The Heroes Parody Project
Season 4
Chapter 4
Author Note: I actually finished this ON Thanksgiving Day but didn't have time to give it a second read through before I wanted to post it. Then Black Friday came and that was terrible, so here we are on Saturday. Happy Late Thanksgiving!
Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue.
Peter runs into his apartment with a bag in hand. He rips open the box inside.
Peter: Finally, an Iphone 4S! I've been wanting one of these since it was announced! Granted I'm now behind Iphones 5, 5-S, 6, 6-SG1, 7.5, and the rerelease of the original Iphone, but baby, I'm going places.
Peter turns on the phone.
Peter: That's right. Now I have the help of the automated assistant helper Siri to help me with all my daily menial tasks.
Peter talks into the phone.
Peter: Hello, Siri!
Siri: Hello, Peter. How may I assist you today?
Peter: Hold my calls.
Siri: I am not programmed…
Peter turns off the phone.
Peter: All in a day's work.
The next day.
Peter turns his phone on.
Peter: Goooood morning, Siri. What is on my list of things to do today?
Siri: Happy Thanksgiving, Peter. You are scheduled to attend…9 Lunch Events.
Peter: N..N..N..N..N..NINE? What happened? I don't remember scheduling those!
Siri: I took the liberty of looking up the personal schedules of your contact list and R.S.V.P-ing to their invitations to Thanksgiving Dinner.
Peter: This is it. The machines are taking over.
-4:45pm Angela's House-
Peter walks in.
Angela: Peter! There you are! Dinner is almost ruined because of you. Here, take this axe and get chopping!
Peter: Am I looking for a Thanksgiving Tree?
Angela: No, you're looking for Thanksgiving dinner. Fortunately a herd of Turkeys have made their way into my back yard, but they're defecating in my brand new Gazebo! So get to beheading, young man.
Peter: Yeesh!
Peter steps outside.
Peter: Okay, if I find the smallest Turkey here, then maybe I'll have room for my other meals.
A tiny Turkey waddles up.
Peter: Excellent! Prepare to die!
Peter swings the axe backward and flings it out of his hand in the opposite direction.
Some other turkey: ACK! GOBBLE!
At the table.
Angela: Peter, you managed to catch the largest turkey in the bunch. Great job! You get to clean out the Gazebo when we're finshed!
Peter: Ugh….
-5:00pm Nathan's House-
Peter (in the car with Nathan): You're having a separate Thanksgiving? Why didn't you just bring Heidi and the kids over to Ma's house?
Nathan: Well, that would be awkward.
Peter: How can you even eat? I'm stuffed.
Nathan: I just had one slice of turkey, some potatoes, and a piece of bread. You're the one who ate 10 deviled eggs.
Peter: But they were so good.
At Nathan's.
Heidi: Who's ready for….who ate all the deviled eggs!
Peter: uuuuggghhh….
-5:45pm Matt's House-
Matt: Hey, Peter! Thanks for coming to The Parkman Family Thanksgiving!
Peter: No sweat. Listen, my stomach's not feeling so….
Matt: Not full enough, you say? Well, fortunately, Grandma Parkman made her delicious Green Bean Casserole.
Peter: Uggh….
Grandma Parkman: Oh, Matty, I'm so glad that you have your friends over to eat my delicious Green Bean Casserole. It makes me so happy that my family can enjoy my food before I croak!
Peter: *Groan*
-6:30pm The Bennet's-
Noah: Peter! Glad you could make it.
Peter: So….full….
Noah: Of excitement, you say? Yes. It's only this time of year that Sandra makes her famous Turducken.
Peter: What the hell is that?
Sandra: It's a Turkey that is stuffed with a Duck, and the Duck is stuffed with a Chicken!
Peter: I'm going to be sick.
At the table.
Claire: So, how many of these things do you have to go to?
Peter: This is my fourth today, I have 5 more.
Claire: I once dated a boy who had a really fast metabolism. He claimed it was a power but tons of people have that. It's like, genetics, or something. I'd ask Mohinder but then I'd have to talk to him and…(laughs)…why would I do that?
Peter: Pass the Tums, please….(Peter grabs the bowl on the table and shoves a handful in his mouth)
Claire: Those are after dinner mints….who just keeps a bowl of Tums at the table?
Peter: BLEH!
-7:00pm Niki's House-
Niki: Hey, Peter, thanks for coming. I….actually got caught up in some stuff and forgot to go buy food for Thanksgiving dinner.
Peter: Oh, thank god….
The doorbell rings.
Niki opens the door.
