AN: Don't own SPN or Crowley. But I do own a little crush on the King of Snark. Don't tell Dean.

I seem to be trapped in this bizarre loop of sleeping then waking then having witty cat-and-Mouse conversations with the King of Hell. Not everyday that these things happen, even to a Hunter like me. And I have to admit, after nearly a week, I'm kind of ready for this to be over so I can get back to my life. Such as it is.

"They said you're sprung, darling."

"I am?" I ask my uncomfortable companion.

"No infection, perfect vision in those pretty eyes. The small burns on your lovely face have healed. The breaks are on their way to setting well. The skittish sawbones feels you are ready to be released into the loving arms of your family." At this remark, he opens his arms and smiles. But the smile is tight and not altogether convincing.

"But?"

"But what, Little Mouse?"

"Crowley, where will I be going when I am released?"

"I haven't decided yet, love."

"Why? They haven't come to break me out of your nefarious clutches. I told you the Winchesters don't find me all that important."

"Yes, well. I'm not sure I'm done with you yet.' He gets up and turns his back on me, hands clasped behind him. "You see, my bestie up and left. And we were having such fun."

"Dean? Is that who you mean? Your bestie. Really?"

"You rather remind me of him, Nina. Naughty and hard exterior, a bit of half remembered innocence peeking through. Such an excitingly confused personality to muck about with."

"You're going to hold me hostage so that I can be your playmate?"

"I've been rather lonely as of late. It can be solitary and boring at the top. There aren't any real challenges anymore. Even during the angel war, the bloody goody-goodies only fought amongst themselves. There are no surprises. No fun. You, Mouse, are both."

"Crowley, we aren't friends."

"Come now, you know you love me. I'm nothing if not lovable."

"Crowley-"

"You've enjoyed our sparring. I know you have. I have, too. You're a smart girl, pretty, funny and sarcastic. I'm a handsome bastard and the king of banter, as well as Hell. We make a fine pair."

"Pair of what, exactly? What are you offering me?" I'm not sure I want to know.

He walks over to me. Stalks, really. He puts his hand on my unbandaged cheek, gently, and I let him.

"I'm offering you what he won't, Nina."

"And what is that, Crowley?" Comes a familiar voice. A voice that would have welcome just five minutes ago.

Now, I just don't know.

"Dean. Long time."

"Not long enough, Crowley. Thanks for taking care of my friend."

Stepping away from me with an inscrutable look, Crowley turns to face his frenemy. "Someone had to. She was left lying on the bloody floor, blind and broken. Squirrel, " he says with a nasty sneer, "you should take better care of your toys."

"She can take care of herself," I interject. "I'm right here, you know. And I don't need either one of you."

AN: Reviews are nice and make Crowley smile. Kinda.