Sorry about the wait, guys. I've been really busy with exams this past week. I promise that I will start updating more regularly now that I've finished the story. Thanks for all the feedback already.
"So, how was it?" Quinn asked eagerly as the two girls sat down at Santana's regular table in the corner of Earl's. Quinn and Santana were both dressed casually, in jeans and sweatshirts. Since college, Santana didn't really put as much effort into dressing to impress. She was a jeans and t-shirt girl now. Yet, Quinn could still appreciate how beautiful her best friend truly was. Quinn was positive that Santana could have worn a trash-bag and still looked good.
The sun had finally appeared after a gloomy week, and the icy city showed signs of awakening again. It was definitely busier than it had been the past few days, and the coffee shop was full of people. As Santana's solemn attitude became too obvious, Quinn knew that something had happened between the Latina and Brittany. She was too curious for her own good.
Quinn's seemingly innocent question seemed to anger Santana. But Quinn was her best friend, and Santana knew that she had the best intentions; all she wanted was Santana's happiness. Unfortunately, Santana wasn't really all too wiling to share her private feelings about what had gone down the previous day.
Santana looked up to give her blond friend a warm smile and Quinn could see that something had changed within the Latina. Of course, she recognized that Santana was hurting. She could see the pain behind her silent, peaceful exterior. Santana's eyes were what gave her away, and the blond recognized this, giving her friend a gentle smile in return.
"It was…interesting," Santana hesitated before she found the last word. She looked up to see Quinn's smile turn into a questioning expression.
"Interesting?" Quinn repeated, taking a sip of her coffee and raising her eyes. She could tell that Santana was being cautious, but wanted to press the conversation further.
Santana paused, contemplating how to carry on. She could tell the truth and say that seeing Brittany again had been both the worst and best moment in her last five years. She could say that Brittany was even more beautiful than she remembered and still took her breath away. She could tell her that she had been up practically all night reminiscing about their past and bawling her eyes out.
Or, Santana could lie and say that she had moved on and had put her past with Brittany behind her. She could lie and say that she was no longer madly in love with the girl anymore. But, Santana was pretty sure that if she lied, Quinn would know the truth. Santana knew that her eyes were betraying her.
After a few long moments, she continued. "It was hard, seeing her again. But I know that she's happy and that's all that matters to me," she gave a reassuring look to Quinn, but the blond wasn't buying it.
Santana really was happy for Brittany, but deep down she knew that there was a searing jealousy that was ripping her apart at the seams. Deep down, she knew that she still wanted to be the person that would make Brittany the happiest woman in the world.
"Lying to me isn't going to make any of this better," Quinn said, staring knowingly at the Latina. "I know there's more to it than that."
Santana didn't like the direction this discussion was heading, but she knew that Quinn was right. She was a terrible liar. Before she could respond, Quinn interrupted her thoughts.
"I have a confession to make, though," Quinn looked uneasy all of a sudden, as if she was about to spill a damaging secret. Santana had lost her train of thought at the new direction the conversation had taken.
When Quinn still hadn't continued, Santana tilted her head and sighed. "Come on, Q. What is it?"
"I've sort of…known that…Brittany's been here for a while," she exhaled loudly as soon as the words had escaped her lips.
Santana gave her friend a bewildering expression, as the words sunk in. She couldn't decide if she wanted to slap her blond friend for keeping the secret, or thank her again and again for saving her from months of wondering, remembering, and hurting. She decided the latter was more important.
When the words had finally settled in her mind, she gave Quinn a smile. "It's fine, Quinn. I don't really care," she shrugged her shoulders, took a sip of her own coffee and turned her head to look out the window, the same as she always did when she was lost in thought.
"Why not?" Quinn responded, quickly. She was confused at the Latina's reply.
When Santana met Quinn's eyes again, she answered. "It's fine because I'm glad I didn't know." She stopped to read the other girl's face. Santana was telling the truth and Quinn was confused by this.
"I wouldn't have wanted to know that she was here, Quinn. I still really don't want to know, but I guess I didn't have a choice this time around." She clarified, shrugging her shoulders.
Quinn was shocked, to say the least. Quinn knew how much Santana still loved the blond dancer. Even after years with not even a mention of the name, Quinn knew. But then she thought about the situation for a second, and could understand where her friend was coming from. Knowing the love of your life was nearby, happy with another person, wasn't something that you would like to be constantly reminded of.
"You don't want to see her again?" Quinn inferred by the Latina's statement.
Santana simply nodded. She definitely did not want to see Brittany again; she had told Brittany that, herself. "It was nice to see her, but I think a clean break would be the best from now on," she said as she began fiddling with the coffee cup. "It was hard being around her knowing that she's…married," Santana finished, hesitantly. She knew that no matter how many times she said out loud that Brittany was married, she would still cringe and struggle with the words.
