"..."

"..."

"..."

All three were on the train again. With boredom striking every time, they should have known and prepared something. But they didn't.

"Man, this is so boring." Klopk complained.

"Why have we been going on the train so much anyway? We might run out of money." Leah sighed.

"Well, you can't really walk there, and none of can drive." Sven added.

They all sighed; this would be a long journey.

After the long and boring journey, during which they consumed some of the never ending cookies, they arrived in Dublith.

Klopk was the first off and she stretched once she was on the platform.

"I hate trains. I hope that grammar guy is here so we can ask him our question and go home!"

"Home?" Sven looked at them. "Where exactly is home for you?"

"Oh, we live out West," Leah explained. "But nothing exciting ever happens out there."

"Did you see that?" Klopk suddenly exclaimed, pointing at the shadows. "I swear I saw a man watching us!"

"Creeeeepy," Leah commented.

"Yeah, we should get going."

Then, the Grammar Thief struck.

"Hiieee!" Klopk made a high pitched screech when the train suddenly started again.

"We didn't even not get off yet…!" Leah complained.

"What? That's a double negative." Klopk said, "And we is looking for the engl-!"

Sven decided to speak this time, "Yous guys ar-!"

All three suddenly made a connection.

"Mwahaha!" The Thief jumped off the train, his black cape swishing behind him. He looked to be carrying something, but they couldn't tell what it was.

"Stop that man for we!" Klopk shouted, pointing him out for the crowd. But, they being an anonymous crowd did nothing to stop him. Soon, he was out of sight. The three went to hop off the train at the last second and searched for the man.

"He took we's well grammar!" Leah exclaimed.

"Us knows!" Sven yelled. "How could him?"

"More like, how did him?" Klopk corrected.

"We has to find he! And somehow get us well grammar back!" Leah led the way through the crowd as they began the search for the Grammar Thief.

They jumped off the train in close pursuit of the grammer theif.

"Give us back us good grammer!" Klopk shouted as she chased the man.

"Fufufu... Now what fun would that be?"

"Grr"

The three ran as fast as they could to keep up with the man. Klopk suddenly got an idea. She stopped, and pulled out a sheet of paper. On the paper was an alchemy circle. She placed her hand on it, and of course, activating it.

The sky got dark and began to drizzle. Leah, who was still running, pulled out a piece of paper as well. She quickly activated it, and in front of them, now stood a frozen villain.

"Whoas" Sven said with horrible grammar.

"Haha! Us winned!" Klopk exclaimed.

"Oh nope!" Leah had a sudden realization. "Us still have ungood grammar!"

"How do us reverse that?" Klopk looked at the frozen Thief.

"We has to defroze him," Sven said. "Only him can reverse this."

"But what if him take our well grammar again?" Klopk asked.

"Us has to takes that risk." Leah unfroze the man, but it was obvious that they all were prepared to attack if needed. He fell to the ground, and dropped what he was holding.

"I thinks that he are unconsious."

Klopk picked up the item. It was a short red and green stick. On both ends was a small point.

"Hmm? What this is?"

Suddenly it started glowing.

"Hey! Put that down before it hurts you!" Sven commanded.

Klopk did so, but then paused. "Sven? Did you just use proper grammar?"

"You just did too!" Leah said.

"Cool! We got our grammar back!"

The man was slowly inching away from then, but Sven grabbed his arm and dragged him back.

"What did you do?" All three demanded at the same time.

"Uh . . . I no has well grammar. And you does. So it be me duty to gets well grammar."

"You can't go around and steal good grammar from people!" Leah told him.

"That be what yous thinks!" And he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What was that all about?" Leah huffed.

"I don't know, but where exactly are we?" Sven asked.

Looking around, they found themselves in a forest. There was rain stuck on the leaves of the trees, but still pretty dry.

"We should get going." Klopk said.

They found that they had gone rather deep in the forest, but they were able to get out before sunset.

"It's getting dark, we should find a place to stay." Klopk pulled a few leaves out of her hair.

"There is a town over there!" Sven pointed.

"Well, let's get going then."

They entered the nearby town.

"Is this Dublith? I hope it is..." Klopk wondered.

They looked at the entrence sign, 'Dublith'

"Looks like it is. Come on, first, we need a place to stay."