Man: Niki Sanders! You've just won our Thanksgiving Clearing House! You've won this delicious Thanksgiving Dinner!
Niki: Wow, that's wonderful!
Man: Now, don't mind us while we watch you and your guests eat it.
Niki: This is just great. This will be much better than eating out of the bowl of Tums I had sitting on the table.
Peter lunges for it.
-7:30 Sylar's-
Sylar: Peter, there are 2 Turkey's. One made by that man who I guess is related to me.
Samson: Hello.
Sylar: And one is mine. But one of them is filled with a deadly poison. So….eat carefully.
Peter: Can't I just eat one kernel of corn and call it a day? In fact, can I just smell the food instead?
Sylar: But we have to find out which one is poisonous! I've elected you to eat both turkeys to determine which one is the bad one. Don't fail me or…well, I don't have any powers now, but when I do get them…I'll get ya.
Peter: Hand me the fork.
-8:00 Hiro's-
Hiro: Hi, Peter. You remember my father, Kaito?
Kaito: Hello, Peter. My chef prepared this delicious feast. I hope you will eat until you pop.
Peter: Well, I wouldn't want to take any food away from anyone else. Just a small piece of lettuce will suffice.
Kaito: And dishonor my chef? I will not have it!
Kaito grabs his sword.
Peter: Okay! I'm eating! I'm eating!
Kaito: Well, I was going to let you do the honors of cutting the first slice, but you seem to have everything under control. Bon appetit!
-8:30 Elle's-
Elle: Oh, hey Peter…man, I am stuffed.
Peter: Me too! Guess that means we won't be eating dinner here, huh?
Elle: HA! Me, cook? Are you nuts? You're the one who had your little assistant invite everyone over for Thanksgiving at your place.
Peter: Who what to the what now!
Elle: Yeah, everyone was going to do their own dinners, then we all meet up at your apartment for another meal. Hopefully you didn't go too far out of your way.
Peter: Uh huh…
Back at the store.
Peter: I'm returning this Iphone 4S. It's evil and plans things without my knowledge. I don't even want to look at another Iphone ever again.
Peter walks out and sees the ad for the new Iphone. He turns around and walks back into the store.
Previously On Heroes…
Nathan (to Elle): I need you and the Haitian to go with this nice man while Tracy and I investigate. He calls himself Trucker Dan.
Elle: But he's creepy!
Ando: Internet stripper (to Tracy), I need your help finding Hiro and Daphne! They both disappeared last season and I can't find them.
Tracy: Hmm…we could use Hiro's help in the rescue mission.
She calls Nathan.
Tracy: Nathan, I'm off to go mingle around in another subplot.
Arthur (To Angela): I will let you go, but you need to do something for me. I want the Company back under my control. I'm sure there will be no problems since one of your new subordinates will be this person.
Arthur hands her an envelope.
West and Claire are in the woods. Nathan falls in front of them.
Claire (to West): Did you just shoot my dad?
West: Maybe….
Noah and Peter
The Company Main Building
The elevator doors open to the main office of The Company building. Noah steps off, followed by Peter who is playing Tetris on his phone. A giant block piece comes down that reads:
Chapter Four 'A Deadly Forecast'
Peter: Now where in the world am I going to put that piece!
Noah: Peter, we have to look around and try to find Angela. She has been missing for over 48 hours. Why, oh why did I have to play along with that stupid Halloween Haunted House shtick?
Peter: I don't recall you having any interest in that. Pretty sure me and Sandra did all the work.
Noah: Well, let's start looking through things. Maybe we can track down our number one go to helper in finding anyone.
Peter: Santa?
Noah: Uh, no…I'm talking about Molly.
Peter: Hmm, probably should take her power the next time something like this happens. (Holds up his phone) Siri, make a note to copy Molly's power to…oh, wait; I got rid of that phone.
Voice: That won't be necessary.
Peter: Santa?
Angela steps out of the shadows.
Noah: Angela, where the hell have you been? We've been searching for you everywh…er….here for a long…uh…5 minutes ago….
Angela: We have a problem, Noah. Someone has returned who is going to be a big problem for us.
Peter: It's Santa, isn't it?
Noah: Would you shut up about Santa?
Ted Sprague
Arthur's Secret Holding Facility
Ted is walking down the hallway; he peeks around the corner to see two guards.
Ted: Hmm….this would be a lot better if I had powers of some sort.
Micah and Molly run up.
Ted: What are you two doing here?
Micah: We got tired of Sylar and Samson squabbling. So we booked it.
Molly: I wonder where Arthur took Angela.