"Just because someone's married doesn't mean that they don't harbor old feelings, even after many years," Quinn stated, hoping to encourage the brunette. Just because Brittany was with another man didn't detract from the fact that Santana had changed for the better and still loved the blond unconditionally.
But Santana knew better. She had seen the wedding announcement picture, and she had seen Brittany's face when she had mentioned her husband. Santana recognized that Brittany was happy and living a life that the Latina had always wanted to give her, but couldn't. Santana wished the world for Brittany, but she wasn't going to do anything that would hurt the woman that she still desperately wanted.
"I…I love her Q. I love her just as much as I loved her five years ago, even after I…" she couldn't finish. She hated to think about how much she had hurt Brittany. "But just because I still love her doesn't mean that we are meant to be. She's with Nathan, and I know that he's a good man. He will take care of her and make her happier than I ever could," she sighed and gave her best friend a sad stare. She wanted this to be the end of the conversation.
Quinn didn't agree with what Santana had said, but she understood that she didn't want to continue their discussion. She opened her mouth to say one last comment before they moved on to a completely different subject.
"I'm sorry for telling her where to find you. It's just that, she called me, and she practically begged me to give her your number. I told her that I was pretty sure you didn't want to see her, but she kept pushing me," Quinn apologized, rambling. "I really didn't mean to let it slip," she frowned at her friend, hoping that Santana wasn't mad at her.
Santana smiled and grabbed Quinn's hand, squeezed gently. "I'm not upset, Quinn. I know how persistent Brittney can be." She stood up from her chair and grabbed her coat from the back of her seat.
"It is what it is, Q. I can't do anything about it, as long as you respect my wishes when I tell you that I don't want to see her again," she was firm in her statement, and the blond nodded.
Quinn thought that Santana was making a mistake because she knew that Brittany was the only thing that would ever make Santana truly happy again. But, as much as she hoped for reconciliation between the two, Santana had been right. Brittany was married, now; she was taken, and she definitely didn't belong to Santana anymore. It didn't matter that Santana was and would always be Brittany's.
"I guess I should tell you that I'm having a little party this weekend. I already invited Brittany and Nathan when I talked to her earlier, so you might want to sit this one out," Quinn said as she walked down the street with Santana. When Santana's eyes just about jumped out of her sockets, Quinn wanted to reassure her friend that it would be okay.
"Don't worry about it, S. I'll come up with some excuse for why you won't be there," she smiled and Santana sighed, relaxing.
They continued walking down the sidewalk in silence. It truly was a beautiful morning, and Santana felt at ease for once in the past hour. She carefully avoided all the snow piles, picking up her boot-covered feet high as she walked. No matter how pretty and clear the sky was, she was still pissed about the weather. She still hated the snow, which would be around for the next few weeks, for sure.
"How's the writing going?" Quinn asked, as they rounded the corner of a block. They were heading to Crate and Barrel because Quinn was moving out of her apartment and into a new one with her present boyfriend, Puck. Quinn had claimed that she "would need to completely redecorate the entire place, for sure." Santana was there to help.
"Fine," Santana answered. Santana's writing was an extremely big part of her life. In fact, it was one of the reasons that she was doing so well financially. She had lied to Brittany when she had told her that she wasn't published. But even if she had told the truth, Brittany wouldn't have been able to find her name on any writing, anywhere. Santana's pen name, on the other hand, could be found relatively easily. Brittany would no longer question how Santana could afford to live like she did if she knew the truth. But, only Quinn and Santana's publisher, Rachel, knew her true identity.
"Fine, that's it?" Quinn questioned, loudly. Quinn really hoped that Santana's writing was much better than fine.
"Yeah," she nodded her head, as they turned the last corner to the store. "I'm thinking about taking a break for a little while and getting away, though."
Quinn was a little startled by the brunette's confession. This was the first time that she was hearing about this from Santana. "Going where? For like, a while?" she asked, confused.
Santana simply shrugged her shoulders. She had been thinking a lot about leaving New York since last night. She had pictured herself on various beaches across the world. She liked Hawaii or Tahiti, and she could definitely visualize herself lying on the white sand for days. "I've been writing nonstop since I graduated, Q. I think it's about time that I took a vacation."
"I know," she said, emphasizing the 'know', but she seemed to think that the Latina was overlooking the most important factor of all. "But, don't you have like deadlines for the next…I don't know, two years?"
Santana rolled her eyes at Quinn like she was overacting. "It's not that big of a deal, Quinn. After how much money I've made for Rachel, I'm sure she won't care if I leave for a few months," she explained as they came to the doors of their destination. Before they entered, Quinn grabbed the brunette's hand, pulling her back to where she was standing in complete shock.
