely remember, Mrs. Davis was an excellent cook when she wasn't experimenting with new and radical recipes."
"The result was that I slept through much of my illness and dreamed repeatedly the ensuing days. It was then I dreamt that I went to work for Mrs. Nestor."
"Was it so horrible?" Daisy objected.
"Yes" said Connie. "Some portions were not too bad, a few . . . hours it seemed, were quite pleasant. Nevertheless, my dream was overloaded with false starts, difficulties and ridiculous complications. Why, no sooner had I fallen asleep than I was fired!"
"Do you remember why you were given the sack?" Daisy asked.
"I should clarify" said Connie. "City council suddenly ordered the demolition of Madison to make way for a freeway. I was given the pink slip and only after some searching found work with Mrs. Nestor."
"Why should they build a freeway through Madison High?" Daisy asked, confused.
"It was a dream, after all" interjected Phillip. "Although dreams often have a relation to one's current concerns and recent events, it isn't required the events described therein be sensible or even physically possible."
"The mayor and city council decided that the frightful city traffic justified such a drastic step" Connie explained. "I suppose they had a point, as I hear the traffic in Los Angeles is dreadful."
"What does Los Angeles have to do with Madison High?" questioned Daisy.
"In my dream, Madison High School had somehow moved to the Los Angeles area" said Connie sarcastically. "Mrs. Davis's house was somewhere in Hollywood while Mrs. Nestor's school had been set down in the San Fernando Valley."
"It sure was ridiculous!" said Phillip.
"It sure was real!" countered Connie, angrily. "You were one of the Madison teachers who had retained their positions, and received a transfer to Monroe High . . . wherever that is! You made no effort to see me and immediately went about with an attractive female biologist at your new school!"
"But it was your dream!" Phillip said.
"It was still no reason to drop me like an old suitcase!" Connie replied.
"Was I in your dream?" questioned Daisy.
"No, you had disappeared into the infinite" Connie said in a deadpan tone. "Mr. Conklin was, however. He followed me to Mrs. Nestor's, as my new but old principal . . . but only after I had made the mistake of given him a piece of my mind when I left Madison High for the last time. As for Mrs. Nestor, I had a run in with her when leaving Madison. The end result was I found the two of them were allied against me from the very moment I set foot in my new position!"
"That's absurd" said Daisy.
"Perhaps" replied Connie. "As Alice might say, my dream only became curiouser and curiouser."
"How so?" asked Daisy.
"Mrs. Nestor was replaced at the school by her sister, Mrs. Nestor" started Connie.
"Why would Mrs. Nestor's sister also be named Mrs. Nestor?" Daisy interrupted.
"Two sisters married two brothers, and divorced the same?" Connie shrugged. "I honestly don't know. Nor do I know how Benny Romero, the child from Mexico who had payed a visit to Madison, became my student and a sort of junior Walter Denton."
"We were all fond of young Benny" Phillip submitted. "As a result, he appeared as a character in your subconscious."
"That makes some sense" agreed Connie. "And he was a good friend. So was Mr. Munsee, the Nestor sisters' brother. I don't know what to say about the two successive gym instructors, the Misters Albright and Talbot, who pursued me inexorably with what I presume were less than honourable intentions."
"Really?" asked Daisy.
"So I've heard" sneered Phillip
"While this was going on" continued Connie sternly, "in order to retain my position, I was forced to move to Mrs. Davis's sister Angela's house. Apparently I had to live within so many miles of Mrs. Nestor's school. Mrs. Davis herself followed suit, and then, in a most confounding development, Angela suddenly decided to move out and sell the house to her sister."
"Why did she move?" asked Daisy.
"I suppose she didn't like California and relocated here" suggested Connie sardonically. "No, she built a motel. Very confusing, really."
Daisy shook her head.
"However, Phillip was back." Connie continued. "It seemed as if he hadn't received a position at a nearby high school after all. He had moved to Arizona in order to acquire a new job. From that point onward, life at Mrs. Nestor's school seemed implausabily similar to my career at Madison."
"Was that all?" Daisy questioned.
"Oh no" said Connie. "There were several bizarre touches here and there. I imitated a nonexistent identical twin. A wartime black marketer blackmailed me. Mrs. Davis informed me of her past career as a balloon dancer named "Stratosphere Sally." I purchased several fifty-cent magical Christmas musical boxes and distributed them to my friends. Oh yes, out of the blue a maharajah proposed marriage and, fool that I was, I turned him down. Still, I suppose such events are all very much commonplace in the day to day life of Our Miss Brooks."
"How thoroughly ridiculous!" Daisy exclaimed.
"Wasn't it?" agreed Connie. "Nevertheless, between the measles, the dream, and my earlier doubts, I decided I definitely did not want to switch schools. I informed Mrs. Davis, and sent my regrets to Mrs. Nestor."
"I'm glad you did" said Phillip. "I don't know what I would've done without you."
"I don't know what you would have done without me either" said Connie kindly.
"I suppose it was all for the best" said Daisy. "I just don't hold with making decision based on superstition."
"Superstition?" smiled Connie. "I should tell you about Mrs. Davis and her Uncle Corky's telegram! I still remember when the telegram boy rang the bell. . . ."
The doorbell rang. Connie screamed.
"It's just the mail" said Phillip.
Connie walked over to the door, greeted the mailman and collected a series of fliers.
"Remember when we received actual letters in the mail!" said Daisy wistfully.
"In the old days, even the advertisements were of a superior quality" seconded Connie. "Let us see what we have here. Hmm, this is interesting. A coupon for half-off skydiving lessons. I really don't think so. Here's something. A new tattoo parlour's opening. I think not. The grocery store is having a sale on Hawaiian Cocoanuts, Pineapple and Kiwi. I haven't been enamoured with Hawaiian produce since the mess with the school goat and the school garden. In fact, I believe that was all your fault Daisy!"