Ted: We need to get past those guards. Hold on, here comes one. Stay back.
The guard walks around the corner, Ted knocks him out.
Ted: Okay, I'm going to get in his clothes and pretend to be a guard. You guys wait here.
Ted starts putting on the uniform.
Ted: Okay….pants…too tight. Damn! I'll have to wait for the next one.
Ted knocks out another guard that turns the corner. He starts putting on his clothes.
Ted: Is there a ketchup stain on this guy's uniform? Well, I'm not going to walk around looking like a slob. I'll wait until the next one.
15 minutes later.
Molly: Are you done?
Micah: Yeah, I think you've knocked out everybody on the payroll. We all could probably just stroll right on out of here.
Ted: Fits like a glove…hmm….Not digging the shoes.
Micah and Molly glare at him.
Ted: Okay, Okay, I'm going. These wall panels are removable, hide in them until I get back.
Micah: No way! We're coming with you. We're Heroes now.
Ted: Nope. Pretty sure you're powerless. Just like me.
Micah pulls out his laptop.
Micah: I'm still useful. I'll just hack into Arthur's accounts and totally ruin his credit score.
Ted: A, he's been dead so I'm pretty sure he doesn't need one right now. And B, he has your power, with the wave of a hand he can kill all our credit scores. And mine's bad enough with this damn Burger King Credit Card. I'm still paying on a Whopper I had 5 years ago. Damn interest rates!
Micah: Do you want the two dollars to pay off your sandwich?
Ted: No, that's how they get you.
Molly: Huh?
Ted: Someone's coming! Quick! Into the wall panel.
Micah and Molly slip into the wall, Ted runs off.
Guard: Where did all these bodies come from? Are these our guys?
Other Guard: It looks like someone tried on all their clothes….that's creepy.
West Rosen
In the woods where he totally shot Nathan on purpose.
West: NO I DIDN'T!
Claire, Niki and Mohinder run up.
Claire: Okay, West, I got help.
West: I'm confused. Can't you heal? Why don't you give him some of your magic blood or whatever?
Claire: Well, I can't just GIVE it to him. We need to inject it into his body.
Mohinder: With the help of this book.
Niki: Ugh, Mohinder thinks that this place where this serial killer lives may have the tools needed to save Nathan's life.
West: Or….kill him, along with us, quicker?
Niki: THANK YOU! That's what I've been trying to tell these idiots…wait….where's Matt?
Matt runs up with a wheelbarrow.
Matt: Emergency Service is on the scene! We're gonna save the patient and catch that shooter. Book em', Danno!
Matt leans over to Niki.
Matt (to Niki): You're Danno.
Niki: Hmph. Anyway, speaking of emergency services, that house of yours has no phones! And the cell phone service is terrible up here. Just saying.
Matt drags Nathan and throws him into the wheelbarrow, which tips over.
Matt: Well, crap a duck!
Niki: Wait, what's that noise?
WOOOOOOOOO-CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Mohinder: Oh, that's a relief. It's just the Smoke Monster from LOST.
Niki: Not that! I hear something else….footsteps…..we're being followed.
Mohinder: BY THE SERIAL KILLER!
Niki: Great, Mohinder, why don't you just keep screaming as loud as you can? That'll keep him away from us.
Matt and Nathan are in the wheelbarrow.
Matt: Can someone push us?
Niki: We better hurry, before night falls.
The sun starts to set, but not before the eclipse of the week.
= = =HEROES= = =
And now it's nighttime.
Niki: Dammit!
Elle and The Haitian
On the road with Trucker Dan
Elle and The Haitian are sitting in the front seat with Trucker Dan.
Dan: You guys like possum? I got some brewing in the back.
Elle: Um, no.
Dan (to Elle): Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?
Elle: Well duh! (To herself) Oh crap, this man is going to start putting the moves on you. Of course he is! Look at him! He's a Stage Five Creeper! Not to worry, Elle, you got this. Just remember everything you learned in your self-defense class.
FLASHBACK.
Teacher: Now remember, students. Don't be afraid to yell for help when someone is attacking you. But now we're going to learn some proper self-defense moves that can save your life.
Across the street at Baskin Robbins.
Elle: So, is there a way you can put all 31 flavors in one cup? I can't make up my mind so I just want the whole thing.
Clerk: We don't have a cup that large.
Elle (laughs): Oh, no. Just a little bit of each flavor in just one regular cup.
Clerk: I guess.
Elle: Just start with that one.
Clerk: That'll be 4 dollars.
Elle: I have to pay first? Well, I guess that's fair.
Elle opens her electronic talking wallet.
