"Ugh I am so fucking tired of him." Lily groaned, putting her head down on the bar.

"I wouldn't mind beating him up for you." Sirius was polishing glasses behind the counter. It was only three in the afternoon so there weren't any other people in the bar, just Sirius, Lily, and Remus beside her, reading a book.

"No cause then I'd have to tell James he was bothering me again."

"You still haven't told him?" Remus looked up from his book. Even though Lily was still twenty for a few more months, Sirius slid her a drink. From the looks of it, it had been a rough day.

"James knows he's in my english class. He doesn't know he's started asking me out again."

Remus put the book away. "He's what?"

"It's not a big deal, I've turned him down a couple times. He knows we're just friends." Lily took a sip of the drink Sirius had given her.

"It doesn't sound like it. He knows you're dating James, right?" Sirius asked. Lily didn't answer. "Lil?"

"It's difficult with Sev. Sometimes it's easier to just withhold stuff from him."

"You can hear the words you're saying, right?" Remus's concerned expression matched Sirius's behind the bar.

"I've known him since I was ten. I love Severus, but he can be a difficult person sometimes. I know how to handle him, don't worry."

"Ignoring his unwanted sexual advances isn't 'handling it,' Lils." Sirius and Remus shared a glance. "I know it's hard to cut toxic people out of your life, but…"

"He's trash Lily," Remus spat out, "Get rid of him." Lily took a deep swig of her drink.

"I know you worked with him Remus, but you guys don't know him like I do. You can't just cut people out of your life. It's not easy. You don't understand." Lily said.

Sirius's eyebrows went up. "I don't understand?" He set the glass down on the counter with a clink, his fist gripping the washcloth tightly. "My mother is a toxic alcoholic homophobe, and my father is a coward who worships the very ground she stands on. My brother was raised to believe in their bigot ideals and hates me because of them. I'm a gay liberal working minimum wage in a bar who comes from a family of bigoted selfish lawyers, so I think I could teach you a few things about cutting toxic people out of your life, Lily Evans."

Lily's face was red, maybe from the alcohol, but probably from being put in her place. She didn't know what to say to that.

"You should at least tell him you're dating James." Remus, book long forgotten, chimed in from his barstool, nervously monitoring Sirius from the corner of his eye. Lily didn't answer.

The truth was, the harassment had been going on long before Lily and Severus Snape reunited in college. They had met in fifth grade. Lily had been moved to the front of the class in an effort to get her to stop talking to her fellow classmates. But Lily would talk to anyone, and although the teacher had hoped seating her next to the quiet Snape boy would prevent further disruptions, the two were soon best of friends. She even had Severus talking out of turn.

They soon discovered that they lived in the same neighborhood, and their class time shenanigans spilled over into the weekends, Lily showing him how to catch frogs by the creek, and Snape showing her how to make origami birds.

They had grown up together. Lily was always trying to include him in activities with her other friends, never really understanding why they didn't seem to like him. Never really understanding why he didn't seem to like them.

It wasn't until eighth grade that Snape had asked her out the first time. He had waited after school to walk her home, his hair combed, and holding a flower.

She said no.

Lily wasn't interested in romance with Sev. He was her best friend and she didn't understand why that wasn't enough.

He didn't ask again until sophomore year of high school. Severus went to a different high school than Lily, but they still spent almost every weekend together, traipsing through the forest near their neighborhood.

Lily said no again. She was dating a junior at her own school.

Suddenly Severus didn't want to be friends anymore.

The first time Lily had rejected him, Snape had been able to convince himself that it was because she wasn't interested in romance at all, not just that she wasn't interested in romance with him.

Lily was crushed. It's not that she had never thought about dating Sev, it's just that when she did, there wasn't anything there. She loved hanging out with him, but there was nothing beyond that. And she had spent nights upon nights wondering why. Wondering that maybe if she just started to date him, the feeling would follow. Wondering if it was selfish of her, rude of her to deny his request when she obviously enjoyed his company. Wondering if it would be that bad to date him and just pretend.

But when Severus told her that if she had a boyfriend, he didn't want to be friends, something inside her changed. Suddenly he didn't seem like her best friend. It confirmed something for her. If he only wanted to be friends when she was single, then he was only friends with her because he thought he stood a chance. It confirmed that he wasn't friends with her because she was funny, or smart, or kind. He wasn't friends with her because of who she was, but because of what she was. A girl.

It took him two months to come back. It took her two months to forget it hurt when he left. They were friends again. Lily forgot that it hurt that he made her feel like an object. She forgot how betrayed she had felt when he left. Because she missed him.

Soon it was as if things had never changed. And when she learned they would be attending the same college, she was thrilled. Finally they'd be at the same school again. She could introduce him to her high school friends. He could hang out with them, put faces to the names in stories she had told them.

