So I would imagine that this is a good time to apologize. So without further ado...I'm soo sorry. I realize that this has taken forever and the only reason I can give you is that I'm lazy. I would much rather become absorbed in some of the beautifully written stories on the site than actually write my own for the majority of the time. For anyone who has bothered to check for updates at all...thank you. If you are new to my story, I hope you enjoy it, and if you had forgotten about it and just now was reminded of it, I hope that it is still up to par.
PLEASE!!! Review. Criticize, comment, help, I don't care(well I do care if you don't comment)
Thank you .
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Derek
This was wrong. She probably would have wanted this but it was just wrong. Funerals were not meant to be sunny. There should not be birds chirping in the air. There should be at least one cloud, and a sprinkle of rain. It shouldn't be too hot for a tux, and he definitely should not be standing around his mother's grave today.
He looked up at the group of people that were standing around him. His sister's, their husband's, their kid's, his closest friend's, and his mother's closest friends. They were all people who he cared about, they were all people who he loved being with, but not today.
The priest who had given his mother her final blessing was saying a whispered prayer over her casket. They were all supposed to meet for a luncheon after this but he really didn't feel like it. His mother was being buried today and he didn't think that there was any way that he could pretend to be okay with it for another second. He watched as the casket was lowered into her grave. The small ceremony wasn't quite over yet but he turned around and started to walk away despite the fact. He moved through the small crowd of friends and family, away from everyone.
The walk through the rest of the cemetery was oddly peaceful. The quiet, still air was hot and humid but every once in a while he could feel a gentle breeze on his back. The cemetery was surprisingly beautiful. It was very well kept and there were tons of flowers near almost all of the graves. He liked it. He liked the cemetery. How weird was that.
"Hey." He spun so quickly when he heard her that he swore he probably sprained his neck. "Oh, God! I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to startle you." She looked nervous.
Derek smiled a crooked grin at her and took a small step closer. She was standing by a tree a few yards away from him. "Have you been following me?" He asked her jokingly.
"Not so much following as stalking..." She returned. "I saw you leave and I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She stepped out onto the path and walked to him. "Are you okay?"
He wasn't sure. He didn't know if he was okay. He knew he was upset. He knew that he was feeling things for Meredith. He knew she was feeling things for him. He knew he shouldn't be feeling what he felt right now. But he had no clue whether or not he was okay.
"I'm not sure." He said. "I think I just need a day or two...you know?" He turned away from her and started towards his car. He didn't expect to hear her footsteps following behind him on the trail. She hurried her pace, and soon he could see her out of the corner of his eye.
He unlocked and opened the door of his car and ducked his head to fit inside his rather small car. He had always liked smaller, faster cars. When he settled in and leaned back against the soft leather seat he could see Meredith moving into the seat on his left.
"Where are you going?" She questioned him.
"Uh..." Was all Derek replied. Where was he going. He had absolutely no clue. He didn't know what he wanted right now. He wanted to be carefree, to be excited, to be fun and most of all, to not be weary. That constant state of phisical, spiritual, and mental exhaustion that seemed to have been hanging over him for quite some time now. He wanted to Live. Where he could do that? He didn't quite know. He supposed that it was done everywhere. He knew that there were people everyplace he went that managed to have exactly what he wanted. To let go, to forget, to live in the moment. "Let's just go." He said. Unexpected, he thought to himself. "Good job Derek."
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Meredith
She looked at him as though she knew that there were other things that the two of them should be doing. Like arriving at the luncheon. Or helping tie up the last of his mother's will. Or being responsible in the least, but she knew better than to say anything about it. After all she was his best friend. She knew him.
So they drove.
Derek started the engine of his car and pulled the shifter into gear. They left, just left. But she didn't care, she didn't mind that they were doing exactly what they should not be doing, because that meant an undefined amount of time with the man she so desperately needed.
She could smell his all too familiar scent. After this many years he still smelled the same. His hair was a bit longer, his face was a bit more tired, a lot more tired actually but she knew that the recent stress with his mother was mostly to blame, his muscles were just as defined as she remembered them in High school, though she could see that his body had grown and that, should she rip off his clothes and examine him naked she would find a body that rivaled the models in her anatomy books. His shoulders were broad, his stomach was flat, his butt looked very firm(she had definitely noticed while she walked behind him in the cemetery) and his legs looked toned. She couldn't help but think about all of these things. She couldn't help it because despite the circumstances, despite the sadness that was enveloping them both, she still couldn't repress the feelings that she had been clinging to for over ten years now.
Meredith looked over to the clock and then back at Derek. They had been driving in a weird sort of silence for an hour now and she wasn't quite sure what she could say to him. "We need to go back, Derek." She said, blunt and to the point.
