Chapter 4: 1924-1926

Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey.

Trigger warnings: Mentions of miscarriage.

1924

Anna had thought that she had already had her share of miserable Christmases. Perhaps though, this was the worse. She hadn't seen or had contact with her husband for months now, and everyone was keeping some sort of secret from her. She was no longer held in a cell, but she was still lonely as ever, the empty cottage a searing pain of reminder what her husband was willing to sacrifice for her.

And she was stuck in Downton, she couldn't go off to wherever he had ran to. He had some relatives still in both Ireland and Scotland, but Ireland was perhaps the safest option. She had the addresses somewhere - what happened to that proactive Anna would wrote to everyone in Vera's book?

John had commented to her about how strong she was, but she knew he was just saying that to make her feel better. She felt even more helpless now.

She had tried to get back into the swing of things just as she had told Lady Mary. But something happened on her second night back, something that she hadn't figured out what it was until she was in the midst of it. Another secret now to keep. She didn't think she could bear to tell John whenever she saw him again. Whenever that was. She had felt well enough to keep going to work. Physically anyway – emotionally, her soul was crushed even further. She tried not to dwell on it, maybe she was wrong about it… it would have been such early days if she was correct...

Time had blurred, the weeks in jail and now the tedious months without John all melded into one. December had magically began. Anna didn't even fathom getting a small tree for the cottage, nor put out her little Christmas trinkets.

Lady Mary and Mrs Hughes had all but demanded she go to the tenant party on Christmas Eve. She was dreading it – these things were only fun with John there anyway. But it was either that or stay at home trying not to cry.

Lord Grantham had had too much to drink and Anna grimaced as he excitedly waved his arms in front of her to go get some punch herself. She had thrown herself into trying to sing the carols but that hadn't been distraction enough.

Mrs Hughes lead her over to the side as they broke for more food and drink. "At least have a glass of water," the housekeeper said, handing her one.

Anna took it and muttered thanks.

"I know that there is nothing I can say to cheer you up, but..."

"It's quite all right Mrs Hughes."

"Just know that we are all thinking about you both."

As you often have to. Anna knew she meant well, she always did, and she always had eternal gratitude. She just wished for once things could be... normal.

Miss Denker appeared. Anna could feel her insides cringe.

"Oh, glad to see you are back, Mrs Bates."

Anna half smiled at the other lady's maid, but before she could even attempt to say anything in thanks, Miss Denker had launched into some odd gossip about Mr Spratt, which she barely heard.

Luckily, the family called them all to attention. Eventually, it was decided that Lady Mary would sing "Silent Night." Her ladyship had such a beautiful voice that Anna couldn't help a small smile. At least she had a kind employer who kept her on after disaster after disaster.

She hung out in the back this time, close to the tables, and far away from the over rosy Lord Grantham. There was some cheers for Mr Branson, and then more carols.

What were the words to this part of "O Come All Ye Faithful"? Oh well, she mumbled along.

"Happy Christmas."

The voice behind her made her jump and whirl around. First in panic, and then realization. The voice was John's.

He gently shushed her before she could get a word out, and then reached out to cup her face. Her hands found him - he was real, he was really there. They both had the same idea, and headed away from the crowd and into the hallway. They stopped, their hands together.

"But, how did you-"

"Sssh. We'll worry about everything else later. But for now, let's just have a very happy Christmas."

She still had so many questions, but they could wait for now. Her Christmas would indeed be happy because he was here. She smiled real big, and they continued towards the staircase, hand in hand. John paused to hook his cane on the railing, and Anna took this opportunity to stand on her tippy toes to kiss him. It was short but sweet, as he then took her into his arms and lifted her up. Her own arms now wrapped around his shoulders, she grinned.

He set her back down gently, her hands sliding down to his chest.

"Your knee is going to hurt in the morning," she chided softly.

He just smiled and then planted a kiss on the crown of her head. Finally he said, "Let's go home."