They looked around for a hotel, and found one.

"Alright, we can start looking for the English Master tomorrow. For now, good night."

They rented two rooms in the hotel, one for Sven and the other for Leah and Klopk. They all slept fine, but by the next morning they realized they needed some new food besides cookies, cake and strawberries.

When they got up in the morning, they went to the market and bought some fish, just so they could eat something new.

"This was such a good idea!" Klopk examined a fish.

"Ya!" Sven agreed with a strange accent again. Klopk gave him a funny look and he tried to cough and cover it up. "Hem, hem. Yeah."

"It's the creeper!" Leah suddenly exclaimed, pointing out the man who had attacked them the previous day.

"Where?" Klopk spun around, but the man was gone. "Are you sure?"

`"Well, it could have been someone else, but it sure looked like him!"

"Any way, we have to look for the English Master."

They all cheered.

"Hmm, it's funny how I seem to care a lot more about good grammar ever since I almost lost it." Sven said.

"That's how most people would react to having their grammar stolen," Klopk said.

"Is that a little kid?" Leah pointed off again. This time when they indeed saw a little kid standing behind them kind of creepy-like.

"Well, hi there!" Klopk beamed. "Where are your parents."

"Dead." The little kid had a dark, monotonous voice, and the first word he said pretty much murdered conversation.

"Oh, uh," Klopk tried to save the doomed conversation.

"My name is Era. I heard you people talking about grammar. I happen to be an avid grammar freak."

"Well, would you look at that!" Leah exclaimed. "He's only seven-"

"I'm twelve."

"-And he is already concerned about good grammar! Can we keep him? Pleeeeeease?"

"...We can't just take someone from wherever they are. That's considered kidnapping." Sven said.

Leah frowned, but dropped the subject. "But, if your parents are dead, who do you live with?"

In the same monotone voice, he replied, "Nobody. I live by myself."

"Weeeell, wanna come with us? We are going to learn about irony!"

"Sure."

"Yaaay!"

Klopk and Sven pulled a facepalm, but decided to humor Leah.

"Alright! So, what is your name?" Leah asked.

"Era." the boy replied. It seemed like everything he said was in monotone.

"Okay! So, Era, do you know of an English Master around here?"

Era shook his head. "I do not live in this town."

"He kinda creeps me out," Klopk whispered to Sven.

"Agreed. I don't know if we can trust him."

"C'mon guys!" Leah yelled at them, already walking away towards the center of town.

"Maybe we can talk to someone and find the Master," Klopk said as they followed Leah and Era. They went around asking many people the same question, 'Do you know where the English Master is?' but not many people had even heard of him.

"I wonder if he really is here..." Sven thought to himself. They had been looking for a while now, but had no luck.

They continued to search until late night, in which they went back to the hotel room.

Klopk sighed, "Maybe we missed him again. Pinako did say that he didn't talk much. That's why nobody here knows about him."

"Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow," Leah suggested.

They got up the next morning in the same fashion as the day before, except this time they already had fish to eat. They ate their breakfast with very little to say. Then they continued questioning the locals about the English Master. They had no luck again.

"I can't believe no one knows the English Master!" Klopk said as they returned to the butcher shop to get more fish.

"Wait, the English Master?" A woman in a white dress with dark hair came up to them with a stern look on her face.

"Uh, yeah," Klopk shrank away from her glare.

The woman looked around quickly to make sure no one was listening, then pulled the foursome into the back room. "Why are you guys looking for him?" The woman asked.

Leah, Sven and Klopk all responded, "To find the true meaning of irony."

"Hmm... By the way, my name is Izumi Curtis, and yours?"

"I'm Leah, that one is Sven, she's Klopk and the kid over there is Era." Leah pointed to each one as she mentioned them.

"What a strange group to be traveling together."

"Tell me about it," Sven said. "We've gotten a lot of strange looks."

"So, you want to find the English Master?" Izumi decided to get to business. "Well, you're in luck. He's still in town."

"Really?" All four pairs of eyes lit up as they said the word together.

"Yes," Izumi said. "But I won't tell you where he is. In order to learn something from the Master, one has to go through the process of finding him. I am allowed to give you one hint though: He isn't in this building."

"What?" Leah yelled. "We have to find him?"

"Yes. These are his rules, not mine."