"A few months?" she gasped, loudly. Santana rolled her eyes and stilled her heavily-breathing friend with her arms.
"It's okay, Q," Santana reassured her as she gently hugged the blond. "I'll be back before you know it."
Once she pulled back to look at her still-shocked friend, she knew that she was in for some harsh words and accusations. Like, why now? But, she was sure that, once again, Quinn wouldn't really have to ask that question. The answer was fairly obvious.
"This is totally ridiculous, S. You can't let Brittany run you out of here: out of your home, your city. This place is like your sanctuary," she practically yelled at the Latina.
"Yeah, it is…" Santana agreed, nodding her head. She wouldn't argue this with Quinn because she knew that the blond was right. New York had changed her for the better. She knew that coming here had been the best decision of her life. She couldn't even imagine her life without the busy hustle and billion, never-ending opportunities for greatness. "But, I can't walk these streets knowing that she might show up, out of the blue, anywhere. I already told you that I don't want to see her again. It's for the best that I get away."
As these words hung in the air and settled, Quinn watched her best friend enter the large store in front of them.
After mindlessly wandering around the shop, Quinn decided to go look for Santana. The two had split up, searching for various things that Quinn needed. The blond couldn't shake the conversation the two of them had had outside of the store. She didn't feel comfortable with leaving it the way they had.
She fought her way through the busy store and past the isle of bed sheets. That's when she caught an image out of the corner of her eye that stunned and paralyzed her. She couldn't move her legs as her head turned to face two individuals that she recognized immediately, standing barely ten feet away from her.
The other blond that was looking at various towels felt an intense gaze on her instantly. She hadn't heard the man next to her ask a question because she turned her eyes towards the intense gaze that was piercing her through.
"Quinn?" she gasped as she recognized the blond from high school. She practically ran the small distance between the two of them and embraced the shocked girl in her arms, energetically.
Of course, Quinn snapped out of her daze and reciprocated the hug, smiling. But, deep down she knew that this was going to be a big, big problem. And soon.
She felt Brittany's embrace falter as she stepped back to look at her old friend.
"Is that…really you?" Quinn turned her head to the man that had approached the two girls. She knew it was Nathan as soon as she heard his voice, but she had to see it with her own eyes.
As the couple stood next to each other, Quinn took the moment to study the two of them together.
Brittany was wearing black jeans and a dark grey sweater with a purple scarf. She had on black boots that reached up to her knees. She looked…good. Her hair was longer and curled. Quinn thought she looked even more beautiful than back in high school, if that was possible.
Nathan was wearing a dress shirt and tie with kaki pants and dress shoes. His hair was shaggy, but didn't cover his bright green eyes. His face was less baby-ish and more chiseled. He was handsome, there was no argument there.
Then, after studying the two of them separately, she observed the two of them together.
He was standing next to her, with his hand resting gently on her shoulder. Brittany sort of fell back into him. They were close and intimate in their stance. Quinn felt sad when she realized that they were both smiling, magnificently. Unfortunately, they did look happy.
When she realized that she still hadn't responded back, she shook her head, exiting her deep thoughts and returned to the present situation.
"Yyy…yeah," she finally managed to say. "Sorry," she smiled and reached her hand out in front of Nathan. "It's good to see you again," she finished.
He took her hand, willingly and gave her a warm smile. "How have you been?" he asked after they had finished shaking.
Quinn shifted her stance and answered. "I'm great," she answered. "Trying to get some new stuff for the new apartment," she admitted, holding up the few things in her non-free hand.
"You're moving?" Nathan asked.
"I thought I told you about the party this weekend, Nate," Brittany answered for the other blond. Brittany smiled at Quinn, happily. "She's having a moving in party that she kindly invited us to," she nodded her head.
"Oh," Nathan replied. "I didn't know that you meant the same Quinn that I knew."
"Wait, you know each other?" Brittany asked, confused, and a little late in the realization. Brittany was still a little slow sometimes.
"Yeah, Nathan, Santana, and I were close friends back in college. I assumed that he told you about Santana," Quinn clarified, becoming more confused at Brittany's startled look.
Quinn quickly realized that Nathan hadn't mentioned the two of them to Brittany by the guilty look on his face, and she silently laughed at the situation. This was going to be interesting…
"Santana and Nathan dated for…a while back in college. We were all really close. I'm sorry we lost track after graduation. Santana's been like…crazy busy, though," she immediately regretted saying that last bit as soon as it had come out. She tended to ramble sometimes when she was uncomfortable. "Me too, as well. I'm at Columbia for law school," she said, hoping to cover up the mistake she had made.