Anna nodded, but then flicked her eyes back towards the door to the party. "What about-"

"Mrs Patmore saw me, she can tell the others. And don't worry about Lady Mary. Miss Baxter can help her."

She protested no longer and they gathered up their coats to make the trek back to the cottage in the cold.

She knew that this did not solve everything, but she was with John, and he was home. Which mean that she finally was actually home now too.

1925

"Good morning." Anna felt John's lips against hers, waking her up. She mumbled and moved to snuggled against him, but discovered that he wasn't actually in bed, but rather sitting on top of it and already mostly dressed for the day, just missing his jacket.

"I'd let you continue to sleep, dear, but breakfast is ready and you've been insisting on going to the house today, and I believe they'll be expecting us at 11."

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, which was becoming harder to do each day. John had brought her a tray of food which handed to her, and then went to adjust the pillows behind her, his fussiness in full swing.

She smiled at the tray, but then stifled a yawn.

"The baby keep you up?" His tone was light but still with traces of worry.

She rubbed her expanded belly. "Just lots of kicking, the little one was very active." She wasn't one to complain to begin with, but she wasn't going to with all it took to get to this point.

He placed his hand on top of hers, hoping to have some sort of calming effect. "I just hope that when they arrive, I don't have trouble keeping up with them."

"I think you'll do just fine." Anna reassured him. "Perhaps he'll take to reading like his father anyway."

He grinned. "Maybe she will."

Anna smirked.

"Also, I have your gift waiting for you downstairs. I unfortunately cannot bring it up, so you'll have to see it on your way down before we head out."

"Yours is hidden my drawer," she said between bites of toast.

"Are you sure? Because I think its right here," he replied, grinning and patting her stomach.

"This is a shared venture, I'd say. And it's not quite here yet. But soon it will be." She beamed, and paused for a second before pointing to her bureau with the remainder of her toast. "Go on now."

He got up and went over to it, opening the drawer and retrieving a bundle. She nodded at him to open it. He torn off the paper and found a hand knitted scarf.

"All this time I thought that you were knitting something for the baby."

"Well yes, but I made you something matching." She smiled.

"I hope you make yourself one so that we all match then." He beamed at her, grinning at the idea of his family all wearing similar scarves. "Thank you," he said, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Anna finished her meal and got ready for the day, with some help from John. Normally at this time of day, he'd be at the house helping Lord Grantham dress instead, but since Anna's due date was nearing, Mr Carson had been stepping in on many mornings. That kind of thing would typically bother John, being paid in full when not doing all of his assigned duties, but it was actually quite glad of it, since it allowed Anna more time to rest. He and Lady Mary had finally convinced her that it was time to take her leave, with Miss Baxter taking over her duties. Anna grew restless though, and he dreaded the thought of leaving her alone all day where there was no telephone. So she still came to work with him, where she was about to occupy her mind and worry less. Her anxiety had been fading more into anticipation the further she made it into this pregnancy, and now they were only about two weeks away from welcoming their precious child.

Once they were downstairs, he led her over to the sofa, helping lower her onto it. She thanked him as he pushed a large package across the floor to her, which he had hidden away behind the back of their small Christmas tree.

"This is certainly the biggest present you've given me," she said, gesturing to the box. "Well and this," she said, smiling and patting her swollen abdomen and recalling their earlier conversation.

He smiled back and sat down on the settee next to her. "Go ahead," he urged.

"A new sewing machine!" she all but squealed as she opened it. She had always admired Miss Baxter's electric one.

"You've been using Mother's for far too long, I thought it was time to get you something more modern. You'll have to use it at work though but..." Well, work and then one day, perhaps in the hotel...

"It's perfect, thank you!" She turned and threw her arms around him. "I'm going to make clothes for the baby," she stated triumphantly, "and they will be the best dressed baby in Downton."

He chuckled. "Don't let Lady Mary hear you say that."