Wallet: You have no money. You are totally broke. In fact, I don't recall you ever putting money in here. What a bum!
Elle: Heh, heh…..Stupid electronic wallets. Do you accept the Burger King Credit Card?
Clerk: No.
Elle: That's probably for the best. I'm still paying on a Whopper I had 5 years ago. Damn interest rates!
Clerk: ….
Elle: ….
Elle flings the wallet in the clerks face and leaps over the counter, picking up a tub of chocolate ice cream.
Clerk (pulling on the tub): HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!
Elle: NO! My taxes pay your salary!
Clerk: I'm hourly and no they don't!
BACK ON THE TRUCK.
Elle (To Dan): Listen, fresh! I'm not going to stand for you hitting on me, though it's totally deserved. Because let's face it, I'm super cute!
The Haitian rolls his eyes.
Elle: So, take this!
Elle zaps a few bolts of electricity at him.
Haitian: Um, what are you doing?
Elle: Teaching our friend a lesson.
Haitian: Well, that's another mind I'll have to wipe.
Elle zaps the trucker a few more times.
Elle: Hey, why aren't you…dying or anything?
Dan: Hmm? Oh, that electric stuff doesn't affect me. In the big house, they've tried to execute me so many times it's not even funny. When the prison got one hell of an electric bill they decided to keep me alive.
Elle: Well, that sucks. (To The Haitian) Wipe him!
Haitian: Could you phrase the differently? 'Wipe him' sounds kinda gross.
Elle: Oh yeah, it does. Well, Erase-Away!
Haitian: That one's just awful.
Elle: Just do something.
The Haitian holds out his hand and wipes Dan's memory.
Dan: Hm? Oh, that mind erase stuff won't work with me, man. They've tried to erase my memory ever since I stumbled into some top secret alien experiment stuff at Area 51. Still, clear as a bell.
Elle: Hashe?
Haitian: Yeah.
Elle: Are we screwed?
Haitian: Yeah….we're screwed.
Back at the Company.
Peter: Wait, hold the phone. Dad's alive again?
Angela: Yes, and he's taking over the Company.
Noah: And you're letting him?
Angela: Yes, he still has Micah, Molly, Sylar and Samson imprisoned and he's going to kill them. I had to agree to let him do…oh wait, and some guy named Ted, I always forget about him, anyway, I had to agree to let him do the takeover. Because of this...
She hands him the envelope, inside is the picture of…
Angela: My sister, Alice.
Peter: Ah, yes, Aunt Alice. Hey, didn't we find her before?
Angela: Yes, but she ran off again….something must have upset her.
-2 Christmases Ago-
Angela: Okay, Nathan, open up your present. It's from Aunt Alice.
Alice: I hope you like it, Nathan. I made it myself.
Nathan: Oh boy….socks.
Peter: Oh awesome! Socks! Now I finally have something to put my feet in!
Angela: Now, boys. What do you say to Aunt Alice?
Peter: Thanks, Aunt Alice!
Nathan: Um….was there anything else from Aunt Alice?
Alice: Did you not like the socks, Nathan.
Nathan: It's not that…..it's just….well….socks….kinda….well…..it….sort of…well...sucks.
Alice starts to rise into the air; she spreads her arms as a strong wind blows out the windows. Furniture starts to fly around.
Nathan: Hmm. That's not good.
Peter: Oh man, ma is going to be miffed when she sees this.
Angela: Who wants cookies? (The tray blows out of her hands) AHHHH! MY COOKIES!
The roof starts to rip off.
Angela: NATHAN MAXWELL SHEFFIELD PETRELLI! WHAT DID YOU DO!
Nathan: And she automatically thinks it's my fault.
Peter: Well, it kinda is.
Nathan grabs onto the coffee table.
Nathan: Aunt Alice! I'm sorry, the socks were….You know what? I can't do it; socks are just a terrible Christmas present!
Peter: There goes the bathroom.
Peter: Ah, yes, good ol' Aunt Alice.
Angela: We have to find her, Noah.
Noah: Wait, did you say Molly was being held captive?
Angela: Well…
Noah: We need to rescue them first. Then we can…
Angela: Arthur took our powers.
Noah: Come again?
Angela: Arthur took all our powers….except for Samson's, which we all agreed was a wise choice.
Noah: So….we're going to need someone with powers. Peter?
Peter: The time is now 12:03pm. I have the power to tell time. I'm basically a watch.
Noah: Why would you pick that up!
Peter: Because….I don't have a watch. Hey, for Christmas maybe I can ask Aunt Alice for a watch instead…hmm, no I really need new socks.