He looked over at her quickly with a sharp glance, but she held his gaze with an equally fierce look. "Yeah, you're right." He gave in after a pause.
She smiled to herself. She still knew how to boss Derek Shepherd around. After all, she hadn't met a person yet(excluding Christina) who didn't break under her forceful look.
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Derek
He sighed inwardly when she won the battle of the wills. She always had been able to push him around without much effort, and he knew that what she was saying was true. His family needed him. He needed them. So he pulled over into a deserted gas station and pulled out in the opposite direction.
And he drove.
He looked over to the person who was filling the seat next to him. Her head was slanted against the car window and her eyes looked like they were closed. He glanced back at the road, only to return his stare to Meredith's face. Driving was becoming increasingly irritating. She was an Angel though. Her hair spilled down around her shoulders and framed her face perfectly. Her hands were as tiny and ineffectual as he remembered them, and he saw no rings of any sort. Good. Was it weird to be thinking about this right now? About a girl, no a woman, he had been attracted to since tenth grade. To be thinking about her soft features and her slender body, only days after his mother's death? He wasn't sure if it was normal for others, but it felt right to him, what his mother would have wanted. Moving on. Recovering. Living.
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Meredith
"Where have you guy's been?" Mark asked as soon as Derek stepped in the door. "We were going just about crazy wondering where you were." Derek didn't reply, but walked silently through to the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the fridge.
"We went for a drive." Meredith answered for him. "He needed some space." She looked up at Mark with a face that seemed to contain every emotion a person could possibly feel. Straining to hold it all in. Mark saw when something behind her eyes broke and he caught her easily as she collapsed into his arms. He tucked her into his body and let her cry against him. Giant sobs wracked her entire body, making her expand and contract painfuly as she gave into the emotions she had been harboring for so long. "I...I...j-just..." But the rest was lost as Mark shushed her into silence and let her mind clear and settle.
After what seemed like forever, her sobs had ended and her tear stains were almost invisible. "Thank you." Was all she could say, but it was all that he required.
"That's what friends are for." He smiled down at her. "I'll be right in." He said. "I'm just going to go change my shirt and I'll be right back." She looked guiltily at the wet, salt-stained spots on his T-shirt and smiled apoligeticaly at him. "It's fine." He said before walking away and leaving her in the small entryway of her apartment.
She followed soon after and found Addison sitting comfortably on her couch watching the TV with a musing look on her face. This was unbearable. Meredith couldn't stand this any longer. She hated everything about death. She needed to forget, to unwind, and so she turned to her only escape route. Tequila. "I need to go." She said. Not to anyone really. "I just need to not be here." She said a little more convincingly this time, though she didn't quite know who she was convincing. Addison looked up at her sympathetically and nodded. Her friends had long ago learned that when she was overwhelmed, the only thing Meredith ever thought to do was run. To get as far away from her problems as possible. They had also learned that there wasn't a Damn thing they could do about it.
"I'm coming." Meredith started at the unexpected voice and looked around. She hadn't realized Derek was in the room. She looked at him with a worried expression but finally decided not to fight him about it. She nodded at him and turned to walk out the door. She supposed it wouldn't really matter if he was along, the more the merrier. Well, not really, but it's the thought that counts.
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Meredith
Loud music. Check. Lots of people. Check. Even more alcohol. Check. She couldn't think of an easier atmosphere to forget her problems in. Sure she wouldn't be able to bring a stranger home tonight, as Derek had tagged along, but maybe that was for the better.
"What do you want?" The voice in her ear asked. She could feel his heat and the full length of his body as it pressed against the full length of hers. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand as she swayed under the intoxicated feeling that just came over her, though she had not yet had a sip of alcohol.
"Mmm, Tequila." She replied slowly. Forcing her mind to stay out of the dangerous vault that she had locked her 'Derek' feelings in. "Double shot." She added before he had walked away.
Meredith took a minute to regain herself and turned around to find the cause of her problems. He was now sitting on a bar stool talking to a familiar face she recognized as Joe. She moved over to the bar and the dark haired dilemma. Meredith sank into the seat next to Derek and reached across him to grab what she assumed was her shot glass.
He watched her, mesmerized, as she drained the shot and a fiery look took over her beautiful face.
She felt emboldened. All that she had ever felt for this man was bubbling to the surface. Anger, affection, friendship, lust, love. She looked at him and saw his eyes mimic hers before she let go. She forgot who she was. She flipped the glass upside down on the bar and turned back to Derek. "OH Shit." She thought.
Meredith's hands were already reaching up to him before she realized what she was doing. She already had a hand fisted into his shirt and the other clutching the back of his neck before she thought about pulling back. Her lips were allready crashing into his before she thought that she wouldn't have pulled back anyways. Fierce, passionate kisses. And He was already kissing her back before she could give it another thought.
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