"Well, I can use it to do her mending as well," she retorted, although knowing that he was referring to Master George.

Anna grinned as she looked at the contents of the box again, and his heart swelled, not just because of his pride as an expectant father, but in his wife's confidence. She was so radiant and happy now. And he was luckiest man in the world and so blessed to be with her.

"Thank you so much," she said, looking back at him.

"Really though, thank you. You've given me the greatest gift of all."

Before she could protest that the baby wasn't here yet, he continued, "You've given me a future."

She grew misty eyed as their hands joined.

"And yes, that includes a family. But... it's all things I didn't think I'd have until I came to Downton and met you. You taught me what love is."

Raising her chin up, she kissed him in response. "Before I met you I didn't think I'd ever have all this either. If you never came to Downton, I'd be an old maid in addition to a lady's maid. And after what happened... I'm so grateful each and every day to call you my husband."

He returned her kiss, reliving that fateful day in April 1912 in his mind, so long ago. seemed like ages. The path to the present had been quite the bumpy one, but they kept moving forward, which is all one can do. The past could not be changed, and it had brought them here.

She sniffled as they pulled back. "Well now. No matter how many times we call the baby a gift, I don't think he or she will fit in a stocking though." Her lighter banter was to keep the overwhelming feelings at bay, knowing they'd soon have to make to the trek to the Abbey, but their love really couldn't be contained.

"Well then, we'll just have to get a bigger stocking."

"Perhaps we'll sew ours together. I do have that sewing machine now."

1926

The Bateses returned to their home, the tenant Christmas party at Downton Abbey leaving their hearts warm and full even in the chilly December air.

"You get him ready for bed, and I'll play Father Christmas," Anna said with a grin, passing the baby to John. William yawned and snuggled against his father's shoulder.

Anna went to fill Will's stocking and set out a special gift that they had chosen to give him for Christmas rather than his birthday. They had a few things set aside for him to open on the day that he turned one year old, and even though they knew he wouldn't remember this year, it was good to separate things out as a precedence. Both occasions deserved to be celebrated in their own right.

After she made sure that everything was perfect, she made her way to their son's room. John was just finishing getting Will into his pajamas.

"I was going to read to him, but he is already nodding off..." John gestured with a tilt of his head to the book on the dresser.

She glanced at the title and smiled. "Well, we can take him to our bed for a bit and you can at least read it to me."

They went into the next room over. Perhaps she ought to have changed into her own nightgown, but she did want to help put Will down for the night even if she also dozed off during the book. John of course would take no offense, she knew, as she ran her hand down to the small swell of her abdomen, kept hidden by her cream dress she wore to the party.

Anna climbed into the bed first, and then John passed Will to her. He the joined them, book in hand, and she positioned their little one so he was more between them. He was a little more alert than moments ago. John smoothed down the baby's hair, smiling. How wonderful everything was right now. How they had come through the past, and now the future was so bright. Anna caught his eye and smiled in return, her expression communicating the very same thoughts.

He opened the book and began to read:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads...

A/N: Sorry for the extra angst in 1924 – in my headcanon have placed the retconned miscarriage to be after S5E7 so that her lines in that episode still fit (and the timeline of S5E8 into S5CS is very iffy so who knows how long she's in jail and how long he is away), but then this places it in a rather cruel place. That said, it also explains that John wasn't around when it happened and didn't notice anything off with her (I also headcanon that the 'maybe third' was a prior just late period).

1925 was written purposefully to fill in the holes of chapter three of my fic "Great Expectations" which also features Christmas of that year. The sewing machine idea was borrowed from another fic of mine, but now in a setting that works with the canon.

Similarly, I have written 1926 to work with my fic "O Come All Ye Faithful" which features Baby Bates' first Christmas Eve. It also more or less fits with "Christmas Presents" about his first Christmas morning, which I wrote in 2015. There is a conflict between the two fics on a certain subject (;) ) but the overall idea is that they all fit together as his first holiday season.