Noah: Well, that's not going to help us! Okay, new plan.
Angela: And that is?
Noah: We're going to have to find Alice, make her join us, then Peter will copy her powers. Then we all can all storm Arthur's hideout.
Peter: I hope so, because I really need those new socks.
Meanwhile, in the woods. Its pitch black outside.
Niki: Allright, Mohinder, how far away is this cabin?
Mohinder: It's not too far away. This map has a trail leading to it.
Niki: Wait a minute. This diary of a serial killer, which was found at West's lake house, has a detailed map telling you where to find the killer's house?
Mohinder: I know, how convenient! Probably so he wouldn't get lost.
Niki: Or probably so he'll lure us into a trap and kill us!
Mohinder: Oh Niki, that sounds….probable.
Niki: UGH! Well, we have no choice, let's keep moving, we have to save Nathan.
Matt: Anybody else notice it's really dark outside for it being 12:03pm?
Ando and Tracy
Not too far away from Danko's Office
Tracy: So, we need to find Hiro and Daphne. I wouldn't even know where to look. Have you tried asking that Molly girl? I've heard everybody just goes to her because they're too lazy to look for themselves!
Ando: Sure does.
Tracy: What's wrong with you? You seem nervous. For the last time, I'm not an internet stripper! That's my sis….
Ando stops her turns around to see Tracy standing there. She holds her hand up to her neck and pulls out a tranquillizer dart. She collapses.
Ando: …
Some men run up and drag her off, behind them walks up Linderman.
Linderman: Excellent work, Ando.
Ando: Now tell me where Hiro is!
Linderman: Of course. He's is stored in one of my other offices. 34th and Park Avenue. Building C. Ninth floor.
Ando: You better not be lying to me.
Ando starts to run off. He turns to look back at Tracy.
Ando: I'm sorry, Internet Stripper. This was the only way, I promise we'll come back and rescue you.
Linderman: Oh, and Ando.
Ando: What?
Linderman: He's currently hooked up to a device and preoccupied at the moment. Don't try anything too rash or it will kill him.
Ando: ….
He runs off.
Linderman walks over to Tracy. He leans down.
Linderman: Long time, no see, Ms. Sanders.
Back in the forest, Niki and the others approach the cabin.
Niki: Looks like nobody is inside. Come on.
Niki busts through the front door. Matt wheels Nathan in.
Mohinder: Okay, let's start looking around. Try to look for a blood transfusion machine.
Claire: This is stupid! Why would someone have a blood transfusion machine in their…
Niki: Closet!
Niki rolls out the machine.
Claire: ….um….okay.
Matt sets up his camera.
Mohinder: What on Earth are you doing?
Matt: Uh, making my movie. Did you forget?
Mohinder: I never bothered to remember.
Matt: Okay, Nathan's the patient, Mohinder's the doctor, Claire's the cheerleader who's about to be killed cause this IS a horror flick, West is the murderer and Niki…..you can still be Danno. AAAND ACTION!
Mohinder starts hooking up several devices. He inserts a tube into Claire's arm.
Mohinder: You guys are the same blood type, right?
Claire: Sure, why not?
Mohinder: Works for me.
Niki is walking around; she is shuffling through a desk. She picks up a photo.
Niki: Is this serial killer a Truck Driver? Man I hate to be riding with him right now.
Meanwhile, Trucker Dan's truck pulls up to….
Dan: The Roadkill Motel. The bar they have here serves the best chili cheese fries in the tri-state area. Wait, is there an Eskimo Joe's around?
Elle: Yes.
Dan: Second best chili cheese fries in the tri-state area. Okay, let's go get some grub.
Elle turns to the Haitian, they are both wearing bandanas.
Haitian: What are these?
Elle: Haitian, listen to me! LISTEN TO ME! OH GOD, WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?
She slaps him.
Haitian: Um, ow, why did you do that?
Elle: Listen, We're probably going to get stabbed millions of times in there! So it's important that we look tough and mingle with the others. Let's practice our secret gang handshake!
Haitian: Our what?
Elle: Haitian! We have to make it look like we're in a gang so we'll look cool! Now, do the handshake! UP HIGH!
SLAP!
Elle: DOWN LOW!
SLAP!
Elle: Oh god you're doing it wrong! (Sobbing) We're gonna die I just know it! Waaaaaah!
She slides out of the truck. She climbs back in.
Elle (sniffing): How's my bandana look? Does it make me look cute?
Haitian: Um…sure.
Elle: Thanks, I thought so too….WAAAAH!