"Well," Klopk stood, "we better get searching if we are going to find him."

"Oh and one other thing," Izumi stopped them at the door. "He will leave town in three days. So you have to find him before then."

"Thank you very much!" Klopk said as they ran out to find him.

Izumi just smiled. The four started their search immediately.

They asked anybody, and everybody. But they had no luck.

"Weird. It seems like Izumi is the only person to know about him."

They all sat in silence, until Era said, "This could be a test."

When the other three gave him blank stares, he continued, "It could a test to see if we deserve to have our question answered. The rest of the town could be apart of it, and are only saying that they don't know him to test us. It's a battle of brains."

"A battle of the brains, huh?" Klopk pondered that.

"What if we already met the English Master, but we didn't know it!" Leah exclaimed.

"That is a possibility," Sven agreed.

"But what if us can't find he?" Era asked.

The other three looked at Era in shock.

"Oh no," Leah breathed. "It be he again!"

"It be the Grammar Thieves!" Klopk yelled, pointing at the cloaked man who was running away.

"Grammar theifes?" Era asked. He some how managed to get confusion, annoyance and boredom into a single expression

"Yeah, an guy who will steal us good grammar." Sven said.

"Come on, we's has to catch he!" Klopk was already up and chasing him along with Leah.

Sven also got up, but before he went far, Era was surrounded in dark purple flames, with black electricity orbiting around that.

"Oh me!" Sven said, stopping in his tracks.

"What be happens?" Leah asked as she and Klopk stopped in their tracks.

"These look like black magics!" Sven exclaimed.

"Uh, oh," the Grammar thief continued running away, trying to escape Era's fire. Era turned his head to face the Grammar Thiff. (now named GT)

"You... Give up nows or else." Era was still monotone, but it was a lot creepier with the flames around him.

"A-ahh...!" GT tripped over a small pebble while trying to flee. He was just as scared as the rest of them, if not more.

Era seemed to have taken this as a negative, as he began to move his mouth.

"I-is he chanting a spell?" Klopk gasped.

"But I can't hear anything..." Leah said.

Era stopped with his silent chant, and the flames shot out. GT's eyes widened for an instant before he was engulfed in flames. The purple flames seemed to burn him to a crisp, but when they subsided he had vanished.

"Darn the crafty ninja!" Leah spat.

"Where did he go?" Klopk looked for any sign of him, but found nothing.

"He always disappears," Sven shook his head. "Hey! We got our grammar back!"

"Yeah! Cool!" Leah said.

"But . . ." Klopk said as she and the other two turned to stare at Era. "What in Amestris was that?"

"Black magic," Era's face betrayed no emotion. "Get used to it." The three didn't question him any further, but it was easy to tell that they were still curious.

"We still have to find the English Master. Do any of you know where we should start?" Sven wanted to get the first task at hand done before going back to the black magic.

They all thought for a moment, then a light went off in Leah's mind.

"Hey, what if Izumi is the master? She was the only one to 'know' about him."

"That is true," Klopk thought for a moment. "To Izumi it is!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Leah, Klopk and Sven were stunned by Izumi's reaction. Era didn't care. She was rolling on the floor, overcome with laughter.

"Uh, Mrs. Curtis?" Sven asked politely. "Are you okay?"

"You think I'M the English Master?" she gasped. "Not in a million years!"

"Dang it," Leah frowned. "I thought we were on to something."

"Well, I am not the Master, and now you only have two days left to find him."

"Well, then how do you know about him while everybody else in the town hasn't even heard about him?" Klopk asked.

Izumi stopped laughing. "Hmm, it seems like you found out something, but you need to solve my riddle before I can tell you anymore."

"So I was correct..." They turned around to face Era. "Izumi would be the 'main quest' while everybody else is a minor character."

Izumi looked confused and asked, "What do you mean?"

Era sighed and continued explaining, "Like in a game. There will be a main objective, which the party has to complete before continuing. The others are unimportant and not needed. When in a situation like this, where everybody lies, then the one who knows anything at all is the one with the main quest."

"So this is a game?" Leah was a little annoyed. "We just want to know about irony!"

Izumi gave Era an approving look. "Good work, kid. You're pretty bright. Well, you found me. I already told you, I'm not the Master, but I do know where he is."

