From: tootsiepopgurl
Subject: Sephiroth this, Sephiroth that…
HIYA XEMNAS! i just have one question for you...and it might piss you off..but here goes anyway!
you do know that sephiroth is the greatest villian out there right?? i mean...his name doesnt spell mansex...and...sephiroth is hot.
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To tootsiepopgurl (what are you like a prep or something?)
Ilixelm here (yes I'm borrowing my Daddy's Computer)
You should learn to respect your Superiors. My Daddy is one million times better than Sephiroth…Now go away before I get Voodoo on your ass. Or possibly Papa, Yes Saïx! -evil smirk-
Ilix.
----
Ilixelm, you shouldn't have taken my computer without permission, however I am grateful that you have defended me.
-cough Love cough-
Xemnas.
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From:
Obsessive
Gamer Chick
Subject:
Four Questions
Yo
Xemnas.
1. Vexen Popsicle or Barbecued Axel?
2. Chicken or
Beef?
3. Rabid Fangirl or Sugar High Fangirl?
4. Favorite dish
made by Zexion?
Sorry, I usually have fairly normal questions, but I'm in a random mood. Just let me know if I annoy you, ok?
Obsessive Gamer Chick
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Dear Obsessive Gamer Chick,
Hello there,
1) How can you barbecue a pyro? Can this be done logically? Can you teach me?
2) I quite like marinated roast beef.
3) Considering I always have Ilixelm's somebody (Millie) on a sugar high, I prefer Rabid Fangirls.
4) I don't allow Zexion to cook, I'm afraid his hair might get in the food.
Thank you and no, you haven't annoyed me.
Signed,
Your Superior and friend,
Xemnas.
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From: Taegra Live
Subject: Ten Questions
Xemnas,
1)
How is it like to run Organization XI? I mean, do things run
smoothly...or end up blowing up in your face?
2) If you could kill
Sora in any way possible, how would you kill him?
3) Did you
honestly fall for Riku and Mickey's Organization XI looks or did you
know all along that it was really them?
4) Why did you steal Ansem
the Wise's name?
5) If you could rule over any world (Pick only
one please) which would it be and why?
6) If I told you that I
worshiped Organization XI, would you be...er...for a lack of
words...concerned?
7) Why is it called "The World That Never
Was" when it is clearly there; therefore, it had to be?
8) Am
I annoying you?
9) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a
woodchuck could chuck wood?
10) Would you ever consider converting
to Cheeseism? It is the best religion in the world. Our God is a
Macaroni(I wish I could spell) and Cheese God named Cheeseist. Of
course, he is nowhere near as amazing and does not deserve as much
worship as Kingdom Hearts...
That's it...for now. Later! Taerga
Live
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Dear Taegra Live,
1) Most things run smoothly, however I usually find that the first explosion is from Axel or Xigbar.
2) I'd allow my daughter to deal with him as she has got quite the imagination.
3) Of course I knew it was them. Square Enix and Disney, however, made me look stupid.
4) We are technically the same person.
5) The World That Never Was because I wouldn't like to live anywhere else.
6) I'd be a little concerned, yes. However Millie also worships us, so it's nothing new.
7) We're not supposed to exist thus, nor the world.
8) Not at all. –Xemnas smile-
9) She sells sea shells on the sea shore?
10) …No…Oh Kingdom Hearts…ignore her meaningless efforts. For I worship you…Oh My Kingdom Hearts.
Signed,
Your Superior and friend,
Xemnas.
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From: Anime-Fan-Girlz
Subject: Zexion, Marluxia and seriousness
Whew, I've managed to hide in my inpenetrable attic of... um... attic-ness. Saïx won't be able to catch me here... Zexion told me to tell you that he says hi and Marluxia told me to tell you to get him out of there. Anyways, onto all seriousness.
GASPETH! YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS!? BLASEPHY I SAY! BLASPHEMY! If I could make this text any bigger I would, but I can't so just imagine this next blasphemy bigger. BLASEPHEMY! Dammit man, now you're making me hyperventilate! Don't you realize I have asthma!? Geez, I suppose now you're going to tell me you've never seen Lord of the Rings...
And why'd you have to go send Saïx after me? It was just a freaking yes or no question! I think someone needs to take care of that anger problem! And don't give me that "But we can't feel!" stuff. If you sent Saïx after me, then you CLEARLY have anger issues. And just for that, you get TWICE the amount of questions next time I swing around. Hehe... You brought it upon yourself. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
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Dear Anime-Fan-Girlz,
Tell That Traitor Marluxia, that he can stay there. I have always wanted a good punishment for him. Tell Zexion that I say hello back.
Oh I lied, I have watched Star Wars…it was on my first date with Saïx (How could I have forgotten?) Then he went berserk in the cinema and threatened to sue… (Oh wait now I remember!) I also have seen Lord of the Rings and I've read all the books. So no need to die…yet.
I only 'feel' the ghost feelings left alone by the misery that is caused from being a nobody.
Signed, Your Superior and friend,
Xemnas.