"And the fool goat's!" added Phillip.
"Just a harmless prank" said Daisy, uneasily. "I am truly sorry. Still, you know, Connie, all's fair in love and war!"
"Well, your harmless prank caused me considerable trouble with Mr. Conklin and the head of the school board, Mr. Stone" said Connie testily.
"It was sixty years ago!" Daisy protested. "And I am truly sorry."
"Very well" said Connie, dropping the topic. "Looks like you spoke too soon Daisy! It's an actual letter. Speaking of sixty years ago! The letter's from Madison High School."
"Oh do open it!" encouraged Daisy.
Connie walked to a nearby desk, expertly opening the envelope with an old fashioned, knifelike letter opener.
"Well, this is fine" Connie observed acidly. "It's addressed to Mr. Boynton and Ms. Brooks. All my efforts to win my Mrs. and my surname seem to have been for naught, as far as Madison's concerned. Where's Osgood Conklin when you need him, to insist on decorum in school invitations?"
"Go on, Connie' encouraged Phillip, laughing.
"Well, let's see" Connie continued. "Madison High School is having a reunion assembly to celebrate the completion of a new wing and the rehabilitation and renovation of the original building. As old teachers . . . funny they don't use "former" but "old" . . . they cordially invite us to attend as guests of honour. Oh, this is lovely. As along with you, "Ms. Enright" we are among the "oldest teachers still alive" in the Madison area, our attendance would be considered a great honour, but only if our "health permits such an exertion in your advanced years."
"Humph." snorted Daisy. "Who could have written such a poison pen invitation?"
"The culprits are the "Student Committee for Reunion Planning" said Connie. "I suppose I'm not surprised. Walter Denton, as a high schooler, was always inadvertently intimidating my antiquity. That was when I was still quite young. Add in misplaced political correctness, and you receive this less than flattering invite. Don't smile, Daisy, I'm sure you have your own travesty awaiting you at your son's house!"
"Well I shan't go!" Daisy proclaimed. "Mind, I would have enjoyed the event, but this insult, inadvertent though it may be, is intolerable!"
"I believe we should go for the very same reason" said Connie. "I see it as a challenge. Although we may look our age, I'm not going to be called decrepit before my time. I am not going to let the students allege my advanced years have made me too sickly to attend!"
"I think it will be fun" said Phillip. "I would like to look over old haunts, maybe see what's happened to my biology lab."
"It will be at that" said Connie. "How about we drive you, Daisy? Then at least no one will think we are too old to be motoring along?"
"Oh, all right" Daisy conceded. "I do so want to go."
"The reunion assembly will be held a month from today" said Connie. "I'll email our RSVP's. It might surprise the students to learn we know what a computer is."
Authors' Notes
Fittingly enough, Miss Brooks and Mr. Conklin caught the measles in the radio episode entitled Measles.
In the final year of the television series, Our Miss Brooks went through a change of format. City Council suddenly ordered Madison High School torn down for a freeway. Miss Brooks and Mr. Conklin found new employment at Mrs. Nestor's private school. Oddly enough, the setting of Our Miss Brooks (and the "late" Madison High School) is unequivocally said to be in Los Angeles (In the television episode Who's Who, Mrs. Davis's house is positioned in the Hollywood area while Mrs. Nestor's school is in the San Fernando Valley).
The concurrent radio program continued as before - at Madison High School. When the movie was released toward the end of 1956, it ignored the move to Mrs. Nestor's. This story will follow suit, and consider the move to Mrs. Nestor's merely a dream of Miss Brook's.
The events described by Miss Brook's in her nightmare are plot points from the final season of the television series.
Miss Brooks suffered money problems throughout the radio and television series. These problems on occasion extended to Mrs. Davis as well.
Early on, the radio program featured a running gag whereby Mrs. Davis made a different strange or exotic dish for breakfast. Examples include "blubber burgers" (whale fried in seal fat), "Armenian pancakes" (soaked in sour goats' milk). Mrs. Davis was more restrained in later radio episodes and on television, although she does have her moments. In Public Property on Parade, birds flee her Limburger cheese omelette. In Life Can Be Bones,Mrs. Davis's cat Minerva jumps over the fence after sampling some spicy soup.
"Benny Romero" was a student and recurring character in the last season of the television series. The same child actor played the son of Mexican millionaires in the third season episodes The Miserable Caballero and Buddy.
In the radio episode Telegram for Mrs. Davis, Mrs. Davis, Walter Denton, Harriet and Mr. Conklin all refuse to open a telegram as they feared bad news and bad luck. Mrs. Davis insists Miss Brooks do likewise.
In the radio episode Spring Garden, Miss Enright takes the school's mascot, a goat, to graze in the school vegetable garden assigned to the care of Miss Brooks. In an effort to hide the missing vegetables, Miss Brooks and Mr. Boynton place produce from the grocery store. Unfortunately, Mrs. Davis supplants their stock with fruit from the then territory of Hawaii.
The radio and television episodes The Magic Christmas Tree, feature an attempt by Walter Denton to compliment Miss Brooks. Unfortunately, Denton only ends up implying that she is a very old woman. Walter Denton makes the same mistake on other occasions throughout the series. The radio episode Mr. Boynton's Parents, has Walter Denton and Harriet Conklin giving Miss Brooks a "shawl and a handsome pair of knitting needles to go along with the rocking chair she's so attached to." These unwelcome and ill-timed gifts were in "honour" of Miss Brooks being named "Mother away from Mother" on Mother's Day.