She sobs while sliding back out of the truck.
Haitian: Oh brother.
Outside of town, a car pulls up to an abandoned shack.
Noah: Are you sure this is the address?
Angela: Yes, I hope.
Noah, Angela and Peter get out of the car and approach the shack.
Angela: Hello? Alice? Are you in here? Hello?
Peter: Aunt Alice? It's your favorite nephew, Peter. Nathan's not here! Can I get some new socks for Christmas? Preferably not the ones with the individual toes because they really creep me out.
Noah: Angela, I don't think she's here.
Angela: What was that? That noise?
WOOOOOOO-CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!
Peter: Oh, it was just the Lost Smoke Monster.
Angela: NOT THAT! I mean….
A woman steps out from the shadows.
Angela: Alice? Is that you?
Alice: Angela?
Angela: Oh, Alice! I'm so glad you're okay. I've punished Nathan many times after what he did. He's just selfish, don't mind him.
Alice: I disappeared again because of you!
Angela: Oh, you're still upset about that thing 50 years ago.
Alice: Well, I'm still mad about that. But this time…
Flashback.
Alice is sitting in the shack at Coyote Sands.
Alice (narrating): I managed to come to terms with what happened back then and forgave you for abandoning me. Then we got together for Christmas…
Nathan holds up the pair of socks and sticks his tongue out.
Angela (chiming in): Nathan! I know!
Alice: No. After that, we lost touch again. I got very sick and went to a clinic where I met a man who was so charming and handsome…
Alice was sitting in her hospital bed, a visitor knocks on her door.
Voice: Hello, we've talked several times before but I've never introduced myself…my name is Samson. Samson Gray.
Angela: OH CRAP!
She buries her face in her hands.
Peter: I think I know where this is heading.
Noah: Top one answer on the board. Survey says…
Alice: How could you marry him, Angela? I loved him!
Angela: It was a sham marriage, Alice! We didn't even like each other…well, he may still like me. But I was just using him so he'll invest in The Company, only because he was the Principal at Micah Sanders' high school at the time. And I'm basing that ridiculous financial decision on absolutely nothing. He means nothing to me.
Alice: I'll never forgive you for this. Get out.
Angela: W…what? Oh, come now, Alice, you can't be…
Alice: GET OUT!
Alice raises her hands, the walls of the shack starts to shake.
Noah: Here we go again.
Angela: Tell you what? You can have him back! Really! In fact, in fact….
Angela falls to the ground.
Alice: You didn't even call me to ask if I was feeling well! Which I wasn't!
Angela: I'm sorry! I was probably getting my hair done! Do you like it?
Noah: Okay, let's stop her.
She moves her hand in their direction. Noah and Peter fly backwards and through the wall. Rain is beginning to come down.
Noah: Ugh….anytime you want to chime in here.
Peter: Oh, right.
Meanwhile, Ando opens the door to an office where Hiro is, he is hooked up to the Redux Device.
Ando: Oh, Hiro, this is bad. I need to get you out of there. Where's the manual?
Downstairs.
Linderman whips off Tracy's mask.
Linderman: Why, hello there Niki. It's been far too long since we've seen each other.
Tracy: I swear if one more person calls me an internet stripper I'm going to scream!
Linderman: Oh, no, that's your business. I am here for a very special reason. The very reason why I have Hiro detained. He's one piece of the puzzle, and you Ms. Sanders, are the next.
Tracy: Oh my god, for the last time…wait…What about Hiro?
Linderman: He is hooked up to a special device called The Genesis Redux, it's a special machine that lets him relive the events of Season 1 and prevent a certain event that happened.
Tracy: Can't Hiro travel through time? Wouldn't that be easier?
Linderman: No, no, my dear. The Redux is special; you can go back in time and right any wrong you wish, without the harmful repercussion of The Butterfly Effect.
Tracy: What would happen if he did just travel back in time and save you?
Linderman: Well…I don't know.
Tracy: Probably something I would've had Hiro do BEFORE going into the machine, which probably cost A LOT of money.
Linderman: Pocket change, my dear, pocket change.
He summons one of his henchmen. He hands him a set of keys.
Linderman: Return the Bugatti back to the dealership, and for the love of god don't scratch it!
Linderman turns back to Tracy.
Linderman: Hiro is going back in time to prevent my death.
Tracy: You…look pretty alive from where I'm sitting.
Linderman: Smoke and Mirrors. He is going to stop D.L Hawkins from murdering me. You remember, that night?
Tracy: Uh…yeah….I sure do.
Linderman: Now here is where you come in. You know where he is?