But Snape had no interest in meeting her other friends. He only wanted to hang out with Lily alone. She pretended it didn't matter.

But recently, Lily was starting to become uncomfortable. He sat too close to her in class, let his gaze linger for too long. She had told him that their relationship was strictly platonic. When he had tried to put his arm around her during one of their movie nights, she had told him no, it made her uncomfortable. He did it anyways. She left early.

When she thought about ending their friendship, she couldn't see Severus for what he had become but for what he had been. The little fifth grader unfolding his paper crane so he could show her how to make one. The seventh grader screaming as she chased him around with a frog in her hands. The ninth grader staying up all night with her to talk about superhero movies until neither of them could keep their eyes open anymore.

She didn't want to think about it. So she let him sit too close. She let him stare too long. And she hoped when she told him about James, he wouldn't leave so fast.

But soon, Lily couldn't ignore it any longer. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she walked into her 9:00 English class, and took her spot next to Severus. She and James had been up all night arguing. She had told him about Severus. Well, he already knew about Severus, but she had told him the whole of it. He hadn't been too pleased.

While she had agreed to tell Severus that her and James were dating, James wanted him completely out of her life.

But she couldn't. And James, knowing he couldn't make decisions for her, as much as it killed him that she let Sev treat her like that, told her he'd support her. But he also told her he'd fight for her.

So as she slid into her seat next to Severus, who was also trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes, she told him.

"I have a boyfriend, Sev, I thought you should know."

Severus was awake now. "Excuse me?"

"His name is James and we've been dating for almost a year." She faced the front of the class and tried to pretend she didn't see the rage building between his ears.

"Alright, I hoped everyone finished the reading last night, because we're going to have a quiz." The professor started passing papers out.

"Lily." Snape hissed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I thought you'd be upset."

"No talking please." The professor got to their row, handing them quiz papers before moving on to the next students.

Lily avoided eye contact and began to take her quiz. Her and James had spent so much time talking last night that she hadn't had time to read. She was utterly fucked.

"Lily." Severus hissed again. She didn't answer. The professor shushed them from the front of the room.

The class passed their papers to the front and the professor began the lecture.

Wanting to talk, but not wanting to cause a scene, Severus began to pass Lily notes. She tried to ignore it, she really did, but then she saw what he had written.

If you've been dating him for almost a year, why have you been leading me on?

Leading him on? How dare he, Lily thought, before furiously scribbling her own response.

Leading you on? I made it very clear to you I wanted nothing more than a platonic relationship. It's not my fault you chose to ignore me.

She passed the note back, fighting the urge to wad it up and throw it at him, flinching a little when she saw his lips pull back in a snarl as he read her response. Soon his pencil was on the paper, scribbling away.

Because hanging out alone with me on weekends, and getting lunch with me once a week is totally platonic.

Lily choked back a scream.

I hang out with you because we're friends. I told you I didn't want a relationship with you. There's nothing ambiguous about the word no.

You're a tease, Lily Evans.

I'm not doing this anymore, Sev. I'm happy with him. A friend would be happy for me.

She passed the note back, and tried with all her might to pay attention to the professor. Sev wrote something back, but she didn't look.

He took the note back and wrote something else, but she didn't look.

She didn't look.

She didn't look.

She subtly pulled her phone out of her bag to send a text. She had class all the way across campus after this and didn't want to walk alone. James was in chemistry lab for two more hours, but Sirius should be waking up right around now.

Lily(Sirius, can you walk me to my next class?)

A few minutes passed before his reply.

Sirius(Yeah sure. You ok?)

Lily(I told Sev. He didn't take it well and I don't want him to corner me after class.)

There wasn't any point in lying. Sirius's reply came at lightning speed this time.

Sirius(I'm on my way.)

Lily started packing her book bag before class ended so she could leave as fast as possible. As soon as the professor said "See you next class," she was out of her seat and halfway to the door.

"Lily!" Sev called behind her.

She didn't look.

Sirius was waiting right outside and he matched his pace to her hurried stride as soon as she flew out of the door.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, let's go." They started across the courtyard.

"I wasn't worth a date and now I'm not even worth a second glance?" Sev called, stopping Lily in her tracks. That comment had caught the attention of a few passerbys, including Remus who was crossing the courtyard in the other direction. When he recognized Severus, he began to run towards them.

"Why does me not wanting to date you make me the bad guy?" Lily had turned on her heel and was facing him now, giving him the second glance he so desperately wanted.

"I have been nothing but nice to you. For years I've had to play the role of the best friend, while everyone else in that damn highschool got a turn at dating you." They were shouting at each other now.

"You had to play the role of the best friend? Don't complain about being given the role you auditioned for." Sirius was holding Lily's arm, trying to prevent a punch he had seen building up.

"Let's go Lil, he's not worth it." Sirius whispered. Remus had reached them and was standing tensely next to Sirius.