"Wait…" Brittany turned to face her husband, questioningly. "You and Santana dated?" she seemed upset.
Nathan didn't look guilty anymore; instead, he looked just as confused and even a little angry. His eyebrows scrunched, and he gave Brittany a questioning glance.
"So?" he shrugged his shoulders. Quinn understood that he hadn't put two and two together yet, either. Apparently, neither of them had mentioned their relationship with Santana, and this amused Quinn, a lot.
Quinn let out a giant chuckle and continued to stare at the two of them, intensely.
"Hey, Quinn?" came a voice from around the corner. Apparently, Santana could only see Quinn from behind the isle, so she was unknowingly walking into a fire pit.
Quinn, Santana, and Nathan all turned to the voice that had just reached them, and as Santana rounded the corner, she stopped. Her eyes grew and she dropped the few items that had been in her arms.
"Uhhhhhh," she managed as she fell to her knees, trying to grab the items that had fallen.
Quinn took the few seconds to appreciate the irony in the situation, and laughed again. This time, she received an extremely angry look from her best friend, so she knelt down as well to help Santana gather her things.
"Santana?" both Nathan and Brittany said at the same time.
When the Latina got to her feet again, she smiled awkwardly and blushed deeply. "Hi, Nathan," she acknowledged the old boyfriend first.
Nathan seemed more confused that Brittany was staring at Santana with an intensity that he had never seen before, than the obvious fact that both his wife and Santana knew each other.
"How do you two know each other?" Nathan asked, wondering.
When neither Santana nor Brittany had moved their eyes from the other, Quinn decided that she would answer because it didn't seem like either one of them would, any time soon.
"Santana and Brittany dated in high school," she answered, looking Nathan in the eyes.
He immediately seemed put off by this statement because he took a step back and raised his eyebrows extremely high.
"Wow," Nathan exhaled, deeply, rubbing the back of his neck. "This is super awkward, then," he admitted, laughing lightly.
"Yeah," Quinn agreed, whispering.
While Quinn and Nathan had been talking, Santana had been watching Brittany, intensely. She didn't want to be here; she wanted to be anywhere but here. Hadn't she just been saying that she didn't want to randomly run into Brittany in the city? And now she was with Nathan? She felt faint all of a sudden as the walls seemed to be crumbling down on her.
So, instead of sticking around and embarrassing herself, immensely, she turned around on her heels and made her way to the check-out.
Brittany didn't let Santana get that far because once she realized that the Latina was running away, she followed her, quickly.
"Santana, wait!" she yelled, as the brunette disappeared into the crowd. She pushed through the masses of people, searching for the dark hair that would tell the blond that the girl wasn't too far away.
When she reached the register counter, she stopped to look at Santana, who was placing her items on the counter and greeting the woman who stood behind it. She moved, cautiously towards her destination and stopped once she had reached the Latina's side.
"Why did you run?" Brittany questioned, softly, so that only Santana could hear what she was saying. She moved so close to the brunette that Santana could feel the blonde's breath on her neck. She could feel her skin tingle into a million sharp jolts of electricity.
She knew that she couldn't turn to face Brittany because she would feel faint again, so she stayed where she was, unmoving.
"I don't want to see you…" with him. She finished the statement in her head so that Brittany couldn't hear her. Hopefully, her answer would make the bond give her some space. She was right.
Brittany took a step back, and Santana could tell that her words seemed to hurt the blond, even though she wasn't looking at her. She knew. She always knew when it came to Brittany, even after five long years.
"Why did you lie to me?" Brittany asked.
Santana had told so many lies to Brittany in the past that she had no way of knowing which lie the girl was talking about.
"I didn't realize that you knew Nathan," she clarified.
Santana simply closed her eyes and watched the cashier ring up her final few items.
"That's $101.35," the woman said, as Santana pulled her wallet out of her jacket pocket. She handed the woman her credit card and slowly turned to face Brittany.
"I didn't think it really mattered," she shrugged her shoulders and gave Brittany a warm smile that the blond hadn't been expecting.
"Here you go, miss," the cashier said, as she handed back Santana's credit card and began placing the items in a couple of bags.
"Thanks," Santana nodded to the cashier as she moved away from the counter and towards the front of the door. She could feel Brittany following her.
"Santana?" Brittany sounded so hurt by the Latina's seemingly indifferent attitude.
Santana turned around to face Brittany again. "Yes?"
"Can I see you again?" she asked, desperate to hold onto anything that Santana could give her, even if it was a broken promise.
Santana didn't answer, but she knew that Brittany was waiting. Instead, she said, "tell Quinn I'll meet her back at my apartment." And she turned on her heals to exit the building and enter the cold, sunny, outside world.