Tracy: Who?
Linderman: Uh, D.L. The only other person we're talking about.
Tracy: Oh, no. Nope! Not a clue!
Linderman: Well, I'm sure the combined efforts of your son, Micah, and his friend Molly Walker can find him. You're going to bring them to me.
Tracy: I don't know where Micah is!
Linderman: Really? Hasn't crossed your mind at all?
Tracy: Well, I mean, it shouldn't be THAT hard to find him.
Linderman: That's good. You have 24 hours.
Linderman starts to walk out.
Linderman: Ando is upstairs trying to find a way not to accidentally kill Hiro. You can bring him along if you wish.
Tracy: Hmm.
Upstairs.
Tracy slaps Ando in the arm.
Ando: OW! What was that for?
Tracy: Did you purposely lead me into a trap?
Ando: I'm sorry; it was the only way to find out where Hiro was. What are you doing here?
Tracy: Linderman has given us 24 hours to find Micah and Molly, which he wants to use them to find D.L.
Ando: You've going to hand over your own son and husband, just like that?
Tracy: I'm not Niki, you dolt! That's my sister!
Ando: Are you sure? You two look just alike…..GASP! Are you really Jessica?
Tracy: What? Who? No…I'm her twin sister.
Ando: Ah.
Tracy: Who is Jessica?
Ando: I wouldn't worry about that.
Tracy: Anyway, I have to get Hiro out of here so he can help me save some other people I need to rescue. That's right, I have my own subplot to deal with, it's not all just about you.
Ando: Okay, but I hope you know what you're doing.
Tracy: Don't worry, I'll figure out something. Now, we just need to locate Micah and Molly.
Back at Arthur's Hideout. In a wall panel.
Micah: Ted sure is taking a long time.
Molly: I wonder if something happened.
The wall panel opens up, Arthur appears.
Micah: Uh oh.
Arthur: Why, hello there. Are you two comfortable?
Molly: Sort of.
Arthur: Why don't you two come with me?
Micah: Uh….Do we have to?
Arthur: Don't worry about Ted, I haven't killed him yet.
Molly: Are you going to kill us?
Arthur: Why, heavens, no. You're far too valuable to me. You see, it has come to my attention that an old friend of mine is looking for you two.
Arthur gets a call on his headset.
Arthur (on headset): Yes?...What's that?...He wrecked the Bugatti? Well he's dead.
Arthur hangs up.
Arthur: Well, my inside source is now probably getting killed as we speak but that doesn't matter. Daniel Linderman is sending two people to bring you back to him.
Micah: Is he still doing that whole 'I'm a ghost' thing? Because I'm still not buying it.
Arthur: Come with me. We'll all be waiting for when our guests arrive.
Micah and Molly follow Arthur out of the wall panel. Meanwhile, Ted gets thrown back in the cell with Sylar and Samson.
Sylar: Where the hell have you been? And where are the others?
Ted: Micah and Molly are hiding in a wall panel and Angela's not even here!
Sylar: WHAT?
Ted: I don't know, I ran through some security footage and found them talking. Then he hands her an envelope then she leaves the compound.
Sylar: That soulless witch!
Samson: I'm sure there's a very good explanation.
Arthur pops in.
Arthur: I just wanted to inform you that I'm using the children as bargaining chips and in case if you're wondering why Angela is gone, it's because I cut her a deal. But you three are still going to die. Not today, maybe tomorrow, possibly during brunch. Ta! Ta!
Arthur closes the door.
Samson: Or she's a soulless witch.
Elsewhere, Angela opens her eyes as she is on the ground several feet away from the shack; she manages to lift her head up to see multiple tornadoes forming on the ground.
Angela: OH, GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!
Peter runs into the shack.
Peter: Sorry, Aunt Alice, I hope this doesn't have an impact on my Christmas socks.
Peter moves both hands in a swooping motion; a wall behind Alice crumbles as a snow storm blows through.
Noah, outside is crawling along the ground.
Noah: Angela! Angela!
Angela: I'm right here! Ugh….
Noah: So, I'm thinking, this plan could really work with the two of them going into Arthur's head on.
Angela: I was thinking the same thing. COW!
The both duck their heads, a cow flies over them.
Cow: MOOOO!
Angela: We just have…..have to….find a way to stop this.
Peter slides outside not too far from the shack. A bolt of lightning strikes him, sending him flying into the car.
Peter: OOF!
Angela: Oh, that is it! I've had enough!
Angela gets up and storms into what's left of the shack.