"Well . . ." Klopk said, hoping she would continue.

"But I'm not allowed to tell you still. I told you, it is part of the learning process to find the Master."

"Dang it."

"So what's your riddle from earlier?" Sven asked. If they solved it, then the search would be a lot easier.

"Oh, that? Yeah, Era there pretty much answered it already." There goes that idea.

Leah looked up. "Can we hear it anyway?"

Izumi sighed and started, "Alright, so here it is;

You look for the master,

in a town covered in mist.

A single flower blooms,

pointing to one that doesn't exist."

"Why are you the only one who knows about this Master? Why you?" Sven asked.

"Well, I am the person least expected to know about the English Master. Come on now, the butcher's wife? Would you really expect me?"

"That is true," Klopk agreed. "But how did Era solve your riddle? I don't get it."

"Well, the first line is a given, so maybe Era can tell you the rest."

Era didn't look too happy about this, but he never looked happy in the first place, so no one took note of this.

"The 'town covered in mist' is the town, Dublith. Everybody here is lying, which would be the mist part. 'A single flower blooms' means that a single person will tell the truth, and that was Izumi. It 'points to one that doesn't exist', showing us that she can lead us about the English Master while everyone else is telling us that he isn't here."

"Man, this kid is smart. He didn't even think about it." Izumi remarked, "Alright, that's it, so get searching."

"Wait! Weren't you supposed to tell us more when we solved the riddle?" Klopk blurted.

Izumi smirked, "Ahh, you guys are sharp. Follow me." She took them into the back room where she pulled out a photo album.

"You have pictures of the English Master?" Leah asked in disbelief.

"No, he doesn't have his picture taken. But this pictures should give you a clue to where he is." She handed them four pictures. "This is all I'm allowed to give you."

Klopk took the pictures and looked at them. "Hmm. These are just pictures of you and your husband at different parts of the city."

Era glanced at them. "No they aren't. It is the same part of the city, just from different views."

"How can you tell?" Sven studied the pictures.

"There, there and there." Era pointed at three of the pictures. "That is the exact same door. And the fourth picture must be the back of whatever building it is."

The other four looked at Era in shock. "Where did you find this kid?" Izumi asked.

"They didn't find me, I found them," Era said in his monotone. He looked back at the pictures. "Oh, no."

"What?" His three comrades looked at him.

"That building isn't in Dublith."

"What? But isn't the English Master supposed to be in Dublith?" Leah had been through enough troubles already.

"Yeah! How is this related to our search?" Klopk was also tired of chasing someone who was so confusing.

Izumi didn't seem to mind, "That's for me to know and you to find out."

"Great, more riddles..."

"Dang it!" Era suddenly burst out in an enraged monotone.

"What?" Everyone stared at him.

"The English Master already left, didn't he?"

"Clever kid," Izumi smirked.

"What?" Leah burst out. "You told us he would be here for a couple more days!"

"You guys obviously need help with irony. I was using verbal irony, otherwise known as sarcasm," Izumi beamed. "It's part of learning, to recognize what you are trying to learn!"

"You fail at sarcasm," Klopk pointed out.

"Obviously you can't appreciate what a fine art it is," she glared at the foursome. "Well, you guys better be off."

"Where?" Leah was confused.

"Central, of course! Everyone knows that is where the English Master goes after they visit Dublith!" And with that she threw them out of the shop.

"Not another city!" Leah moaned.

"Come on," Klopk said. "We gotta keep moving and figure this out."

The four were at the train station. As usual, they had bought the tickets to discover that they had some time to waste.

"Man, what did we go through all that for? And we are still nowhere near finding him!" Leah was not in a good mood. After travelling from city to city, they had finally gotten the chance to catch the English Master, to discover that they had just missed him.

The others agreed, but left the complaining to Leah. It was like this for a while, until Sven noticed something.

"Hey, when's the last time we restocked on supplies?"

"Uhh... Does buying fish count?"

"..."

They went to the market again with an hour left before their train left.

"Cookies!" Leah's eyes brightened.

"No, healthy food for us," Sven dragged them away from the Sweet Shop.

"Who eats healthy food anymore?" Klopk asked.

"Here," Sven ignored her question. He threw strawberries at them, because they were still in season. They collected several more type of fruit, along with more fish and a bunch of bread.