"Why not me, Lily? God, I was so nice to you."

"Nice doesn't make you special Severus. I was nice to you too. And I did it because I was your friend not because I wanted to fuck you."

"Lily," Sirius whined, tugging her farther away.

"You were too busy fucking everyone else to have time for me I suppose. Slut." Severus spat the word at her feet, the weight of it making Lily reel. Remus and Sirius stood slack jawed. Sirius let go of her arm.

"I dated two people in high school, Severus. I know that seems monumental to you-"

"Lily, let's go." Remus had moved forward this time, reaching to pull her back, knowing a fight could get her expelled.

"Oh back off, faggot. She needs to answer for what she's-" Severus couldn't get the rest of his sentence out.

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?" Sirius's voice cut through the murmurs of the crowd. Severus hadn't just called Remus what Sirius thought he had. He pushed Remus and Lily behind him, taking immense pleasure in the fact that Snape visibly shrank away as Sirius approached him. He struggled to keep the string of expletives down, knowing Severus wasn't worth it. "We're leaving." He dragged Lily and Remus away.

"That's right. Run away, cunt." Severus shouted at Lily's back. Sirius broke before the other two. Remus reached for the hem of Sirius's shirt but he was already halfway across the courtyard in Snape's face.

"Listen the fuck up, Snivellus. I don't know where the fuck you get off, but trust me when I say that the women of the earth would thank you if you up and died. You bother my friend again and I will turn into your worst nightmare. I work nights and have no problem using my whole fucking day to terrorize you and make you fucking miserable. In fact I would enjoy it. So back the fuck up before I get Remus to give you a blood transfusion."

Sirius's heart stopped as he heard the words leave his mouth. That wasn't what he meant that wasn't what he meant that wasn't what he meant.

Snape didn't have time to respond before Remus was dragging Sirius away from the crowd, away from outside eyes and into an empty building.

That wasn't what he meant.

Lily followed them, slack jawed, wondering if she should call James, or Marlene.

Remus pulled him into an empty classroom and all but threw him into a seat.

"Remus I-"

"Don't you fucking dare." Remus shut him up with a look, his trembling voice barely above a whisper. Lily stood hesitantly in the doorway, wondering if she should even be there. Remus didn't look up, just pointed a finger in her general direction. "Get out." She left.

Sirius's heart was in his throat. He had never seen Remus so angry before. He had never made Remus so angry before. That wasn't what he meant.

Remus was silent but his body language was screaming. His hand were shaking as he held them over his mouth. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were darting around the room, furious. Looking everywhere but at Sirius where days ago Sirius was all they had seen. When he spoke, Sirius had to lean in to hear him.

"That's my life Sirius. You don't get to use it to prove a point."

"I know Rem, I'm-"

"That's my LIFE Sirius." His voice was loud now, jumping from a whisper to a shout. "That was privileged information, you don't get to just toss it around!" There was nothing in Remus's mind but white hot anger.

Sirius could feel his heart break with every word Remus spoke. He sat there defenseless, knowing Remus was right, knowing he had fucked up. He had fucked up, fucked up, again, like always. "I'm so sorry Rem-"

"Shut your fucking mouth." Remus stood silent for another minute. "Do you know how long it took me to work up the courage to tell you that? How dare you take that away. How dare you think yourself privileged enough to share that with somebody...somebody like him in front of a crowd full of strangers." Each word cut Sirius like a knife, but Remus was bleeding faster and harder from the knife in his back. And Sirius knew it.

"I would never wish what I go through on my worst enemy. And Snape isn't my WORST FUCKING ENEMY." The veins in Remus's temple were bulging, his rage barely contained within his small frame. "He's an asshole, and a jerk, and I hate him for what he does to Lily, but what the FUCK, Sirius?" Remus spat Sirius's name out like it tasted of gasoline.

"It was selfish, and thoughtless, and you used it for your own sake. You used me Sirius." Remus paused, the gears clicking in his brain. He had finally found what he need to sharpen the knife that would cut Sirius in half. Because all Remus wanted to do right now was hurt Sirius. To show him how it felt when someone took your worst qualities and twisted them out into the open. Because if Sirius was going to tear a gaping hole in Remus's chest, Remus was going to tear Sirius one to match.

"You're just like your family. Doing what you want at the expense of someone else. It's something your mother would do." He had thought it would help but it only made the ache in his chest worse as he watched the tears spill down Sirius's face. Still he dealt the final blow. "You're just like your family. And Black is not a good color on you."

Remus wiped at his own face, just now noticing the tear tracks down his cheeks. He composed himself a much as he could, and started towards the door, headed for his next class.

He paused, one hand on the door frame, and spoke over the quiet sobs behind him. "Don't come home tonight. I'll leave your things on the front step."

He left, sitting mere minutes later in his math class, like nothing had happened.