Angela: Alice! I'm sorry I didn't check up on you, and I'm sorry I fake married the man who I had no idea you were in love with, but let's be honest, he's not that great! But I need your help to save him!
Alice: What?
The storms slow down, eventually disappearing.
Alice: What do you mean, save him?
Angela: He's being held captive, by Arthur.
Alice: I thought he was dead.
Angela: He was, but he was brought back to life. He also has Samson's son Sylar, and two other children held captive as well. He told me where you were only if…oh , and some other guy named Ted. I always forget about him….anyway, He told me where you were only if I agreed to work with him. But now that I've found you we can work together to save them.
Alice: How did he know where I was?
Angela: Uh…I…did not ask.
Noah: Wait, didn't you say he has Molly Walker's power now?
Angela: I….think I may have mentioned that.
Noah: So he locates Alice and uses this as a manipulative tactic to get him to take over the Company. And he probably knew the first thing you'd do was find her and possibly find a way to get her to work with us, so he's probably waiting for us to come after him and fall into a trap.
Angela: Oh, Noah, that sounds…..probable.
Peter: And he'll probably just take our powers the second we get there. So, now what?
Noah: We'll need someone to block his powers while we strike.
Angela: You mean?
Noah (gets on the phone): The Haitian. Where the hell has he been anyway?
Elle and The Haitian are sitting at the bar at the Roadkill Motel.
Elle: Okay, Hashe, this is it. Those gang members over there are looking at us.
Haitian: They want us to join them?
Elle: No, you ninny! They want to stab us….with sharp objects!
Haitian: Uh huh.
Elle: We need to prove to them that we're tough. Quick, let's start a fight!
Haitian: What?
Elle: We need to pick a fight with each other so they'll think we're tough so they won't touch us. Let me break this chair over your face!
Haitian: I'm not letting you do that.
Elle: Come on! Quick, we're going to get stabbed!
Elle (raising her voice): Okay, punk! Looks like someone wants to fight! Here comes my fist!
Haitian: ….
Elle: It's about to make contact….with your face….and prove how tough I am.
Elle whispers to the Haitian.
Elle: I'm actually not much of a puncher, if you could just ram your face into my fist, it'll be just as good.
Haitian: Groan….
Trucker Dan comes up.
Dan: We have to go. Come on.
Elle: Well, we're off to get stabbed. Good going, Haitian!
Dan: We have to make a quick stop at my house real quick.
Elle: Wonderful.
Back in the car.
Noah: I can't get a hold of the Haitian. He's expecting us, so we're going to have to find the best way to handle this.
Alice (to Peter): I'm sorry about that squabble, Peter. I hope I didn't hurt you too much.
Peter: Nah, my back was out of place and slamming up against the car popped it back to where it's supposed to be.
Alice: To show no hard feelings, I got you these.
Peter: Socks? Thanks, Aunt Alice!
Alice: There's another pair you can give to that selfish brother of yours. I worked really hard on those socks and he….oooh, he makes me so mad.
The car starts to shake.
Peter: That's our Aunt Alice!
Noah: Not in the car! I just had it detailed!
Meanwhile, in the cabin in the woods, Nathan wakes up.
Nathan: Huh….uh….what happened?
Claire: Hey….you.
Nathan: Claire? Where am I?
Claire: West shot you while you were flying, so we came to this serial killers cabin and transferred my blood to you. Give you a good fix up.
Nathan: Thanks….ugh, I have to go….save Meredith…
Claire: What?...Meredith…as in…my mom…Meredith?
Nathan: Yeah….Emile Danko has her and her brother held captive at this location. I swore to rescue her not long after I refused to help her.
Claire: Holy crap, we have to save her!
Niki: What's going on?
Claire: My mom's in trouble!
Niki: …..Which one?
Claire: Meredith Gordon!
Matt walks up and takes a picture of Niki, blinding her with the flash.
Niki: AHHH! What the hell, Matt?
Matt: Turns out there was no film in the video camera. But I found this camera though, so now I just take pictures. Making me a horror scrapbook.
Mohinder: Well, we should at least rest until morning. Then we'll go save them, just as long as there are no more interrupt-
The door breaks down. Trucker Dan walks in with a shotgun.
Dan: Everybody in the corner or someone's getting their head blown off.
Mohinder: Oh my!
Dan: In the corner! NOW!
Niki, Mohinder, Matt, Claire, and West get in the corner; Nathan is still on the bed. Elle and The Haitian walk in.
Elle: Oh hey guys...look! Me and the Haitian, totally in a gang. UP HIGH!
Haitian: ….
Elle: You're never going to get it right.
To Be Continued.